ClipperAurora
Posts: 94
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 9:51 pm

Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 5:12 am

Hey people just wanted to start a thread o funny Pilot PA'sthat you remember on board an airliner.

here goes...

" Ladies and gentlemen, if the folks on the right side of the airplane look outside you'll be able to see new york city, if the folks on the left side look to your right and you'll be able to see the others look at NYC "
//////// FLY THE FLAG
 
FFlyer
Posts: 552
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2001 6:46 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:11 am

The a/c being towed the last tens of yards to the gate at JFK; "please remain seated and seat belts fastened until...., and now it is especially important, since we are at the mercy of someone, who has a NY driver's licence!"
 
A340600
Posts: 3893
Joined: Sun Aug 24, 2003 10:24 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:15 am

"Ladies and gentlemen, we now have to dim the cabin lights for takeoff, please keep your hands to yourself!"

Onboard EZY LOL Laugh out loud, best cabin crew!

Sam Big thumbs up
Despite the name I am a Boeing man through and through!
 
EZEIZA
Posts: 4421
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:09 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:20 am

Just before take off on AEP-MVD, a 40 min flight:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, our flight time will be of 12 hours"!!!
Carp aunque ganes o pierdas ...
 
cumulonimbus
Posts: 508
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:13 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:55 am


CO Flying from IAH to Ellington Field on ATR-42 4 Min flight.

After take off. "Thank you for Flying CO express on this flight to Mobile Alabama". 5 second pause " Just Kidding!!!"
 
waketurbulence
Posts: 1264
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 12:33 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:55 am

A pilot giving the info during a flight said, "Well folks, we are now cruising at 35,000 feet, so we invite you to sit back and relax or sit up and be tense...either was it will take us about 40 more minutes to get into Reno."
-Matt
 
N1120A
Posts: 26468
Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2003 5:40 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 11:11 am

(WN F/A in a perfect Jaaaaaack Nicholson voice) "I know this is LA, but you need to hang up the cell phone!!"

A guy on Amtrak once said "thank you for traveling Amtrak, the lifesaver!!"

Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
 
xaphan
Posts: 90
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2003 11:09 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:36 pm

2 classics I personally heard while non-revving on DL:
"Todays flight will take us up the Mississippi Valley from New Orleans to Chicago. During our flight. we will be privilaged to fly over "Alligator, Mississippi". Blank stares among the passengers. After a period of time, the DC 8-51 banks it's right wing and the Captain comes on the PA. "Ladies and Gentlemen, on the right side of the aircraft you can see a road and a railroad track crossing where there are about 20 or so small building. This is Alligator, Mississippi..." long pause, as several passenger take photos... "which is the birthplace of the First Officer." Applause from the passengers, humiliation from the second in command.
The second was like unto it... While on a CVG-LAX flight, the pilot announced we were flying over "4 corners" a spot on the map where the states of Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, and Colorado meet. There is a small marker (if memory serves, about 3 feet high) on the spot. The lady seated next to me took a picture of it. From 36,000 feet.

 
ckfred
Posts: 4734
Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2001 12:50 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:56 pm

I once was on an AA flight from ORD to SLC. The approach into SLC involves a left turn over Ogden to start south, following the Salt Lake Valley. The captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be making a left-hand turn at the gas station with the clean restroom and starting our descent into Salt Lake City."

 
BIGBlack
Posts: 583
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 3:16 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 2:45 pm

On a UA flight from SFO to BOS....

"Hello Ladies and Gentleman! This is your pilot speaking. On behalf of the crew we would like to welcome you on United. We appreciate your business and thank you for flying with us. Here at United, we have 3 of the best Flight Attendants in the industry. Unfortunately they could not be here today, but we do have these 3...."
Someone special in the air
 
levent
Posts: 1589
Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2004 8:11 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 5:14 pm

Thai Airways captain, just before take-off: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a slight problem with our nose wheel and as I don´t want to make a belly landing upon arrival I think we´re stuck here for a while."

EasyJet captain: "You´ll have a great view of another aircraft if you look to the right. If Spanish ATC do their job well, he should stay at that distance."

EasyJet cabin crew: "Please remain seated until we are at the gate, our pilots may be good fliers but are very bad drivers."
A bit later: "I hear seat belts clicking... if you want to get hurt that´s up to you, but I don´t want you to hurt someone else!"

 
JuniorSpotter
Posts: 202
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:24 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 9:15 pm

Not an announcement, but let's just let our imagination work at it's best.




Cheers!
Danny
If something can go wrong, it will.
 
