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This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:40 am
by Guest
Most of you have read the scare mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. While that was an "urban legend", this is not. It's happening everywhere, every day. Please share this warning with your friends. It's happened to me, and you may already be a victim!

My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years ago. It was quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of porridge. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been truly, if not imperfectly, mine?

Whose thighs were these? What happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer searching for them. I looked, in vain, at pools and beaches, anywhere that I might find female limbs exposed. I became obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and control tights.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took great pains to match my new bum (although badly attached at least three inches lower than the original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. Now my bum complements my legs, lump for miserable lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would remain in style.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arm swung to and fro with the motion of a hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced, cleverly one section at a time.

In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my t-shirts. What could they do to me next? Age? Age had nothing to do with it! Age was supposed to creep up, unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked! Repeatedly and without warning.

That's why I've decided to share my story. Women of the World Wake Up and Smell the Coffee!! That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using!

You can look in the mirror and know where they are getting their replacement parts! The next time you hear that someone has had a "face lift" look closely---was it lifted from you??? Check out those tummy tucks and buttock lifts.

Look familiar? Are those your eyelids over there?

I think I have finally found my thighs...and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid good money for them!!

This is not a HOAX! This is happening to women all over the world. Share this warning with the women you love!





RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:53 am
by Guest
...or you could just try exercizing.


-Normal

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:27 am
by Continental
You are a fricken NUT.

co

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:33 am
by b757300
"I have mother's thighs, I...have to accept that."  Laugh out loud

(Anyone remember where this comes from?)

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:47 am
by MD-90
That dumb commercial where the guys are all getting in touch with their out of shape side. The guy who said that was sitting on a barstool and just acting sort of accepting/remorseful. I don't remember what the commercial was trying to sell, however.

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 10:38 am
by aa61hvy
ADG-Go jogging/walking.. Eat better also. Remember your age, sometimes you can't change time's course.

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 10:43 am
by Guest
 Laugh out loud

*chuckle*





ADG

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:01 am
by EGGD
Use Nivea Pantene Pro V plus or whatever.

That'll make your hair silky and full of volume, your skin feel younger and without wrinkles and will firm up your skin!

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:16 am
by aa61hvy
Do you work at the Cosmetic Counter EGGD?  Wink/being sarcastic

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:27 am
by airplay
I've noticed that I'm growing hair in places that never had any. It's great though. I never had any chest hair, but now I just let the hair on my shoulders and back grown long and comb it over. Now my wife can run her hands through my "chest hair".

And why does God suddenly think I need hair in my ears? Is evolution preparing me with some kind of defense mechanism? Will that extra ear hair bind with the wax and give me natural ear plugs so I don't have to listen to Eminem?


RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 2:12 pm
by MxCtrlr
As my dear Aunt once said to me (and I think she stole this line from Erma Bombeck), with the flab sagging from her arms, she's no longer a limbed female, she's now Rocky the Flying Squirrel (Moose & Squirrel - Its always about Moose & Squirrel - Boris Badenov)!

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 2:49 pm
by IMissPiedmont
OK enough negative. My girlfriend, youngest woman in relative terms I've ever date (she's only 40). feels the same. For some unfathomble reason she thinks she's lost her looks. I've seen pictures of her at 20, 25 and 35 yeras of age and she is far more beautiful now than in any of those pictures. She worries about things that I don't while overlooking my advancing years, except my white hair. For some reason, that bothers her. But I earned it.

Anywhoo, why do women criticize themselves but accept a mans aging? ADG, I assure you that you are every bit as beautiful as you may have been 20 years ago.

PYM, if you see this, I love you!

Steve

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:26 pm
by sccutler
Steve:

Kudos to you for posting the truth: Women are rarely correct in their own critical self-assessments. I know what I see when I look at my wife (of twenty years as of last Wednesday), and it's the good stuff.

ADG, you are a whole person, not a collection of "parts" (thighs, bum, boobs, etc.) and, while I am sure that you are joking in your post, be sure you don't buy that crap for yourself.

Many young women (girls, really) are provocative to look at, but are (as my friend GQ puts it) "tits on a stick." Give me, any day, a true woman, built of alluring curves, mysterious eyes, a searing wit.

The boys can keep the girls, I prefer women.

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:34 pm
by Guest
Hmmm.. thanks for all the advice guys, you do realise don't you that this is a take off of the "bath full of ice without your kidneys" story?

 Laugh out loud

Personally I can see advantages in a saggy bum (comfy seat) and quite frankly in Canberras winter my knees will not suffer from the cold  Laugh out loud

Anyone who thinks being young is better than middle age hasn't got to middle age yet. I'd rather be here saggy tits and all then back where I was when I was 21 for oh so many reasons.

 Laugh out loud




ADG

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 2:52 am
by Greg
Don't let anybody tell you different:
Young is better than old.
It's a Hell of a lot nicer to be 20 than 30!
Anyone else is just masking their 'age issue'

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 4:05 am
by Guest
LAME  Yeah sure


DeltaASA16

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 5:05 am
by flight152
There is always face lifts and plastic surgery available.

Must be an American thing.  Big grin

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 6:26 am
by Guest
Greg,

that's just sad ... you're right though there are people who cannot cope with growing old .. they have my pity because they're never going to be happy.





ADG

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 7:04 am
by sccutler
Being young was great.

But maturing has its advantages as well.

When I head home at the end of the day, walk in and see my wife, it is with pleasant anticipation, not indifference or dread. She was a babe the day I met her, and she's one today, in many ways more appealing than ever.

Would I trade her in on a new model? Not on your life!

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 1:07 pm
by mirrodie
And yet once a day, I have my older patients telling me, "Doc, don't get old!"