Also known as another time in my life when I get yelled at by a German woman.
So, I’ve spent the past two and a half weeks staring at a sunless sky. The reaction of any sane person would be to, of course, go to Northern England! That, I did.
Operated by: Eurowings
Class: Economy (T)
Reason for delay, Warsaw De-icing at its usual speed
(More on that later)
As usual, my morning started in Warsaw’s Star Alliance “polonez” lounge.
Considering how empty the lounge was, I took some higher quality photos as I had brought my full kit along for my “vacation”. It’s a lovely lounge, but I really am starting to hate the way they set up their lavatories. Doors within doors within doors within only one toilet! Rather like a badly misinterpreted Paul McCartney album. Blegh.
I then walked to gate 37, and my hopes for airbridge boarding were dashed once more.
You would think, an airport as modern looking as this would have more jetbridges. I can barely imagine what it was like before the renovations. Can’t say I even want to.
So, covered in snow, and vaguely cold- I arrived at my seat
Though not technically in business, there was no one seated next to me (a great feature of LH is the blocking out of adjacent seats for star golds) and J was empty, so let’s just say I was in J on a technicality.
Now, this is where things start to get a little bizarre. The de-icing was slow, but straightforward. Take-off was smooth and uneventful, also quiet due to the distance I was from the engines, the cabin was warm, but the flight attendants were strapped in at the front- and at the time the fasten seat belt sign was turned off- they drew a curtain and started prepping the carts.
Foolishly, I saw this as an opportunity to go grab a cabin shot of an empty CR9. OOOPS!
Guess the IC flight attendant was psychic as she starts racing out from behind the curtain to shout at me about how I am not allowed to take cabin photos when they are working and I can see them.
So, perplexed, I show her the photos and she is not in them. Her original concern was that I photographed her. But, plain as daylight, she was not there. Nor do I even know how she got there that quickly, or how she saw me from behind the blue curtain. Let’s say magic. I mean, I did get one photo of a corporeal, blurry, body racing down the aisle- but that’s a matter for the ghost hunters.
Did she let it end there?
Of course not.
I know many people who would pay dearly for the experience of having an attractive German flight attendant scold them for minor infractions. I am not one of them.
Now, I know being a flight attendant in an economic zone where you know your business is going to die from taxation, and you go to sleep every night hearing on the news about how you are killing polar bears by going to work must be taxing. I know everyone has bad days. It’s really not her fault, But, I mean- concern resolved, apology: issued. LET IT DIE.
Maybe it’s because I was dressed a bit like a homeless man. A star gold homeless man, carrying very fancy camera- but you know- probably still doing it tough, either that or maybe people think I am younger than I am. I guess I should just wear my suit everywhere, everyone always says how serious I look and how badly they want to give me money when I wear a suit. I guess that’s the take-away.
Anyway, time for service.
This is why I mentioned that she could’ve let it die, but chose not to do so.
As she hands out my… cinnamon bun? (which I photographed when she was looooooong gone)
While proceeding to further scold me. I think her best line was “You wouldn’t take photos in a restaurant!”
I don’t know, by this point cartoon cats were dancing in my head and I had long stopped focusing on her, umm, misguided and humiliating tirade.
Oh well, at least I have a funny story for the Internet.
That’s what every man really wants anyway.
There was still this concern about missing my connection to Manchester…
That is, until I noticed we were descending rather faster than I had assumed to be normal, and noticed an elderly woman sitting in “proper” J.
Turns out, sometime during the forty minutes of flying, she had taken ill. So, ill, in fact- that when we priority landed in DUS, she walked off the plane with the paramedics.
I am not making light of her illness; she probably had a legitimate health problem. What I am doing is thanking her, as she let me make my connection.
DUS is amazing as a transfer point, even with their sea of bus gates- I was through passport control in seven minutes and on the next bus to the adjacent CR9 than the one I had deplaned in 14.
Operated by Eurowings
Class: Economy (T)
Seat: 4A (again, no one in proper J, so I win.)
Was going to be earlier, but then an A380 landed.
Off to a much better start this flight, I got my cabin photos whilst the flight attendants worked behind the curtain.
There was even a different snack.
Now, do not let this simple loaf of bread fool you. It, in fact, contains chunks of un-melted butter.
Bernie’s too scared to take more TR photos on the way back to Warsaw at the moment. If this mood changes, he will complete the second part of the TR upon his arrival
Secondary verdict: I really wish LO flew to MAN. They’re better, though less punctual.