DaEvOsH
Posts: 32
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2001 6:34 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Fri Oct 15, 2004 11:45 pm

LOL Danny!!! I spent some minutes looking at that picture wondering 'what is funny about this?'. The lower section (where the 'action' is happening) was outside of my view...  Smile  Smile

Good thread everyone! I remember a flight in AirEuropa (Spanish carrier) where the FA made fun during the safety presentation. Made a clown out of himself, things like when inflating the life jacket getting drowned, etc. All the airplane was up in laughs and the mood was very nice for the duration of the flight. The pilot did a comment to his joking on the PA later on, noticing that it was good the clown was in the cabin, not the cockpit!

Regards all, good thread.

Juan Miguel Venturello
 
User avatar
litz
Posts: 1884
Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2003 6:01 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 12:25 am

On a Delta Connection flight last year, it was a late, late afternoon flight, and I imagine the crew had already been back and forth several times on their route.

Captain comes on, makes his hellos, and starts to welcome everyone onto "Flight number .... err ... err ... uhh ... err ... oh hell, we're going to Atlanta!".

 Smile/happy/getting dizzy

- litz
 
N1120A
Posts: 26468
Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2003 5:40 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 12:40 am

So, Danny, where was the infamous picture taken?

Something I think sounds funny, but is typical is made possible due to UA channel 9 and differences between US and UK ATC. In the UK, the minimums where you can maintain high speed are much lower than in the US, and US pilots sometimes forget this. I heard an AA flight ask for a clearance into a lower flight level into heathrow and ask "what speed?" and ATC said "AAXXX clear to Fl110, speed as you wish" It just sounds so cool that they are telling a 777 to keep up at M.85 that close to landing.

Oh, and funny because it is so redundant, LH decent into PHX, the captain in his strong german accent "Weather in Phoenix is about 45 degrees Centigrade, so it is quite hot."
Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
 
ClipperAurora
Posts: 94
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 9:51 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 12:49 am

awesome stories guys ..... here's another

FO on the PA, "Ladies and gentlemen the ground is getting bigger that means were getting lower"
//////// FLY THE FLAG
 
MD80Nut
Posts: 972
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 6:43 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 1:31 am

I was on a Southwest flight to Nashville in 2002 when the pilot comes on and says "Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to begin our final approach into Midway Airport in Chicago." A pause. "Ladies and gentlemen, my first officer says we are beginning our final approach into Nashville, and since he's bigger than I am, we're landing in Nashville."  Smile

cheers, Ralph



[Edited 2004-10-15 18:36:06]
Fly Douglas Jets DC-8 / DC-9 / DC-10 / MD80 / MD11 / MD90 / 717
 
AF777ER
Posts: 31
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:32 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 1:52 am

I was on a VolareWeb flight on approach to Venice Marco Polo Airport. About 20 seconds before landing, one of the pilots came on and said "For the people sitting on the right, you have a beautiful view of Venice, for the people on the left, you have a horrible view of Marghera" the whole cabin laughed. (Marghera is in Mestre where there is all factories with huge chimneys everywhere.)
 
User avatar
TupolevTu154
Posts: 1918
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 6:00 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:31 am

I got this out of a magazine...


"thank you for flying with us today folks, and next time you get the insane urge to go rocketing through the skies in a preshurised metal tube, we hope you think of US Airways"

THE BEST!!

TupolevTu154
 
mikester540
Posts: 155
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2004 11:48 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 5:05 am

On an Independence Air (best F/A's i've found, well the friendliest) flight from BDL-IAD which is like an hour and a half flight..
F/A: "This is flight #---- to Hawaii..." kinda lame humor, but the other PAX found it amusing at the time when it was chilly in hartford...


Mike
We need men who can dream of things that never were. -John F. Kennedy
 
erikwilliam
Posts: 2122
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 12:30 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 5:15 am

I have a couple too:

On an empty flight on a 767 from Sydney to Coolangata, pilot:" Ladies and Gent. as we don´t have that many people today I think we can do a game of hide and seek before we go, what do U say?"

On a flight from JFK to Cleveland Hopkins with AEagle, pilot: "Ladies and gent. welcome aboard frightXXX to cleveland on this new Embraer 145, this plane is so new that it comes with an oven and we´re making pankakes with maple syrupe for U, thank U, have a good day(and the plane had the smeel)"....some minutes later, "I´m sorry guys, it turns out that we don´t have pankakes with syrup, it´s just the de-icing liquid that smeels like this, but we could really use one right now, hã?!"
Dida, Cafu, Lucio, Roque Junior, Roberto Carlo, Emerson, Ze Roberto, Ronaldinho, Kaka, Adriano, Robinho, Ronaldo
 
DLKAPA
Posts: 7962
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:37 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 5:15 am

From a story I heard from some people flying Southwest, as they pulled into the gate next to an AA bird.

