Dr.DTW
Topic Author
Posts: 246
Joined: Thu May 25, 2000 1:13 pm

Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 2:49 pm

The following is conversation between Chicago Center (CC) and American flight 50 (DFW-LGW), over central Illinois on Wednesday, May 23. I heard the conversation on United's channel 9, as I was heading from San Diego to ORD.

CC: American 50 heavy, reduce speed to two-six-zero.

AA: Uh..American 50 heavy, we can't slow to that speed at this altitude.

CC: American 50 heavy roger...descent and maintain flight level two-four-zero, and reduce speed to two-six-zero.

AA: Ok....what is the reason for decsent?

CC: In-trail spacing.

AA: Ok Ma'am....we're going to London, England.

(pause)

CC: American 50 heavy roger, maintain flight level three-three-zero, and resume normal air speed.

AA: American 50 heavy roger (laughing)

CC: And American 50 heavy, I'm sorry about that.

AA: It's OK (laughing)
 
airtran737
Posts: 3217
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 3:47 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 2:53 pm

Seems just like an oversight error. There are funnier things to be heard on ATC. A lot of time I will use the following:

ME: JAX Center, Cherokee 5248W keeping it real at 8,000

or

ME: JAX Center, Cherokee 5248W living the dream at 8,0000

Substitute the controlling agency

[Edited 2007-05-26 07:54:39]
Nice Trip Report!!! Great Pics, thanks for posting!!!! B747Forever
 
n710ps
Posts: 1117
Joined: Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:09 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 3:12 pm

I overheard this once at SRQ while in the departure que for a 14 departure behind a Delta MD-88 and a skyhawk

I do not recall the callsign but a kingair was on final and they called in something like this

Kingair xxx land and hold short of 22 for departing traffic

and unknown pilot on the frequency chimed in and said yeah that is what your wife says you do. (I assume to the controller) The controller came back and simply asked for a repeat. The kingair crew kind of chuckled as they read back clearnce. I was laughing soo hard my face was blue.
There is plenty of room for Gods animals, right next to the mashed potatoes!
 
luketenley
Posts: 415
Joined: Sat Jul 29, 2006 12:51 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 3:16 pm

That's pretty funny. I wonder what the ATC controller at CC was thinking about?
Pittsburgh International Airport lover
 
SkyexRamper
Posts: 1952
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:17 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 3:28 pm

Quoting AirTran737 (Reply 1):
ME: JAX Center, Cherokee 5248W keeping it real at 8,000

I'll have to remember this..ehhe..
Good Luck to all Skyway Pilots! It's been great working with you!
 
n53614
Posts: 163
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 6:52 pm

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 7:02 pm

I love random/funny exchanges with ATC! That AA crew must have been really confused for a sec...

I was on a cross-country flight from Reid-Hillview (KRHV) to Columbia (O28) and I heard a Bonanza say something funny...

Bonanza: Mornin' NorCal, Bonanza N*** request flight following from (unk. airport) to (unk. airport)...
NorCal: Roger, and is that a non-stop flight?
Bonanza: Yessir, non-stop WITH peanuts!

Also said some silly stuff...

I was coming back from a Baytour; NorCal handed me off to SFO tower.

me: SFO Tower, Skyhawk 53614 level 2000 VFR Reid-Hillview
SFO: Roger 614, caution deparing United 747 off 28R, report traffic in sight
me: 614, roger, I got Big Mama in sight...
B722 B732 B733 B734 B735 B73G B738 B739 B742 B752 B763 B772 A319 A320 A332 CRJ2 DHC8 DH8D E135 E140 E145 MD83
 
flyXJT
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2004 8:52 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 8:20 pm

Quoting AirTran737 (Reply 1):
ME: JAX Center, Cherokee 5248W living the dream at 8,0000

Holy sh*t thats high.
 
airtran737
Posts: 3217
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 3:47 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 8:22 pm

Quoting FlyXJT (Reply 6):
Holy sh*t thats high.

That is in the Cherokee model with JATO that keeps it at high altitude. It gets a bit tigh in ther with our space suits on, but we manage.
Nice Trip Report!!! Great Pics, thanks for posting!!!! B747Forever
 
n53614
Posts: 163
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 6:52 pm

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 8:27 pm

Quoting AirTran737 (Reply 7):
That is in the Cherokee model with JATO that keeps it at high altitude. It gets a bit tigh in ther with our space suits on, but we manage.

Gonna need a ton of JATO to keep a Cherokee that high...

 Smile
B722 B732 B733 B734 B735 B73G B738 B739 B742 B752 B763 B772 A319 A320 A332 CRJ2 DHC8 DH8D E135 E140 E145 MD83
 
flyXJT
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2004 8:52 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 8:27 pm

You'd think the JATO would be more useful at C89  Smile
 
NBGSkyGod
Posts: 807
Joined: Sun May 30, 2004 7:30 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 8:28 pm

I was working a flight of A10s in the traffic pattern and had a Beaver check in for a transition from north to south.

TWR: Beaver 123, traffic in left closed runway 4, a flight of 2 hogs.
Beaver123 (in thick cajun drawl): roger we're looking for the hogs.
TWR: Cajun 41 flight, traffic 5 north southbound at or below 500.
Cajun41: roger we're looking for the beaver.
TWR: Aren't we all.
Pilots are idots, who at any given moment will attempt to kill themselves or others.
 
