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alcregular
Topic Author
Posts: 2139
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:53 am

How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:23 am

Bit of a tricky issue, as I've never told anyone that the relationship is over, but how do you tell him without hurting him too much. I feel as if its time to end things with my boyfriend as things are not going too well. He is besotted with me and loves me so much but I don't feel the same anymore. Any help would be grateful.
Why drive when you can fly?
 
CaptOveur
Posts: 6064
Joined: Thu May 06, 2004 3:13 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:26 am

Step 1. Pile their stuff on the lawn

Step 2. Soak with several gallons of diesel fuel

Step 3. Light
Things were better when it was two guys in a dorm room.
 
FJWH
Posts: 931
Joined: Fri May 14, 2004 4:50 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:33 am

I got a realllly good one!!!!

IT'S OVER!!!!  Big grin.

No, to be serious, tell him the truth how you feel and what do you think of the situation. Improvise a bit and yeah he will be feeling sad etc but he will get over it after some weeks/months.

FJWH
FlightS in the next 3 months: MSP, PHX, MEM, NCE, TFS, BCN. All round trips from AMS
 
Rj111
Posts: 3007
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:02 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:34 am

If he likes you so much, you might has well exploit him for cash/favours/holidays/presents until he wants to dump you.


 
N6376M
Posts: 2310
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2003 12:54 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:35 am

YOU'RE FIRED.

.
.
.
.
 
NUAir
Posts: 1144
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2000 4:24 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:53 am

Sleep with his best friend

...if you already are

tell him you want to get married  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

"How Many Assholes we got on this ship?" - Lord Helmet
 
L-188
Posts: 29881
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:57 am

Why is it right before women right the heart right out of a mans chest, the first thing out of their mouths is that they still want to be, "freinds"
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
User avatar
EA CO AS
Posts: 15797
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RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:59 am

Because they naively think it will lessen the hurt the other person feels, and they also believe it will make them feel better about hurting someone deeply by rejecting them.

"Hey, I didn't TOTALLY destroy him - I said we could still be friends!"  Insane

Besides, we all know they don't REALLY mean they want to be friends - they want to be FRIENDLY. They want the amicable, "please grant me absolution for the hurt I've caused you," release from their own guilt breakup. They want you to go away, but not as an enemy who holds you in contempt from here on out.

[Edited 2004-10-05 23:02:33]
"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan

Comments made here are my own and are not intended to represent the official position of Alaska Air Group
 
theCoz
Posts: 3933
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 11:06 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 6:08 am

Tell him how you feel. Be honest and sincere. It's that simple.  Smile
 
Elisabete
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Aug 17, 2004 2:57 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 6:15 am

EA CO AS ..men play the same game ....Another famous line "You deserve better."


Alcregular -- Okay, I have a question ....suppose that the roles were reserved ..what if you really liked this guy, but he wanted to break-up with you?

Be honest and affirmative in your decision to break-up. Dont play games with his feelings...because in the future, someone may play games with your feelings....what is that saying "what goes around, comes around."
Get over it ! lol
 
Boeing7E7
Posts: 5512
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2004 9:35 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 6:22 am

I had a chick say once:

"You probably shouldn't call here anymore".

Ouch... Didn't know how to respond after that one other than to find a new chick.
 
Arniepie
Posts: 1454
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:00 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 6:39 am

I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere and landed in a dating-forum.

I guess that's what you get after a heafty night of binchdrinking
[edit post]
 
Capital146
Posts: 2099
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2003 8:45 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 6:39 am

I'm sure that you don't want to hurt him any more than is neccessary so just explain to him why you feel its time to go your separate ways and make sure he understands that it is definately finished. In the long run he will move on quicker if he isn't clinging on to false hopes. As horribly painful as it is at the time I've found it is better in the long run to make a complete break after a relationship rather than the 'lets remain friends' bit as you get over it quicker and you don't have to worry about how a potential new partner will feel about the ex still lurking (the dreaded ex can cause all sorts of unneccessary problems!).

Good luck.
Like a fine wine, one gets better with age.
 
ly7e7
Posts: 2233
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 3:15 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 6:42 am

"Sorry, it's not me - it's you"

"I was thinking about the future, ... and you are not in it! "
2 things are endless: ignorance and space
 
Arniepie
Posts: 1454
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:00 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 6:45 am

LY7E7.

