SInGAPORE_AIR
Posts: 11619
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2000 4:06 am

FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 1:37 am

FedEx Overnight PeoplePak Stirs Industry Concern

MEMPHIS, TN - Federal Express Corporation stunned the air
travel and commercial shipping industries today when president
and CEO Theodore Weise unveiled plans to begin shipping live
humans as early as April 2001, offering frugal travelers the
lowest airfares in U.S. history and sparking heated controversy
among top industry professionals.

AirlineBiz
Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
 
767ALLTHEWAY
Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 1999 5:37 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 1:44 am

Great so now we can fly "Overnight Express" we can be garunteed that we will be there by the next day. This will be intersting flying on old DC-10's and 727-200's. Hey i would fly them.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear"
 
DIA
Posts: 3053
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2001 2:24 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 1:47 am

Well, UPS already does with their quick-change 727s. Well, that is for charters, but same difference.

Maybe this will get the airlines to lower some fares on the competing routes with FEDEX.

They could even say, "At United, we even offer you a window at no extra cost!"
Ding! You are now free to keep supporting Frontier.
 
Boeing757/767
Posts: 2179
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 1999 11:05 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 2:06 am

Ummm... Looks like April Fool's has come a bit early.
Free-thinking, left-leaning secularist
 
Ikarus
Posts: 3391
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2001 10:18 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 2:46 am

The full joke article was posted here a few weeks ago - it was brilliantly funny!

Regards

Ikarus
 
SInGAPORE_AIR
Posts: 11619
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2000 4:06 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 2:55 am

I am shocked!

This is not a joke. I do have a reputation to uphold you know.

This was from AirlineBiz, so it's obviously trustworthy.
Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
 
Boeing757/767
Posts: 2179
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 1999 11:05 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 3:01 am

It is a parody!!
Free-thinking, left-leaning secularist
 
Guest

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 3:06 am

What a brilliant idea! This could improve aircraft utilization 10 fold. A whole new "Packet Class" could be developed utilizing that hard to fill space in the baggage hold.

Regards,
Marty
 
Ikarus
Posts: 3391
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2001 10:18 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 3:12 am

Singapore Air, I'm sorry, but this time it is DEFINITELY a satirical, highly entertaining joke.

I don't see how this damages your reputation... Anyone can fail to get a joke sometimes...

Regards

Ikarus
 
jmc757
Posts: 1205
Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2000 3:36 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 3:23 am

This seems to be fashionable - Cargo carriers start carrying humans! Recently HeavyLift of the Uk announced they are starting charters this summer with an A300B4 (for crew commonality, with their cargo pilots). The airline will be called Breeze.

This one is TRUE though.
 
a380
Posts: 652
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2000 11:51 pm

Iainhol

Fri Mar 23, 2001 5:20 am

Who gets this satire first? Iainhol or Breaking news?
Perhaps Iainhol should sue Breaking News for copyright violation. Big grin
 
SInGAPORE_AIR
Posts: 11619
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2000 4:06 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 6:40 am

Oh righ. Well I didn't get the joke so it wasn't good enough for me.

Well good for AirlineBiz! they've just lost a customer!
Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
 
I Like To Fly
Posts: 1070
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2001 1:17 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 6:52 am

I'm sorry, but I have to ask. When you read this and thought it was a serious article, weren't you the least bit concerned or at least think twice about the following paragraph?

"And as for the FAA," he continued. "They're always like this. A couple people accidentally explode during decompression testing and suddenly they're all over your ass. But I'm sure they'll come around by April."

Just wondering what your reaction was when you read it.  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
 
Greg
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RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 6:53 am

I'm sorry, but anybody who didn't get this joke immediately has got to be pretty slow. Transporting people in body bags? It's unimaginable.
 
Guest

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 6:55 am

One perspm looks like a fool and many laugh!
I think that him not getting is even better then the article!
Iain
 
L-188
Posts: 29881
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 7:00 am

The real joke is that so many people think that this is a really big mistake or something new for Fed-ex.

Fed-ex used to do passenger charters many many moons ago, with 737-200's.


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OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
SInGAPORE_AIR
Posts: 11619
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2000 4:06 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 7:01 am

I still don't get it. There's no mention of body bags or anything.

Still don't get it  Sad
Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
 
Guest

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 7:16 am

Singapore, have you learnt to read yet? It is so simple a blind man could get it!
Iain
 
Ikarus
Posts: 3391
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2001 10:18 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 9:12 am

Hey, no need to offend anyone - What's wrong with not getting a joke?

This forum would be a nicer place if everyone had at least some basic respect and manners towards everyone else...

Regards

Ikarus
 
XFSUgimpLB41X
Posts: 3960
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 1:18 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 9:19 am

There was a picture earlier of the big fat body bag with air holes in it.. it was hilarious.... the decompression thing cracked me up... When i first saw the headline i was like "what the heck!.."..

Anyhoo.. dont worry about it Singapore... its not like this is some serious reputation thing or something like that... One thing ive learned is just be yourself.. if other people dont like it, it's their problem.
Chicks dig winglets.
 
CliperB777
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2000 1:21 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 9:24 am

April's fools joke on April Issue?
 
Flaps
Posts: 1176
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2000 1:11 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 10:24 am

All pax will be containerized to minimize boarding delays and achieve maximum aircraft utilization. We will be the first airline to achieve a 24 hour utilization of aircraft with express freight at night, pax in the early am, the USPS contract flights during the day and an additional bank of pax flights in the early evening.
Engineering studies indicate capacities of 8 average adults per LD3 (lying down) , 16 per AYY (lying down, 2 rows wide and stacked 8 high), and in ultra economy each AMJ will hold 80 lying down apropriately "T" stacked 8 rows wide and 10 people deep. The individual weight of these containers could tax the floor capacity of some of our older 727 conversions but what the heck, we're getting rid of those anyway.

I've gotta stop putting in so many of these 14 hour days.
 
Early Air
Posts: 624
Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2001 6:53 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 10:54 am

I am not even going to begin to say how horrible this is. When I saw the title I thought they were just going to throw a few seats in the front or back of their aircraft. Puttine live people in envelopes is obserd. It will be VERY cramped, no food, no restroom, bad air, sitting in something so small for such a long time. PEOPLE WILL DIE!!!! I really hope this is a joke, if now, I hope the FAA does not approve of it.

Rgds,
Early Air
 
CVG777
Posts: 1211
Joined: Tue May 02, 2000 6:42 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 11:25 am

It is a joke. It was posted here a few weeks ago and it was hilarious. Search for that and read the whole article and you will see that it is actually a big parody. An early April Fools day joke, if you will.  Smile
 
tsully
Posts: 680
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 5:02 pm

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Fri Mar 23, 2001 7:07 pm

So what will second day air run me?  Smile

I love America. I guess that makes me Bush's poodle, but I'd rather be a dog in New York City than a prince in Riyadh.
 
Early Air
Posts: 624
Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2001 6:53 am

RE: FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter

Tue Mar 27, 2001 3:10 pm

This whole thing was a joke.

Rgds,
Early Air

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