Bofredrik
Topic Author
Posts: 1133
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 1999 4:17 pm

5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:06 am

1. "Do you want more russian caviar, S I R ?"

2. "I hope you enjoy travelling on the Air Force One, S I R?"

3. "Do you want me to massage your feet on this long flight?"

4. "It IS a lot of turbulence. Do you want me to hold your hand"?

5. "Are you married?"

Any more questions you want to suggest?

[Edited 2004-03-31 18:07:49]
 
xjramper
Posts: 2318
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2003 1:10 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:08 am

lol...nice list BoFred. I can add one more thing to it:

Would you like my phone number, e-mail address, and my flight schedule so you know when I am off?

XJR
Look ma' no hands!
 
Refueler1974
Posts: 227
Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2004 8:15 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:11 am

After a late night flight :

"Would like to meet me at the hotel after the flight for a drink?"

Well...it would be nice...esp if she is one of those gorgeous FAs......LOL  Smile
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
 
MYT332
Posts: 7285
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:13 am

Tea coffee, BJ?
.................
One Life, Live it.
 
Refueler1974
Posts: 227
Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2004 8:15 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:15 am

The CLASSIC :

"Coffee, Tea, or ME?"

We have WAY too much time on our hands........LOL
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
 
xjramper
Posts: 2318
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2003 1:10 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:20 am

But refueler, its time spent well  Wink/being sarcastic

XJR
Look ma' no hands!
 
SpeedbirdHeavy
Posts: 414
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 3:39 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:22 am

"Would you please stop calling me a Stewardess? I'm a Flight Attendant."
China Airlines...Come fry with us!
 
tristarenvy
Posts: 2235
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:07 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:26 am

"Ever so sorry, but we have bumped you up to first class to fill a seat because Miss April 2004 needed someone to talk to...."

or.....


"Thank you for flying Southwest.......That is all." (click)


No offense meant to ya'll Southwest folks  Smile



[Edited 2004-03-31 18:28:02]
If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
 
Refueler1974
Posts: 227
Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2004 8:15 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:28 am

SpeedbirdHeavy has a good point...they are called Flight Attendants now......
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
 
kaitak
Posts: 9033
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 1999 5:49 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:29 am

"Of course the captain will be delighted to let you take the jump seat for landing. We won't tell the CAA/TSA/FAA etc. if you won't."
 
SQ25J
Posts: 253
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:26 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:31 am

Just curious...have noticed this and other posts refer to, "stewardess", I thought they no longer exist and are now either "flight attendants" or "cabin attendants", are there any airlines that officially still use the term "stewardess"?
 
RareBear
Posts: 540
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 4:11 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:54 am

The term "stewardess" is no longer PC. With the numbers of male F/As increasing, the term faded into oblivion. However, some of us old-timers catch ourselves still using it.
Illegitimus non carborundum
 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 3:13 am

In Sweden the male nurses are called "sjuksköterska" (feminine). They don't seem to be offended. And I don't care if you call me peddler of software or Sales Engineer.

I (and many others) do try to call them Flight Attendants. But I hope they won't kill me if I sometimes say "Stewardess". After all, I would call the males "Stewards".

I have never really understood what is so demeaning about the title. IMHO, Steward and Stewardess are much more refined and elegant descriptions than "Flight Attendant". If I was in the profession I would be proud of the title "Steward." A steward/stewardess is someone who is in charge of something. Flight Attendant just sounds like a glorified waiter to me.

SQ25J. Yes there are:
http://www.thaiair.info/tips/h10l2e.htm
http://www.singaporeair.com/saa/app/saa?dynamic=CabinCrewAppointments/CabinCrew.html


But that's just my opinion. Let the flames begin.

[Edited 2004-03-31 19:15:50]

[Edited 2004-03-31 19:16:11]
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
Iberia340600
Posts: 758
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2003 5:57 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 3:46 am

Wow I am suprised nobody has said this one yet!

"Would you like to join the mile high club sir?"

Of course...assuming she is hot  Big grin
Visca Barça!!
 
airsicknessbag
Posts: 4626
Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2000 2:45 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 3:56 am


Regarding the stewardess vs. flight attendant thing, here´s an actual dialogue I recently had with a stewardess:

"So, what would you rather be called, 'stewardess' or 'flight attendant'?"

"'Stewardess'. 'Flight attendant' sounds so artificial, so boring and unsexy."


So, they´re definitely "steward(esse)s" in my book. PC is crap anyway.

Daniel Smile
 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:11 am

PC is crap anyway.

No kidding. You can't even compliment women (or men for that matter) about how they look for fear of being accused of harassment. I would have thought that most of them enjoy it.

PC is replacing better things like etiquette and acting like an adult.

But I digress...

[Edited 2004-03-31 20:11:40]
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
Guest

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:19 am

"Please follow me - the captain would like to have you on the flight deck"
 Big thumbs up

This is the sentence I want to hear - all private things can be arranged after the flight  Insane

 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:20 am

Spotterboy, do you have any idea how sexual that sounds in English?

