Please know I wasn't trying to convert you. True conversion comes completely from God; there is very little I or anyone else can say or do. However, if you're open to how God works in your life (and from what you said above I think God does) there are many ways to express this, though not necessarily through organized religion.
My only advice to you in following this path is to avoid the trap of "self-divinization." Sometimes people who persue the spiritual outside of organized religion can end up relating all their spiritual experiences back to themselves, and see God only in relation to themselves. This can lead the individual to feel he or she has become center of the universe, using God to boost their own ego and self importance. God becomes a servent to them, rather than the other way around. Does this make sense?
What I'd suggest (ifyou haven't done this already) is to seek out like minded individuals you are comfortable with and trust and perhaps discuss spiritual matters with them. You might need advice, you might give advice, but it also helps keep faith less isolating, and the friendships that can be struck up as a result will become deep and lasting.
The level of homophobia you describe is appalling, but sadly not surprising. I think you're right school administrators, counselors, and campus ministers can do more to work on issues of gays in high school to make sure they are truely integrated into the school community.
Sounds like the course you've been taking has been good at challenging you and making you ask the tough quesitons. That's what's important. You are able to take what you see, look at the stances and think it through for yourself. It may or may not agree with Church teaching, but the important thing is you are learning to think for yourself, which is the most important lesson any school can teach you.
BTW, may I be completely nosy and ask where you attend school? I'm just wondering if you are going to one of ours...
The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy