Ok, in the spitit of the thread here's some of the funnier sayings I have for your enjoyment...
A pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.
Flying isn't dangerous; crashing is dangerous!
The propeller is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. The proof? Make it stop, and watch the pilot break out in a sweat.
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
Gravity never loses -- the best you can hope for is a draw!
a pilot's job is hours of boredom punctuated with seconds of sheer terror.
The ability to watch from above and smirk as I blast by is reason enough to justify flying
Thou shall watch thou airspeed or the earth shall rise up and smite thee.
"Though I fly through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 feet and climbing" - plaque at the entrance to the old SR
-71 facility at Kadena, Japan.
"If the wings are travelling faster than the fuselage, then its probably a helicopter - and therefor unsafe"
In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
Without ammunition, the USAF
would be just another expensive flying club.
The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?"
"Where are we?"
Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.
Sadly, artificial intelligence will probably never be a match for natural stupidity.
No matter what else happens, fly the aeroplane. Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity; an aeroplane flies because of money.
A check ride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.
Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone. An aeroplane flies because of a principle discovered by Bernoulli, not Marconi. Stated in a different fashion; "Unskilled" pilots are always found in the wreckage with their hand wrapped around the microphone.
Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.
Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a tree what it thinks about dogs.
If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an accident, the FAA would find a way to blame it on pilot error.
About check rides:
The only real objective of a check ride is to complete it and get the bastard out of your airplane.
It has never occurred to any flight examiner that the examinee couldn't care less what the examiner's opinion of his flying ability really is.
Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over I know of no such expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that demands one iota more is a fool.
One of the most important skills that a pilot must develop is the skill to ignore those things that were designed by non-pilots to get the pilot's attention.
At the end of the day, the controllers, ops supervisors, maintenance guys, weather guessers, and birds; they're all trying to kill you and your job is to not let them!
The concept of "controlling" airspace with radar is just a form of FAA sarcasm directed at pilots to see if they're gullible enough to swallow it. Or to put it another way, when's the last time the FAA ever shot anyone down?
It is a tacit, yet profound admission of the preeminence of flying in the hierarchy of the human spirit, that those who seek to control aviators via threats always threaten to take one's wings and not one's life.
Mastering the prohibited maneuvers in the Natops Manual is one of the best forms of aviation life insurance you can get.
The aircraft G-limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular airplane. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no G-limits.
How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
None, thats what maintanance guys are for.
You can land a million planes safely, but have one little mid-air and you'll never hear the end of it.
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