Sketty222
Posts: 904
Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 6:36 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 9:15 pm

Quoting Nbgskygod (Reply 10):
TWR: Beaver 123, traffic in left closed runway 4, a flight of 2 hogs.
Beaver123 (in thick cajun drawl): roger we're looking for the hogs.
TWR: Cajun 41 flight, traffic 5 north southbound at or below 500.
Cajun41: roger we're looking for the beaver.
TWR: Aren't we all.

Yes we are  Smile
There's flying and then there's flying
 
PC12Fan
Posts: 1968
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 11:50 pm

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sat May 26, 2007 11:07 pm

I don't remember the exact wording but one of my favorite exchanges went something like this; again, I don't remember all the details, so I'll substitute a few things.

- Kansas City Center, this is Piper 123AB, could I get a ground speed reading please?
- Piper 123AB, we are reading a ground speed of 160 knots sir.
(an F-18 pilot heard this exchange and decided to be a wise crack)
- Kansas City Center, this is F-18 Red One, could I get a ground speed reading please?
- Red One, we reading a ground speed of 600 kts sir.
(unknown to the F-18 pilot, an SR-71 was also in the area)
- Kansas City Center, this is SR-71 Alpha One, could I get a ground speed reading please?
- SR-71 Alpha One, we are reading a ground speed of 1800 kts sir.
There were no further requests for ground speed readings.  cool 
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep talkin'!
 
PGNCS
Posts: 2249
Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:07 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 12:57 am

Quoting Luketenley (Reply 3):
That's pretty funny. I wonder what the ATC controller at CC was thinking about?

The controller was assuming that an American airplane eastbound approaching ORD would land at ORD, like the majority of such aircraft in his or her sector will. A moment's study of the data would have revealed the actual destination, but the crew called it to his or her attention first. People make mistakes out of habit, especially when they are busy. This is, by the way, is not that uncommon, and happens to me a couple of times a year when I am overflying one of my company hubs.
 
flyf15
Posts: 6633
Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 11:10 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 1:04 am

I don't really like unofficial communication over ATC frequencies... but every once in a while it can be appropriate.

Once heard on the ground a CRJ taxiing parallel to a Northwest DC-9 for departure. The exchange went somewhat like this...

Ground: "NW 123, you're following the CRJ to your left"
NW 123: "Roger, we're behind the smurf jet, NW 123"
CRJ: "Well, my airplane might be a smurf jet, but at least it doesn't qualify for AARP membership"

The frequency was completely silent afterwards... it was hilarious.
 
airtran737
Posts: 3217
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 3:47 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 1:08 am

Quoting FlyXJT (Reply 9):
You'd think the JATO would be more useful at C89

I found an airport down here in Atlanta that puts C89 to shame. It is called Berry Hill Airport and has a displaced threshold on both ends with 100 ft trees within 700 ft from the end of the runway. At a whopping 3,000 ft it gets pretty scarry when the density altitude is over 2,500 on a 85 degree day.
Nice Trip Report!!! Great Pics, thanks for posting!!!! B747Forever
 
SkyexRamper
Posts: 1952
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:17 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 1:22 am

Quoting AirTran737 (Reply 15):
It is called Berry Hill Airport and has a displaced threshold on both ends with 100 ft trees within 700 ft from the end of the runway.

Big version: Width: 240 Height: 180 File size: 9kb


YIKES!

(I was level 3000')

SDF APR: Cessna 63**4 what's your flight visiblity

Cessna 63**4: I'm in solid IFR, zero/zero

SDF APR: **4 say again?

Cessna 63**4: I can't see past my cowling.

SDF APR: ok, thanks.

Cessna 63**4: Whats it by you?

SDF APR: OVC 3500

Cessna 63**4: Oh, lucky you.
Good Luck to all Skyway Pilots! It's been great working with you!
 
v1valarob
Posts: 42
Joined: Thu Jan 18, 2007 4:36 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 5:29 am

Yesterday going to ocean city, listening in on Patuxent Approach:

Approach: NXXXX you have traffic to your 1 o'clock same altitude, 4miles
NXXXX: Looking for traffic.
about a minute later.....
NXXXX: Patuxent, where is the traffic currently.
Approach: same altitude about 3 miles
NXXXX: Which direction?
Approach: Your direction...

My mom and I started laughing,.. hope the aircraft saw the traffic before noise abatment procedures went into effect.

-Rob

[Edited 2007-05-26 22:30:40]
 
OGGFBORefueler
Posts: 66
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 7:27 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 5:44 am

Quoting Flyf15 (Reply 14):

Mang you got a classic ATC tale...I love it!!!  rotfl 

Aloha!
Keone
BPA Emp#0254/AOA Badge#69879
 
T773ER
Posts: 232
Joined: Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:13 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 6:24 am

The story goes: It was a slow afternoon on the freq around socal. Center gets a call from Nxxx requesting FL600. Figuring it was some airline guy being funny, the controller says " If you can get there, you can have it". The guy says " Roger, desending to FL600". It was an SR-71. The freq. got pretty quiet for a few minutes.
"Fixed fortifications are monuments to the stupidity of man."
 
katwspotter
Posts: 104
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:27 pm

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 6:39 am

I have heard this one from a pilot being smart alec...

