lamyl_hhlco
Posts: 596
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2000 8:28 am

Funny ATC

Thu Jan 18, 2001 9:56 am

Hi!
Here's some funny stuff:

Air Force One : "Requesting Radar".
"What is you position?" asked ATC
"You got radar you find us" Air Force One replied.
After a few minutes ATC announced "Air Force One we're changing frequency"
"What frequency are you changing to?" asked Air Force One
"You've got 720 channels - you find us!" ATC replied.

2/
Speedbird: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."
Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate.
The BA 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?!"
Speedbird: "Standby ground, I'm looking up the gate location now.
Ground (with typical German patience): "Speedbird, have you never been to Frankfurt before?!"
Speedbird (coolly): "Yes, in 1944, but I didn't stop."

3/
Lots of commercial aircraft are stacked up waiting for approach to O'Hare Int'l, ATC has inflicted numerous delays, and some planes are already 1-2 hours late. The WX is good, it's just that there is a traffic bottleneck somewhere. Pilots, passengers, crew are all getting quite frustrated and angry.
ATC: "All aircraft holding, expect 20 minutes additional delay."
Unknown A/C: "Ahhh . . . bullshit!"
ATC: "Aircraft making last transmission, identify yourself."
ATC: "Aircraft making last transmission, identify yourself immediately!"
ATC: "Aircraft using 'bullshit' in last transmission, identify yourself.
American 411, was that you?"
American 411: "Approach, American 411: negative on the 'bullshit,' sir."
NW 202: "Approach, NW 202: negative on the 'bullshit.'"
Delta 55: "Approach, Delta 55: negative on the 'bullshit.'"
NW 33: "Approach, NW 33: we have a negative on that 'bullshit.'"
. . . and so on, right through the entire pattern.

4/
BOAC: Heathrow Centre, British Airways Speedbird Flight 723
HC: British Airways Speedbird Flight 723, Heathrow Centre, go ahead
BOAC: Heathrow Centre, British Airways Speedbird Flight 723 has a message for you
HC: British Airways Speedbird Flight 723, Heathrow Centre is ready to copy message
BOAC: Heathrow Centre, British Airways Speedbird Flight 723, message is as follows: Mayday, Mayday, Mayday ....

5/
Lost student pilot: "Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, identify yourself."

6/
Tower : "Wind calm. No reported traffic. Use runway 32 or 14, your choice."
Pilot : "Which runway is longer?"

7/
Tower : "Have you got enough fuel or not ?"
Pilot : "Yes"
Tower : "Yes what?"
Pilot : "Yes, SIR !"

8/
First Pilot Voice : "Roger, I am holding at 3000 over NF beacon."
Second voice : "NO ! You can't be doing that ! I AM holding at 3000 over that beacon !!!
(brief pause, then first voice again) "You idiot, you're my co-pilot..."

9/
Pilot : "The first officer says he's got the field in sight."
Tower : "Roger, the first officer is cleared for a visual approach runway 27; you captain, continue on that 180° heading, and descend to 3000 feet."

10/
Pilot : "... Tower, call me a fuel truck."
Tower : "Roger, you are a fuel truck."


which one do you like?


 
MaxPowers
Posts: 453
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2000 11:25 am

RE: Funny ATC

Thu Jan 18, 2001 11:58 am

ahahhahahah these are good!
I say #3
 
Cody
Posts: 2172
Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 12:16 pm

RE: Funny ATC

Thu Jan 18, 2001 12:38 pm

I like all of them. Are they really true?
 
senliture
Posts: 404
Joined: Sun May 14, 2000 5:28 pm

RE: Funny ATC

Thu Jan 18, 2001 5:54 pm

I heard once like this one:

--Freq:123.80
ATC: Dragonair 434, contact Hong Kong Radar 121.55.
KA434: Roger, 122.55, good day.
ATC: Dragonair 434, contact Hong Kong Radar 121.55, not 122.55.
(no reply from KA434)

--Freq:122.55
KA434: Hong Kong Radar, this is Dragonair 434, heading 050, climbing to FL310.
(no reply from ATC--of course, wrong frequency   )
KA434: anybody here?
(no reply)
KA434: opps, wrong frequency.

--Freq: 123.8
KA434: Hong Kong Radar, this is Dragonair 434, what's the frequency you've directed me to?
ATC: 121.55...

 
 
The Ticketor
Posts: 427
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2000 9:02 pm

RE: Funny ATC

Thu Jan 18, 2001 6:55 pm

I've read most of them before, but they're all funny. I especially like the BA captain declaring an emergency with typical British dignity. Great stuff. I'll post some good stuff (you might have seen it before) with topic "Maintenance Complaints".
 
Guest

RE: Funny ATC

Thu Jan 18, 2001 7:06 pm

Pilot : "... Tower, call me a fuel truck."
Tower : "Roger, you are a fuel truck."

LOL!!! I love this one!!

Oh by the way, I've heard one like this:

Tower: "Air China 111, maintain 2000 knots"
 
Guest

RE: Funny ATC

Fri Jan 19, 2001 4:01 am

I like these the most: #2, #3, #5, #8, #9.

Regards
Alexander Holst
Helsinki, Finland
ICQ 94604005
 
lamyl_hhlco
Posts: 596
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2000 8:28 am

RE: Funny ATC

Fri Jan 19, 2001 6:17 am

yeah they are all true....crazy right?lol

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