LOL Big grin
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
Kempa
Posts: 364
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2003 2:47 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:41 am

On some airlines, I would really like to hear:

"Welcome!"

and

"Thank You!"
 
Spike
Posts: 1110
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 1:08 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:41 am

Stewardess in economy and a hostie in first. That was the diffence. Now we get gay Gavin in coach serving you, whilst grandma 'flight attendant' in premium is gonna ignore you as soon as she can lower the blinds and retire.

The A380 will work just on this principal. The (big bus) Coach.



 
JuniorSpotter
Posts: 202
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:24 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:57 am

Fredrik...härmapa.  Big grin

5 - Of course we can arrange a jumpseat for you.
4 - Freshen you drink, governor?
3 - How do you like your nuts?
2 - *mumble, mumble* Mmmm...
1 - What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?

Oh...naughty me. I oughta be ashamed!  Laugh out loud



Nighty!
/Danny

[Edited 2004-03-31 20:58:00]
If something can go wrong, it will.
 
bobb
Posts: 241
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2004 12:15 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:03 am

u folks haven't flown lately have you?  Smile With all the furloughs, the only FA left are the 40 years old with tons of seniority.

I'd say "uh, No thanks Grandma."  Acting devilish
 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:23 am

Next time, choose a South East Asian airline.

As Neal Stephenson (my favorite writer) so aptly put it: "South East Asian airlines must a some hatch in the back of the plane where they eject stewardesses on the day they turn twenty-five."
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
Spike
Posts: 1110
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 1:08 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:40 am

Starlionblue: That's got to be an Indonesian airline.
 
dantiger
Posts: 80
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 12:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...

Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:53 am

Cool. How about those male FA's?
 
Kempa
Posts: 364
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2003 2:47 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:02 am

Those male FA's?

I would like them to say:

"Welcome to ABCDE Airlines, I hope you enjoy the flight"
"What would you like to drink?"
"Chicken or beef?"
"Coffee, sir?"
"Thanks for flying with us!"
 
mandala499
Posts: 6460
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2001 8:47 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:17 am

Well... These are what some of them has said to me before...

1. Having my name called while boarding in the following manner: The girl runs up to me, calls my name, and gives me a huge hug and kiss.

2. "Here's my flight schedule so you know where I am and when I am off?"

3. "I'm staying at this hotel..."

4. "Dinner? Sure..."

5. "Please follow me - the captain would like to have you on the flight deck"

OK guys, don't get it out of context though...

On case #1, I'd marry her anyday, but it didn't go on beyond dinner unfortunately... *DANG!* And she got a good scolding from her purser! bwahahahahahaha....

Anyways, Back to the fun things...

5 things I WISH...

1. "It's morning..."
2. "My underwear matches my uniform..."
3. "Why don't I stock up the drinks from the Galley for the hotel room later?"
4. "Sorry to spill your drink allover, can I make it up to you when we arrive?"
5. "I need help in inspecting the toilet..."

Bwahahahaha... I hope my stewardess friends NEVER visit this place!

Spike, We no longer eject them after reaching 25. Now they're on 3 yr contracts, and can continue till retirement. I flew Kartika Air a couple of years back, spent quite a bit with this F/A... later I found out she was 40... Damn, she can pass as my younger sister anyday... How the hell???? Bwahahahaha...

Mandala499

[Edited 2004-03-31 22:21:13]
When losing situational awareness, pray Cumulus Granitus isn't nearby !
 
G-CIVP
Posts: 1468
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 6:38 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:20 am

I think were the readers of this board are concerned, it's more likely to be "got any cream for your acne? If not, would you like some?".
 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:31 am

LOL G-CIVP!!! Big grin
.
.
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
dutchjet
Posts: 7714
Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2000 6:13 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:46 am

I would settle for:

"Good afternoon, we have reassigned you from seat 47B to 2A in our First Class cabin, have a pleasant flight."

"Why dont you have the chicken AND the beef?"

"The drinks are on us today!"

"We found you a seat where the IFE actually works properly."

"Dont worry about your connection, we will take you directly to your final destination today, I dont think that the other 200 pax on board will mind a small diversion."

OK, I have lost my mind.
 
User avatar
solnabo
Posts: 5025
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:53 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:50 am

Starlionblue:
Can you say "sjuksköterska"? Its vey hard for english speaking to say it right, or for any forigner!! Sju sjösjuka sjuksköterskor....*LOL*
(wish they had microphone and speakers on a.net)
Cheers  Big thumbs up

Michael//SE
Airbus SAS - Love them both
 
Alessandro
Posts: 4962
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2001 3:13 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:53 am

Please fasten your seatbelt, we´re landing
ór there more space over there, would you like to sit in the empty row?
From New Yorqatar to Califarbia...
 
