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Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 11:35 pm

F/A Announcements

Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:59 am

Just read some of the funny comments people have heard on in-flight Channel 9 (pilots to ATC, etc.) and remembere some good F/A announcements I have personally heard along the way:

Trans-Texas Airlines (about 1968-1970) DC-3 about to depart DFW for San Angelo. Only two or three pax and 1 female F/A:
F/A: "Okay, boys, fasten your lap straps! Big Daddy's up front and we goin' for a ride!"

Southwest Airlines (2004) B-737 after landing at Las Vegas and while still taxiing to the gate:
Female F/A: "Please keep your seat belts fastened and remain seated until the aircraft comes to a complete stop."
A few moments later, before arriving at the gate, several pax are standing up, getting things from the overhead bins, etc.
Female F/A (in a stern voice): "Uh uh uh! I hear clicking..."
Absolute silence enveloped the cabin until we parked, the front door was opened, and until that same F/A said:
"Okay, you can get up now."

Southwest Airlines (circa 2002) during pre-takeoff pax briefing:
Female F/A: "The exit doors are located at the front and back of the cabin and over the wings. If you are sitting in a seat next to the emergency exit and you just don't feel like doing anything today, please find a seat in another part of the cabin."
"There may be old pilots, and there may be bold pilots, but there are darn few green cows"
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RE: F/A Announcements

Wed Oct 11, 2006 3:03 am

"From the flight deck, thank you for flying xyz alirlines. We're pleased to have some of the most professional flight attendants in the industry. [pause/beat] Unfourtinately, none of them are on this flight."

I think I screwed up the wording but that was the gist of it.

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RE: F/A Announcements

Wed Oct 11, 2006 3:57 am

One I have used in the past when has been a hard and windy landing:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, now the Captain has finished engraving his initials into the runway, welcome to ........."

Generally gets a laugh.
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RE: F/A Announcements

Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:13 am

After the 3rd in a series of F/A and flight deck updates on a maint. issue while sitting on an IAH-PHL flight last summer.....90 minutes or so into our "maint will have an update in 15 minutes", some 30 minutes later the F/A keys the mic and askes a very simple question, "is there anyone on board who can tell me just how long a maint. minute is actually is? Please ring your F/A call button if you do!" We ended up changing aircraft.
Any views shared are strictly my own and do not a represent those of any former employer.
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RE: F/A Announcements

Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:27 am

I am protecting the names of the f/a's involved...simply because I can't remember them:

"Ladies and gentlemen, if there is anything we can do to make your flight more comfortable, please don't hesitate to call upon Julie as Sally and myself are just too darn tired and cranky!"

My partner and I were the only two that laughed out loud. We got free Direct TV from the f/a's because we proved we were actually listening!!

It pays to pay attention!!
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