CTR: Citation 123AB, say altitude.
123AB: Altitude
CTR: Citation 123AB, say airspeed.
123AB: Airspeed.
CTR: Citation 123AB, say cancel IFR.
123AB: FL240 doing 280kts
A/C I have worked in ATW - SF340 E145 CRJ2/7/9 DC93/4/5 A319/20 MD83 B738 B752/3 B763/4 A333
 
EWS
Posts: 3369
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:41 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 6:39 am

I once heard 3 american hercs over north lincolnshire radio up humberside tower.. "humberside tower, eagle 154 request heading change from 350 to 370" .. "eagle 154, turn right heading 010" "humberside tower, eagle 154 requesting 37.. ahhhhh shit"

 rotf 

Lew
 
bingo
Posts: 278
Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:08 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 7:17 am

A month or so ago during the noon arrival rush into EWR I heard approach clearing a taxi way for a medical emergency. When they advised the flight he could land and hit "X" taxi way someone chimed in on the freq and said, Ill take "X" taxi way too. The tower came back and said no hes got a medical emergency...The same person came back and said well I've got to pee really bad isnt that an emergency? The frequency went silent for about a min...No one found it cute but I was cracking up....
 
2H4
Posts: 7960
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 11:11 pm

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 7:34 am




Quoting AirTran737 (Reply 7):
That is in the Cherokee model with JATO

You laugh, but it's been done with an Ercoupe:

http://i18.tinypic.com/4ke28oz.jpg


2H4

Intentionally Left Blank
 
Boston92
Posts: 2553
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:56 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 7:42 am

One recent one at ORD (right after the superbowl)

UA: United xxx request taxi.

TWR: Taxi to and hold short of xx via x x x x

UA: [readback]

TWR: United xxx, where you off to this afternoon?

UA: Indianapolis

TWR: [serious voice] Attn all on frequency: please clear your current taxiway or runway so we can get United xxx off our turf asap.
"Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?"
 
PILOTALLEN
Posts: 634
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 1999 11:01 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 7:44 am

I just read this on some aviation website but it goes something like this:


Approach: Cherokee 123AB I need to keep you a bit high over the glideslope, will you be able to come down quick enough?


Cherokee: Sure thing, this plane comes down like a Bonanza full of Doctors....




I liked it.
Thats not flying, thats falling with style -Woody
 
christiaan
Posts: 68
Joined: Sat May 15, 2004 3:17 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 7:48 am

Re: AAL 50 @ ZAU.
Probably working a large arrival rush from the SW and misinterpreted the info, no big deal.
I've heard MANY funny things over the years as a Pilot and ATC at ZAU, some i've probably said myself!!  Smile
Cheers,
Christiaan
"Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities" Frank Lloyd Wright 1932
 
MCOflyer
Posts: 7069
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 5:51 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 8:20 am

Quoting Flyf15 (Reply 14):

Ground: "NW 123, you're following the CRJ to your left"
NW 123: "Roger, we're behind the smurf jet, NW 123"
CRJ: "Well, my airplane might be a smurf jet, but at least it doesn't qualify for AARP membership"

Good one.

From Airways mag.

PIT Ground: Delta 1120 follow hooters plane to 28
Delta 1120: (in a fake southern drawl)Been doin that for a while but it gets me in trouble with the wife.

Hunter
Never be afraid to stand up for who you are.
 
sixtyseven
Posts: 379
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 9:42 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 8:40 am

Overheard while switching to Heathrow Control.

BA:"Control Speedbird XXX..... you are aware we have the queen on board? we will not be excepting any holds...."

ATC: "Speedbird XXX we are certainly aware you are on vectors two-seven right."

Thought it was all over until.....

AA "Control American XXX............ We have TWO QUEENS on board..... they're working first class......."

A little off color but most humorous after being up all nite on the crossing.
Stand-by for new ATIS message......
 
rwy04lga
Posts: 1976
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:21 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 9:28 am

A C-5 pulls off the active at FRA and taxis behind a UA 747. The C-5 c/o then asks the captain of the smaller 747, 'Hey little buddy, what's your gross?' Not to be outdone, the UA c/o replies 'About 200,000 a year, how about you?'

Another one at FRA...a BOAC c/o was having difficulty taxiing and kept asking for directions. An obviouly perturbed german controller shouts back 'Have you never been to Frankfurt before?!?!?" Tha BOAC c/o replies 'Yes, but it was 40 years ago, at night, and we didn't stop!'

Both are true incidents.
Just accept that some days, you're the pigeon, and other days the statue
 
thepilot
Posts: 1191
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:34 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 11:34 am

Last July, I was coming in to runway 31L (the big one) at Boeing Field, and we had about 5 corporate jets lined up on final, so the exchange went like this,

Tower: Cessna 174 golf foxtrot, I got 5 jets lined up, either you can continue downwind to Mt. Rainier or I can cut you in front of this Citation and send you over to the right.
Me: Roger, let's do that, 4 golf foxtrot
Tower: Cessna 4 golf foxtrot, start left base, you're number one, runway 31R, cleared to land.
Me: Cleared to land on the right, thanks, Cessna 4 golf foxtrot. I'll stay a little high.
Citation: Woah, look at that cessna cut in front of us. My formation buddy.
a little silence.
Tower: Citation XXX, hold short of runway 31R for landing traffic.
Citation: Hold short 31R, damn you're letting my formation buddy beat me to the ramp?
Tower: Yeah, you know guys the Blue Angels are holding tryouts next week, you should show up.


Another one.

