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Funniest Airline-related Stories

Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:56 am

Everyone has a funny story to share about their experience on a plane, with a fellow passenger, in a terminal, while working on a jet, etc. I figured I'd start a thread that lets everyone write about the funniest thing that has ever happened to them that is airline related.
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Tue Mar 22, 2005 10:42 am

Back in 99, a buddy and I were returning from Hawaii, routed ogg - lax - ord - bwi in F on UA. When we boarded our a320 red eye to ord, we were both quite sauced but since we were in our college prime, decided to continue the torrid pace and ordered a jakk and coke. The flight attendant did not think we could keep that pace all the way to ord so he said if we do, he will let me pass out and collect the hot towels before landing. Needless to say, it came time to pass out the towels. The flight attendant gave me the tray and let me go. I must say I did a pretty good job except for when I was returning the tray to the galley. In full view of the passengers, I took a drunken digger, falling head long into the galley. Some passengers laughed... some heckeld, but all appreciated the entertainment i gave them for the brief minute.

There are more stories but they might be deleted from the thread. Anyway, hope this fits under the thread title.

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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:10 pm

that's a good one hawaii12.

one of the funniest things i have ever experienced on a BOS - PHL US shuttle flight. i was sitting next to a very beautiful young woman who had a very full figure. i guess that at altitude, the lack of pressure makes certain parts of the body swell a bit. well, she had on a button down shirt, and when we hit 35,000 feet, a button popped on her shirt and clinked off the back of the seat in front of her.

i was about 16 at the time, so i'm sure i turned bright red, as did she. the rest of the flight, she had to hold her shirt together with her hands. that was a classic!
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Wed Mar 23, 2005 8:15 am

that would have been hot.

that made me think of another funny experience while in the skys. Flying from mia-lga after just disembarking off a carnival funship, i was seated next to a very attractive young lady... the kind of situation i always hope for but rarely get. i had spent the entire previous night partying as it was the last night of vacation. neglecting sleep and even a shower, i sat down next to this looker only to have her tell me about .5 hours into the flight that i smell offensively.
luckily, i was too tired to care. i quickly went to sleep only to be awaken by the demons every 10 minutes.

good thread tockeyhockey
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Wed Mar 23, 2005 8:57 am

"Sit tight. I'll be right back" The funniest words ever spoken by an f/a to an overweight women stuck on the toilet on a DC-9. Republic Airlines, 1978 ATL-Pensacola.
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:23 am

Passenger “I’ll have a scotch.”

F/A “I’m not allowed to served armed pax.”
(knowing this pax is a federal law enforcement Officer)

Pax “I’d rather drink than carry a gun.”

F/A verifies pax is not armed (on manifest) and brings him a scotch

F/A “Here you go, sir. On the house.”

Pax “You mean on the plane.’

F/A “Whatever.”

Of course, if anyone has read Nelson DeMille’s The Lion’s Game, they know this one.
"Wouldn't your boss like to fly home nonstop at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon?" -Airline Exec to Congressional Staffer
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:40 am

Aer Lingus check-in at LHR. I was flying without even hand-baggage.

"Have you any luggage?"


"Did you pack your luggage yourself?"

"I just told you, I haven't any"

"I still have to ask the question, did you pack your luggage yourself"
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Wed Mar 23, 2005 10:20 am

Last month i flew Co ( of course ) Ewr-Tpa and a kid i guess he was maybe 9 he spilled the soda over his family when he recieved his soda. I think i was the only one laughing though.
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:03 am

In the summer of 1982, I was sixteen years old, and had studied German in high school for two years. I was really good at it, and could keep up in a lot of conversations.

My mom, dad, sister, and I were at the TWA terminal at LAX waiting for my grandmother to arrive on a 727 from Tulsa via Oklahoma City. In those days, TWA had a huge presence at LAX, and their terminal was always busy. Consequently, any seat that was vacated was going to be lost. I was seated next to two German-speaking women, and I could overhear bits and pieces of their conversation.

At one point, an extraordinarily handsome man that sat directly within view of myself and the German women. Suddenly, they perked up and starting talking to each other loudly enough for me to understand every word...

"Siehst du ihm?" "Ja, Ich sehe schön er ist!" "Schau an seine Brust - Ich möchte für ihm ein Knopf gelossen!" (Do you see him? Yes, I see him - he is so handsome! Look at his chest - I'd like for him to lose a button!)

I didn't know what a "Knopf" was, but I figured out that they were undressing the man and weren't trying to hide it, because they figured "who here speaks German? Certainly not this little American teenager?".

I nearly wet my pants...I couldn't say anything (let alone move a muscle) as I was trying SO hard not to laugh. I finally managed to get up and went out of sight...I just kept walking and walking around the round terminal slowly letting it out. When the women finally left I returned back to my seat, the women had gone, and told mom and dad what happened.

You never know what you're going to hear at an airport, do you?  listen 
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:24 am

1) "So, how long have you worked for Delta and where are you based, anyways?" -- Question I was asked by a Delta res agent at the end of a call. Made me feel special  Smile.

2) At a small airport while waiting in line for the security screening:
Female TSA Screener, while inspecting someone's purse, yells across the terminal to the Mesaba counter "Hey, [name], could you call 9-1-1 for me?" [very long, uncomfortable, pause] "The sheriff owes me $20 and I haven't seen him yet today"

CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:48 pm

On a recent flight, heard a solo traveling pax ask during non-service period, for a pepsi no ice, a mango juice with ice, a glass of water, some sandwiches and a packet of potatoe crisps. The reply from the F/A was "Honey this is a triple seven, not a 7/11". Got many smiles from the other pax around the cabin!
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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:11 am

About 7 years ago, my family was flying Swissair from EWR to ZRH. We normally flew JFK-GVA but the flight was unavailable. We were in coach with a huge group of German students who were quite loud, to say the least. My sister, who was only 8 at the time, screamed over the noise to my mom, "How come we didn't fly to Gevena [sic] this time?" My mom told her the flight was full and asked why it made such a difference since the flight wasn't too much longer. My sister screamed, "Because I hate this stupid German language, it's hurting my ears because it's so HARSH!" Needless to say, a hundred Germans stared her down and the entire plane went completely silent. A few F/A's even stopped in their tracks. My entire family shrunk down into our seats, save for my sister who had no idea what was going on.

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RE: Funniest Airline-related Stories

Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:57 pm

Funny only to me, only in hindsight:
I like most other young men had longed to be seated next to a beautiful young lady on a long flight. Normally I got an older man or lady, or a stuffy biz traveling man. Well, MCO to LAX I was in a window seat when I got my wish when andattractive girl sat down in the middle. Only problem was, a similarly aged and dressed guy took the aisle at the same time. Couple right?
Darn. So I keep my mouth shut. About an hour out of LAX I realize they haven't said a word to each other. Odd. About the time we start the approach, when all the normal end of flight small talk kicks up, they start chatting. Turns out they were total strangers the whole time! Doh! Well, not like I could have gotten a date out of it or anything. Haven't gotten a hottie since, well except for my wife now that I'm married, but that doesn't count!

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