DTW/ORD Fan!
Topic Author
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Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:04 am

Alright, all of us have encountered at least ONE passenger that makes a complete fool of his/herself. Or, says something really idiotic, etc. If its funny, outlandish, leud, whatever. Lets hear them. This has been done before, but I can't finda recent thread on it. So, start it up.
 
cedarjet
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:11 am

Me. I went to Sydney a couple of weeks ago cos my Gran came to England in December and she's 86 and gets a little dotty at times, plus broke her arm while she was here. So I couriered her back. Before I went I was telling my friends I was couriering her, and when we got to immigration at Kingsford-Smith we got pulled over in the Green channel. The customs guy asked me what the purpose of my visit was, and as an automatic reflex (I don't make jokes with these people) I said, "I'm a courier." He must have been stunned, it was never this easy in training. I pulled a face and added, "That sounds a bit dodgy," and explained myself a little better. But it was a breathtakingly stupid thing to say and I was lucky I didn't get a rubber glove up my arse. Deserved it anyway.

Btw at check-in at Heathrow they took my Gran's nailclippers off her. I would love to know how a frail 86 year old with a broken arm could take over a plane with nailclippers. She would have struggled to clip her nails with them. I know there are no exceptions but I still thought it was funny.
fly Saha Air 707s daily from Tehran's downtown Mehrabad to Mashhad, Kish Island and Ahwaz
 
A330_DTW
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:14 am

The other day I called passenger "Allman" to the podium. Two guys came running over and said, "we were across the hall, but did you just call all men to the podium?"

Duh!
 
flyCMH
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:20 am

I watched as a man told his wife that the aircraft pulling up to a gate at Port Columbus was a DC-8. The aircraft was an America West Express Canadair Regional Jet.
 
portcolumbus
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:39 am

I watched as a woman told his husband that the aircraft pulling up to a gate at Port Columbus was a 747. The aircraft was a COex. B1900.
 
portcolumbus
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:39 am

er, HER husband
 
thvgjp
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:44 am

I saw a woman at the Scranton airshow ask someone if they actually flew a C5 transport to the airshow that was on static display. Duh how else would they get it there?? Drive it??
 
houstondallas
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:48 am

A little off topic but funny still...

Years ago I was on a plant tour at a major airframer. I had been on this tour many a time since my pop worked there. Well, they were showing us a wing box/jig and explaining why they were applying epoxy to ensure it is leak proof. Tour guide goes on about how the wing is actually where all the fuel is stored. Some woman then blurted out "What happens if the wing falls off? Is there gas in both wings? Won't the plane run out of gas?..."
 
TWAL1011
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 12:14 pm

Don't know about dumbest, but I can tell you about nerve-racking...

Flight from PDX to PHX. This wacked out guy must have used the lav about 15 times on a 2-1/2 hour flight. He was wearing green sweat pants, a red shirt, and he looked only a half notch below insane. I couldn't wait for him to try something stupid so I could sack him.  Smile
 
DeltaRules
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:22 pm

I wasn't on this flight, but my aunt was, and she told me about it. I'm not sure how funny everybody will think it is, but I liked it!-

My aunt and one of her friends were flying non-stop CMH-PHX a couple of years ago on America West. The friend, who had never flown before, was nervous about going, which is understandable if you don't know what to expect. They taxi to the runway, and as they get on the runway, the friend starts wailing & praying to God (out loud) to "make sure it was a safe flight," etc. As the story goes, most of the plane turned around, or looked up to see what was going on with this hysterical woman and my aunt, who is now slumped in her seat, too embarrassed to do anything...

(The rest of the flight & the return trip were uneventful)

DeltaRules
A310/319/320/321/333, ARJ, BN2, B722/73S/733/734/735/73G/738/739/744/757/753/767/763/764/777, CR1/2/7/9, DH6, 328, EM2/ERJ/E70/E75/E90, F28/100, J31, L10/12/15, DC9/D93/D94/D95/M80/M88/M90/D10, SF3, SST
 
DeltaRules
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:31 pm

Ok, I've got another one. Again, I wasn't on this flight, but I was supposed to be, had it not been for a change of plans.

