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ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 1:43 am

hi all, just wondered what funny conversations you heard between pilot and ATC, on a normal frequency, ex. approach, ground, etc., where it's not common for such chats, not included are chat frequencies!
i was at ZRH today and heard some funny things. American Airlines 767-300 complained about hearing music on the frequency and asked the ATC if he is listening to music! LOL
so i'm waiting for your experiences!
Christian Galliker - AirTeamImages
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 2:35 am

In Daytona Beach, one of the controllers likes to imitate a thick Boston accent when he says "departure," which comes out as "Dapaaahhhhhtcha."

When he is working the tower and advises people to switch over to departure frequency, whether it is a Riddle plane, a business jet, a Continental RJ, or the Delta MD-88 he always says " Aircraft XXXXXX, contact depaaahhhhhtcha on...."

Now, if the PIC of the aircraft advised to switch comes back and says "Aircraft XXXXXX, switching over to depaaahhhhhtcha...." he will usually come back with a "Sweet," "Awesome," "You Rock," or, if the accent wasn't good enough, "Try again next time...."

It's a Daytona thing I guess.

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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 3:31 am

In Jakarta...
"FedEx ####, runway 25L cleared for take off..."
"Cleared for takeoff, Fedex ####, and we're rollin'... Yeeehaaa!"

Whaddya expect out of an emptied A310  Big grin Rocket climb !

When losing situational awareness, pray Cumulus Granitus isn't nearby !
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 6:02 am

Shortly after they demolished the Vet in Philly: US Airways Pilot:"Hey, what happened to the Vet?" PHL Controller:"They demolished it." Pilot "Oh, they did a nice job!"

Another time when a BA departed from PHL during the Flyer's playoff game. BA Pilot:"Are you a fan of hockey?"(With ascent.) ATC: "Excuse me?" Pilot: "Are you a fan of hockey?!"(more of an ascent) ATC: "Yeah, sure." BA: "Well what was the final score of that Flyer's game?" ATC: "3-1 Flyers Lost"

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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 7:24 am

We have a tower controller at SFO who's rather fond of wishing all Hawaii-bound departures 'aloha' when he sends them off to departure freq.
If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 7:36 am

Read my signature.  Big thumbs up
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 7:51 am

At Madison, we had some seagulls on the field after a heavy rain. A Midwest Connect 328Jet was getting cleared to land.

ATC: Midwest #XXXX, clear to land 18. There is a flock of seagulls on and near the runway, so watch for them.
Flight:Midwest #XXXX clear to land on 18. Watching for a flock of seagulls. That was my favorite band from the '80s.


ATC:Midwest #XXXX, do you have a report on those seagulls?
Flight:Yeah, they were mostly on the side of the runway, but some were on the pavement.
ATC:Alright, thanks Midwest #XXXX, I was going to serenade you with a Flock of Seagulls song, but I couldn't think of one.
Flight:hums to the song from "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City"

Hey Obama, keep the change! I want my dollar back.
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 7:55 am

On a recent flight from ORD to SAT, I was listening to Channel 9 as our pilots got switched to Kansas City Center. I guess the pilots must have known each other as the conversation followed these lines:

"United 1208 at flight level two-nine-zero. Hey, is this Jim?"
"Yeah! How's it going, buddy?"
"Good, yourself?"
"Shift's almost over."
(laughter from pilot)

Also, at the local airport where one of my friends takes PPL lessons, one can often hear the tower's TV on in the background when talking to ATC.

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B-52s don't take off. They scare the ground away.
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 8:00 am

When flying into OAK in a C182, I was all lined up on 27R. Suddenly the tower controller, who also was my controller when I left an hour earlier to take my family on a bay cruise, asked me if I could switch over to 27L.

When departing:
"Cessna 7226N what's your destination?"
"We were hoping to take a cruise around the north bay."
"Yes, sir."
"So I guess your NOT a Cessna 152?"
"Um, no sir, we're a 182."
"I see. I guess we'll have to have a talk with whoever put you down as a 152, then."
"Yeah, I'd talk to ground."
"We'll do that. Anyway, Cleared for a little bay cruise, stay below 3,000 feet, and you'll be fine. Have a nice one!"

Uppon returning, after being cleared to land on 27R

"Cessna 7226N, can you move to 27L? I have a maintinence van on 27R checking for debris...."
"7226N moving to 27L."
*touch down*
"Cessna 7226N, Very nice adjustment, even though I had you do it on short notice."
"Oh, you flatter me, sir! Not my best landing, but I'll take it."
"That's my job! Take your next right, contact ground."
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 1:34 pm

"We have a tower controller at SFO who's rather fond of wishing all Hawaii-bound departures 'aloha' when he sends them off to departure freq."