Any other brilliant ideas?

I'm standing ready with pen & paper.
[edit post]
 
yhmfan
Posts: 579
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2004 2:44 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 6:55 am

Paul Simon said it best in "50 ways to leave your lover":

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

 Smile/happy/getting dizzy
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
 
Imonti
Posts: 399
Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:49 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 7:08 am

there are two ways.


tell him ur lez.


the second is from EuroTrip.

YOU "I just cant take the lies and cheating any more"
HIM " But im not cheating on your or lying to you"

YOU " I know your not its me"

done.
 
malb777
Posts: 443
Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2004 5:53 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 10:30 am

4 Options .
1/ Did I tell you I prefer women and introduce your local aunty fred the butchest dyke in town

2/ Look at this porno honey and see if you recognise any body( film yourself screwing his best mate)

3/ Have a dildo on the table and tell him " it satisfies me more than you do"

4/ Just dump him
thank god i was not born a bird. this type of flying is much better
 
QANTAS077
Posts: 5197
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 5:08 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 10:40 am

simple solution.
be honest and upfront, just tell her it's over.
 
L-188
Posts: 29881
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 11:40 am

Paul Simon said it best in "50 ways to leave your lover":

No I have that episode of the Muppet Show on DVD.

It was 50 ways to love your lever.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
LHMark
Posts: 7048
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2000 2:18 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 11:44 am

Just don't let your own ego make it more difficult for you. A lot of people think that their significant others will be absolutely devastated if they pull the breakup trigger. It'll hurt, but unless he's unbalanced, he'll bounce back just fine. Chances re he'll be dating again in a few weeks.
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
vaporlock
Posts: 3528
Joined: Sat May 19, 2001 9:22 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:54 pm

Alcregular, all I can say is be honest and tell him the truth. If he cares about you the way you say he does....then it will hurt no matter how you put it.

And as far as the friendship thing, I agree with what L-188 said....the friendship thing is b/s line.

Phyllis  Wink/being sarcastic

 
alcregular
Topic Author
Posts: 2139
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:53 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 11:51 pm

Thanks guys for some of your help, I'll be back on the single shelf by the weekend me thinks.  Sad
Why drive when you can fly?
 
aerobalance
Posts: 4313
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2000 8:35 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Wed Oct 06, 2004 11:59 pm

Just tell him it's over. If he asks why, then tell him the truth, without to much detail. A real guy appreciates the truth.

Stop talking if he starts asking too many questions, no need for that.
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
bill142
Posts: 7867
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:50 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Thu Oct 07, 2004 12:03 pm

tell him you prefer the company of the same sex.. and if your already swinging that way, tell him you prefer the company of the opposite sex..

"sorry darling, you turned me hetrosexual"
 
ZKSUJ
Posts: 6884
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 5:15 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Thu Oct 07, 2004 5:25 pm

If you want to be sensitive and not do it to their face, write a them a personal letter
 
SlamClick
Posts: 9576
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2003 7:09 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:52 pm

Some guys learn to weather a lot of rejection.

I think the restraining order sort of did it for me.
Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
 
andersjt
Posts: 367
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 3:50 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 12:00 am

If you're sure this is not going to work out, once you do tell him, stick to your position. Don't get caught in the trap of promises that he will change to please you, it will only make things harder when you have to try and end it again.

I'm facing ending a 15-year relationship right now. Its obvious he is not going to grow up, and through therapy, I realize I do not want to take care of him for the rest of my life, nor am I obligated to. We separated once, I did it with a letter, which was the worst thing I could have done. We reconciled with promises of change, yet the old patterns have emerged, and the prospect of having to end this mess again is tearing me up.

Oh how I long for the day when the skies were truly Friendly!
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15079
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 12:08 am

Leave all his stuff in a bin liner on the driveway, and change the locks. Subtle I know, but he'll get the message.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
gkirk
Posts: 23421
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2000 3:29 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:02 am

You could always do what JGPH1A did to his boyfriend....kill him!