Cessna: Boeing tower, Cessna XXX over Bellevue, we have Whiskey.
Tower: Cessna XXX, enter left base, runway 13L, report hospital.
Cessna: Roger. (with mic still on) Dude I was in Bellevue last Saturday, this girl Ashley was smoking hot! You know her? No way man! That is awesome.
Tower: Cessna XXX you're still on tower, attention all aircraft, has anyone else met this smoking hot Ashley!
Pilot1: That's affermative
Pilot2: Affermative
Pilot3: I tapped that!

I was so friggin funny! I was on the ground waiting to take off. My instructor and I were laughing so hard.

Over at PWT.

Student pilot: Bremerton traffic, Cessna XXX taxiing to runway 19, this is my first solo.
Me: Hey cheers man! Congratulations!
Other pilot: Hey n00b, don't forget, on your touch and goes, those bounces only count as one landing.
Student pilot: Really?
Other pilot: I'm just kidding man! Congrats!

Final one.

Me: Whidbey approach, Cessna 97 papa delta checking in, level 1,500.
Approach: Cessna 97 papa delta, Whidbey approach, roger, what's the cloud levels?
Me: I would say 2000 broken to overcast, 7 papa delta.
Approach: Roger, let us know if those clouds come in hard.
Unknown Pilot: That's what she said!
Silence, we were all laughing are ass off.
From YVR
 
nucsh
Posts: 181
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 12:29 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 1:07 pm

Quoting AirTran737 (Reply 15):
I found an airport down here in Atlanta that puts C89 to shame. It is called Berry Hill Airport and has a displaced threshold on both ends with 100 ft trees within 700 ft from the end of the runway. At a whopping 3,000 ft it gets pretty scarry when the density altitude is over 2,500 on a 85 degree day.

Try W24 on for size.


View Large View Medium
Click here for bigger photo!

Photo © Adam Wright


View Large View Medium
Click here for bigger photo!

Photo © Adam Wright



We do flight training out of W24 at my university. I'll have to take a photo from downwind next time I head up for a lesson - there's a 100ft (ish) difference in ground level between the two ends of the runway.
If landing is about "kissing" the ground, you just about raped it.
 
graphic
Posts: 1293
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:41 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 1:15 pm

Quoting Rwy04LGA (Reply 29):
BOAC c/o was having difficulty taxiing and kept asking for directions. An obviouly perturbed german controller shouts back 'Have you never been to Frankfurt before?!?!?" Tha BOAC c/o replies 'Yes, but it was 40 years ago, at night, and we didn't stop!'

BOAC in 1984?
Demand Media fails at life
 
cancidas
Posts: 3985
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:34 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 1:30 pm

Gulfstream 8CA: Republic tower, Gulfstream 8CA is over Captree Bridge with Romeo, inbound touch-and-go.
FRG Tower: Gulfstream 8CA, say again your request?
8CA: 8CA is over Captree, inbound VFR, requesting touch-and-go.
FRG: Standby 8CA.
FRG: (after brief pause) Gulfstream 8CA, we would love to see that, report right downwind 1-9, touch-and-goes on request.
8CA: Right downwind 1-9.
8CA: Tower, 8CA is right downwind.
FRG: Roger 8CA, make short approach, cleared touch-and-go 1-9.
8CA: short approach, cleared touch-and-go.
Mooney 4681N: republic tower, Mooney 4681N is on the ILS 1-4, circle to land 1-9.
FRG: Roger Mooney 81N, proceed on the ILS approach, traffic is a touch-and-go G-5 that is in the upwind of 1-9 at the moment and will be making right traffic. Cleared missed approach, make left traffic.
81N: say again tower, touch-and-go G-5?
FRG: that's correct 81N.
81N: Uh... cleared missed approach, Mooney 81N.
81N: 81N going missed.
FRG: Roger 81N.
8CA: Tower, 8CA is right downwind, touch-and-go.
FRG: Gulfstream 8CA, you are number 2 right now behind a Mooney currently turning left base.
8CA: Number 2 behind the Mooney, 8CA.
FRG: Mooney 81N, cleared to land.
81N: Roger tower, cleared to land, 81N.
FRG: Gulfstream 8CA, cleared touch-and-go.
8CA: Cleared touch-and-go, 8CA.
8CA: Tower, 8CA is right downwind 1-9, full stop.
FRG: Is playtime over for 8CA?
8CA: For now at least, it's time to pick up the boss.
FRG: Ok then, make short approach, cleared to land.
8CA: Cleared to land, 8CA.
FRG: Gulfstream 8CA, contact ground on .6, good day. You can tell the boss we made you do that.
8CA: Roger, good day.


i've got a great one from JFK ground i'll have to transcribe one of these days, it's going to take a while though.
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
 
katwspotter
Posts: 104
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:27 pm

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 1:52 pm

Quoting Thepilot (Reply 30):
Another one.

Cessna: Boeing tower, Cessna XXX over Bellevue, we have Whiskey.
Tower: Cessna XXX, enter left base, runway 13L, report hospital.
Cessna: Roger. (with mic still on) Dude I was in Bellevue last Saturday, this girl Ashley was smoking hot! You know her? No way man! That is awesome.
Tower: Cessna XXX you're still on tower, attention all aircraft, has anyone else met this smoking hot Ashley!
Pilot1: That's affermative
Pilot2: Affermative
Pilot3: I tapped that!

lmao

 rotfl 
A/C I have worked in ATW - SF340 E145 CRJ2/7/9 DC93/4/5 A319/20 MD83 B738 B752/3 B763/4 A333
 
threepoint
Posts: 1292
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 10:49 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 1:52 pm

Quoting SkyexRamper (Reply 4):
Quoting AirTran737 (Reply 1):
ME: JAX Center, Cherokee 5248W keeping it real at 8,000
I'll have to remember this..ehhe..