I heard that dude when I was spotting out there on the walkway in late March.
Dave Mark - Intrinsic Algorithm - Reducing the world to mathematical equations!
Topic Author
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 8:12 pm

LOL, we've collected some funny things! this must be an experience for the pilot if he knows the ATC very well! hey is that you...  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Christian Galliker - AirTeamImages
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 9:59 pm

I was waiting for my flying lesson at Leicester (a small GA airfield in central England, mostly 152s/172s):

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It was a slow Sunday morning, when the scanner suddenly picked up the following:

Pilot: "Leicester Radio, G-MSKD with you"
(At this point I figured that G-MSKD was a BA CRJ based at BHX - why was he calling Leicester radio?)
Controller: "G-MSKD, Leicester Radio go ahead"
Pilot: "G-MSKD is type Canadair Regional Jet, FL150 routing Birmingham - Brussels"
**Looooong pause**
Controller: "Is that you, Mike?"

It turned out the pilot was an ex-student of the instructor at Leicester! A five minute conversation ensued, at the end of which the pilot said:
"I'd better go now - coffee's here!"

Made me chuckle!

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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 10:30 pm

I'll tell you my scariest one.

I was doing some VOR-practice over XXX VOR at night. I was at 4500, with OVC clouds at 5000. All of a sudden, an airliner calls the tower saying he's at "5000 and descending over XXX VOR..." (We checked the timetable for this airport, this must have been a rare visitor) and needless to say, it scared the sh-t out of me.

Altitude is Insurance - Get Insured
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RE: ATC Talking

Fri Jun 11, 2004 10:37 pm

Surprisingly, the controllers at JFK can be pretty jovial. My last trip there there were a couple of funny things I heard. The first was a jetBlue A320 departing... "jetBlue xxx, fly heading 132, cleared for takeoff Runway 13R." The jetBlue replied, "heading 132, cleared for takeoff", to which the controller replied "Just kidding, 130 will be fine". Of course, the jetBlue crew had to have the last laugh, as they reported they were flying heading 132 before switching to departure.

The other incident involved what I took to be a small plane flying along the coastline near JFK. Since he was in the Class B, he checked in with the tower, and the controller asked him if he'd like a low-level approach to Runway 4L, to which the pilot replied in the affirmative. Since the 22s were in use, this sounded odd. In a couple of minutes I heard a high-pitched whine and saw a P-51 Mustang come screaming down the length of Runway 4L, doing a fly-by of the tower. I guess the controllers wanted to see the plane, and it was indeed cool.
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 3:13 am

Student pilot doing practice ILS. Tower asked him to report 3 DME.

Student: "Sx-45 is at 3 DME"
Tower: "Roger, Sx-45, cleared to land, 35L"
Students instructor: "Actually we're about 6 DME."
Tower: "I know, I wasn't going to say anything."
Student: "Thank you"
Tower: "*LOL*, you're welcome."

Northwest pilot reading back IFR clearance to Grand Forks ground:
He is flying to MSP.

Pilot: "Northwest XXX, cleared to Grand Forks.....or...whatever, as filed.....etc"
Ground: "Northwest XXX, readback correct, verify Minneapolis as destinatation."
Ride Amtrak!
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 3:35 am

Read my signature.

.... FLY2HMO.... Heard at 2/6/2004: " Aeromexico 4## don't turn of your engines I need you to MOVE!!! "

Of?! You mean off of course, right?  Big grin
Never Trust Your Fuel Gauge
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 3:45 am

Just this past weekend I had a good laugh:

I was coming in to AZO from the west. I had just been handed off from Approach to tower when this took place:

Me: "Kalamazoo Tower, Westen 54, 10 to the west, inbound for landing."
Tower: "Western 54, kalamazoo tower, fly straight in runway 5, cleared to land."
Me: "Straight in to 5, cleared to land, Western 54."
Me: (2 miles out) "Wind check for Western 54"
Tower: "060 at 4, Cubs 3-1 over st. louis, bottom 4th"
Me: "HAHAHA thanks for the score but im a sox fan."
Tower: "Western 54, immediate right 360 for the cubs fan coming in behind you."
Me: "Right 360 for western 54."
Tower: "Just kidding 54, continue straight in to 5, cleared to land."
Never Trust Your Fuel Gauge
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 4:52 am

HAHA Mike, I remember that; US Airways Pilot:"Hey, what happened to the Vet?" PHL Controller:"They demolished it." Pilot "Oh, they did a nice job!" There were a few of them that day.

