SonOfACaptain
Topic Author
Posts: 1695
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 5:36 am

Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:16 pm

Well, just learned it wasn't true, so enjoy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

At a recent computer
expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the aircraft industry and stated, "If Embraer had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be flying
$25.00 planes that go 1,000 miles per hour."

In response to Bill's comments, Embraer issued a press release
stating: If Embraer had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be flying planes with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your plane would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted taxiway and runway lines, you would have
to buy a new plane.

3. Occasionally your plane would die on the runway for no reason. You
would have to pull to the side, open all of the doors, shut off the
plane, restart it, and reclose the doors before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your plane to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a plane that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to fly - but would run
on only five percent of the airways.

6. The oil temperature, pressure and generator warning lights would
all be replaced by a single "This Aircraft Has Performed an Illegal
Operation" warning light.

7. The groundspoiler system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your plane would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the nosewheel and grabbed hold of the VHF radio
antenna.

9. Every time a new plane was introduced pilots would have to learn
how to fly all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old plane.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

-SOAC

[Edited 2005-07-19 09:30:32]
Non Illegitimi Carborundum
 
UAalltheway
Posts: 1358
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 8:31 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words (True?)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:27 pm

LOL.. absolutely hilarious.. thanks for sharing!  Smile

 bouncy 
 
wunala
Posts: 898
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 7:17 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words (True?)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:29 pm

Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
I am not sure if this is true or not, but funny none-the-less.

No, it is not true, as there are several versions of this, such as Ford and GM floating around the place. But it is still funny
 
SonOfACaptain
Topic Author
Posts: 1695
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:31 pm

Quoting Wunala (Reply 2):
No, it is not true, as there are several versions of this, such as Ford and GM floating around the place. But it is still funny

Hey, thanks a lot. I didn't think it was true but I was just being on the safe side.

-SOAC
Non Illegitimi Carborundum
 
erikwilliam
Posts: 2122
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 9:51 pm

11- in case of emergency, a window would show up and ask: would you lie to save before continue?
Dida, Cafu, Lucio, Roque Junior, Roberto Carlo, Emerson, Ze Roberto, Ronaldinho, Kaka, Adriano, Robinho, Ronaldo
 
EMBTucano
Posts: 234
Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2004 1:34 pm

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 10:04 pm

12 - During flight a message would pop-up telling the pilot that a couple of patches and updates has just been installed and all the running programs will be closed and the plane will automatically restart.  sarcastic 


Cheers
---- Use GNU/LINUX and be free! ----
 
bill142
Posts: 7861
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:50 pm

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 10:07 pm

Quoting Erikwilliam (Reply 4):
11- in case of emergency, a window would show up and ask: would you lie to save before continue?

No no no.. you just set it to auto save, which it will simply forget to do.
 
wunala
Posts: 898
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 7:17 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 10:46 pm

Quoting Bill142 (Reply 6):
No no no.. you just set it to auto save, which it will simply forget to do.

No, you will have turned auto save off again, as it slows down the computer too much, especially after you have just hit .
 
PMN
Posts: 547
Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 7:44 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 10:59 pm

Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):

Brilliant!

Paul
Edith in his bed, a plane in the rain is humming, the wires in the walls are humming some song - some mysterious song
 
aireuropeuk733
Posts: 944
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2004 7:33 pm

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:32 pm

LMAO and RATFL

It would be tragic if it wasn't true!

AE733
It's nice to fly with friends
 
dan2002
Posts: 2024
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2002 7:11 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:42 pm

Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your plane to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.



Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
7. The groundspoiler system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.



Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.



Quoting EMBTucano (Reply 5):
12 - During flight a message would pop-up telling the pilot that a couple of patches and updates has just been installed and all the running programs will be closed and the plane will automatically restart.

Sounds like an Airbus  Wink


-Dan
A guy asks 'What's Punk?'. I kick over a trash can and its punk. He knocks over a trash can and its trendy.
 
FlyPIJets
Posts: 832
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 12:08 am

While this is fake, still funny. Bill Gate$ really did make similar comments comparing the micro computer evolution to the car industry, saying that if car design had kept pace with computer design, we would all be purchasing new cars for $25 at the check out counter of the supermarket.

