I'm not a local, but I had a similar decision to make for a recent family wedding in Williamsburg. Ultimately, I decided to fly into DCA
and drive in order to take the nonstop from SEA
From a purely location standpoint, PHF
is the best. It is the closest airport, obviously, but it doesn't have as much service as the other airports. US via CLT
are your only options.
to Yorktown can be very slow as traffic can be horrible on I-64. I ran into terrible traffic beginning many miles west of Williamsburg. This was a Friday afternoon, though.
ORF to Yorktown requires taking one of the tunnels, which can also be prone to traffic problems.
If you're arriving at night, traffic is probably not a factor, so RIC
and ORF might be better options.