Quoting N53614 (Reply 5):
me: 614, roger, I got Big Mama in sight...

Yup, the controllers will NEVER get tired of hearing that...

Quoting PC12Fan (Reply 12):
I don't remember the exact wording but one of my favorite exchanges went something like this;



Quoting Katwspotter (Reply 20):
I have heard this one from a pilot being smart alec...



Quoting Rwy04LGA (Reply 29):
Both are true incidents.

All the above are derived from various aviation quote books and/or websites, and if once true, have since been modified to reflect the preferences of the storytellers.
The nice thing about a mistake is the pleasure it gives others.
 
cancidas
Posts: 3985
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:34 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 3:41 pm

here is the one i was talking about. got bored so i transcribed it. if you want to hear it, email me. i've got 2 more from company frequencies but those'll have to wait for now

JFK GND: ..79 you’re A320 going to Phoenix, AZ.

THAI 8081: Thai 081 Heavy on Kilo, hold short Alpha.

JFK GND: Who’s the Kilo, Thai, who is that?

THAI 8081: Thai 081 Heavy.

JFK GND: Thai 8081 Heavy, left on Alpha short of Echo.

THAI 8081: Okay, left on Alpha, hold short Echo Thai 081 Heavy.

DELTA 929: Hey Ground, Delta 929, we’re on Bravo short of Victor and we just had that little corporate jet pull in front of us, and another 7-5 and though we were supposed to follow jetblue sir.

JFK GND: You were what happened?

DELTA 929: Well the corporate jet came off the runway and we couldn’t, we had to stop.

JFK GND: 808BL you didn’t follow…? 808BL?

N808BL: 808BL you told us to follow the Embraer, and that’s what we did.

JFK GND: You followed the Embraer? Jetblue 1069?

JFK GND: Somebody didn’t do something right, Jetblue 1069.

JETBLUE 1069: Yea we were sitting there waiting for the Delta to move and Delta said he was waiting for the uh corporate so we continued on and then corporate followed us and Delta was gonna follow corporate.

JFK GND: Well, you can’t just do, you can’t just do that. Alright, see this takes so much energy guys, alright. Deltas 929, (Sighs), hang on a second guy.

DELTA 929: Okay, we’re Bravo, short of Victor.

JFK GND: Yeah, right. Who, who’s Bravo short of Victor?

DELTA 929: Delta 929 sir.

JFK GND: You didn’t even move yet then, what, what, who went out of sequence here? Jetblue 1069 you’re behind the company A320?

DELTA 929: [Blocked]...Then we got stopped.

JFK GND: Hang on a second.

JFK GND: Jetblue 1069 you’re behind the company A320?

JETBLUE 1069: Yes sir.

JFK GND: I don’t know how that happened, just follow him, 8BL you’re behind the jetblue, so everybody did right. Delta 929, just follow the Hawker.

DELTA 929: Okay, well the Hawker’s two planes in front of us.
JFK GND: Great, Delta 1869 you’re behind the Hawker?

DELTA 1869: Correct:

JFK GND: Jetblue 1069 you gotta just do what I asked. Delta 929 follow the 7-5.

DELTA 929: We can do that behind the 7-5 Delta 929.

JFK GND: Delta 1867 this probably screws you up to, where are you right now?

DELTA 1867: Yes sir, we’re number 2, on Bravo, short of Victor.

JFK GND: (Sighs) you’re on Bravo, Delta 929 you were on Bravo short of Victor?

DELTA 929: That’s affirmative sir.

JFK GND: Now I’m all screwed up, Jesus jetblue! (Moans).

AEROMEXICO 403: Clearance, Aeromexico 403.

IBERIA 6252: Follow 7-50-7 right in front and advise you unable to take taxiway Charlie, Airbus 3-40-600.

JFK GND: You’re unable to do everything sir that plane of yours sir, let me see, yep you can’t go on Charlie, how nice. Go right on, god, give way to, give way to the Delta jet off your right sir, okay, actually it looks like he’s clear. So (laughs) go right on Victor, right on 13L and hold short of Zulu-Echo Iberia okay?

IBERIA 6252: Okay right Victor, 1-3 left and hold short Zulu-Echo Iberia 62-52 Heavy.

JFK GND: Jet, jetblue 707 please don’t follow Iberia, just let him go left-to-right past you and then go down Uniform and follow the line.

JETBLUE 707: Jetblue 707 wilco sir.

JFK GND: Thank you, American 1639 you’re on Bravo short of Victor?

AMERICAN 1639: Affirmative.

JFK GND: Okay Jetblue A320 off your right is gonna go, you, uh, follow him.

AMERICAN 1639: Follow Jetblue, American 1639.

JFK GND: Singapore 25 Heavy, Echo to Bravo short of Victor.

SINGAPORE 25: Echo, to Bravo, Short of Victor.

JFK GND: Evergreen?

EVERGREEN 645: Uh, roger Evergreen 645 Heavy.

JFK GND: Yeah, and call me when you’re at Victor, I gotta weed you into that alleyway somehow.

JFK GND: Hey DHL, you’re blocking Whiskey aren’t you?
DHL 152: 152 Heavy is blocking Whiskey over here and we’re on with the tower, full route clearance.

