mas a330
Posts: 1476
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2000 11:12 pm

Aviation Jokes!

Sat Jan 04, 2003 3:32 am

OK, here goes:

Passengers on a MAS flight heard
this announcement from the captain:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to
inform you that we have lost power to
all of our engines and will shortly
crash into the ocean"

The passengers were obviously very worried about
this situation but were somewhat
comforted by the captain's next announcement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at MAS have prepared for
such an emergency and we would now
like you to rearrange your seating so that
all the non-swimmers are on the left
side of the plane and all the swimmers
are on the right side of the plane"

After this announcement all the passengers
rearranged their seating to comply with the
captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made a
belly landing in the ocean.

The captain once again made an announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the
ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the
plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim
away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the
left side of the plane,

THANK YOU FOR FLYING MAS."

+++++++++

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my
crew. I'd like to
welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from
New York to London.

We are currently flying a height of 35,000 feet midway
across the Atlantic.

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard
side of the aircraft, you will observe that b
oth the starboard engines are on fire. If you look
out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that
the port wing has fallen off.

"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you
will see a little yellow life raft with three
people in it waving at you. That's me your
captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air
stewardesses. This is a recorded message."

++++++++

 Smile
 
sydneysider
Posts: 188
Joined: Wed Jun 21, 2000 12:01 pm

RE: Aviation Jokes!

Sat Jan 04, 2003 3:42 am

Ok, but it´s an old one:

------------------
Pilot (on final, on a dark night , is switching off the landing lights): "Tower, guess who´s coming now?"

Controller (switching off runway lights): "Don´t know, but guess where we are!"

------------------
Old but still funny

Good night to everyone

Christian
 
shankly
Posts: 1269
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2000 10:42 pm

RE: Aviation Jokes!

Sat Jan 04, 2003 3:53 am

Apparently true on a flight some time in the early 1990's:

After the long 27 hour slog from London, the BA 747 finally touched down in Auckland.

As the jet cleared the runway, the captain came on the PA:

"Good morning ladies and gentleman; as you can see the weather if fine, 68 degrees with a gentle breeze from the East. Thank you for choosing to fly BA and we hope you enjoyed your flight and we will see you again in the near future. The local time here in New Zealand is Nineteen Sixty One."
L1011 - P F M
 
boeing764
Posts: 262
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2001 7:24 am

RE: Aviation Jokes!

Sat Jan 04, 2003 9:02 am

What's the difference between a Pilot and God?

God doesn't think he's a pilot!
From Dr. King's America to Nelson Mandela's Africa, the journey of equality moves on.

Popular Searches On Airliners.net

Top Photos of Last:   24 Hours  •  48 Hours  •  7 Days  •  30 Days  •  180 Days  •  365 Days  •  All Time

Military Aircraft Every type from fighters to helicopters from air forces around the globe

Classic Airliners Props and jets from the good old days

Flight Decks Views from inside the cockpit

Aircraft Cabins Passenger cabin shots showing seat arrangements as well as cargo aircraft interior

Cargo Aircraft Pictures of great freighter aircraft

Government Aircraft Aircraft flying government officials

Helicopters Our large helicopter section. Both military and civil versions

Blimps / Airships Everything from the Goodyear blimp to the Zeppelin

Night Photos Beautiful shots taken while the sun is below the horizon

Accidents Accident, incident and crash related photos

Air to Air Photos taken by airborne photographers of airborne aircraft

Special Paint Schemes Aircraft painted in beautiful and original liveries

Airport Overviews Airport overviews from the air or ground

Tails and Winglets Tail and Winglet closeups with beautiful airline logos