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Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 10:16 am

There is a school in the UK which is going to the high court to try and get permission to be able to smack kids that misbehaves. But when does a smack turn into abuse?
I think no one should be allowed to smack kids. If you can't punish them any other way, you should not be a parent nor be involved with kids. Kids (especially boys) are made to be boystrous, and get muddy, and mis-behave we are made like that!
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 10:20 am

I am the father of a two year old boy. I have not struck him, and Lord help me, I never will. I do not support corporal punishment, so I agree with Iain. By the way Iain, you are wise beyond your years. When you someday settle down and get married, and become a daddy, I hope you are able to retain your current views (but you won't if you move to LA!)
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 10:26 am

Iain, I totally agree with you. I was raised by a mom that NEVER spanked me(she guilt tripped me instead). My son is now and I don't think he ever got spanked either. He is not an angel by any means, but he is a very nice young man. Hitting doesn't really prove anything except that the adult can't cope with a child. I work in a kindergarten with 22 children- 4 and 5 year olds. Guaranteed they do try your patience every day but you must learn to take a deep breath and start again. For me personally that does get difficult sometimes because I do have a temper, still working on it. When one of our guys acts up they immediately get "time out". Works like a charm, especially when everyone else is playing, either inside or on the playground. They don't like to sit down alone, usually it only take once or twice for them to get the message.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 10:42 am

The sad thought is that this happens all over the world without our attention. I remember going to school in the Philippines when I was a kid and having my hand smacked real hard with a ruler everytime I didn't listen. I also used to have to gargle soap and water for the more extreme times. Sadly, I know for a fact that this is still going on.
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Just A Question...

Fri Nov 02, 2001 10:55 am

In some parts of the U.S. isn't it "illegal" to spank your children? Not that the government has any control over what parents do in the privacy of their homes, but I heard it is illegal in some parts...

Can anyone confirm this?

I guess I come from a more "traditional" upbringing in that spanking is not a bad thing, granted some idiots of parents can easily get out of control. I went to a private elementary school where the school had the parents' permission to administer corporal punishment if deemed necessary. I think a wooden spoon was the utensil used. I never heard of anyone getting hit when I went there, but I think just seeing that spoon in the principal's office put the fear of God into us.  Smile

Anyway, I don't see anything wrong whatsoever with parents (perhaps not school officials) spanking their children in a very controlled, non-excessive manner. When it gets out of hand, it becomes abuse and then there is a major problem.

After all, spanking is an age-old practice which has yielded generations of well behaved children. There is a difference between today’s general kid population and the children from 40 years ago. The children of yesteryear were much more respectful towards authority. They knew what it meant to be obedient, respectful and well behaved. Obviously kids will be kids, but children today, for the most part, lack the discernment of time and place. Those of us old enough to have been raised by the traditional means will recall being taught, “there is a time and place for everything”. The same generalization cannot be used for today’s adolescents. Something has changed, and although I wouldn’t completely attribute the downturn in behavior to the decline in corporal punishment, I would go so far as to say poor parenting plays a major role in the decline.

Just my bit…

Looks like my "question" turned into an essay on what I believe.  Smile Oh well, I accept your views and hope you understand mine.

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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 10:56 am

I think that a light spanking is good, IF a kid is constantally misbehaving. I don't think that drinking soap, a good idea, nor is knuckle rapping, BUT, the idea that kids could get spanked by a teacher, can change their behavior, especially at the older ages. My brother's kids have (had) a behavior problem, and since they've moved to North Carolina, where corpral punishment is allowed, the kids have calmed down dramatically. I don't think they've been spanked at school (or at home) yet. It's the "fear factor" of having a teacher spank you that can change that behavior.

Hitting in the face is a BIG no no.

If I was a parent, I probably wouldn't spank, but I'd support a teacher's right to do it, if the situation warranted it.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 11:10 am

I came across a smacking kid once. I told him not to do it anymore. He still did.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 11:21 am

Smacking kids should be allowed, straighten em out no end!!!
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 11:27 am

I feel there are situations where a tap on the fanny is appropriate. Quite simply, its the most sure-fire way of making the definition between "no, you really shouldn't do that" and "no, you CAN'T do that." Quite simply, words and threats only go so far with young kids who haven't sufficiently developed their vocabulary yet. In such cases, there needs to be a way of communicating to them which behaviors are really dangerous and which things are just merely "annoying." And if someone can make the association between doing something and experiencing pain, they most likely aren't going to do it again! Quite simply, its much easier to tune out words than it is pain.

The main problem, in my mind, is that people are not consistent in their punishment or that they overutilize spanking. In my mind, spanking is something you either use sparingly or you don't use it all. There's no doubt that taking it to far can encourage a child to respond physically to their own angers/frustrations.

Also, I do not support the "soap in the mouth" or "dunce cap" types of things. They are too degrading.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 12:23 pm

I think there should be able to be some physical punishment in schools, and yes, I am in school. A sophomore in high school. If you knew the way kids acted in school today, and if you were a teacher, you would agree with some type of physical punishment, and i agree with it too.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 12:46 pm rock, man....but I gotta disagree with you on this one....

