Caught My Roomate In The ACT....

Guest · Tue Oct 14, 2003 12:12 pm

Yup that's right, this evening on my way back from walgreens I walk to my door, swing the door open and guess what I see...my roomie with his shorts down to his thighs sitting in front of his computer stroking his sausage.

Of course his tries quickly not only to pull his shorts, but to cover up what he's watching on his comp. I just merely act as though I don't take notice and chuckle. What makes things even more funny is that this is the THIRD time I caught him.

Am I right in assuming that the first thing you do if you want to pleasure urself is to make sure everywhere is locked, well that was not the case here. All three times the door was left unlocked and I saw everything.

This time I want to tease him a little about it without him nessarily knowing that I know. I was thinking of writing a little note to him before I go to class how does this sound:

"Next time lock the door, and I don't mean before bedtime Wink/being sarcastic

" or
"When taken care of buisness, LOCK THE DOOR Laugh out loud

"

Can yall think of anything catchy I can write? I can't wait to see his face!

desertjets · Tue Oct 14, 2003 12:19 pm

I once explained this to one of my former female roomates. When two or more guys inhabit a dormroom, it is an unspoken rule that when you are supposed to be gone for class or whatnot, that you be gone so the other person can take care of business so to speak.

So your roomate needs to rethink his masturbatory habits, and lock the door when he feels the need to squeeze.

cancidas · Tue Oct 14, 2003 12:23 pm

a tie tied to the doorknob serves the same purpose.

but what sucks, walking in on a friend's roommate doing with a guy in my freind's bed. he didn't know the other guy was gay, i had no idea how to break it to him.

[Edited 2003-10-14 05:27:06]

kevi747 · Tue Oct 14, 2003 12:29 pm

You're supposed to make a lot of unnecessary noise (jangling of keys, fumbling with the lock, or pretending to drop your bookbag all work fine) as you enter the dorm/apartment. You could even shout, "Hey, are you home?" as you come in. What ever you do, make sure you allow at least a good 7 seconds for the roommate to cover any incriminating evidence. This will help avoid any future awkward moments.

bigphilnyc · Tue Oct 14, 2003 12:38 pm

"Lock the door before you walk the dog."

"Your purple monster is a secret, make sure no one can see it."

"Wipe the keyboard when you're done"

"You may not need condoms, but at least get a splashguard."

or better yet:

"No wonder you stroke it, with a schlong that small, no wya you can get a girl."

covert · Tue Oct 14, 2003 2:03 pm

I thought the funny part was coming back from Walgreens.

Signed,
AA61Hvy

FlyboyOz · Tue Oct 14, 2003 5:17 pm

Wow! that's quite odd...how come he didnt care whether you're in or not. Probably, he is gay? (just kidding)...I think u should knock the door at the corridor (I mean outside your apartment not his room door). After u knocked it, u pretended that you lost your keys. Then he will come out and cover up quickly.

Well...I caught my schoolmate many times that he always stretches his sauage in order to make his pants feel comfortable and fit. It made me laugh quietly. What i am going to say to my mate? Like I said "Stop making fussy?" "stop stetching in front of me?"

Cheers

bigphilnyc · Tue Oct 14, 2003 8:38 pm

I would just call him "Peter" from now on. lol

david b. · Tue Oct 14, 2003 10:13 pm

If you were a good roomate, you would have given him a hand Big thumbs up

LHMark · Tue Oct 14, 2003 10:38 pm

So M&m, how long have you been rooming with KROC now?

Stretch 8 · Tue Oct 14, 2003 10:43 pm

Let's face it lads, we ALL stroke our sausages. M&M, you are probably more discrete with your self-pleasuring than your roommate. Just ask him to try and be discrete. He should respect your privacy as you respects his.

Matt D · Tue Oct 14, 2003 11:55 pm

I agree with Stretch 8.

What is the big deal? We ALL have experienced self-induced orgasms at some point in our lives. It sure beats getting a hooker or going down to the noodie-both and risk getting arrested, or getting tangles up in an Internet fiasco.

When my cousin Steve came down a couple of weeks ago, I told him where I keep my DVD's and Videos, offered him a bottle of motion lotion, and a clean towel, and a trash bag to put it in when he was done, and that I was going to sleep for the night and for him to clean up when he was done.

He too seemed a little shell shocked, but then quickly thanked me for the down to earth attitude. So while I was in my room drifting off to sleep, he was in the den, watching "Hot Showers Vol. 5"

Delboy · Wed Oct 15, 2003 12:49 am

What's your problem, it's his and he will wash it as fast as he likes.

KROC · Wed Oct 15, 2003 1:19 am

Let's face it lads, we ALL stroke our sausages

I don't like to stroke my sausage...I just like stroking other guys sausages.