My Grandma and our cousin were going CMH-ATL a few years ago. My Grandma did most of her flying in the 3- and 4-engine aircraft era, but through me, had seen pictures of two-engined jets. Well, she was on a 757. About half way through the flight, she somewhat panicked, and said to my cousin "You mean this plane only has TWO ENGINES??" I guess she was thinking that two engines couldn't do it, but they made it to ATL safely, and without further incident.

I guess she felt better on the 2nd leg of the trip, which was ATL-SJU on an L-1011.

I wonder what she would have been thinking had she been on an MD-80...

DeltaRules
A310/319/320/321/333, ARJ, BN2, B722/73S/733/734/735/73G/738/739/744/757/753/767/763/764/777, CR1/2/7/9, DH6, 328, EM2/ERJ/E70/E75/E90, F28/100, J31, L10/12/15, DC9/D93/D94/D95/M80/M88/M90/D10, SF3, SST
 
HlywdCatft
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:59 pm

Well this isn't a stupid passenger story, but it is related to what the guy said about the DC-8 being a CRJ etc kind of thing.

Back in 1997 on my way to Spring Break in Florida, my buddy and I stopped at Cincinatti Covington CVG at the spotters area on the east side of the airport as is tradition every year driving from Detroit to Panama City to make that stop for lunch, go to Wendys take it to the Spotters area and eat and watch planes.

I was pointing out to my buddy a Comair Emb 120 and telling him about the one that crashed that year in Jan 1997 south of DTW. There were these two old couples that came together watching the planes parked right next to us. They overheard me telling my buddy about the DTW crash and thought I was talking about a plane that was going to crash or something because I over heard the old man say "Did you hear that, he said that some plane is gonna crash. We better leave"

I don't know where he thought that up that I could be psychic and know that a plane was going to crash, but I have never seen a bunch of Q-tips drive that fast out of somewhere in my life. It was a wierd trip, a lot of other strange and funny things happened on that drive down, but all others were non aviation related.
 
ABQ757
Posts: 269
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 3:53 pm

This isn't passenger related, it's airline employee/security gate attendant related. When I was coming back from LAX we stopped in DEN. We were pushing back from the gate at DEN on the DEN-ABQ leg and we had to go back, because one passenger had been left behind. The United gate agents had forgotten that he was being searched and let the plane leave without him.

Gabe
 
DL727-200adv
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 4:03 pm

I was on a DL 767-300 flying from CVG-ATL several years ago & the Captain came on the PA to give us an update on our eta & the weather at ATL. As soon as the captain says Atlanta this business guy several seats over in my row starts saying "Atlanta? What the f***? This flight is going to LAX right?" Everyone started looking at him funny & I remembered that at the same time we were boarding another DL 767-300 was boarding for LAX at the very next gate in the corner at the end of the concourse at CVG. This guy got in the wrong line & somehow got on the wrong flight & didn't realize it untill we were half way to ATL. The head flight attendant calmed him down assuring him that DL would make arrangements for him to catch an ATL-LAX flight when we arrived at ATL. I couldn't help thinking "what an idiot" as the FA's & captain had several times announced the flight number & destination prior to pushback & I guess the guy didn't catch on that he was on the wrong flight.

Around 8:00am on the morning of 9-11 as I was waiting to board DL571 at CVG (at a gate right across from the gates mentioned in the above earlier incident) a guy was telling his girlfriend (pointing to the 767-300 that was operating the flight) that it was a DC-10. I sure wish the guy's stupid comment had turned out to be the most memorable part of that flight & that day.