I had an interesting experience this summer. I volunteered to be a counselor at a church camp for four days with 6 to 8 year olds. I've helped at this camp for years, and am well respected, but never worked with kids this age...always middle schoolers or high schoolers.

OH MY GAWD.....I'll never do that again.

The little guys were cute at first but it didn't take them long, one in particular, to realize that we really couldn't do anything to control their behavior. The last day was awful....before that, we could threaten to take away the canoe worked most of the time. After that was over...all hell broke loose. I was beside myself at times trying to maintain some reasonable amount of control. I'm here to tell you.....if we could have spanked one kid on the butt....that would have been it. Those kids would have behaved much better if that had happened. I'm not talking about boys being boys....there was lot's of time for that....but these kids got way too comfortable with their environment and not having their mamma's around....and man...they thought they were gonna run the damn camp at 7 years old. Forget it....I'm done with kids that young unless they let us spank them....

Middle schoolers can be bought off cheap with candy or pizza....they will do anything.

High schoolers are mature enough you can reason with them....tell them you'll take them for a plane ride or let them drive your Acura Integra GSR sports car (with you in it...of course)

But 6 to 8 year olds...forget it
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 1:02 pm

In the great words of Grandpa Simpson (of FOX-TV)................

"You can push them out of a plane.....
you can march them off a cliff.....
you can send them off to die on some God-forsaken rock.....
But for some can't slap 'em!!"

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Fri Nov 02, 2001 1:03 pm

This week in Australia a few hours north of where I live some 8 year old kid belted a teacher in the chest instantly stunning him and putting him in hospital last night the teacher died from a heatattack.

Now, I think each case should be looked at differently, My mum is actually a child phyciatrist and the strories Ive heard from her blow me away.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 1:07 pm

Misbehaviour is not the fault of the child but rather the parents. They are the ones who should be beat. No child is born evil and his actions later on in life reflect the values that he learned at a very you age. I like the anology of a newborn being like an empty VHS tape, eventualy its contents reflect those who taped it.
Once a child is raised in a certain way, abuse will not solve the child's faults or shorcomings but teach it to react with violence when something dosn't please it. As the saying goes, violence dosn't solve anything. Just my $00.2
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 1:36 pm

There's nothing wrong with a little spanking! It's quite customary in Asia to use physical force to discipline children. Do Asian kids exhibit symptoms of abuse? Hell no! Spanking CAN do good- in moderation, of course.

BTW, I've been beat with a mop once back in the days. Big grin And I'm serious! Oh, those good ol' days....
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 2:40 pm

Yikes, not to sound like an old geezer saying"when I was young" but ......... when I was young and in high school 1981 graduate (public suburban school). The VP would paddle the "evil one's). His paddle was a sawed off hockey goal stick with holes drilled through it to make it whistle before the strike. Not to worry most of the "evil one's" are either in jail or working in one.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 2:45 pm

I've been caned, slapped and pinched by my parents, and I hate every moment of it.I will never cane or do any of those things to my children in the future.Instead, I will try persuading them or denying them their favourite things such as the TV. Parents should do that. Coporal punishment does nothing but harm little children.

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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 4:06 pm

If a kid won't listen (and many of today's spoiled brats won't...) a good spanking may help.
If they won't listen, let them feel. It worked for centuries, and people were no worse for it. Ever since parents are no longer allowed to discipline their own children, youth criminality has risen dramatically.

School is tougher, but lacking the parents to put some discipline into them, it is the last resort (or else we need police offices in every school to take care of punishing kids who throw things at their teachers).
Now, I do not agree with beating up a kid who doesn't do her homework (or writes lefthanded, which my mother was beaten senseless for until she stopped doing it), but many teachers nowadays are afraid to step into the classroom because of the physical and verbal abuse, including being beaten by the kids (which they cannot defend themselves against as it might hurt one of those defenseless little creatures).
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 7:00 pm

It is interesting to hear everyones opinion. I still strong disagree with it. Here is why:

1) With all the bad parents out there today, it would not be done with love, or even rationally, but more as a vent.

2) I was in the grocery store a couple weeks ago, while collecting my 7 tins of soup (lunch for a week) there was a kid who must have been 6-7 tell her 3-4 year old sister if she did not go back the trolley she would 'get a smack'. I do not think anyone 3-4 should know about it, it just does not seem right.

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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 7:10 pm

when I was that age, I knew to behave. Nowadays, I see children picking food of the shelves and eating it in the store, the parents don't even reprimand them because they are afraid to be seen to be too strict with their offspring.
What do you think, does this teach the kids that stealing from stores is bad? I don't think so, it teaches them it is OK. I learned early on to respect other peoples' property, these days children think they can just do anything and take anything...
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 7:56 pm

If an adult spanks anyone kid or adult who is noncencenting it is vioence - full stop! Therefore should be punished. No excuse if you´re a parent or a teacher.

