I posted this in Non-Av, but I think you all would like to see it (even though I bet most of you have!)
Why airplanes are easier to live with than women:
Airplanes usually kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.
Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
Airplanes don't get mad if you do a touch and go.
Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection.
Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation.
Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
Airplanes can be flown at any time of the month.
Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.
Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
Airplanes expect to be tied down.
Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.