gorbskow
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:02 pm

Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:17 pm

I was just wondering if any of you have stories of funny quotes you have heard on the radio while flying. These were the first two that came to mind, however I am sure if we all thought for a bit we could come up with many, many more. I heard the first one and someone told me they heard the second one.

1.
ATC: N12345 descend at pilots discretion to 10,000, current altimeter XX.XX
Pilot: .........................(no response)
ATC: N12345 did you hear my last transmition?
Pilot: Say again, I was on the land line

2.
Pilot: Center, any ride reports at FL350
ATC: Light to mod chop all altitudes
Pilot: Thanks, just wondering if I should let the cattle out to graze
 
KELPkid
Posts: 5247
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 5:33 am

RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:43 am

Heard this once on PDX approach:

ATC: My radio just went Tits Up!!! (It was quite obviously the air traffic controller, and he had his mic keyed when he shouldn't have...it's interesting to hear the air traffic controller bust the FCC rules!)  Wink
Celebrating the birth of KELPkidJR on August 5, 2009 :-)
 
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kc135topboom
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:12 am

There is an alleged conversation between a LH Airbus and a BA Boeing crews at FRA. I don't know if that is true, or not.
 
egnr
Posts: 408
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:22 am

Quoting KC135TopBoom (Reply 2):
There is an alleged conversation between a LH Airbus and a BA Boeing crews at FRA. I don't know if that is true, or not

That would be this one...

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206, taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not
been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944 -- but I didn't land."


I've seen this alleged ATC conversation in a few places, but just found it on this site with a couple of others... As to whether they are true or not, I have no idea.

[Edited 2006-01-01 18:23:55]

[Edited 2006-01-01 18:26:49]
7late7, A3latey, Sukhoi Superlate... what's going on?
 
sanjet
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:42 am

Since I only fly in Canada, I'm a little upset that JetsGo went bankrupt... I've always wanted to say the famous line: "Got the fokker in site".
Will Fly For Food!
 
Mir
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:55 am

I heard this in the traffic pattern at HPN...

Tower: Learjet xxx, wow, that's quite a climb rate you've got there, traffic is a Cessna at your three o'clock in the downwind, altitude....oh, never mind, you're already above him, just contact departure..."

-Mir
7 billion, one nation, imagination...it's a beautiful day
 
BNAflyer78
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:57 am

Here's one I heard recently in ATL.....

DALxxx (after an ASA CRJ200 took nearly all 11,000 feet of 26L to rotate on takeoff): "Is your Barbie jet a little heavy and underpowered today Candler?"

Candlerxxx: "Yeah Delta, didn't your wife tell you she's non-revving with us?"

Then silence....

Atlanta Tower (laughing hysterically): "Delta xxx, cleared for takeoff runway 26L. Glad to hear you're a little lighter today!"
Long live the Widget!
 
Gilligan
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 3:03 am

Not too many weeks ago I had this call on the company channel:

"Ops, express jet xxx I need my lav dumped."

I couldn't resist...

xxx the restroom is at the top of the jetway and to your left, you're all on your own.
Warm winds blowing, heating blue skies, and a road that goes forever, I'm going to Texas!
 
deltagator
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 3:04 am

Quoting BNAflyer78 (Reply 6):
Here's one I heard recently in ATL.....

Very funny!

On an ATL-ORD flight once on UA I was listening to Channel 9 and another plane was directed to climb to FL140. The pilot didn't do it and was scolded in a few minutes for not climbing. The pilot still didn't climb after the second request and was scolded again. On the third request from ATC the pilot asked how they were supposed to climb to that level. The controller responded back with "I'm not sure how you were taught in flight scholl but they taught me if I wanted to climb to pull back on the yoke in front of me."
"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
 
lincoln
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 4:06 am

Just a few from my collection

From listening to DTW a -long- time ago:

[after being cleared to land]
ATC: 4 75, when able, say your parking.
NW475: Employee lot 7.

??5845: [unintelligable] 58 45, uh....we have the airport...,wait, that's not the airport....

Then, from Chicago:
ATC: Northwest 1 48 you are clear to land 9 right
NW148: Uh...we're already on 9 Right, Northwest 148.
ATC: Oh, nevermind. Welcome to Chicago.

Cactus 636: I just talked to our A T C coordinator in Dallas and he said that we had been canceled and the info I have is old. I have a plane full of people who don't think that we've been canceled. Can you please verify the information.
ATC: No, you're still live... I have you squawking 6 5 6 3... give me a call when you want to push.

