As a man of words and letters (I'll modestly proclaim), I offer the following for use by all "A v. B" combatants, as well as those who might choose to go way out on the proverbial limb, and champion an airplane built by the snowmobile guys, or the jungle guys, or the missile guys, or even the guys-who-have-never-built-a-plane-in-their-lives-but-they're-taking-orders-from-an-airline-that-doesn't-exist-yet.
This modest offering is tendered gratis, no compensation or attribution of any kind required, and I ask only that you use it in good health.
The deal is this: simply fill in the blanks with the name of your favorite (or favourite, as the case may be) airplane manufacturer (or fabrik, or whatever) and airplane and (of course), your least favorite (favourite), in the appropriate spaces, then cut and paste the finished product (and well finished it shall be, be assured) into a suitably-inflamatorily-named thread. Then, sit back, watch the fireworks fly, as all of the usual suspects rise up in righteous indignation, incensed that any cretin would dare compare their chosen aerial conveyance with the crude, dangerous and all-around-icky airplanes of the opposition.
You can even (with a little modification, the particulars of which are left to your individual taste) use this to fight about airlines; or politicians; or Ska bands, or word processing software.
It goes like this:
"I would like to settle the debate about ________ aircraft once and for all; they are clearly superior to the ____________s in all respects, having a markedly-better cabin arrangement, stronger and more durable engines, prettier wings (because they [have/don't have] winglets), and are especially safer because they are [equipped/not equipped] with fly-by-wire, and thus, [the idiot, pea-brained glorified bus drivers who claim to be skilled aircraft pilots won't be able to break the wings off at their discretion with impertinent control inputs / the titans of the sky, our invincible airplane gods, the Captains, are not compelled by the whim of egomaniacal software engineers to ride as mere passengers as their craft plane inexorably into the unyielding earth]."
"Buying, flying, looking at or riding in _________'s planes is sure the cause impotence, world hunger, famine, plague, gingivitis and the heartbreak of psoriasis. On the other hand, if you instead choose the cleverly-conceived and skillfully-manufactured aircraft of __________, you'll be younger, look better, think more clearly, have considerably better prowess with the [ladies/men/sheep] and (as an added and entirely unexpected bonus), you'll be contacted by a mysterious but earnest investigator who, after first confirming your identity through genetic mapping, will reveal that you are the long-undisclosed last beneficiary of the Last Will and Testament of Howard Hughes; that you are now richer than... well... stink; and that you now have all the resources that you might ever want or need with which to start an airline flying [777s, 74Xs, 767s and 757-LRs / A3XXs, A340s, A330s and A320s] from a hub in Branson Missouri to Bozeman, Montana, Victorville, California and Galion, Ohio, all markets just crying out for high-density service and thus far unrecognized by those short-sighted nimrods who currently run their respective airlines with no clue of what they're doing."
"Plus, [chicks/guys/ducks] are really attracted to people who prefer the planes made by _________; but are repelled by the mere mention of the laughable, unrefined ore-clods that _________ passes off as advanced transportation."
"When I grow up and graduate from school, I'm going to be a pilot and I'll only fly for an airline that buys the _________ planes, and whatever happens, I'll only fly __________s, no matter what they do in the way of fleet planning or aircraft purchases."
There. Give it a shot. If there is enough demand, we could generate a series of these articulate and well-reasoned diatribes, and simply refer to them by number to start the flame wars (e.g., Airbus #42 would mean, canned post No. 42 with Airbus dominant, etc.). We could save typing time and more of the low-bandwidth members could participate in all-out wars, without incurring excessive connect-time fees, carpal tunnel syndrome, or tardy slips in the morning for showing up to homeroom late.
...three miles from BRONS, clear for the ILS one five approach...