Nothing big but yesterday I heard "Good Afternoon Denver Center, Continental 38 with you FL 220 up to 380" He came back laughing saying "opps, not Denver, New York"

This is a story from my friend Joe (Wagz) "Afternoon Philly Approach, US Air 233 (or something) outta 10 thousand for 8 and we have Booze News" (Information Whiskey). HAHA
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 7:04 am

Overheard at Westchester (KHPN) recently:

Tower: Learjet ####, damn that's quite a climb rate, traffic's at your 3 o'clock, 1500 feet, uh, nevermind, you're above him already, ummm, yeah...ok, contact departure

The lear pilot let out a huge laugh as he acknowledged.
7 billion, one nation,'s a beautiful day
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 7:09 am

It's nice to hear when Dutch people speak English to ATC. Big grin
FlightS in the next 3 months: MSP, PHX, MEM, NCE, TFS, BCN. All round trips from AMS
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 8:53 am

Another one from me:

I was flying a VFR cross country, and some of the Seattle Center controllers that control airspace in Oregon dont' like GA very much. So, they tend to forget to do traffic advisories unless it's important.

So as I'm flying along a Cessna Citation goes flying by me, about 2,000 feet away, and 1,000 feet below.

"Cessna XXXX traffic is 9 o'clock fast moving, about 1,000 feet below you."
"Uh, yeah, CessnaXXXX had the traffic, it went by me a second ago."
"Oh, sorry."
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 9:22 am

On an unspecified airlines company frequency I once heard a pilot calling in his pizza order to meet them on arrival. You'd be amazed the interesting things you can hear on a company frequency.
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RE: ATC Talking

Sat Jun 12, 2004 11:12 pm

Two I have heard from other discussion boards... Enjoy!

-The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speedbird 206") after landing. Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway." Ground: "Guten morgen! You will taxi to your gate!" The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxi way and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with some arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?!?" Speedbird 206 (cooly): "Yes, I have, in 1944. In another type of Boeing. I didn't stop."

-I was a Pan Am 727 Flight Engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich, Germany. I was listening to the radio since I was the junior crew member. This was the conversation I overheard: (I don't recall call signs any longer) Lufthansa: (In German) "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground: (In English) "If you want an answer you must speak english." Luft: (In English) "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why, must I speak English?" Beautiful English Accent: (before ground could answer) "Because you lost the bloody war!"
ASOS... Another Shi#y Observation Station
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RE: ATC Talking

Sun Jun 13, 2004 12:07 am

While on the subject of Lufthansa, A favourite urban legend.

A LH flight is taxiing for takeoff in JFK, had a passenger count problem.

LH: "Tower, LH xxx, We are missing a passenger, request hold on the taxiway to sort it out"

Tower: "Approved"

After a more than few minutes has passed, (LH is blocking other traffic)

Tower: "LH xxx, Have you located the passenger?"

LH: "Not yet, tower"

Unidentified Voice: "Have you checked the ovens?"
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RE: ATC Talking

Sun Jun 13, 2004 12:15 am

While on the subject of Lufthansa, A favourite urban legend.

Why was he talking to the tower if he was taxiing? Shouldn't he have been talking to ground  Big grin
Never Trust Your Fuel Gauge
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RE: ATC Talking

Sun Jun 13, 2004 12:24 am


I don't about the airport you fly out of from, but at the most major US airports, when you are on the parallel taxiway approaching the holding point, you switch to and monitor tower frequency.
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RE: ATC Talking

Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:15 am

Here is a whole bunch of jokes I got from my uncle in a email:

The in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" Flight Attendant crew, the
said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be
turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the
appearance of your Flight Attendants"
On landing, the Stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have."
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out
of this airplane"
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving
us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245
to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle,
and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't
know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the
ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you
have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting
with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses."
And from the Pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased
to have some of the best Flight Attendants in the industry. Unfortunately,
none of them are on this flight!"
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a
particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain
was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
************************************************! **
Another Flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing. "We ask
you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
An Airline Pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his
ship into the runway really hard. The Airline had a policy which required
the First Officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our Airline." He said that, in light of his bad
landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking
that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off
except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the Pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
********************************************************** Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you
folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane
urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable
cruising altitude, the Captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...OH, MY GOD!" - Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the Captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the Flight Attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
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RE: ATC Talking

Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:38 am

Captain in an funny voice, shortly after take-off: "Hello... this is me, I'm the little man sitting on the tip of the wing."

Later that evening during approach: "He-e-e-ello... i-i-i-it's me a-a-again... I'm f-f-f-frozen!"

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