"Ladies and gentleman, if you'll all look out the windows on the left side of the aircraft, you'll give our competition a view of what a full flight looks like."
And all at once the crowd begins to sing: Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same
 
COFreqFlyer
Posts: 358
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 11:44 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 8:30 am

"Please insure that your seatbelts are securely fastened as unrestrained passengers tend to shift around during turbulence, and we're sure you don't want an unexpected seatmate."  Smile
The Proud Bird with the Golden Tail
 
miguel0881
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:52 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 8:43 am

On South Africa's new LCC kalula.com, the FA warned us not to smoke in the lavatories because it carried a large fine and "for that price you could have flown SAA tonight!"
 
hawaijahaz
Posts: 328
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2004 3:48 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:27 am

Heard this on a Pinnacle flight from AUS to MEM (CRJ) the flight attendant was making her announcement:

Welcome aboard ladies and gentlemen. As you know, all airlines have been making cuts during this time of financial uncertainty. Northwest Airlines has also been making several cuts...first of which is putting you on this small plane.

Enjoy!!
 
ERJ145LR
Posts: 419
Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:55 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:22 am

on a swa flight "please put your oxygen mask on before helping your children...if you want to..."

another SWA-- "if you look out your window at the wing, or inflight entertainment today will be a live preformance of gone with the wind."

some other cool stuff that pilots did--

SWA-- on Thanksgiving the pilot played the harmonica on the loud speaker while we has a small delay.

AA (eagle)-- funniest flight i've ever been on, the pilots just before takeoff stomped their feet and clapped their hands and sang we will rock you..!, also upon landing they started to scream as though we were on a roller coaster, at the end of the flight the f/a appologised for the crazy pilots it was so cool!
 
FLAIRPORT
Posts: 3863
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2000 10:46 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:43 am

my favorite has to go to B6's LGA ground crew:
After boarding: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is jetBlue flight XXX to Fort Lauderdale, if you are not going to Fort Lauderdale today, please tell us now!"
(GOT A HUGE CHUCKLE!)
of course, we all know why thats funny!

From the same flight: it was the crews first flight of the day (2pm) and they ALL said "Good Mroning!"...I head that about 20 times at 2pm!

on my B6 FLL-LGA...FA is running to his seat to prepare for takeoff...other FA says "Run, Forest, run!"
NEXT FLIGHT: FLL-ATL-HPN on FL
 
JuniorSpotter
Posts: 202
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:24 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:40 pm

N1120a,

Do you really think that I'd tell you guys where to find this sort of action? Heeeell no. At least wait until I open a popcorn stand and get some lawn-chairs out.  Big grin Naw, I actually don't know where it is...and to be honest, I haven't even taken a good look at the airport facilities to find out. Big grin

Soooo...which one of you guys wants to share a what looks like to be a GOOD trip report with the rest of us?  Big grin


Cheers!
Danny
If something can go wrong, it will.
 
aa777223er
Posts: 217
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 11:32 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sun Oct 17, 2004 8:35 am

A couple weeks ago coming in to JFK from ZRH, we had a very hard landing. As we approached the gate, the FO came over the PA and said "ladies and gentleman, welcome to New York, where they make the runways hard! Please remain seated..." hilarious  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Regards,

AA777223ER
time flies, seize the day
 
MAS777
Posts: 2757
Joined: Sun Jul 11, 1999 7:40 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:47 pm

Landing back at LGW from Amsterdam on a very gusty wintry evening - we bounced several times on touched down and swayed to a stop at the end of the runway.

Announcement - "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to London's Gatwick Airport...with what we have left of a Boeing 737..."
 
Aviationman
Posts: 619
Joined: Wed Dec 22, 1999 5:05 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Sun Oct 17, 2004 10:11 pm

JuniorSpotter, this picture was taken @ Montreal Trudeau....Only in Montreal!
 
Chiguire
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 5:11 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 1:48 am

After the pilot had to fight agains some upwinds to get the BA 777 on to the runway in ANU:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Antigua. And remember, whenever you come to build an airstrip make sure there is no hill in front !"
 
