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Olympic A-340
Topic Author
Posts: 738
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2000 3:28 am

Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 6:59 am

You know what...I have had a lot of support from this forum before, and now I think I need it again. My mom and I were having a perfect Christmas. We listened to music, gave each other presents, and even baked something (she never bakes  Big grin ). Out of niceness, she suggested that my father come and stay for dinner with our company. Well he just arrived and guess what folks!? He is drunk of a horse. I will be DAMNED if he has to ruin another Christmas for us!. That is why we left him in the the first place last year. He has a huge drinking problem, and cannot admit it to himself.

The way I percieve it, he is taking advantage of my mother's niceness. She invited him, in the hopes that we would as a true family be thankful for not losing anyone in the attacks, and also being healthy and happy. BUT NO...he decides to verbally abuse my mother because of what she cooked, the second he walked in the door. She slaved over this meal the whole day.

Well look...I don't care that he is an alcoholic or my father. Anyone who depends on a substance so much IS A COWARD. And frankly, my father can simply go to hell.
Thanx dad for another ruined Christmas.

I am really sorry I had to "ruin" the spirit of the forum right now-I just felt like venting, because frankly I do not want to start an argument with my dad and hurt my mom even more. I suppose there are people that have it harder than I do, but can't he just control his fuc***** habit for one day out of the year?
 
VirginA340
Posts: 2556
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:35 pm

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 8:09 am

Join the club pal. The spirit of christmas was alive and well when I was a kid. When I transfered to my University after I graduated from a county college with an associates in Graphic Desgin I felt that the joy went away. It's been months since I saw alot of people due to the busy semester. The emotional fallout after 9-11 did not help at all. You tend to notice these things when you serve as a volunteer on the FD as long as I did.

I hope things will get better once I actually get married and have kids. hopeflly seeing my kids celebrate Christmas like I did or even better willl rekindle my joy that once was during the holiday season. It's so punishing to be an only child in the family and look at the holiday season as "just another day". When you're stuck with parents who stay at home and you have friends who are busy at owrk or with stuff from school or even too far away to do anything. But just seeing others have a great diner or seeing people just joking around the tree with eggnog as christmas music new and traditonal is playing on the radio makes the holidays worth celebrating.

I do the best I can to make others better like volunteer my time at a soup kitchen or donate toys to the toys for tots program. Just helping out the less fortionate during the holiday season is heart warming and comforting knowing that even though your christmas isn't that great; someone elses is because you helped out just a bit.

I remember on my days as a volunteer there were two families that lost their homes. days later we'd drive up with warm meals, clothes and toys donated by local merchants. To see a smile on their kids faces and the parents relief that their children would have a Christmas and that hope is not lost is one way of making you smile. We'd even allow the kids to sit in the truck, pull the horn and operate the lights and siren's.

I miss those days but I'll never forget on how fun it was. If I don't find a good enough job in the field of graphic design I hope one day to come back to the FD once my education is over and I get a Bachelors.
"FUIMUS"
 
VirginA340
Posts: 2556
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:35 pm

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 8:13 am

PS my father was like last year where he had a bit too much of the BUD l was ready to throw his ass out the door. my mom on the other hand tried ot be a bit more diplomatic about the whole thing like a ref. After that disasterous christmas he never touched a drop but he tends to say the stupidest things.
"FUIMUS"
 
Aeromexico495
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2001 11:51 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 8:21 am

The same thing has happened with me and my dad. But my dad was both an alcoholic and a drugattic. He was sent by orders of a judge to Alcoholics Anonymous andsome other classes for drugattics. Try to find out if there are any AA programs around you. That is guaranteed to work. My dad was an alcoholic for 36 years and now he has been sober since March!!
 
Olympic A-340
Topic Author
Posts: 738
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2000 3:28 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 8:29 am

He doesn't accept that he has a problem!...that is step 1. In my opinion he is a coward, because deep down he knows he is an alcoholic he just doesn't want to say he is. Right now, my mom and I are doing well. I made her a bouquet of fresh flowers, and I put them on the table to cheer her up (it worked  Smile ). All I am concerned about is being wiht my mom and her friends, and being thankful for her being there for me always.
 
Aussiemite
Posts: 846
Joined: Sat Jun 24, 2000 12:04 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 9:54 am

We had to call the cops on our next door neighbours after the father and 20 year old son threatend to kill my mum. She asked them to not throw their tree branchs into out yard and they just went off. We recorded pretty much all of it on tape though. A few hours later I was in my backyard under a tree reading and the 2 of them are sitting there baiting me saying "If he cared about his family he would get up and stop us" & "I wanna bash him just for the fun of it no other reason" etc

When the police finally arrived mum briefed them and they went around gave these guys a stern talking to also told them to turn their flood lights off which for the past 3 weeks theyve left on all night pointed at our windows (cant sleep) It was hell ass funny cause they told their guest they phoned the police on us.