CRFLY
Posts: 175
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2004 12:06 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:59 am

It Cracked me up when the Cathay Pacific female F/A saw my friend having some trouble with his fork and asked him in very bad English "wou' you like anothe' fuc" instead of fork... very funny... Everytime she was walking through the aisle I smiled at here... LOL
With Age comes Wisdom...
 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:44 am

Solnabo, I was born in Stockholm and have lived there about 25 years. I am also a Swedish citizen. So yes I can pronounce sjuksköterska pretty well  Big grin

I have the Union Jack on my profile since I live in London. Soon to be replaced by the Star Spangled Banner!
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
SlamClick
Posts: 9576
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2003 7:09 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:55 am

Obviously not a lot of non-rev commuters on this forum.
Here they are in order of preference.

  1. Looks like there is a seat in first class.

  2. Looks like there is an open row in coach.

  3. Looks like there is an open seat.

  4. Looks like there is an open seat in the lav.

  5. Your bag should fit right here.

  6. I saved you a blanket and pillow.

  7. I think I have a first class meal left over.

  8. I think I have a snack left over

  9. Wakey wakey! We're landing.

  10. Bye bye, have a nice time at home.



Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
 
User avatar
solnabo
Posts: 5025
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:53 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 9:32 am

Starlionblue:
That move wont be that long, as they say: England is US 51st state....
No offence, hope you find a nice swedish sjuksköterska over there  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Ha det bra!

Michael//SE
Airbus SAS - Love them both
 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:59 pm

Although the Brits seem to be unaware of it, they are more like Americans than they think.

My wife is not a sjuksköterska, but you can't have everything  Big grin

Vi syns och hörs.
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
artsyman
Posts: 4516
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2001 12:35 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:49 pm

The last thing a flight attendant said to me was make sure the plants are watered and clean up that fucking ebay mess...

J
 
andz
Posts: 7628
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 7:49 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:13 pm

A comment on the FA vs stewardess thing, my wife flies as a cabin crew member on a restored DC-4 and in keeping with the whole 1940s theme, including their uniform with the white gloves and hat, they are called air hostesses.
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
 
artsyman
Posts: 4516
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2001 12:35 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:18 pm

my wife flies as a cabin crew member on a restored DC-4
****

Oh...I didn't realise she worked for Northwest
 
andz
Posts: 7628
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 7:49 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:27 pm

LOL Artsyman from what I've read on here that's probably not far off...
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
 
JuniorSpotter
Posts: 202
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:24 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Thu Apr 01, 2004 11:45 pm

Btw - here's another one...

"Hello, my name is Paris Hilton and I'll be your flight attendant on this flight..."
...I'll leave the rest to your imagination...pervs.  Big thumbs up


Cheers!
Danny
If something can go wrong, it will.
 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Fri Apr 02, 2004 12:17 am

Paris Hilton would snap off in the first few bumps.
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
JuniorSpotter
Posts: 202
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:24 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Fri Apr 02, 2004 12:24 am

Starlionblue...skäms!  Big grin

I'd still let her be my F/A anytime...




...now, where did I put my cam-corder?

Danny
If something can go wrong, it will.
 
User avatar
Starlionblue
Posts: 17211
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:54 pm

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Fri Apr 02, 2004 2:03 am

Give me a woman with some muscles instead... And a less whiny voice. And something between the ears. Big grin


"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo
 
Guest

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Fri Apr 02, 2004 2:07 am

Just one thing.....


Can I hold that for you????  Acting devilish

Cool. How about those male FA's?

I have my chute, and I'm outta here.

[Edited 2004-04-01 18:09:25]
 
Ant72LBA
Posts: 374
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 7:42 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Fri Apr 02, 2004 2:22 am

Have to go back a few years for this one to work.

"Would you like some of my TWA tea sir?"

 
warren747sp
Posts: 984
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2004 7:51 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Fri Apr 02, 2004 5:01 am

Care for a complimentary membership in the Mile-High Club? No strings attached.!
747SP
 
User avatar
wernair
Posts: 156
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2003 4:32 am

RE: 5 Things You Want The Stewardess Say To You...!

Fri Apr 02, 2004 6:49 am

Some things I would love to hear:

+) Let me show you the crew rest
+) Well, that's okay, you can have a first class dinner
+) Could you help us and land this plane

Cheers,
Wernair
Wernair Photography

Popular Searches On Airliners.net

Top Photos of Last:   24 Hours  •  48 Hours  •  7 Days  •  30 Days  •  180 Days  •  365 Days  •  All Time

Military Aircraft Every type from fighters to helicopters from air forces around the globe

Classic Airliners Props and jets from the good old days

Flight Decks Views from inside the cockpit

Aircraft Cabins Passenger cabin shots showing seat arrangements as well as cargo aircraft interior

Cargo Aircraft Pictures of great freighter aircraft

Government Aircraft Aircraft flying government officials

Helicopters Our large helicopter section. Both military and civil versions

Blimps / Airships Everything from the Goodyear blimp to the Zeppelin

Night Photos Beautiful shots taken while the sun is below the horizon

Accidents Accident, incident and crash related photos

Air to Air Photos taken by airborne photographers of airborne aircraft

Special Paint Schemes Aircraft painted in beautiful and original liveries

Airport Overviews Airport overviews from the air or ground

Tails and Winglets Tail and Winglet closeups with beautiful airline logos