DL727-200adv
 
mikeclod
Posts: 270
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 4:43 pm

Overheard a guy at an airshow point out a B-1 and proceded to tell his wife all about the wonders of the F-16.
 
ammunition
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 5:06 pm

well...... i was flying back home from asia, and my granny had come along for a visit, we boarded the plane and the FA's came around with drinks e.t.c, which we drank, but then there were empty plastic cups, and she said open the window and throw them out. About 5 mins after, i think we had started to taxi towards the runway, and she said, ' have we taken off yet' or 'are we up yet', lol, i was laughing so much. she was quite old tho.
regards
Ammunition
Saint Augustine- 'The world is a book and those who do not travel, read only 1 page'
 
lmml 14/32
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:18 pm

An elderly couple were waiting for AirMalta flight 101 when this B737 taxied in from another flight and parked right infront of us in the viewing gallery. The lady asked the man if this was the flight and the man said:

"No, stupid, this is flight 737. It's written on the plane. Look !!" (Boeing 737 written on the cowl)


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On the same day a middle aged man and his mother were watching a plane climbing out. The woman was surprised at how high the plane was going but her son assured her that it will go lower as it passed the hill !!
 
a/c dxer
Posts: 363
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2001 10:52 pm

RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:32 pm

This is not a passenger story but I had two airplanes in MCO when one went to take off and lose a engine on his takeoff roll. So the captain brings the airplane back to the gate were I proceeded to call the gate agent that we were going to combine the flight but not to board the plane till I call her back and let her know how many people we can. Well about two minutes later I get a phone call from the captain and he tells me that the gate agent went ahead and loaded all the passengers into the one good plane in which case she got a very nastey phone call from me and we had to deplane the whole plane and do it all over again.
 
lmml 14/32
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:39 pm

I remember reading this story on the WEB. Following his Florida vacation this pap was complaining to his travel agent that he could not see the ocean from his Orlando hotel. The agent explained that the ocean is miles away from Orlando but the pap insisted that he still should have been able to see the ocean because Flosida is such a ....... "Narrow State" !!

This one must surely take the biscuit !!

Then there was another one who wanted to go to Pepsi-Cola on a Computer Jet. The travel agent was smart and booked her to Pensacola on a Commuter Jet.
 
artsyman
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 9:41 pm

When my girlfriend and I were in Hawaii recently, we were doing the Island hopping with Hawaiian airlines on the 717. There was a FA non revving with a few of her friends that were on her buddy passes or something. Anyways, she was being a total show-off about everything and prancing around like she owned the place. She then proceded to tell all her friends all about the aircraft we were on being a Boeing 737-800 series, and how it was this and that.... good ole 717 doesn't even remotely resemble a 738

If you don't know.... then don't pretend you do

Jer
 
lmml 14/32
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:04 pm

Then there was the Archbishop who was forgotten in the VIP lounge and "discovered" a few minutes after the aircraft had taken off. To my knowledge the plane did not turn back.
And, more recently, a coach full of pax was taken to the wrong aircraft - which was not going anywhere that day. Among the last pax to board was the Chairman of the airline himself !!
Both these incidents happened in Malta and to AirMalta.
 
jjbiv
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:18 pm

A/c dxer-

Why couldn't she go ahead and load her pax on the plane and then take the people from the disabled a/c? Just curious...

joe
 
airsicknessbag
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:21 pm

>>>"Atlanta? What the f***? This flight is going to LAX right?"

Sounds more like dumbest gate agent story.
Daniel Smile
 
a/c dxer
Posts: 363
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:43 pm

Because the airplane holds 119 people and she triedto put them all on the airplane and it was 737-200 with -9 engines in the middle of summer and performance wise we couldn't take that many people.
 
manni
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:02 am

A unshaven dirty looking passenger in a weelchair pushed by his 2 friend arrived at the aircraft door of an AA 767 to board a flight from BRU to ORD. The FA asked the young man in the weelchair what happened to him. He answered I just cale from Africa and I've got Ebola. The FA rushed into the cockpit and the Captain decided to ofload the bags of the man and his friends and leave them behind. Other passengers , who heard the conversation started worrying and the Captain had to come between to stop the unrest.