Signed, LhmARK

N6376M · Wed Oct 15, 2003 2:08 am

Kroc,

Sorry but that's a weak retort to LhmArk's post. IMO it deserves the coveted "knock out" picture.

Let's give credit where credit is due!

Big grin

aa61hvy · Wed Oct 15, 2003 3:09 am

God, I wish I could catch my roomate in the act
Signed, Covert

LHMark · Wed Oct 15, 2003 3:15 am

Yeah! You tell 'Im, N6376m! Testify!

KROC · Wed Oct 15, 2003 3:28 am

Why is that AA61hvy? You and Jcs flying in tonight?

N6376m - hey, I'm not perfect all the time. Thing is, for that comment, you now have LHMark on your nutsack. But then again, having a dude on your sack is nothing new for you right? Big grin

And lets face it. Nobody will make a worse post than Covert did earlier in the thread.

aa61hvy · Wed Oct 15, 2003 3:39 am

Nah my post needs to be deleted because it should be in the Matt D in NYC-Love fest thread.

UAL747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 3:43 am

The stupid gay jokes just keep going and going and going, without anyone caring if they are offending. Gotta love America. Gay jokes are still politically correct racism. Why don't we make fun of some black people now, or maybe some of them jews?

UAL747

KROC · Wed Oct 15, 2003 3:45 am

Or maybe little rich kids at SMU?

UAL747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 3:47 am

KROC, you know it's not the same thing. Several other people have emailed me about how offensive some people are about gays on this forum. Same thing as racism. I mean, can you explain logically why it's okay to make fun of gay people and not blacks?

UAL747

aa61hvy · Wed Oct 15, 2003 4:01 am

I make fun of people who I know can take a joke. I know JCS and Matt D are not gay.. KROC may be, but he can take a joke. I won't make fun of a gay person directly.

N6376M · Wed Oct 15, 2003 4:24 am

KROC,

You're reaching. LHMark's comment was laugh out loud funny.

Come on - post the knock out picture and be done with it! He's earned it.

-76M

UAL747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:22 am

"I make fun of people who I know can take a joke. I know JCS and Matt D are not gay.. KROC may be, but he can take a joke. I won't make fun of a gay person directly. "

Okay, you're totally missing my point. I don't care whether they can take a joke or not. It's still offensive.

So you are going to tell me that you don't make fun of a gay person directly. So you make fun of them behind their backs? That's even worse. Do you also make fun of black people behind their backs?

So please, in your next signed by post, please say:

"Because I'm a big 'ole stupid black boy."
Signed, KROC (Or whoever you chose)

Wouldn't that be funny? And I'm sure you won't offend anyone, because these people can take a joke, right?

UAL747

[Edited 2003-10-14 22:29:39]

aa61hvy · Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:23 am

I joke around with my black friends... I'll say a racist joke and they will do one right back. Whats your point?

Matt D · Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:25 am

So far nobody has earned the KO.

However, as a nice consolation prize (and please don't let your consoling get too far out of control), I can tell you that

UAL747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:26 am

Yeah, because you know those people, and you don't do it on a PUBLIC forum. When you do it here, everyone sees it, and some people are offended. Personally, I am, and so are other people.

UAL747

Matt D · Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:29 am

and some people are offended. Personally, I am, and so are other people.

so would you be offended if I told you that I was having roast leg of lamb cooked in KY mint jelly, with a side of bratwurst for dinner, and an extra helping of fudgecicles for dessert?

Or would you be jealous?

UAL747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:30 am

What does that have to do with anything? I don't care what you eat.

Matt D · Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:31 am

Stay tuned pal. Believe me. LOTS of people will see it. Big grin

UAL747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:34 am

Fuck off dude.......I can't believe some of you.....absolutely no fucking respect. Your as bad as a damn 7th grader.

[Edited 2003-10-14 22:35:10]

gocaps16 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 6:01 am

Watch your mouth.

-Cast

Aloha717200 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 6:09 am

Seconded!

filler filler fill

learpilot · Wed Oct 15, 2003 6:10 am

Someone get Rodney Dangerfield there a sense of humor.

N6376M · Wed Oct 15, 2003 6:14 am

Ual747 -

Dude calm down. Not everything is a reason for a verbal riot.

I suggest that you hang a tie on your dorm room door and log onto the appropriate websites and experience "self-induced orgasm" as MattD calls them. Maybe then you'll be able to relax a bit.

This is just some childish locker room talk --> don't make a federal case out of it.