These guys are jealous of alot of things their 20 year old son is unemployed where as I have pretty much always had a job or been keeping busy. Every 3 days I do 150chinups in the backyard in a single sitting, their son trys to do one but he can't etc etc.
 
EIPremier
Posts: 1468
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2000 8:17 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 10:04 am

Anyone who depends on a substance so much IS A COWARD.

My sentiments exactly.

BTW, I can empathize with you to a certain extent, as my father also has a bit of a drinking problem. Like yours, he won't admit to having a problem. He's generally a very understanding person and always very restrained as far as his physical behavior is concerned. However, when he's had a few too many, he becomes verbally abusive, and gets into these tirades over the most trivial of subjects. He usually gets in an arguement with my mom, unless he can't find any particular source of friction, in which case he usually starts an arguement with me.

Anyway, I've learned not to take him too seriously when he's drunk, as he usually can't remember anything of it the next day and tries to sweep the whole topic aside.
 
Olympic A-340
Topic Author
Posts: 738
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2000 3:28 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 10:24 am

ElPremier,
That is exactly how my dad is. Good to know I am not the only one who has a dad like that.
 
Guest

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 12:38 pm

My dad isn't an alcoholic, but he's an asshole. A big one.

Earlier I was having a great Christmas, but I knew that this year, like EVERY year, he'd spoil it for all of us. He always ruins Christmas, because first of all, before we're allowed to open any presents, we have to clean the house and do chores. Well, I was way ahead of him today and got the house SPOTLESS last night before I went to bed.

So no chores this morning.

Well things went well, I appreciated and liked every single present I got from them, but on the drive over to my Grandma's house to open presents over there, he could do nothing but cut me down the entire way over, and it was silly stupid stuff. Well except this one thing.

I mentioned to him that my new year's resolution was to commit myself to getting enough money to take flight school next summer. And he proceeded to tell me how worthless I was as a DRIVER, let alone a PILOT, and that he would never let me take flight school as long as he was alive. I asked him why and he said "Because I don't believe you can make it, you CANT make it. You're not mature enough, you're not responsible enough, hell you can't even carry an argument!

Pilot my ass, you can be a pilot when I'm dead, till then shut your face, God I've never heard someone so selfish."

I was not being selfish in the least just saying how I was going to committ myself to learning how to fly.  Crying

He really hurt my feelings, and it kept on all day. He insulted me between every grandparent's house, and it just was a horrible Christmas.

Then we came home and he's done nothing but yell at me. Our trash bins are overflowing with trash, and he tells me to put all of the boxes from today in the trash. I told him "Ther'es no more room, it will have to wait till the garbage truck comes tomorrow." and he went ballistic, and I got out of the room as fast as I could because I KNEW if I stayed there he'd hit me again.  Crying

Anyway, he's upstairs right now, taking down the christmas tree, and yelling at everyone, and I'm down here in the bottom floor of the house, running boxes back and forth, and typing in between. Adn yes he's yelling at me too, and so far, this Christmas has been quite sad.

I have sort of a love-hate relationship with Christmas. I love Christmas, but I hate it because EVERY YEAR, my dad ruins it, and cuts us all down, and it gets you to the point where you're afraid for Christmas day to come, because it IS the same every year, no exceptions.

Mrry Christmas dad.  Crying

Aloha 737-200
 
America West
Posts: 1151
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2001 6:54 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Wed Dec 26, 2001 12:54 pm

My uncle showed up on Christmas Eve, and he was drunk too. He was hitting on my Mom for a little while. He also was harassing us all with the video camera. My Aunt was trying to sleep in the other room, and he went in there and stuck the camera in her face. She was pissed, and ended up cussing him out Insane. Eventually, he ended up passing out in his food and spending the night. Smile
 
VirginA340
Posts: 2556
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:35 pm

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Thu Dec 27, 2001 4:44 am

Aloha; I'm surprised you didn't let Smith and Wesson deal with him.

Look on how I set him strait, I gave him a phsical ultimatum. Now he doesn't say much except for the occasional argument which lasts no more than 5 min and that is about every month or so. muscles and fists pay off. No he knows not to mess with someone bigger than him especially with a ex fireman with connections in the NYPD.

Trust me Aloha; Your dad needs an ass kicking How about you pay a couple of guys in an ally or your high school football team to unleash some unessesary ruffness at the end he'll be their bi*ch.

