AF on CDG to MIA is pretty bad. So bad that I was thinking that maybe AF makes an effort to punish French pleasure-seekers who go to America instead of to Marseilles or Nice
. Let me make a list of how they offended me when I took that route this summer.
1) Extremely crowded departure area with lots of unwashed French people in summer. Yuck. But it's not AF's fault, it's a general flaw of France. Before the Francophiles lay into me, I'd like to say that America has its flaws too. But they don't include the bad smell flaw in quite so much frequency.
2) Aircraft was delayed for three hours while they boarded standby pax, then decided that they didn't want them aboard. Confusion ensued.
3) Aircraft was a 747-100; clean but falling apart and dingy.
4) Aloof flight attendants. They didn't want to DO anything; get people drinks, serve the food (which was of average quality). However they were stylishly dressed; AF flight attendants are the second cutest in the sky.
5) The movie projector didn't work well and nobody put down their shades.
6) When we got to MIA, my sister didn't have her baggage. It was the second time AF had lost our bags. As a matter of fact there was a whole group of poor Germans from Cologne who lost their bags.
7) Nobody was at the counter to take care of the folks who had lost their bags. They were giving out amenity packs instead of money to buy new underwear. Significantly, the amenity packs did not include any drawers or panties. Only a T-shirt.... Gross... especially if you're German and I felt even more pity for them than my sister. Luckily for us and our revenge plans (which are revealed later, keep reading), their non-English speaking employees gave us four amenity packs.
8) They didn't get our bags to us until two weeks later, when we got home. Fortunately, since this was the second time my sister had lost her baggage, we just told AF to send the bags home instead of to our hotel in Orlando.
9) Guess what the T-shirt had on it? It was plain white and said "Air France". So you advertise the airline that lost your luggage?
The denouement: My family and I stopped in a Wal-Mart on our way to Orlando and bought some clothes and a big black marker. Then we modified the shirts to say
AIR FRANCE SUCKS!!!!!!
and wore the T-shirts to Universal Studios.