IFE in the cockpit:
- Pressing the call button repeatedly, then telling the onrushing F/A that you slipped.
- Repeat the above until just before the F/A smashes you in the head with a spare oxygen tank.
- The realistic nature movie projected in the windows.
- On the ground, using the "Ground Call" (horn) button when the ground handler has his head in the front wheel well.
- Just before you stop at the gate, brake violently so all the morons who have gotten up bang their heads.
- Start the PA inflight and announce "Hi and welcome to xxx. We are pleased to have you- HOLY CRAP!"
Who needs IFE up there? And remember, these guys are ON
"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." - John Ringo