UA938: Good evening metering, this is United 9 38 heavy at Charlie 12.
ATC: I already have you up on my board... Haven't I already talked to you?
UA938: Uh, maybe you talked to the other United 9 38, but we just got here.

122: (cute, tired sounding femaile while yawning) Eagle Flight 1 22 with you on Pappa
ATC: Wakeup, Eagle Flight 122... We prefer you not fall asleep until after you get to your destination.

{Unknown): Is Pete there? We have some geese down here asking for him.
ATC: Ha, ha, ha. Nope Pete's gone for the night. Have any new jokes for me?
(static)
ATC: Tell me that one again... I didn't catch the last part of it.

ATC: “Uh, United, do you already have your flight plan? I see you taxiing to the runway, but I don’t remember talking to you.”

DL649: Quebec 6 49 with Delta…Er, I think I mean Delta 6 49 with Quebec.

Unknown Flight: We aren’t Lufthansa.
ATC: Just say you’re Lufthansa and we’ll get you out real quick.

ATC: All you guys on Delta, I want you to go all the way eastbound on Delta to Delta 8, then come back on Mike. See that big line on Mike? That’s the line you want to be in. If you try cutting in that line, you will not be leaving here for a very long time.

(same controller as above)
ATC: Nobody better block 2 7 right or your sequence will be canceled.
CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
 
gorbskow
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 7:56 am

those are all good ones.

Tower: Learjet xxx, wow, that's quite a climb rate you've got there, traffic is a Cessna at your three o'clock in the downwind, altitude....oh, never mind, you're already above him, just contact departure..."

LOVE THAT ONE!!! Nothing like being light huh?


At IAD once the ground controller was swamped. People were stepping on each other like I have never heard before. We were part way through our taxi and instructed to hold short of a taxiway or something and I could tell the controller was getting very upset with everyone stepping on each other and cutting the responses off etc. Just as we began to hold short the controller came on and said everyone needs to stop stepping on each other and listen up, I am so tired of this that i am going to take a 1 minute break. Next thing you hear is........Ground, this is XXX ready to taxi with info M. and then just silence. Then another call to ground and he gets stepped on and this continues for about a min. Then the ground controller gets on and says.......oh that was a nice break.....now NXXXX continue taxi......
I thought that was just great.

Then, from Chicago:
ATC: Northwest 1 48 you are clear to land 9 right
NW148: Uh...we're already on 9 Right, Northwest 148.
ATC: Oh, nevermind. Welcome to Chicago.

Again I have had this before:
If you have been to RVS before you know that at times it gets extremely busy there. It isnt the typical "busy" most of you think about, however it is busy with loads of C152, C172, etc. I was a flight instructor at the time. We were on final and the tower neglected to clear us for landing. I was doing the old.....lets see how far my student will take this before I need to intervene thing. As we crossed the fence I asked my student "Are we cleared to land" He quickly remembers that we have not been cleared to land and decides to ask the tower " are we cleared to land." Yet he continues his landing. Somewhere in the flare the tower clears us to land however as our wheels touch the ground my student decides to respond to the controller simply saying "Cessna XXX has landed" as he is laughing his butt off. The controller comes back with.....Cessna XXX it really isnt that funny. I really lost the professional image that day cause I was laughing so hard I was nearly crying!
 
radiocheck
Posts: 30
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 9:42 am

At KSDL, there's this one chick controller who just sounds hot. I think all of us pilots have at one time or another, heard a controller or a female pilot who just sounds hot, so how about this...next time you hear one of these hot sounding ladies of aviation, just slip in a:

Scottsdale Tower, Say Age, Body Type and Marital Status.

Appropriate? No. Hilarious? Absolutely.

thanks to my CFI for coming up with that one.
 
thepilot
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 10:21 am

At BFI, I was in the pattern once and their was a guy who said:
Guy 1: Brian, is that you?
Brian: Yeah, I'm here.
Guy1: Cool dude. Did you see Ashley? Man she's a piece of work.
Brian: Yeah, we're going to Joe's tonight. Can you invite her.
ATC: Cessna 174GF, runway 13L, cleared for the option. Did you see Ashley as well?
Me: Cleared for the option 13L, and that's a negative on Ashley, 4GF.