JFK GND: Yeah, I know. Evergreen 645, Whiskey is currently blocked, but Charlie-Echo is available so just so you know my plan of action is to bring you at Charlie-Echo okay?

EVERGREEN 645: Copy Evergreen 645 heavy.

JFK GND: Alright lets just make sure, hopefully that’s where you’re really gonna be going.

SINGAPORE 25: Singapore 025 Heavy, Hotel short of Alpha.

JFK GND: Jetblue 707, I’m sorry sir where’d you say you were?

JETBLUE 707: Sir we’re holding short of Echo sir.

JFK GND: Short of Echo on where?

JETBLUE 707: At Alpha sir.

JFK GND: Jetblue 707 you’re on? Oh, you’re the guy who came out of there! Okay, 707 give way to your company on your right then Echo to Bravo short of Victor.

JETBLUE 707: Echo to Bravo short of Victor and we’ll give way to company Jetblue 707.

JFK GND: Jetblue 176 if you can’t get in let me know.

JETBLUE 176: Roger, we’ll check.

JFK GND: Thank you very much.

AIR FRANCE 08: Ground, good evening, Air France 008 Hotel short of Alpha.

JFK GND: Hotel short of Alpha was who?

JFK GND: Air France 011 Heavy where are you?

AIR FRANCE 10: 10, 1-0, 10.

JFK GND: You, you’re coming out or you’re going in?

AIR FRANCE 10: Coming out Air France 10 Heavy.

JFK GND: Is that Air France 7 Heavy?

AIR FRANCE 10: Air France 10 Heavy, ready to push.

JFK GND: Air France 10 Heavy, if you wanna push in the alleyway, call your ramp for that.

AIR FRANCE 10: Okay, call the ramp, 1-1 Heavy.

UNITED 8: Ground, United 8 is Air Canada gonna get off Whiskey or do you want us to get on Alpha?

JFK GND: Air Ca…, those two Jetblues can you get by Iberia or not yet?

JFK GND: Jetblue 35, what’s the problem?

JETBLUE 35: Who do you want us to follow?

JFK GND: You’re on Bravo; you’re short of Victor-Alpha. You’re abeam the Iberia?

JETBLUE 35: We’re abeam Alitalia on the left there.

JFK GND: Abeam Alitalia? Alright just hang on.

JFK GND: Jetblue 179?

JETBLUE 179: Yes sir, we’re number 2 holding short of Victor-Alpha on Bravo.

JFK GND: Hey, who’s the first Jetblue on Bravo short of Victor-Alpha?

JETBLUE 35: 35.

JFK GND: You’re an outbound?

JETBLUE 35: Yep.

JFK GND: Oy! You guys should come up here on day. Jetblue 35 need you to pull a right up there and hold short of Victor for me.

JETBLUE 35: No, that must be somebody behind us; we’re right at Victor, 35.

JFK GND: Okay, you’re at Victor. Jetblue 179 you’re abeam the Alitalia?

JETBLUE 144: Jetblue 144 is abeam Iberia short of Victor-Alpha.

JFK GND: Okay, Jetblue 179 someone stepped on you there. You’re the first one there abeam the Iberia?

JETBLUE 179: No sir, we’re number 2, ah number 2.

JFK GND: The first one.

JETBLUE 144: The first one is Jetblue 144. We’re abeam Iberia short of Victor-Alpha.

JFK GND: Jetblue 144 you’re an inbound or an outbound?

JETBLUE 144: Inbound to Whiskey.

JFK GND: I told you to go where you are?

JETBLUE 144: Exactly.

JFK GND. I did, okay sir well, go down to Victor, you guys should come up here on day. You’d enjoy it, you’d enjoy the show. Go straight ahead and hold short of Victor, I can’t do anything else with you and what’s your numbers again?

JETBLUE 144: Jetblue 144, we totally understand, you’re doing the best you can. We’ll go up and short of Victor now Jetblue 144.

JFK GND: I’m gonna move your company in a second in front of you, once he clears come up 13L and hold short of Whiskey.

JETBLUE 144: 144, roger.

JFK GND: Yeah, come up 13L and hold short of Whiskey alright?

JETBLUE 144: Okay, understand Jetblue 144, behind company we’ll go on 1-3L and hold short of Whiskey.

JFK GND: Yea, back on the runway short of Whiskey. Alitalia 611 Heavy, make a left turn on Uniform and go around the horn. Follow the leader.

ALITALIA 611: Roger, Alitalia 611, left on Uniform, around the leader.

JFK GND: Jetblue 35 follow Alitalia.

JETBLUE 35: Follow Alitalia, Jetblue 35.

JFK GND: Now, (sigh of relief.) Jetblue 35 just to make sure you’re Bravo short of Victor right?

JETBLUE 35: Who’s that for?

JFK GND: Jetblue 35, you’re Bravo short of Victor right?

JETBLUE 35: Bravo short of Victor behind Alitalia.

JFK GND: Good, you’ll follow Alitalia. Jetblue 179 you’re the second one follow the company ahead.

JETBLUE 179: Follow the company ahead, Jetblue 179 and we’ll visit you at the duty free.

JFK GND: Not, yea I wish I could get in there, not the one in front of you; the one in front of him, the one in front of you is an arrival.

JETBLUE 179: Sounds good, we’ll follow the guy who’s following the air-Italia.

JFK GND: Air Canada 1121 follow the Jetblue off your left.

AIR CANADA 1121: Air Canada 1121.

JFK GND: Jetblue 97, follow Air Canada.

