Guest

Hey, Rootsgirl! Ex WG Mama!

Wed Aug 28, 2002 2:39 am

Rootsgirl, after you pointed out to me that, at WG, we (FA's) had the "blanket and 02 mask" procedure for dead passengers, I told you I would go back to my old WG FA manual and check it out. This is what I found:

Worldways Canada Ltd. Dead Pax Procedures:

1. Try and coerce another Flight Attendant (one you despise) to answer that
urgent call button, once you realize the "gist" of the situation after
hearing pax cry out: "She's DEAD! Oh Mother of GOD!". This is not a good
sign.

2. If other F/A not around, reluctlantly approach seat with fingers in your
mouth and eyes wide open. (incidentally, this may be the physical state
you find the deceased pax in).

3. Refrain from screaming and running down the aisle to the rear galley.

4. Offer dead pax coffee/drink/hot towel/duty free. If no reply, you may
confirm on-board death.

5. At this point, it is permitted to walk quickly (do not run) to the nearest
galley, where galley hag will pour you a "stiff" one to calm your nerves.

6. Get on the P.A., and calmy, repeat CALMLY ask if there is a (in order
of importance):
a. Certified medical physician
b. Certified nurse
c. Medical student
d. Veterinarian
e. Gynecologist
f. Funeral home director
g. Home Shopping Network employee.

7. If doctor (or one of the above) is on-board, breathe a sigh of relief,
stay in the galley, close the curtains, and heat up your crew meal.
After all, let THEM deal with it.

8. If none of the above are on-board, you will no doubt think to yourself:
"Shit. Now what am I gonna do?". You then grab blankee from bin,
and spare portable 02 mask, and proceed to dead pax seat, where you
smile your winning smile while applying said items on body. Offer the
dead pax surviving spouse/family member/friend the duty free brochure to peruse, to distract them and ease their grief.

9. After prepping the dead pax, return to Galley, where your crew meal
is now ready for consumption. Fill out incident report. If death of
pax occurred BEFORE meal service, battle it out with your fellow crew
members as to WHO is gonna get that now extra meal.

10. Ensure you contact the in-charge FA, and notify him/her NOT to run
the in-flight video, "Death Becomes Her", starring Goldie Hawn and
Meryl Streep.

11. And finally, remember, you did ALL you could possibly do. Go the lav,
re-apply your make-up, straighten your uniform blouse, and think of
all the great shopping awaiting you on in your layover destination!!

But seriously.....You were right, re on-board dead pax procedures. Luckily,
I never encountered this. And I can just hear you on-board your SV flight,
scanning the elderly pax boarding your aircraft, and you, staring at them,
and saying to yourself, "You're not gonna die on MY flight, honey!".

Anyway, YOU were correct, and I was incorrect. I bow to your wisdom.

Happy Flying, Mama!
Canadi>nBoy
YYZ

 
AmtrakGuy
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 1999 11:25 am

RE: Hey, Rootsgirl! Ex WG Mama!

Wed Aug 28, 2002 3:28 am

LOL..I love it!!

Dave
 
janne
Posts: 367
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2001 4:37 am

RE: Hey, Rootsgirl! Ex WG Mama!

Wed Aug 28, 2002 3:51 am

My suggestions for a F/A with a dead passenger on hand would be:

1. Check the food served (are there like another 50-100 dead passengers).
2. Check the inflight movie shown (was it one of the "Death Wish" movies?)
It might have inspired a want-to-be-vigilante.
3. Doublecheck that the inflight movie wasn't a Doris Day film.
4. Check the booze served on board (is that really brand names or did your
airline buy some cheap bootleg stuff?).
5. Check out the captain that he is not a wellknown serial killer (you never
know).

As a last resort let the prettiest F/A approach the passenger and ask him
"Coffe, Tea or me". If there is no reaction, you've got a corpse to deal with.
(sorry, don't know the correct procedures if the desceased was a lady).

 
AWspicious
Posts: 2780
Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2001 7:47 am

RE: Hey, Rootsgirl! Ex WG Mama!

Wed Aug 28, 2002 2:58 pm

HA HA! Canadi>nBoy! You've just been added to my list of most comical A.net members.
Unpleasant for the flight attendants. How would it be for the passenger(s) seated beside the newly deceased individual. I mean, what does one say in a situation like that?! "Guess you won't be needing those frequent flyer miles" ???

aw
Nevermind political correctness - Envision using your turn signals!

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