Also:
Pilot (at PAE): Paine tower, Bonanza XXX request the option.
ATC: Bonanza XXX, runway 16R, cleared for the option.
Pilot: Cleared for the option, Bonanza XXX. (With finger still on mic) Holy crap Tom, what the hell did you have to eat!? That's disgusting!
ATC: Bonanza XXX, I think you still got you mic on.
Pilot: Bonanza XXX, sorry about that.

Those are my two favorites. Great thread, Gorbskow  Smile
From YVR
 
lesmainwaring
Posts: 522
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:13 am

Not real ATC, but my fave exchange from movies comes from "Pushing Tin":

Nick Falzone: [to Russell Bell] I'm personally going to see to it that you go down in flames!
Airplane Pilot: What?
Nick Falzone: Negative, United. That was not to you. Not to you!
I want something under my wheels thats plenty long and mighty dry --- Vern Demarest
 
HPLASOps
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 12:09 pm

I just heard on the ramp control radio, a WN flight LAS-SMF:

WN XXX: "Thank you for coming aboard Southwest flight XXX to Sacramento. We're expecting clear skies and a smooth flight all the way in. The weather looks good, about 40 degrees with a mild fog. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight and thank you for choosing Southwest Airlines."

ATC: "No, no, thank you for choosing Southwest Airlines."
"Just because I know how to get off a freeway doesn't mean I know how to get back on!" - Retard Joe
 
Frontiercpt
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 02, 2006 3:42 pm

While over St. George, I heard this funny conversation between a CO flight (569 LAS-EWR), and ATC. BTW, this is an excerpt from a recent TR: STL-DEN-LAS(UA) And LAS-LGB(B6) (by Frontiercpt Jan 1 2006 in Trip Reports)

CO569: What was that thin that just passed overhead?
ATC: Over or under?
CO569: Over
ATC: Uhm, I don't have anything in your area
CO569: I'm looking at his contrail right now, looked like an F16
Random aircraft listening in: *wispy voice* It was me....
ATC, the TED pilots, and several passengers in the cabin laughed

~Shaun~

[Edited 2006-01-02 07:49:30]
 
777DadandJr
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Tue Jan 03, 2006 8:18 am

Returning from SEA to ORD on UA, listening to Ch9:

"AAxxx, Salt Lake Center"

"Salt Lake, AAxxx"

"AAxxx, turn right, 360 degrees, and resume heading xxx"

"Salt Lake, roger"

*about 10 minutes later*

"AAxxx, Salt Lake Center, thank you, resume heading xxx"

"Salt Lake, AAxxx, you're welcome, but please don't make me do that again, it makes me dizzy!"

"AAxxx, roger that!"

I found that quite amusing. Though, my fellow pax seemed puzzled at why I was laughing.

Russ

[Edited 2006-01-03 00:18:34]
My glass is neither 1/2 empty nor 1/2 full, rather, the glass itself is twice as big as it should be.
 
turnit56N
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:07 pm

At Newark, when a loaded 757 took a few seconds to get moving:
EWR ground: "COxxxx, are you moving?"
COxxxx (drawling): "Yep, sorry about that. We're heavy today. It can be hard to get it up when you're loaded."
Twenty random aircraft: "You can say that again."

And cruising through Chicago Center....
ATC: "NWxxxx, we've been getting reports of light chop at your altitude, how's your ride?"
NWxxxx: "Smooth, but that's probably due to our superior airmanship."
Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
 
Tom12
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Tue Jan 03, 2006 1:10 pm

A few personal favorites

Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"


There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked". Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

Tom
"Per noctem volamus" - Royal Air Force Bomber Squadron IX
 
IAHFLYR
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Tue Jan 03, 2006 11:59 pm

Given to a WN crew gripping about a weather rerouting center gave them mistakenly to IAH rather than HOU, after they had pulled flights from IAH.......the approach controller asked if they know what IAH meant, "it ain't Hobby". Or....when they asked for "a little lower" the controller in his lowest tone said "how's this"!
Any views shared are strictly my own and do not a represent those of any former employer.
 
goinv
Posts: 255
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:43 am

ATC: American 001, where are you heading?

American 001: We're heading direct to Paradise

ATC: No sir, you're not going to Paradise. Turn left heading 135 if you want to go to Paradise

American 001: Turn left heading 135 for Paradise....

This is true....heard on Jan 01 on live atc.net. Paradise is a fix near Los Angeles.
Be who you are, The world was made to measure for your smile. So Smile.
 