But concenting spanking between adults is ok in my book - and quite a turn on!
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 02, 2001 9:25 pm

Well, I'm in Sixth Form, I'd allow teachers to slap us students only on condition that we would be allowed to slap back... wow, there'd be a few teachers I'd love to slap!
No, really, I think it's not right, there'd be a great many teachers who'd overuse of this. For one thing I've been brought up by my parents and hardly ever slapped, and it's worked, getting told off is more educating in my opinion than corporal punishment.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Sat Nov 03, 2001 4:42 am

I'm going to raise my kid with an electric cattle prod.  Big thumbs up

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RE: Smacking Kids?

Sat Nov 03, 2001 10:21 am

There is the interesting thing though, as a kid I was smacked by my parents and one of my teahcers.

By no means do I resent my parent for hitting me, I think I came out pretty dam close to perfect, and looking back what I back then was incredible naughty and I probably deserved it.

The teacher is a different issue, which probably makes me feel so strongly about this subject. We where painting and me and another kid (Andrew Slade [talk about a memory that was over 10 years ago]) went to wash our hands as we where done. Well we went to the bathroom on that floor, and I locked the door! Big mistake as we where unable to open it. The teachers finally got the door open, and when we walked out we where asked who did it. I can not rememder if I claimed responsibility at that time, or if Andrew said it was me, but the teacher grabbed my hair and smacked me, but what was worse she gave me a black mark too! What was really f*cked up about the whole ordeal, is the door lock would not open as it was broken, and had nothing to do with me! If I did see that teacher agian, I would certainly give her a hard time over the situation!! I feel she was way out of line!!

RE: Smacking Kids?

Sat Nov 03, 2001 11:08 am

"...the teacher grabbed my hair and smacked me.." Why didn't you report it to the police like any other child under 16 would do in the UK?

How often do you hear from youth: "You can't touch me!" whilst continually causing greif in a local community and keep getting away with it over and over again?

It's only when they turn into that magical age of 16, make one more "mistake" you will find our authorities will cart them off into the back of a paddy wagon and beat them sh*tless with glee!

It that civilised progress?

Corporal punishment should never, never have been banished in UK schools.

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RE: Smacking Kids?

Sat Nov 03, 2001 2:10 pm

Some of these rich bitch suburbanite parents make me sick. They try to reason with a 2 year old. 'Don't do that sweety....Oh Honey, You need to behave..." All the while the kid is writing with markers all over the wall in the aircraft. Gimme a break people! Slap the kid on the ass! They'll learn really quick. All it takes is one whack on the rear end to let that kid know their actions are inappropriate. I can't stand when parents resort to logic to tame their kids. IT DOESN't WORK!
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Sun Nov 04, 2001 4:48 am

"I think I came out pretty dam close to perfect"'ll make a good airline pilot someday.

You should never hit a kid anywhere but in the butt. But if a kid is really misbehaving and doesn't respond to having priviliges taken away....I think spanking should be okay.

I EVER see someone hit a kid in the face or in the stomach....they are gonna get a face full of me and the cops are gonna get called....and I'm almost a pacifist.

RE: Smacking Kids?

Sun Nov 04, 2001 4:57 am

EDIpic I was 6, at that age police only lock up robbers! I really could not care about it, I just think she was out of line!

DE727UPS I totally agree with you. I also think you, like my parents and some others would make good judgement about what warrants a smack and what does not, however there are many parents who over do it.
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Sun Nov 04, 2001 6:00 am

When I was going to kindergarden in Mexico, just because I got up without permission she grabbed my hair and put me in a corner. IT WAS PAINFULL since i had long hair. My feet were like three inches from the ground.

RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 09, 2001 8:07 am

Just watching a TV debate about this and 5 things mentioned that I totally agree with that have been mentioned.
They are:
1) When some one who is 6 foots and weighs 200 lbs, hits some one who is 3-4 foot and weigh 70 lbs, is bullying.
2) Hiiting a kid is misbehaving too, and is generally worse then what the kid did.
3) There is always ways to punish a kid without hitting them.
4) What about the kids rights?
5) Hitting a child is a failure of parenting

Today England and Wales kicked out the ideas of banning
Hit a kid under 3
Hit them around the head
Hit them with instruments

All of these as far as I am concerned are abuse. All of these seem way out of line. C'mon hitting a kid under 3, smacking around the head., is nothing more criminal!!
You can control kids without hitting them, it takes more creativity, but it certainly can be done!
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 09, 2001 10:43 am

>>I EVER see someone hit a kid in the face or in the
>>stomach....they are gonna get a face full of me and
>>the cops are gonna get called....and I'm almost a

Woah... I've been hit, kicked, punched, and even thrown by my father.

Needless to say I never really did those things anymore!

- Neil Harrison
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RE: Smacking Kids?

Fri Nov 09, 2001 4:21 pm

Everything in moderation. I think parents should be able to spank their children, but not beat them. People get out of control. It certainly worked with me and I really have never gotten into any major problem. Neither have any other kids in family.

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