Note, the passenger was indeed connecting trough BRU from Africa but had an ankle broken.
SUPPORT THE LEBANESE CIVILIANS
 
Dazed767
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:15 am

This lady almost ruined my night. I was on an HP flight from PHX-LAS, and we were already late pushing back. This lady comes on with her dog in a carrier, and couldn't fit it under her seat, so she decided she was going to hold it. WRONG! The F/A's finally said she couldn't be on the flight without buying a seat for the dog, so she gets off (she's really ticked at this point). They hold the plane 20 mins, and finally she gets back on with the dog, and she bought it a seat. I think most of us were angry that they held the plane like that. Which made my almost miss my connection (last one for the night) to MCO. THey had the door shut to the gateway and almsot didn't let me on.
 
markk
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:55 am


I don't think this qualifies as dumb, but on a trip from IAH to PHX last summer I looked over at a guy with his head down and a gigantic strand of drool going from his mouth to his lap. We were in first class and had not even pushed back yet. Guess he was tired.
 
Night Hawk
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:56 am

I dont know if it qualifies for "dumbest passenger" but it would definitely go in with the "how to scare the sh** out of other passengers" pile.

A friend of mine was flying Qantas from Melbourne to Los Angeles on a QF 744. He's a regular traveler with a good knowledge of aviation. He was listening to the people sitting infront of them when one of the 2 (another regular traveler) looks out the window at the wings and how they are bending during turbulence. This guy looks at his friend (who's never flown before) and says "look at the wing, they're meant to bend a bit but this much is far from normal" The guy sat there for the next 10 mins white as a ghost until his mate finally tell's him it was normal for the wings to flex and bend the way they were.

Regards

Greg
 
Cody
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 1:57 am

An elderly couple once told us that we were not good pilots because we hit turbulence. At first I felt like defending myself, but then realized it wasn't worth the effort.
 
lmml 14/32
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 1:58 am

Greg, that reminds me of another one. A pap asks this FA show the pilot finds his way in the dark. The Fa answers that as long as we are between "those lights out there" we are OK. The FA was referring to the white wing tip lights of a B737.
The pap seemed surprised but happy with the answer.
 
drewwright
Posts: 530
Joined: Tue May 15, 2001 3:51 am

RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 2:23 am

I was on a flight a few years ago from DFW-SLC, an AA MD-80, when we ran into the typical Rocky Mountain turbulence. The captain made his annoucement and the seat belt sign went on. No big deal I thought. Well a few minutes later a elderly gentleman got up out of his seat and hobbled his way to the bathroom by the aft galley. Still no big deal right. Well about this time the old man got into the lav we started getting jostled pretty good. The kinda turbulence that spills drinks etc. Then the strangest sound started coming from the lav. Bang, Bang Thud Bang Thud. This continued for about 3 or 4 minutes. Finally the banging stopped and the door to the lav opened to reveal a old man with a bloody noise and a flask of alcohol (I assume). I guess the old man was pretty toasted and kept losing his footing in the turbulence. Banging around in there like a pinball.
 
CF-CPI
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 3:04 am

A couple of good ones off the top of my head:

I was at ATL in the departure lounge waiting to board my DL L-1011 (sigh) to LAX. The ship was registered N727DA. I overheard a dad telling his kid, "Oh look, it's a 727, it says so on the tail!".

The second one occurred on an Air Inter A300. An elderly lady was seated across the aisle from me. After eating her lunch (bless the French, who are going to eat well, even on a one hour hop), she proceeded to stow her tray table ..... the problem was, her tray was still on it! The whole mess tumbled onto the floor, and a racket ensued, not only from the glassware and wine bottle, but from the f/a who couldn't believe what she was seeing. To this day I have no idea what caused 'grandemere' to precipitate this drama, though 'le vin rouge' is a good suspect.
 
GARUDAROD
Posts: 1136
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 4:39 am

RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 4:58 am

Several years ago when GARUDA still flew to the
USA, we had a backpacker type stick his foot through
a vent and loose his shoe. Then he had the
idioticity to file a claim with us because we lost his
shoe!!!!!!
Cargo doesn't whine, moan, or complain
 
727LOVER
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 5:41 am

Back in 1986 I think, I was at MCO and this woman and her daughter were watching a People Express 727-200 taking of for Newark. The daughter says to the mother, "See how fast the plane is going now? That's how fast it goes all the way to Newark!"