Fokker70NG
Posts: 218
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Wed Jan 04, 2006 6:14 am

Haha, these conversations are really funny  Smile

Some nice ones I found on the internet sometime (so didn't hear them myself):

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war old chap!"

----------------------

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

----------------------

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

----------------------

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. -Albert Einstein
 
HPLASOps
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Wed Jan 04, 2006 8:38 am

Fokker, those are billiant, keepsakes I tell ya
"Just because I know how to get off a freeway doesn't mean I know how to get back on!" - Retard Joe
 
Dreamflight767
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Wed Jan 04, 2006 1:52 pm

ATC: Jet Link xxx, turn right heading 3-6-5.

Jet Link xxx: Ummm, unable to turn heading 3-6-5.

ATC: Hmmm. Yeah, I guess you're right. That would send you to the middle of nowhere.

Jet Link xxx: Well, we are going to Gulfport (Mississippi).
 
gorbskow
Posts: 24
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:07 pm

All you freight dogs can appreciate this one:

AIRPLANE: Center, AAXXXX Any ride reports ahead were getting our
butts kicked around up here.
ATC: AAXXXX Light chop at your altitude, 350 is better, say ride
conditions
AIRPLANE: UH AAXXXX request 350 were getting continuous light
 
noelg
Posts: 2313
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:15 pm

A couple of my favourites I've heard...

A bit of background on the first - G-MSKO was a CRJ based at Birmingham.
I was waiting for my flying lesson on a fogged-in Sunday morning at Leicester, a small private airfield (biggest aircraft that visits is a King Air)...

Flight: "Leicester Radio this is G-MSKO".
Tower: "G-MSKO Leicester Radio go ahead".
Flight: "G-MSKO is type Canadair Regional Jet, 25 miles east of Leicester, FL180"
Silence
More silence
Flight: "How are you doing Norman, it's Pete!"
Tower: "Hi mate you had me going there!"

There then proceeded a 5 minute conversation, it turned out that the pilot trained at Leicester! He ended the conversation with "Have to go now, coffee's just arrived"!

Listening to the tower frequency at East Midlands one quiet Sunday afternoon...

Pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, a very good afternoon and welcome aboard this Ryanair flight to Dublin. We're just going through some last minute checks on the flight deck and we'll shortly be on our way. Routing today will take us north towards Manchester and then across into Dublin, cruising at 24000ft. The weather conditions in Dublin are clear with temperatures of 12c. I'll speak to you again in the cruise, in the meantime, please sit back, relax and enjoy your flight."

Tower: "Ryanair *** thank you for that, now try telling your passengers!"
Pilot: "Ah, oh, erm, sorry about that"

 Smile
 
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EGTESkyGod
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Wed Jan 11, 2006 11:43 pm

I'm told by my grandfather that once apon a time he was listening to Manchester Approach in the dead of night, when there was only one scheduled flight due in.

The pilot of this flight knew he was the only flight in that night, so he popped up on the radio and said "Guess who?!" The controller then turned off all runway lights, taxiway lights, PAPIs, etc, and said "Guess where!"


Also Plymouth Approach called up an Air Wales flight (Callsign "Red Dragon") and got it wrong, asking for "Red Barron". They both laughed about it, saying over the radio they weren't sure if or who they were insulting!
I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
 
SNfreak
Posts: 59
Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:03 am

RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Sat Jan 14, 2006 2:15 am

Really nice ones in there  Smile

I've some ones from own experience aswell

When coming over whiskey point of LECU
me: cuatro vientos tower aemxxxx leaving via whiskey, bye bye hunny
silence
tower : (people laughing hard in the background) eerrrr, errr yes bye bye and have a nice flight

A couple of hours later we came back and i called over sierra knowing that there were 4 planes in the hold.

me: lecu tower aemxxxx over sierra now req instructions
tower : (same lady) oh hello aemxxxx welcome back you can enter right downwind for 28

What some nice words can't do sometimes  Wink

And also when the airport opens in the morning one of the instructors is praying on the company channel...
Life is simple : Eat, Sleep and Fly
 
GQfluffy
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Sat Jan 14, 2006 3:24 am

On Company Radio...

Flt: HLN Ops, GQ 2587...

Ground: 87, this is HLN, about time...

Flt: Oh ya know, approaching rwy sixty niner, gettin 8 out...