JETBLUE 97: Jetblue 97, roger.

JFK GND: Delta 929, where are ya?

DELTA 929: Alpha, short of Echo.

JFK GND: Echo to Bravo short of Whiskey, Delta 929.

DELTA 929: Alright Alpha short of Whiskey now, Delta 929.

JFK GND: That Jetblue that I put on 13L, when you come back around, can you get in at Whiskey?

JETBLUE 144: Jetblue 144 I’m gonna contact company right now find out.

JFK GND: Okay sir, though you would have known by now.

JETBLUE 144: You know what, they told us it was already empty and went and we almost turned in and almost went nose to nose.

JFK GND: The United jet that’s approaching Whiskey, can you get in?

UNITED: Yes sir, after the guy ahead of me moves on.

JFK GND: Sir you taxi into the ramp. The second Jetblue behind that United, who is that?

JETBLUE 606: That’s 606; we’re cleared in Whiskey-Alpha.

JFK GND: You’re cleared in; good you taxi into the ramp. Jetblue 144 you’re probably gonna be cleared in, so when you come around on the runway let a United go in first, you’ll see him and then you follow him in. If that doesn’t work let me know I’ll put you somewhere else short of Alpha somewhere.

JFK GND: (Laughing) Delta 1867, Kennedy Ground, 22R left on Alpha, short of Echo.

DELTA 1867: Left on Alpha, short of Echo 22R, Delta 1867.

JFK GND: Delta 1869 where are ya?

DELTA 1869: We’re just coming up on Tango-Tango on Bravo.

JFK GND: Okay, very good.

IBERIA 6252: Ground Iberia 6252 ready to taxi.

JFK GND: Who is that?

IBERIA 6252: Iberia 6252, Airbus 340-600, ready to taxi.

JFK GND: Iberia hold there you’re in the sequence.

IBERIA 6252: Holding, sequence, 6252.

JETBLUE 707: Kennedy Ground good evening, Jetblue 707 we’ve got Hotel and we’re holding short of Hotel-Alpha.

JFK GND: Who is that?

JETBLUE 707: Sir that’s jetblue 707.

JFK GND: And you’re where, and you’re doing what short of who?

JETBLUE 707: We are holding short at Alpha short of Hotel-Alpha and we’ve got Hotel.

JFK GND: I don’t have a Hotel-Alpha; you mean you’re at Hotel?

JETBLUE 707: You bet ya, sorry about that.

JFK GND: And what’s the call sign?

JETBLUE: Jetblue 7-0-7.

JFK GND: Jetblue 7-0-7, follow a delta 7-5 right-to-left on Alpha, you’ll see him in a minute but hold short of Echo.

JETBLUE 707: Hold short of Echo and we’ll follow the Delta, Jetblue 707.

JFK GND: Delta 1869 you said you were just passing Tango-Tango correct?

DELTA 1869: That’s correct.

JFK GND: Alright just want to make sure who’s who thanks.

AMERICAN 4: American 4 heavy is with you Bravo.

JFK GND: Very long sir, about an hour. At least, are you ready to taxi?

AMERICAN 4: Negative, just…

JFK GND: Don’t call me until you’re ready to taxi again please sir.

[Edited 2007-05-27 08:43:43]
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
 
futuresdpdcop
Posts: 1226
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 10:26 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 4:07 pm

Quoting Cancidas (Reply 36):
here is the one i was talking about. got bored so i transcribed it. if you want to hear it, email me. i've got 2 more from company frequencies but those'll have to wait for now

JFK GND: ..79 you’re A320 going to Phoenix, AZ.

THAI 8081: Thai 081 Heavy on Kilo, hold short Alpha.

JFK GND: Who’s the Kilo, Thai, who is that?

I just saw the Youtube video link posted for that in here within the last two weeks. It was 9 minutes or so. I really don't want to go look for the link though. I'm sure "JFK Ground" in the search bar in Youtube will pull it up. That must have taken some time to right out though.
 
LH498
Posts: 92
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 3:35 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 7:02 pm

Quoting Futuresdpdcop (Reply 37):
just saw the Youtube video link posted for that in here within the last two weeks. It was 9 minutes or so. I really don't want to go look for the link though. I'm sure "JFK Ground" in the search bar in Youtube will pull it up. That must have taken some time to right out though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUnVlyyar4M
 
IAHFLYR
Posts: 3941
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:56 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 11:18 pm

We heard the very soft lovely female voice announce XXX1444 is on a 7 mile final to 8L, any change we could get 8R tonight?  Embarrassment

What do ya say to that.......without missing a beat the controller replies with, love to accommodate your request but I'm working this evening.
Any views shared are strictly my own and do not a represent those of any former employer.
 
cancidas
Posts: 3985
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:34 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Sun May 27, 2007 11:49 pm

got two more i promised. these two i actually witnessed at work. the "tug driver" is one of our ops agents who was working overtime on the ramp one morning. he's got this thing for jimmy...


CHQ 101: Ramp, Chautauqua 101.
RAMP: And 101 go ahead sir.
Ramp: 101.
CHQ 101: Yea, is this Jimmy?
RAMP: Yes it is, how you doing?!
CHQ 101: Ah, we’re doing super; our tug driver just says you’re an imbecile.
RAMP: [Mic. keyed, entire tower staff laughing in background] He usually shows his incompetence on the tug, but today he’s downstairs showing off his incompetence.
CHQ 101: Yea that was pretty funny.




