I never thought anyone would take the article serious! Yes the Onion is a joke! It's making fun of idealistic intellectual wannabe college students.
Some other "Headlines" from the Onion:
300 Naked Women Feared Lost In Computer Crash
ELLICOTT CITY, MD-- An estimated 300 naked women, including actresses Pamela Anderson and Shannon Elizabeth, are feared lost as the result of a tragic computer crash Monday. "One minute, they were there, and the next, they were gone," said a visibly shaken Jonathan Blauvelt, 33, the Ellicott City resident whose Power Mac G4 was the site of the disaster. "To lose so many young girls in the blink of an eye like that, it's hard to comprehend. Angelina Jolie, Anna Kournikova, the chick from Species--it's just too much to bear." As data-recovery workers comb through the hard drive for signs of ass, Blauvelt is asking well-wishers to pray for the naked ladies' safe return.
Elderly Couple Dresses Up For Trip To Denny's
VERO BEACH, FL-- Wishing to look nice for their evening out, Vero Beach retirees Abe and Bernice Wanamaker dressed up Monday for dinner at a local Denny's. "I think I'm going to put on my light-blue slacks before we go," said Abe, taking off the shorts he'd been wearing all afternoon while sitting in the backyard. "And the brown Hush Puppies." Bernice chose to wear her good yellow dress, which she had not worn since a March 22 trip to Lums.
AND MY FAVORITE:
Bush Vows To Remove Toxic Petroleum From National Parks
WASHINGTON, DC-- Vowing to "restore the pristine splendor of America's natural treasures," President Bush Monday unveiled "Project: National Parks Clean-Up," an ambitious program to remove all toxic petrochemical deposits from national parks by 2004.
Full Text »