Tower cutting in: Keep it up, and you'll be holding out there all night...
This isn't where I parked my car...
 
ReidYYZ
Posts: 503
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Sat Jan 14, 2006 7:10 pm

Ground: C-Gxxx hold short SIERRA, give way to comair RJ.
C-Gxxx: give way to the RJ, xxx.
Ground: Comair XXXX, enter the ramp, call apron on ZZZ.ZZ, the 330 will give way.
Commair XXXX: apron on ZZZ.Z, comair XXXX
silence, comair slowing down as it approaches the intersection where a rapidly approaching A330 is coming.
Ground: Comair XXXX, the 330 will hold for you, they do look big coming that fast, don't they?
C-Gxxx: I'm not going that fast!


Okay,.....maybe I was.

[Edited 2006-01-14 11:12:37]
 
RyGuy
Posts: 173
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:43 am

Dont think i have ever heard a funnier situation. lol




ATC: Air Canada 431, Traffic is 8 o'clock at flightlever 4,500 Foker XXX report them in site.
Pilot: Ohh I've always wanted to say this.... I've got the "Fucker" in site

Sorry for the harsh language.

Thanks

-RyGuy
From somewhere out there...
 
goinv
Posts: 255
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:16 pm

RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Thu Jan 19, 2006 5:22 am

A true story - from Inverness (UK) today

easyJet : easy192 request push and start

(Hint: there are no push back facilities at Inverness)

easyJet : Ah....easy192 correction, push not required

Inv Tower: easy192, please confirm, you no longer require start?

easyJet: No tower we want to start but don't need a push

Inv Tower: Roger. Cleared to start. If you need a push you'll need to get out and do it yourself.

easyJet: We could do with a push all the way to Luton....It'll save on fuel


Also....heard five minutes later....easy192 had departed.....easy196 was waiting at hold F for an arriving Tomahawk...

Inv Tower: easy196...sorry for the delay....cleared takeoff...runway..23

easyJet: No problem sir....just admiring the view
Be who you are, The world was made to measure for your smile. So Smile.
 
flyingbronco05
Posts: 3484
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 11:43 am

RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:50 am

Quoting Tom12 (Reply 18):
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

You wouldn't be talking to tower at 35,000ft.
Never Trust Your Fuel Gauge
 
seanp11
Posts: 281
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RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:28 pm

He must have really good binoculars.  Smile
 
don81603
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Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 12:07 am

RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:30 am

Quoting Turnit56N (Reply 17):
At Newark, when a loaded 757 took a few seconds to get moving:
EWR ground: "COxxxx, are you moving?"
COxxxx (drawling): "Yep, sorry about that. We're heavy today. It can be hard to get it up when you're loaded."
Twenty random aircraft: "You can say that again."

I never laughed so hard in my life!
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
 
Matt72033
Posts: 1589
Joined: Sat May 14, 2005 10:03 pm

RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:12 pm

not an ATC conversation as such, but i found it funny.

i was on the radio to the captain during a push on a 747

Captain: yeah she was probably giving him a blowjob, silly slag!
Me: excuse me? (trying really hard not to laugh)
Captain: shit, sorry ground, that wasnt meant for you, we were just discussing this stupid slow female ground controller we have here.
Me: ok no worries boys, lets get you away.....all ground checks complete, doors and hatches shut, gear pins removed except the steering bypass and your clear to pressurize. and if you'd like to release the parking brake when your ready!
Captain: Parking brake released

few mins later during the push.

Me: ok....and your clear to start on number 4 as an when your ready.
after a minute of nothing happening
Me: helloooo anyone there? did ya catch that?
Captain: sorry, did you say something, we were to busy listening to some french twat babbling away over ATC
Me: (laughing hysterically now) no worries guys....your clear on 4 when your ready!

certainly made a differnce from the normal mundane flight crews!
 
ReidYYZ
Posts: 503
Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2005 4:00 am

RE: Funny Things Head Over The Radio?

Mon Jan 23, 2006 4:06 am

Also not from the radio, but from the headset:
Guy on headset for pushback: Flt deck, ground. well be ready to go in a few mins. having problems with grd equip.
F/D:
Capt: Uhhh, okay............(stuck mike)what kind of idiots are working down there?
F/E: uh bob, they can hear you, your mike is stuck.
CAP:no its not.
Headset: Yes it is, and us idiots will be another ten mins.

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