Oh boy!!!
Love Trumps Hate
 
FredT
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 8:44 am

LMML, best explanation of aerial navigation I've heard - I'll make sure to remember that one! Big grin

Here's a typical charter pax to the Med, arriving at the gate five minutes after last boarding call since they HAD to down a last drink in the airport bar:

"Uuuuh... passport... I think it's in my suitcase.... Yeah, I sent that off. You mean I need it here?... the color o the suitcase? I think it is red... or blue... or maybe green..."

Also called the "how to delay a flight by an hour and make sure the handlers don't get any lunch" routine. I often wished for them to be called down to look for their bags. I won't mention why as it probably would be illegal.  Big grin

Cheers,
Fred
I thought I was doing good trying to avoid those airport hotels... and look at me now.
 
covert
Posts: 1500
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2001 1:02 am

RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 9:52 am

on wednesday when i took nw 67 to detroit, this white guy from a small town around knoxville tennesee, sits next to me and tells me that he bought a 4 day airplane ticket just to go to ansterdam and smoke weed legally...

quite a character, isnt he?
none
 
DTW/ORD Fan!
Topic Author
Posts: 282
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2001 4:44 am

RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 10:01 am

Covert: and you wonder WHY Northwest and Detroit have 4-5 daily Amsterdam flights???  Big grin heh.
These are some funny ones!
I remember once spotting at the GRR (Grand Rapids, MI)
viewing area before they closed it after 9-11, a father and his two sons were looking at a CoEx Emb145 from Newark taxi off the runway, to the gate area. The son exclaims "dad! That one is HUGE!!" pointing at the CoEx 145, and the father begins to explain all there is to know about the Airbus A320.
It never stops bein funny.............
 
CB777
Posts: 1135
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 1999 8:13 am

RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:26 pm

Here's a couple I got while checking paxs in:

This one lady she must have been in her early 40's, she asked me to give her a safe seat, so if the airplane goes down she will live.


Another one was this guy was checking in for his flight, he asked me if this was a bus. I go to him "sir your at an airport, your flying on an airplane". This guy freaked out, he is like I am not traveling on an airplane, my brother told me this was a bus service, so he was like what kind of service is this, and he left the airport.


CB777
 
concorde1518
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RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:28 pm

I was on a Southwest flight, when a man decides that it's time to get up and get his bag after landing. We were still on the runway doing about 40 knots getting close to the nearest high-speed turnoff. The guy gets his bag and sits down, leaving the overhead bin open, all while a flight attendant is about 3 rows behind him. After it was safe, the flight attendant stormed over, saying in a pissed voice "Sir, you're going to have to put that away." She grabbed the bag, and put it in the bin and closed it. The whole cabin laughed/clapped, but the guy was so stupid/drunk, he didnt care/realize. After the flight, he decided to get up and leave before anyone gets up. The whole cabin cuts him off, making him the last person or so to get off.
 
Guest

RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 9:57 pm

a) At Newark in March 96 preparing to board my Air South 737-200 I hear a man tell his wife "We're on a old Air South DC-10."

b) I went with a crew from my C-21 squadron to a air show in Trenton, Canada. One of my duties was to stay with the plane while the pilots go wandering about for hours while I was left with the keys to the plane and to answer all those questions like " Are those missiles on the wings?" referring to the Tip Tanks on the Lear 35!
 
garuda
Posts: 573
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2000 10:53 pm

RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!

Sun Mar 10, 2002 10:26 pm

Last July, on board GA's A333 from BNE to DPS, I was having a conversation with two gentlemen from Brisbane, next to the galley, around door 2R.... They drank a lot of liquor, even one of them brought his own bottle aboard. None of them were drunk, though......

There was a junior stewardess who was inside the galley, and when she saw my 2 colleagues drank, she said to me in Indonesian," Can you please ask your friends to go back to their seats. I'm affraid that once they drunk, they will open the door....."

I know that the door cannot be opened in flight, but rather than argued to her, I complied with her request..

LOL!!

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