OPS: Aircraft calling times in?
COLGAN 807: Colgan 807 with times in.
OPS: 807 go right ahead with your times.
COLGAN 807: It’s, ah, 27, 33 and 1.6 on the fuel.
OPS: 2-7, 3-3 and 1-6 on the fuel.
COLGAN 807: Thank you.
OPS: You’re welcome.
CHAUTAUQUA 329: Ops, Chautauqua 329.
OPS: 329, music to my ears, go right ahead.
CHAUTAUQUA 329: Yeah, what’s the difference between the “out” and the “off” times past few times?
OPS: “Out” time is what time you left the gate and “off” is when you left the ground.
CHAUTAUQUA 329: [Chuckling] Yes ma’am, I know that. I was trying to judge how long it takes to get off the ground, past few aircraft, ah... departures.
OPS: [Laughing] Copy that, sorry about that. Uh…20 to 30 minutes.
CHAUTAUQUA 329: Okay, thank you.
OPS: [Laughing in background] I wasn’t being mean.
CHAUTAUQUA 329: [Chuckling] That’s alright, actually kind of funny.
OPS: Thank you.
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
 
InnocuousFox
Posts: 2556
Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2003 1:30 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Mon May 28, 2007 1:22 am

Quoting Futuresdpdcop (Reply 37):
That must have taken some time to right out though.

I'm thinking of doing up a version of that JFK thing with the icons on the map and moving them around as directed. Now THAT would be a cool YouTube ATC video.

Quoting IAHFLYR (Reply 39):
We heard the very soft lovely female voice announce XXX1444 is on a 7 mile final to 8L, any change we could get 8R tonight?

What do ya say to that.......without missing a beat the controller replies with, love to accommodate your request but I'm working this evening.

That one took me a second until I actually read the runways out loud.
Dave Mark - Intrinsic Algorithm - Reducing the world to mathematical equations!
 
cancidas
Posts: 3985
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:34 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Mon May 28, 2007 1:24 am

Quoting InnocuousFox (Reply 41):
Quoting Futuresdpdcop (Reply 37):
That must have taken some time to right out though.

I'm thinking of doing up a version of that JFK thing with the icons on the map and moving them around as directed. Now THAT would be a cool YouTube ATC video.

that it would.
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
 
n710ps
Posts: 1117
Joined: Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:09 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Mon May 28, 2007 2:07 am

Cancidas, would that be the ever popular Sammy?
There is plenty of room for Gods animals, right next to the mashed potatoes!
 
christiaan
Posts: 68
Joined: Sat May 15, 2004 3:17 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Mon May 28, 2007 3:50 am

I was working a high altitude sector over Chicago and talking to amongst other aircraft, a C-5.
The Galaxy was at FL350 eastbound and I had numerous FL360 ac westbound . Here is the call:

ATC: rch123, traffic 12 oclock, 10 miles, westbound, fl360, a ual757.
RCH123: roger, we have the light twin in sight.

I had three other FL360 Traffic calls for him and he respnded the same way each time.

When I swtiched the RCH to the next frequency, he was just laughing like crazy....
"Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities" Frank Lloyd Wright 1932
 
cancidas
Posts: 3985
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:34 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Mon May 28, 2007 6:20 am

Quoting Christiaan (Reply 44):
ATC: rch123, traffic 12 oclock, 10 miles, westbound, fl360, a ual757.
RCH123: roger, we have the light twin in sight.

i love it. some guys just know how to have fun!!
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
 
rwy04lga
Posts: 1976
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:21 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Mon May 28, 2007 2:04 pm

Quoting Graphic (Reply 32):
BOAC in 1984?

OK, maybe it was 30 years. I heard that a LONG time ago and and perhaps Alzheimers is starting to set in.

Quoting Threepoint (Reply 35):
All the above are derived from various aviation quote books and/or websites, and if once true, have since been modified to reflect the preferences of the storytellers.

Recollections, not preferences.
Just accept that some days, you're the pigeon, and other days the statue
 
n710ps
Posts: 1117
Joined: Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:09 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Mon May 28, 2007 2:15 pm

Quoting Threepoint (Reply 35):

Actually you are wrong, I for one do not do such things and for two I know Cancidas extremely well as I deal with him at LGA on a constant basis.
There is plenty of room for Gods animals, right next to the mashed potatoes!
 
ebs757
Posts: 618
Joined: Sat Jul 29, 2006 11:45 pm

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Tue May 29, 2007 1:49 am

I was at ORD last month and listening into CH9-

O'Hare Ground: AAXX are you ready for push?
AAXX: No sir we are still busy
O'Hare Ground: Your busy, I'm busy, welcome to O'Hare!

I'm not sure if thats exactly how it went to say the least but I saw some other regular passengers who got a kick out of it like me.
Viva la Vida
 
philb
Posts: 2645
Joined: Mon May 24, 1999 5:53 am

RE: Funny ATC Exchange..

Tue May 29, 2007 1:56 am

Heard on Shannon Radar on Saturday - a day of showers and some breeze:

Ryanair xxxx - "What's tthe waether like at Shannon now?

SNN Radar - "Can't tell you, been stuck in here for over an hour now and we don't have windows"

Ryanair xxxx - We'll try the ATIS again though it still seems to be breaking up and stopping"

SNN Radar - "Oh I can read that to you if you want me to but you asked me what the weather is like at Shannon now and it's 20 minutes old"

Assorted laughter on frequency

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