We're Nuts
Topic Author
Posts: 4723
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2000 6:12 am

'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Wed Dec 18, 2002 8:29 am

Enjoy!  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,

Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.

The aircraft were fastened to tiedowns with care,

In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.

The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,

With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.

I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,

And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.

When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,

I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.

A voice clearly heard over static and snow,

Called for clearance to land at the airport below.

He barked his transmission so lively and quick,

I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".

I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,

The better to welcome this magical flight.

He called his position, no room for denial,

"St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final."

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!

With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,

As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:

"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!

On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he takin'?

While controllers were sittin', and scratchin' their head,

They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,

The message they left was both urgent and dour:

"When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower."

He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,

Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."

He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh

And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho..."

He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,

I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.

His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost

And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.

His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,

And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn't inhale.

His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,

His boots were as black as a cropduster's belly.

He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,

And he asked me to "fill it, with hundred low-lead."

He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,

I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,

And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.

He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,

Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.

And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,

These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.

He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,

Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!"

And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,

He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.

"Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,

Turn right three-two-zero at pilot's discretion"

He sped down the runway, the best of the best,

"Your traffic's a Grumman, inbound from the west."

Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,

"Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight."
Dear moderators: No.
Posts: 11880
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2001 12:01 am

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Wed Dec 18, 2002 8:55 am

Rofl, whoever made that up has way too much time on their hands (was it KROC?) Big grin
Posts: 894
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2001 7:33 am

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Wed Dec 18, 2002 10:03 am

Very Creative.  Laugh out loud  Laugh out loud

AA - Doing what we do best.
Posts: 68
Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2003 6:54 am

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Wed Dec 18, 2002 10:11 am

Nicely done. Creative and with a nice ring to it.  Big thumbs up Funny too.

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Wed Dec 18, 2002 10:34 am

I need to find my copy of "Twas the Nachtomi Before Christmas" about Tower Air....

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Wed Dec 18, 2002 11:03 am

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the Hub
Passengers were running
bypassing the overpriced pub

Running with fear,others getting out of the way
As they dash hurriedly
For their 35 seat CRJ

To the gate they arrive
At Last they are done
only to learn sadly
It's only the start of the fun

Flight 5595, nonstop to Toledo
Not going tonight, should have stayed in Escondido
Rush to Customer Service, Yes they will help them on their way
but all flights east are cancelled due to weather today

All night long, stranded among the lost
Should have flown the other guys
Whatever the cost

Sleep at Gate 44, Oh what a thought
But the snow will end tonight
New tickets will not be bought
As we sleep with fright

Morning arrives, all is sunny
The jets are humming
Like the Ever Ready Bunny

To Toledo, To Flint
All board with delight
12 Hours at the HUB
The little jets takeoff with all their might

Runway twenty-two
A long black road
Will point Us to our delvierance
We, the tired hungry Load

The flight ends quickly, way faster than most
Quickly to the concourse, as fast as the CRJ will coast
"We've made it!" as all the pax exlcaim
The passengers run off swifly
Now to Baggage Claim...........

Posts: 6525
Joined: Thu May 30, 2002 9:30 am

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Wed Dec 18, 2002 11:36 am

We're Nuts.

That is SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!
We're Nuts
Topic Author
Posts: 4723
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2000 6:12 am

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Thu Dec 19, 2002 4:13 pm

Glad you liked it. It was sent to my E-Mail, so unfortunately the author remains anonymous.

I thought it deserved points for creativity.
Dear moderators: No.
Posts: 2802
Joined: Sat Jul 01, 2000 1:02 pm

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Fri Dec 20, 2002 8:44 am

Here's another one that Southwest Airlines sometimes uses for their inflight PA's at Christmas time.

At this time we would like to review your safety card;
Please direct your attention to the flight attendant in your area.

'Twas __ days before Christmas on this Southwest aircraft
All the customers were stowing, both forward and aft.

The oxygen masks were all hung up with care;
If lack of oxygen occurred, they would be readily there.
You would grab at the mask, pull it down to your face;
Over the nose and mouth, the strap keeps it in place.

The seatbelts were snug around everyone's lap;
Flat metal end into the buckle, now pull on the strap.
To release the belt, lift the buckle upright,
Then you can get up if we have a smooth flight.

Well what if all of a sudden there arose such a clatter;
We would spring from our seats to see what's the matter...
Two forward emergency door exits on the left and the right;
Two overwing exits, don't push and don't fight.

If those exits aren't accessible for you;
Then quick to the back, there are two exit doors there, too.
To help find your way out to an exit door
Red and White emergency lights are right there on the floor.

When what to our wondering eyes does appear?
We landed on water, but no - never fear...
Just pull up on the seat cushion and hold to it tight
It will keep you afloat all day and all night.

Now everyone listen and do as I say;
Put your seatbacks upright, and your tray tables away.
Observe seatbelt/no smoking signs whenever they're lit
And we'll have no trouble... no, not a bit.

On Flight # ____, Captain ____'s in command;
He/She's a heck of a pilot, with a real steady hand.
And sitting in the seat, off to his/her right;
It's First Officer ____, his/her partner tonight.

And back in the cabin, what have we here?
Why it's (Flight Attendant names) not eight tiny reindeer.
Now sit back in your seats, and we'll serve you up right...
Until then, Merry Christmas and to all a good flight.


Posts: 3201
Joined: Sun May 13, 2001 4:35 pm

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Fri Dec 20, 2002 9:22 am

Those were great guys!

Were Nuts,

Creative indeed! and Hilarious!!!  Big thumbs up
Its better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air than be in the air wishing you were on the ground. Fly safe!
Posts: 2780
Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2001 7:47 am

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Fri Dec 20, 2002 9:46 am

Good stuff! Let's see some more  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Nevermind political correctness - Envision using your turn signals!
AA 777
Posts: 707
Joined: Thu May 30, 2002 9:34 am

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Sat Dec 21, 2002 4:56 am

They are great!

AA 777
CRJ-700 FO
Posts: 3484
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 11:43 am

RE: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Sat Dec 21, 2002 5:06 am

And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.

hahahahahahaha that is funny and gross.

Never Trust Your Fuel Gauge

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