SWA Joke!

Sun May 07, 2000 3:36 pm



"Southwest Reveals Training Program"

>Southwest Airlines has announced a new training program for all its 737 pilots, following last month's unintended off-airport excursion at Burbank.
"We think we have the finest airplane pilots in the business," said President Herb Kelleher. "Some are better than others, of course, but that's life. However, we're initiating a new training program and updating our simulators to include all Chevron stations at every airport we fly to."
Kelleher said the mandatory training syllabus will also include:

* How to tell where the runway begins and ends.
*The difference between a Chevron station and the terminal.
*Why a three degree glideslope angle is less steep than six degrees and why its important.
*Preprinted FAA report forms with checkboxes for a) landed long, b) landed short, c) no one was hurt, much.
* How to read an airspeed indicator (with extra credit for knowing knots and miles are different).
*Why approach plate information is not optional.
*Just exactly what "Go Around" means.

You've gotta admit that summoned a smile   (even all you SWA fanatics)  
I have nothing against SWA, they are a great budget airline!

Back To The Drawing Board!

Sun May 07, 2000 3:44 pm

This joke is in no way funny, has anyone everytold you a good joke needs 2 main things:


I am afraid to say your joke has neither, I know why you witheld your email address because you know you would get emails such as this.


RE: Back To The Drawing Board!

Sun May 07, 2000 3:48 pm

I'm sorry you feel that way, cy315. I got THE joke, (not MY joke) from my operations (LAXFO)
I'm sorry for posting it, I suppose it is only amusing to us pilots who have nothing to do on a 5 hour layover than check weather and our bulletin boards   (again, you'd need to be a commercial pilot to understand)

RE: SWA Joke!

Sun May 07, 2000 3:54 pm

Well Timobear, it's not that I hate you for the joke, don't think that. But you have to admit, if that aircraft hadn't stopped, you wouldn't be laughing, would you?

RE: SWA Joke!

Sun May 07, 2000 3:58 pm

not at all, swa. I am a pilot and realize potential dangers every time I fly. Life is definatly sacred. That piece of humor (which I now understand only pilots can laugh at) is poking a "fun" stab at SWA. It happens to all of us airlines at some point.
Your point is valid, I went to the Alaska Airlines Funeral - I understand the tone of Avaition tragedy, believe me. thanks for your insight
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RE: SWA Joke!

Sun May 07, 2000 4:15 pm

So, it's official. I'm the only one else in this forum with a sense of humor. Get off your high horses and give it a rest, guys.
The last of the famous international playboys
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 6:51 am

i am not a pilot and i think it is hilarious! got anymore?!
Give me a break, I created this username when I was a kid...
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Mon May 08, 2000 7:20 am

just laugh at what is funny please. no need to get mad. you guys really need to grow thicker skin if a joke against an airline you like really offends you  

RE: Tranquilo

Mon May 08, 2000 7:32 am

I agree with Bacardi182... ya'll really need to get a sense of humor. It's just an airline!
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 7:43 am

I for one, thought it was pretty funny!

"If that aircraft hadn't stopped, you wouldn't be laughing, would you?" I wouldn't be laughing at the situation, but I would be laughing at the joke. I'll bet you told a million of those "OJ Simpson" jokes when that happened, SW737!


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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 7:47 am

Great joke!

« On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux » Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 7:47 am

I must say I love that joke!  
Got any more?

Jeremiah Teahan
Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 7:48 am

I think it's very funny!!!      

Awwwwwwwww, were all you wittle SWA fans offened??? You poor wittle babies.

If all of you who got offended got so offended about an airline joke (SWA at that) I wonder what you would do if somone made a joke about something personal.
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 8:15 am


Thanks for the injection of humor into this forum!

Everybody else: Even if the SWA incident had been worse, sometimes jokes are needed to ease the pain a little bit. I still remember all of the Space Shuttle Challenger jokes that went around after that tragedy over ten years ago. At first I was offended, but then I realized that telling jokes for some people is a human defense mechanism for some, it helps some people forget about the pain. To each his/her own!

RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 8:42 am

I NEVER said it offended me, learn to read guys!!! I was merely suggesting that if the unthinkable had happened, it wouldn't be very funny, now would it? I can I see I am the only one (except for Timobear) who can show compassion to the unfortunate. How many of you have been in an incident, hmmm? I have, and it's not funny. You may tell me to "lighten up", but when you look out your window just to time to see the rear of your engine explode, the last thing you want to think about is how to "lighten up" a bit. I'm sorry you all feel the way you do. Please forgive me for my ablity to show feeling.
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 8:54 am

In the words of ABC News' reporter, John Stossel, "GIVE ME A BREAK".


RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 8:59 am

Oh? And what's wrong with that?
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 9:07 am

"Get down off that cross 'cause somebody else needs the wood."


RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 9:19 am

Oh grow up already. Just wait until you're in a crash, see how funny you think it is then.

RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 9:22 am

Your actions completely prove my point, you have no sense of sympathy.
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 9:23 am

Like I said before, I'd be laughing at the joke, not at the situation.


RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 9:28 am

Fair enough, what say we just leave it at that?
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RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 9:30 am



RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 9:31 am

Stop that!  
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SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 12:45 pm

I do agree that that joke may not be in "taste." But I do agree that some will find it funny, and some will not (i found it to be humorous, because I almost killed my flight instructon on two different short-fields ops. BUT, that's a different story).

If you want something funny there is a joke in this May issue of "Airways" in the debrief section; check it out. Its about a dog named co-pilot (Airways has some good humor in their monthly debrief). (sorry it is i really want to but can share it.) Boarders carries the magazine (and I know that 60% of the people on this board most likely subscribes anyway).

RE: SWA Joke!

Mon May 08, 2000 2:25 pm

Thanks for all your support/understanding guys. I didn't post this joke to stir up anger, I just thought it was cute.

_ Timobear_
Posts: 160
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Tue May 09, 2000 1:16 am

I've got to tell you I found your post funny. You warned those who would take offense plenty of times not to lecture you. Some people just don't listen, you know? I posted a similar joke a couple of weeks ago, and got hardly a response. I'm glad to see you could get more feedback.

In case you missed it, my Topic was :SW Pilots to Strike! In the body I wrote, "They demand longer runways."  

Send more if you get them!
John Hancock

RE: SWA Joke!

Tue May 09, 2000 4:10 pm

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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2000 11:05 am

RE: SWA Joke!

Tue May 09, 2000 6:22 pm

Nice Joke
Here is a true funny story.
Some years ago there was a pilot on Olympic Airways (he was flying B-727's, and I don't know whether he is still on service) whose last name was (in greek.. Haros) .......Death.
Imagine all the scary ladies reactions on a flight when the FA says: "Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the Pilot Mr. Death and the crew , we welcome you to flight OAxxx , and we hope that you will have an unforgetable journey"
I haerd (I don't know whether this is true or not) that a lady wanted to get off the plane while it was taxiing, after she heard that announcement. :-0
However the pilot was one of the best I heard.
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RE: SWA Joke!

Tue May 09, 2000 9:52 pm

all, please! laugh at the joke, not at the incident. remember the saying "thier not laughing at you, but at what you did...."


Thu May 11, 2000 3:05 am

I could see where a name like that could upset some people!  

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