MEA321
Topic Author
Posts: 381
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:28 am

Pilot Gripes (Very Funny)

Wed Mar 10, 2004 6:11 am

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and
correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of
the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe
sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems as submitted by Quanta's pilots and the solution recorded by
maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

MEA321  Laugh out loud
MEA321
 
707CMF
Posts: 4698
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2002 5:39 pm

RE: Pilot Gripes (Very Funny)

Wed Mar 10, 2004 6:15 am

. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems as submitted by Quanta's


Last time I read that one (in jan or feb in the forums ?), Qantas was already spelled with a u. However, it still had an S...

Well, I've read that same 'actual' log from Air France, British...

Was funny the first 10 times

707
 
Regis
Posts: 281
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2004 6:49 am

RE: Pilot Gripes (Very Funny)

Wed Mar 10, 2004 6:16 am

Has been posted here before. I think that the conclusion at that time was that it was phony.
 
caetravlr
Posts: 858
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2000 8:19 am

RE: Pilot Gripes (Very Funny)

Wed Mar 10, 2004 6:27 am

The guy that sits next to me has the same thing posted outside his cubicle, except it is listed as Air Force listings, not airline. There seem to be many iterations of it. However, it is pretty funny.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't have the decency to thank her. - W.C. Fields
 
wing
Posts: 1357
Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2000 9:10 pm

RE: Pilot Gripes (Very Funny)

Wed Mar 10, 2004 3:09 pm

The reason that you see it as Airforce compalaints in some places and airlines pilots complaints in other places is because they are only intented to have some fun and they are not real.I am sure there is no line mechanic "has guts "to right down such sill things to an official airline document,especially after a captain wrote something serious.
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