And although Gate$' did not mention a specific auto maker, the Chairman of GM responded back, who would want to purchase a car the crashes every 20 mins.

That exchange really did happen. Back in '96 - '98 or so.
Rex Kramer: Get that finger out of your ear! You don't know where that finger's been!
 
mrocktor
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 1:06 am

 
centrair
Posts: 2845
Joined: Thu Jan 13, 2005 3:44 pm

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 9:19 am

Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
5. Macintosh would make a plane that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to fly - but would run on only five percent of the airways.

Makes me very happy. When Airplanes and Apple are in the same forum it is true happiness for me.

Not to mention if Apple made a plane it would have great design and better user interface for all who worked on it. Not to mention iPod ports and iTunes in the IFE.

Can't wait till that happens. The Apple iPlane.
---
Justin
G3 iBook and G4 iMac owner
Mac user since 1986
150,000 NW Miles since 1992
My name is Centrair but HND is closer. Let's Japanese Aviation!
 
slawko
Posts: 3742
Joined: Tue May 25, 1999 7:40 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 9:39 am

Quoting Dan2002 (Reply 10):
Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your plane to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.



Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
7. The groundspoiler system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.




Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.




Quoting EMBTucano (Reply 5):
12 - During flight a message would pop-up telling the pilot that a couple of patches and updates has just been installed and all the running programs will be closed and the plane will automatically restart.

Sounds like an Airbus

Acutally sound slike an Embraer too!! HAHA
"Clive Beddoe says he favours competition, but his actions do not support that idea." Robert Milton - CEO Air Canada
 
SonOfACaptain
Topic Author
Posts: 1695
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 5:36 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 9:51 am

Quoting Slawko (Reply 14):
Acutally sound slike an Embraer too!! HAHA

HAHA, the Emb-170 pilot I got this from said this same exact thing.

-SOAC
Non Illegitimi Carborundum
 
SWISSER
Posts: 1568
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 11:31 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 10:09 am

Haha! simply humor (unfortunatly the truth) at it's best!

Tough I have some problems configuring my Ipod to Itunes on my PC...
What time is top of descent?
 
Blackhawk144
Posts: 769
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 10:41 am

Absolutely hirlairious, SOAC! Thanks for making my day!

Anthony
Time is the best of all teachers. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students!
 
aaflt1871
Posts: 2166
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:57 am

Thanks for the laugh.
Where did everybody go?
 
searpqx
Posts: 4173
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2000 10:36 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 12:03 pm

This made the rounds at AA back in the early 90s, there was a copy hanging outside of just about every cube - especially the product developers.

Sighhhh - I'm old aren't I?
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
antiuser
Posts: 646
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 9:43 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:49 pm

Quoting Centrair (Reply 13):
Not to mention if Apple made a plane it would have great design and better user interface for all who worked on it. Not to mention iPod ports and iTunes in the IFE.

But the Apple iPlane would cost 5 times more than its slightly uglier competitor that does exactly the same thing, and would only have a yoke/stick for the pilot. If you want one for the co-pilot, you'd need to buy it from a different company.

Antiuser
G4 Powerbook and Dual G5 Power Macintosh owner
Immune to the Steve Jobs Reality Distortion Field ™
:D
Azzurri Campioni del Mondo!
 
aviationwiz
Posts: 882
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 6:12 pm

Quoting Centrair (Reply 13):

Not to mention if Apple made a plane it would have great design and better user interface for all who worked on it. Not to mention iPod ports and iTunes in the IFE.

Yes, but the speakers that came with the iPlane would suck, so you would have to buy your own if you wanted good audio quality.

Aviationwiz
-PowerMac G5 Owner
The built in speakers on them simply suck
Proudly from the Home of the Red Tail.
 
startknob
Posts: 148
Joined: Tue May 11, 2004 11:43 pm

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:09 pm

12 - For the enjoyment of the passengers the IFE downloads regulary new games and films in flight. Unfortunately some malware, viruses and spyware are grabbed also by this undocumented and unstoppable "feature". So usually passengers loosing their CC data and get their accounts robbed. Occasionally the aircraft then diverts as it is remote controlled.