I do have faith that you will be a great 737 pilot for aloha in 10 years or less.
"FUIMUS"
 
Guest

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Thu Dec 27, 2001 6:27 am

^^ if he listens to you he will be in prison for 10 years or more! What a stupid suggestion!
Iain
 
VirginA340
Posts: 2556
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:35 pm

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Thu Dec 27, 2001 6:43 am

Not if he keeps his mouth shut and tell the judge on the hell he has been through since Day 1 that this moron wlaked into his life. Apparently Aloha didn't take the unanimous plea of a.net members and leave to grandmas or wherever he feels safe. The law enforcment in his town is is a joke considering that they have done next to nothing about the situation since two a.net members have notified local officials there.
"FUIMUS"
 
mls515
Posts: 2958
Joined: Mon Jun 26, 2000 5:56 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Thu Dec 27, 2001 7:15 am

VirginA340-

I mean no disrespect, but can you go three posts without mentioning that you're ex-FDNY?
 
SophieMaltese
Posts: 2022
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2001 2:08 pm

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Thu Dec 27, 2001 7:25 am

That sucks. Have you ever gone to Al-anon? Sometimes just knowing there are others that have the same problem can help. I'm sorry you have to go through that.
 
VirginA340
Posts: 2556
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:35 pm

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Thu Dec 27, 2001 8:30 am

Hell no  Smile/happy/getting dizzy When you mention that on the streets of NY no one messes with you. Because it's like messing with the PD. The perp won't makeit 3 blocks from the loaction without being caught and getting his face kicked in. then it's off to Rikers for him to be someone's fresh meat.
"FUIMUS"
 
Guest

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Thu Dec 27, 2001 8:36 am

Virgin violence is not the answer. You have to remember there are 2 sides to every story how do we know what Aloha is saying is accurate. Also if Aloha really wanted help (if the probs are that bad) he can go to his teacher, GP, school nurse who are all required by law to report it. WIth him not doing this it makes you wonder what is really happening.
Iain
 
lewis
Posts: 3586
Joined: Thu Jul 08, 1999 5:41 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Fri Dec 28, 2001 12:24 am

Alec, I am so sorry to hear that. My father used to have the same problem but in a smaller scale due to his job. Two years ago he started quitting and now he hasn't drunk a glass of wine for months (this is strange for greeks). I would have given you some advice but i dunno how this suddenly changed. Good luck! Don't let this spoil your christmas vacation!
 
Stretch 8
Posts: 2468
Joined: Fri May 28, 1999 4:00 am

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Fri Dec 28, 2001 1:40 am

Olympic A340:

My father drank himself to death. But I was able to connect with him and try and understand his perspective before he died. I understand your feelings. Don't give up on your father. If you do, you will regret the decision as long as you live. I promise you will.
Maggs swings, it's a drive deep to left! The Tigers are going to the World Series!!!
 
Guest

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Fri Dec 28, 2001 4:22 am

Iainhol,

I ahve talked to the teachers, and I have talked to the police for your information, but I talked to the police first. I would not give them my name because I do not want my dad arrested and my family torn apart, I just asked them questions about me moving out. To which they told me, the second I leave that house, they are required to bring me back by law, and should the state decided not to return me to my parents house, due to abuse, then I would be awarded to the state, put up for adoption, and be taken to a foster family for a year.

Now, there is one person in spokane who offered me a place to stay, and he's coming to Pocatello to meet me in person, and we're going to make plans. He is DE727UPS here on the forum.

I want to go live at his house, but Idaho law will prohibit that, and force me to go someplace I don't want to go. It's a stupid law that keeps people like me in a bad situation.  Sad

I have also talked to the tachers, and the counselors, but I did that after I talked to the police. Therefore, they are not required to report it again, as I've already been there.


VirginA340,

"Look on how I set him strait, I gave him a phsical ultimatum. Now he doesn't say much except for the occasional argument which lasts no more than 5 min and that is about every month or so. muscles and fists pay off. No he knows not to mess with someone bigger than him especially with a ex fireman with connections in the NYPD. "

I'm not sure I understand what you mean, could you maybe explain?


Aloha 737-200
 
Guest

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Fri Dec 28, 2001 6:12 am

Aloha - I did not realize what steps you have taken and the whole situation. I do apologize for my comments, and wish you all the best in the future. I am pleased DE727UPS is helping you out, I have chatetd to him numerous times on the computer and he seems to be one of the nicest, most caring people I have meet.
Iain
 
Guest

RE: Isn't It Great To Have An Alcoholic Father!

Fri Dec 28, 2001 7:24 am

Thank Iain, and just so you know, I was only playing on that other thread, "Has An Airliners.net Member Ever..."

Hope you didn't take offense to it.

Aloha 737-200!!  Wink/being sarcastic

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