Signed,
Elton John

Stretch 8 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 6:21 am

gay or straight, one thing we can all agree on: self-induced orgasms can be great fun, unless you are caught in the act in mid-spurt.

covert · Wed Oct 15, 2003 7:02 am

I don't have a roomate...

kevi747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 7:32 am

Ual747, try not to get so offended. These guys really aren't being homophobic intentionally, they're just dumbasses. If you ever hung out with straight guys you know what I'm talking about. Calling each other "fags" is what passes as humor for them. I started a thread back in July stating that the "signed by" were tired and played out, and look....they're still using them....constantly. They still think its terribly funny. They're wrong, of course. But, just as in real life, its their world and we just live in it. But keep your head up, because the trade-off is this: We'll always be hip, while they're destined to die average.

LHMark · Wed Oct 15, 2003 7:45 am

Mention to most straight guys that they would participate in male/male sexual contact and they'll go into paroxysms of rage. Therein lies the humor. It's totally different from ripping into gay dudes because of their orientation.

N766UA · Wed Oct 15, 2003 7:49 am

Gay humor is "in." Get used to it. Everyone says it so it becomes engrained in your mind. I say stuff like that all the time, does that mean I'm simple minded and racist? I don't think so.. it's just joking around. Lighten up!!

PS- Gay isn't a race. I'm sick of gay people trying to say they have less rights and are a minority and yadda yadda. So you can't marry another guy or whatever, who cares. Straight guys don't marry guys either so, basically, you have the same rights as every other white guy in the country.

covert · Wed Oct 15, 2003 7:55 am

Mention to most straight guys that they would participate in male/male sexual contact and they'll go into paroxysms of rage

Don't mention that to me, I will turn into an example.

LHMark · Wed Oct 15, 2003 8:19 am

So, Covert, to bring it back on topic, what does YOUR roommate see on your screen when he catches you? Smile

KROC · Wed Oct 15, 2003 8:39 am

KROC, you know it's not the same thing. Several other people have emailed me about how offensive some people are about gays on this forum. Same thing as racism. I mean, can you explain logically why it's okay to make fun of gay people and not blacks?

Hey Richie Rich. why do these "people" email you, as opposed to those in charge of the site, that could actually do something about it?

"Because I'm a big 'ole stupid black boy."
Signed, KROC (Or whoever you chose)

This wouldn't work. I'm not black.

Ual747 - By all intents, I should delete your "Fuck Off" post, but I won't. I will leave it for 2 reasons. One, you will cry like a little girl if I do, and Two, I will leave it due to the fact you were trying to make a point.....somewhere.

You and Kevi need to open your eyes a bit. LHMark hit the nail on the head, about "fag jokes". Also, as for this being a public forum, there isn't anyone on here, who cannot possibly know that yes, a large group of users all crack jokes in whaever manner. Clearly with the large number of gay users, this is a place of tollerance, and if/when people are serious with their homophobic comments, then actions are taken. The posts you are crying about are no different than YOU creating a thread stereotyping SEVERAL users from this site. Nice try slugger, but you are missing here. Kevi. You my friend, I love how you "told us" the signed by posts were old and tired, yet you chose to do so my starting a thread that encouraged the posts. Well Done superstar. Nothing like a big blast of contradiction.

Hey people, lighten up. We all know the only time serious blasts occur are in the political threads. Big grin

covert · Wed Oct 15, 2003 8:43 am

I just posted five posts above yours that I don't have a goddamn roomate. And I am not ashamed to admit that I shift my gears it's better than getting aids from the 5 dollar tricks we have here.

UAL747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 8:44 am

KROC, I did email the site. Thank you. Now, why don't you just delete the fuck off post. I won't cry like a little girl. But if you are going to delete it, it might be a good idea to delete MattD's post which was what I was saying "Fuck off" to.

UAL747

[Edited 2003-10-15 01:46:56]

LHMark · Wed Oct 15, 2003 8:47 am

Oh, Come ON, Covert... a fine piece of prime angus beef like KROC is worth at least twelve dollars

Signed, AA61hvy

KROC · Wed Oct 15, 2003 8:49 am

Ual747 - Matt D's post broke no rules, yours did. And yeah, YOU emailed the site, but why do all these mysterious "offended" people email YOU as opposed to the site?

UAL747 · Wed Oct 15, 2003 8:52 am

Because of the posts I posted in the "Fundie baptist" thread, and some others on the Aviation forum. I have no idea why they aren't emailing the site, maybe they don't know how to? I dunno KROC, you want their email addresses so you can ask them yourself?

Delete the damn thing KROC if that's what you want to do. I don't care.

UAL747

[Edited 2003-10-15 01:55:03]

KROC · Wed Oct 15, 2003 9:01 am

Yes, compile me a list of these names, and send to [email protected] so I can see if I can help them with their greivences.

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