13 - Due to a sign error in the board computers (the earth was modeled as a disk) when crossing the equator the aircraft performs an instant 180 degree half roll and keeps on flying upside down on its back in accurate speed and course.

14 - The FADEC shuts down one engine with an exception error about twice a week.

15 - The autoland feature has a harmless bug that on approach at a flight height of 2003, 2000, 98 and 95 feet asks the cockpit crew "Abort? Retry? Ignore?"

16 - When too much bleed air is used for the AC packs in order to prevent fainting passengers with engines performing on 80% or more there is a remarkable slowdown in all systems. Coffee needs 2-3 min. longer, cabin light dims a little, the audio and video streams of the IFE are scattered and flight controls experience a delay in reaction time between one second and around one minute.

 Wink
When playing cat and mice it's imperative to know, who's the cat.
 
dan2002
Posts: 2024
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2002 7:11 am

RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:29 pm

17 - You catch the FO watching p0rn he downloaded off Kazaa.

18 - The next version of the airplane is called Longhorn. It is supposed to be more efficient and fix alot of problems in previous models, but it was packed with too many features. Its supposed to bigger and better, yet the launch date seems to be moved back quite often. (i.e A380/Longhorn).

19 - You see the captain surfing airliners.net instead of waching the FMC.



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-Dan
A guy asks 'What's Punk?'. I kick over a trash can and its punk. He knocks over a trash can and its trendy.
 
PPVRA
Posts: 7878
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Thu Jul 21, 2005 6:16 am

Quoting Antiuser (Reply 20):
and would only have a yoke/stick for the pilot.

Yoke or stick?

It's an X-BOX controller:



 Big grin

That way the pilots can sit back and relax in a big confy couch, and by doing so, improving safety as stress levels are reduced. They just need to be careful not to sit too far back and pull the cables dropping the console on the deck.

They also will need to re-caliber the controllers ever so often when they realize that instead of landing on runway XXL, they end up on XXR or on the highway parallel to the airport.

PPVRA
"If goods do not cross borders, soldiers will" - Frederic Bastiat
 
JetHost
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Thu Jul 21, 2005 6:21 am

LOL! Very funny lol!
Thanks, Philip :)
 
SWISSER
Posts: 1568
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Thu Jul 21, 2005 10:30 am

[quote=Dan2002,reply=23]17 - You catch the FO watching p0rn he downloaded off Kazaa.

18 - The next version of the airplane is called Longhorn. It is supposed to be more efficient and fix alot of problems in previous models, but it was packed with too many features. Its supposed to bigger and better, yet the launch date seems to be moved back quite often. (i.e A380/Longhorn).

19 - You see the captain surfing airliners.net instead of waching the FMC.



View Large View Medium
Click here for bigger photo!

Photo © Royal S King




I love the Triple 7, but NO WAY i'am getting onto N5017V !!!! LOL!
What time is top of descent?
 
startknob
Posts: 148
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Thu Jul 21, 2005 3:13 pm

..seeing all these pics of a 777 cockpit reveals IMHO two things:

(1) #18 is right: Longhorn is already here. Just look to the two dominant long horns!

(2) Seemingly a Windows invasion already took place: "Windows for Cockpit crews" was switched from front and side glass windows to look thru into TFT Windows boxes in a glass cockpit.
Old application: Looking out - New Application: Outlook.

I must really state that I have no WORDs for the EXCELlence of this decision because
STOP ERROR PAGED_MEMEORY_ERROR (0x000028F). Dumping memory...
Please reboot system or ask your Admin.
When playing cat and mice it's imperative to know, who's the cat.
 
User avatar
Vasu
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RE: Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)

Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:59 am

lol very nice...

in addition to this, with a click of a button, the captain would be able to change the wallpaper on the outside of his jet (actually, that's quite cool)

Although having unwanted ads popping up above the seat in front would be rather annoying...

Lastly, the wireless ATC network connection would frequently crash, and the voice on the pilot's headphones would ask him to repair it! (a joke for anyone with a wireless network as erratic as mine!)

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