bigphilnyc
Posts: 3874
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2002 10:43 pm

Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:14 am

"In the event of a water landing, use your seat as a floatation device."

I think that's hysterical becuase if you land it he water, the only thing your yellow seat cushion will do is let the search party find your body.

On that cheerful note, lol, what are some other catch phrases or one-liners that pertain to the industry? You know, those "Seat i the upright position" kinda things. Funny ones are good too.  Smile

-Phil
Phil Derner Jr.
 
goboeing
Posts: 2428
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2000 5:31 am

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:23 am

If you show me your static port, I'll show you my pitot tube!
 
futureualpilot
Posts: 2402
Joined: Thu May 25, 2000 10:52 am

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:43 am

I hold nothing against anyone, these are j
ust things Ive heard over the years:

A good landing is one you walk away from, and great landing is one when you can re-use the equipment!

How do you know when you are talking to a jet pilot? He(or she) will tell you!

When talking to a pilot, dont ask of they fly jets, if they do they'll tell you and if not, dont humiliate them!

When the last Blackhawk goes to the boneyard it will be on a sling under a Huey!

1 grease landing is luck and skill, 2 is pure luck, 3 in a row and somebody is lying.

Its better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here

The most useless things to a pilot are:
Fuel in the truck
Airspeed you dont have
Altitude above you


You start flying with an empty bag of experience and a full bag of luck. The trick is to fill your bag of experience before you empty your bag of luck.

When talking to a pilot decrease the speeds they give you by 10%. When talking to a Navy pilot decrease by 30%.


The time you have to connect is inversly proportional to the number of children and baggage you have.

The temperature of the coffee is directly proportional to the strength of the turbulence.

Pilot error: the NTSB's way of covering thier own arse when they cant find the true cause of the accident

If God had ment man to fly he would have given him a bigger wallet.

A night carrier landing is a good chance to experience a great orgasim, a good crap and an adrenaline rush all rolled into one


A helicopter is nothing but 10,000 parts all trying to fly in seperate directions


2 similartiies between ATC and pilots:
If the pilot screws up, the pilot dies
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies


Whats the difference between flying in the daytime and in the night?
Nothing, except at night you cant see squat!

1 grease landing will make up for 10 crappy ones


Life is better when you surf.
 
meister808
Posts: 924
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2000 11:45 am

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Mon Oct 06, 2003 3:33 pm

Holy crap, those are funny.

-Meister
Twin Cessna 812 Victor, Minneapolis Center, we observe your operation in the immediate vicinity of extreme precipitation
 
KateAV8
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:02 am

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Mon Oct 06, 2003 4:09 pm

My flight instructor told me this one:

What's the difference between a pilot and God?

God doesn't think He's a pilot.

 Laugh out loud





The only justification for looking down on someone is to help them up
 
haanz
Posts: 170
Joined: Wed May 10, 2000 7:49 pm

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Mon Oct 06, 2003 4:13 pm

Helicopters can't fly. They're just so ugly the earth repels them.
 
KateAV8
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:02 am

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Mon Oct 06, 2003 4:19 pm

HaanZ that's a good one! Hehehehhhhhh...  Big thumbs up
The only justification for looking down on someone is to help them up
 
Guest

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Mon Oct 06, 2003 4:21 pm

What's the difference between a pilot and a jet engine? Eventually the engine stops whining!
 
VH-KCT*
Posts: 435
Joined: Fri May 04, 2001 4:01 pm

RE:Aviation Jokes

Mon Oct 06, 2003 4:21 pm

Captain: "Yaw Damper"
Co-Pilot: "My Damper?"

Captain: "Feather 1 Engine"
Co-Pilot: "Which one?"

Captain: "Cheer Up!"
Co-Pilot raises gear

ATC: "Say Level"
Captain: "Level"


And seen on Maintenance Release:

Pilot: Evidence of oil leak
Engineer: Evidence removed

Pilot: Autoland Unserviceable
Engineer: No autoland installed on aircraft

Pilot: Plane flying funny
Engineer: Plane given good talking to and told to get serious

Pilot: No. 2 engine missing (meaning unserviceable)
Engineer: No. 2 engine found after brief search
I am The Stig
 
Guest

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Tue Oct 07, 2003 8:26 am

I always liked:

"if it has wings or a skirt you can't afford it"

sort of my life story condensed to one line
 
FedExDC-10
Posts: 183
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2000 7:53 am

RE: Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases

Tue Oct 07, 2003 8:36 am

VH-KCT:

Adding to your "Say level:"

ATC: Say Heading
Captain: Heading
ATC: Say cancel IFR
Captain's immediate response: FL___ and heading ___

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