I was once working the gate in SAV
and was advised by a Comair crew to make an announcement, the kind of announcement that any gate agent will tell you that they hate to make, which was that the only lavatory onboard was inoperative. I figured the best way to break the news to the passengers for a flight that was slightly over an hour was to at least add some humor to it. I picked up the PA and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been advised that the only lavatory we have on this aircraft is broken, so if you think you will feel the need to use the restroom soon, you better do it now, because the Captain swears that once we take off, he is NOT pulling over for anyone to run behind a cloud." I got a bit of a chuckle before everyone started heading for the restrooms.
Another time in SAV
, I was trying to board a Comair RJ
, an ASA RJ
, and a Northwest Pinnacle RJ
all at the same time. When I got around to boarding the NW
flight, I made the announcement, "OK
folks, for those of you travelling on NW
Airlink flight ### to Detroit, we will be boarding out of this door right here. Once you get to the bottom of the stairs, you will want to head for the grey and red airplane with a big N on the tail. Thats the one going to Detroit. If you board any of the other planes, you are going to end up in either Cincinnati or Dallas, and by looking at your itineraries, none of you plan on going there."
I don't have a microwave, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.