BOSugaDL
Posts: 239
Joined: Thu Aug 21, 2003 4:39 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 1:56 am

"Welcme aboard Continental flight 1234 from Boston to Newark 'Intergalactic' airport...if you have an uncontrollable desire to smoke on this 45 min flight please feel free to enter our smoking lounge located on the left wing, but please wait until we are at cruising altitude, we would not want you to get blown off during takeoff."...I was 7 years old when this happend, so i found the Newark "intergalactic" funny, but did get the rest...now I get it, sarcastic humor is the best
 
MIAspotter
Posts: 2848
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2001 1:57 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:27 am

On an EZY flight from LTN-BCN

"Ladies and gentlemans... we shall be pushing back in a few seconds as soon as our flight attendant figures out how to close the door!.

on the return flight a couple was denied boarding so they had to locate their bags and remove them from the plane...

"Ladies and gentlemans it seems that 2 passengers are not travelling with us today so the ground crew must locate and remove their bags from the plane which will take about 10 minutes... ehh well one of those things...."

and this one was actually heard on a National Express coach from Heathrow to Bournemouth.

Ladies and gentlemans welcome aboard our flightlink service to Bournemouth... we were suppossed to have a hostess today but it turns out she was sick.... but don't worry as soon as we hit the M3 I will put the coach on autopilot and come around offering you some snacks! oh and by the way my name is Charlie.... and if you don't like it...then u can call me peter!
Nos vamos de Vueling?
 
OttoPylit
Posts: 2259
Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2003 10:58 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 6:30 am

I was once working the gate in SAV and was advised by a Comair crew to make an announcement, the kind of announcement that any gate agent will tell you that they hate to make, which was that the only lavatory onboard was inoperative. I figured the best way to break the news to the passengers for a flight that was slightly over an hour was to at least add some humor to it. I picked up the PA and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been advised that the only lavatory we have on this aircraft is broken, so if you think you will feel the need to use the restroom soon, you better do it now, because the Captain swears that once we take off, he is NOT pulling over for anyone to run behind a cloud." I got a bit of a chuckle before everyone started heading for the restrooms.

Another time in SAV, I was trying to board a Comair RJ, an ASA RJ, and a Northwest Pinnacle RJ all at the same time. When I got around to boarding the NW flight, I made the announcement, "OK folks, for those of you travelling on NW Airlink flight ### to Detroit, we will be boarding out of this door right here. Once you get to the bottom of the stairs, you will want to head for the grey and red airplane with a big N on the tail. Thats the one going to Detroit. If you board any of the other planes, you are going to end up in either Cincinnati or Dallas, and by looking at your itineraries, none of you plan on going there."
I don't have a microwave, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.
 
wheelsatc
Posts: 111
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 6:39 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 6:59 am

Not a pilot announcement but a cabin crew announcement on landing at EDI on an EZY flight from STN.

"Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Edinburgh. Myself and the rest of the cabin crew hope you enjoyed your flight today and thank you for flying Easyjet, if you didn't enjoy your flight today thank you for flying Ryanair!
 
JuniorSpotter
Posts: 202
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:24 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 7:48 am

Aviationman - and hoooooow would you know? Recognize that @ss?  Big grin


Nightynight!
/Danny
If something can go wrong, it will.
 
XFSUgimpLB41X
Posts: 3961
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 1:18 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 3:54 pm

Whenver i have the FA prepare for departure.. i go over hte PA and say "(name), please prepare the cabin for blast off."

I always refer to the lav as the litterbox....


Pulled off my masterpiece ATC line a couple weeks ago:

tuned up clearance delivery in Lansing...

Me- "Knock knock"

(pause- controller comes on..kind of laughing) "who's there?"


Me- "Flagship"

ATC- "Flagship who?" (laughing a bit harder)


Me- "Flagship 4736, Dulles, X-Ray"

(longer pause..comes back on barely able to talk) "Flagship 4736 (snicker snicker) cleared to dulles as filed.... etc.


Can't believe that worked haha.
Chicks dig winglets.
 
speedbudgie
Posts: 110
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2003 11:32 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 7:39 pm

I was on a Southwest flight where the flight attendant handed each person in the front of the row a roll of toilet tissue. She then announced that we were going to have a contest to see who could unroll it back to the end of the plane the fastest. The goal was to unwind the roll of toilet tissue, passing it to the person behind you as fast as possible without breaking it.

On another Southwest flight, the pilot came on the PA and asked if everyone seated in an aisle seat could lean away from the aisle as he had to back the plane out of the gate and wanted an unobstructed view. People actually moved their heads out of the way too!
 
