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Posts: 49
Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2001 8:12 am

Ground Crew And Pilot Humor

Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:36 am

Hi Everyone,
Got this sent to me a while back. Thought you'd might enjoy it after seeing the ATC and Pilot humor:

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the
problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the
next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 10:26 am

RE: Ground Crew And Pilot Humor

Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:40 am

Hey. Check out the thread on "Atc to pilot humor"
Posts: 120
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:08 am

RE: Ground Crew And Pilot Humor

Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:40 am

Read the other thread...
"To hell with a Ferrari...give me a Super 70!"
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Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:19 pm

RE: Ground Crew And Pilot Humor

Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:46 am

 rotfl  that was funny as ever, and different from the usual ATC humour.
Thanks for the post
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RE: Ground Crew And Pilot Humor

Wed Apr 12, 2006 3:24 pm

Old Topic.But fun to read always.
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)