BAViscount
Posts: 1975
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:01 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:49 pm

This happened just last night on arrival at the gate at LGW on an easyJet flight from AMS:

"Ladies and gentleman, this is the captain. As we have a very short turnaround time here tonight, we will be taking on large amounts of highly flammable jet fuel as you leave the aircraft. Please do not switch on your mobile phones until well inside the terminal as even a tiny spark from your phone could cause us all to be blown into oblivion. If that happens, your phone will be pretty useless anyway, and we'll all be on our way to an entirely different destination!".

Even that didn't stop people switching their phones on, as the captain had to make a second announcement a few minutes later...people, who'd have 'em?!
Ladies & gentlemen this is Captain Tobias Wilcock welcoming you aboard Coconut Airways flight 372 to Bridgetown Barb
 
frugalqxnwa
Posts: 550
Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 3:18 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 2:55 am

Feb. 2000, UA 777 DEN-SFO

"The weather in San Francisco, well, it depends on your definition of a nice day. If you define a strong south wind, overcast skies, and rain as nice, then you are in for a nice day."

The captain made several other jokes over the PA while we were waiting in the de-ice area for clearance in DEN, but unfortunately I don't remember them.
 
VS045
Posts: 188
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:33 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 3:25 am

F/A announcement upon landing at LHR

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to London etc. (usual stuff)

Then "Please take all items with you including small children, although single men under 25 would be greatly appreciated. Any items left behind will be evenly distributed amongst the cabin crew.

Cheers,
VS045
4 engines 4 long haul
 
planespotting
Posts: 3026
Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 4:54 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:03 am

All of these were on a WN flight from Houston to Love Field (all by the same male flight attendant)

"I am the Flight Attendant, and I approved this message"

"For those of you who would like to light up a cigarette during this flight we ask you to step outside onto our wing so you may experience our in flight movie, gone with the wind"

(during long float and subsequent hard landing)"*horse whinney* easy big fella"

"We ask that you stay in your seats with the seatbelts on until the aircraft comes to a complete stop...*few seconds later* for those of you standing up in the aisle you have a birds eye view of our fasten seatbelt sign*
Do you like movies about gladiators?
 
AirEMS
Posts: 625
Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 6:34 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:14 am

I have a few:

ORD-DEN on UAL:
Right after we pull in to the gate in Den..... as the Capt. turns out the fasten seat belts sign he announces "All rise"

Or on Aspen Airways Flying out of Aspen Colorado (of all places lol) to Denver
on a Convair 580 the Capt. announces of the PA during our take off roll "Ladies and gentlemen if you would please lean forward in your seats to assist our Convair 580 in its take off climb out of Aspen. If you should hear me scream you werent leaning forward far enough"


Fly Safe
Carl  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
If Your Dying Were Flying
 
Aviationman
Posts: 619
Joined: Wed Dec 22, 1999 5:05 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:22 am

No, not recognizing that ass. just obviously Montreal.......Read the large green big sign on the terminal building "Montreal"
 
Aviationman
Posts: 619
Joined: Wed Dec 22, 1999 5:05 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:26 am

JuniorSpotter, can you read?
 
Cubsrule
Posts: 11508
Joined: Sat May 15, 2004 12:13 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:29 am

CLT-ORD on UA, on encountering some rough air: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Controller who told me that we would have a smooth ride is clearly related to my ex-wife, so I'm going to have to put the seat belt sign back on."
I can't decide whether I miss the tulip or the bowling shoe more
 
DragonRapide
Posts: 133
Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2001 6:59 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 5:45 pm

To juniorspotter:

Damn, I thought I was making her scream from pleasure... Big grin
 
YUL2010
Posts: 309
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2003 8:57 am

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 5:51 pm

I am all of a sudden embarrassed of coming from Montreal.... Who the hell took that pic anyway??
"Hotel November Oscar clear to land runway 24L"
 
UAXDXer
Posts: 700
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 3:36 pm

RE: Funny Pilot Anouncements

Tue Oct 19, 2004 6:46 pm

SWA HOU-OKC: after arriving at the gate in OKC FA says, "Welcome to Oklahoma City, home of the University of Texas at Oklahoma." I think the FA had one foot already out of the door when she made that announcment.

UA ORD-DEN: after bouncing 3 or 4 times during the landing the CA says, "Folks, welcome to DEN and sorry for the ruff landing, or FO thinks he is still in the Navy."
It takes a bug to hit a windsheild but it takes guts to stick