 Laugh out loud
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
EGGD
Posts: 11884
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2001 12:01 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:18 am

3 simple words:

I. am. gay.
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15079
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:21 am

Re: You could always do what JGPH1A did to his boyfriend....kill him!

Well, eventually - but he enjoyed EVERY minute ! Jealous are we, Kirkie ?  Wink/being sarcastic

@EGGD. Er - yes. Since the original poster is talking about his boyfriend, I think that's a given.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
alcregular
Topic Author
Posts: 2139
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:53 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:28 am

If you read it properly, Im not gay.
Why drive when you can fly?
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15079
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:30 am

Oh dear - I am SOOOO sorry. I thought you were a bloke. My humblest and most profound apologies.

grovels pathetically
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
alcregular
Topic Author
Posts: 2139
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:53 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:42 am

Thanks for that JGPH1A, just makes me feel sooooo much better than I already do. Good job I don't get offended too easily.  Big grin
Why drive when you can fly?
 
LH423
Posts: 5924
Joined: Sun Jul 11, 1999 6:27 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:42 am

JGPH1A: I believe you'll find, upon closer inspection, that the original poster (Alcregular) is, in fact, a SHE, and hence the excuse of homosexuality could remain valid. HOWEVER, I would strongly advise Alcregular against this route as ending things on lies and deceit would only make things worse if the truth were ever to be revealed. Granted, you'll have made your break so that might not concern you, but I think for the sake of your conscience, just be honest and open about this. In matters of the heart honesty if the only way to go.

LH423
« On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux » Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
 
gkirk
Posts: 23421
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2000 3:29 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:45 am

Yet again JGPH1A makes an arse of himself on these forums  Laugh out loud
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15079
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:46 am

Alc - as the female in the relationship, you automatically have the upper hand. That's just basic anthropology. Explain to him kindly but firmly that it's not you, it's him, that it's over, ciao babe, you'd like to say it's been fun, but well, it hasn't, he's a crap shag and has the personality of lowfat yoghurt.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
dreamer
Posts: 371
Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2004 9:18 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:51 am

I guess this is like the cat question earlier, all us females are obligated to help out.
Anyways, be honest, respectful, clear, firm and stick to it, do not try to be extra friendly or slipp into a supporting friend/almost grilfriend situation. That way you give false hope, and drag the process and pain out for him.
There is no point being hurtful or tell him everything you think is wrong with him either.

Sometimes they know it is coming, just get it over with.
still dreaming after all these years
 
AC320
Posts: 2809
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 11:29 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 2:23 am

I think this a good way to tell them:

-----------------------------------------

Dear Sir,
Your Relationship with topic "Alcregular and you"
has been removed from the list of active relationships.
The reason is as follows:

IT'S OVER
Sorry bub but you missed the boat. Time to cut your losses and move on. Consider going to a couple bars or even clubs and find someone fun and/or easy.


Please consider this to be a fair and friendly notice. In order for a relationship to function in a way that benefits all its members, there have to be rules, both explicit and implicit. Kindly stay within the rules in the future.

The rules of the relationship (which you have agreed to follow):
https://www.airliners.net/discussions/rules.main?confirm=no

Sincerely,
AC320
Forum Moderator
Airliners.net

A copy of the removed/archived/moved relationship is included below:
fuddle duddle
 
nzblue
Posts: 564
Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 12:44 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 4:22 am

In the words of Homer Simpson on what to say to break up with someone of the opposite sex: "I'm not gay, but I'll learn."

NZblue
It's an entirely different kind of flying; all together.
 
Cactus739
Posts: 2256
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2004 6:41 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 11:02 am

About a month ago I ended a relationship. We had been together for almost two years, had lived together for almost a year. We had two adorable kittens together (well, adopted them anyway). I wasn't happy, and with our lease ont he apartment ending at the end of September, it was time.

I sat him down one morning. Told him it was over. When he asked why, I was very honest. I told him exactly why it was happening and what I had tried to do to correct things. He took it well, just stared at the table. I on the other hand was a pathetic mess of tears (hey, I'll be honest about being a crying man). And, we are still friends. He even helped me move and paint my new bedroom last weekend.

So like others have said... just be honest. Don't get mad, don't shout, don't get violent... just be calm, organized and honest. Good luck.
You can't fix stupid.... - Ron White
 
CMK10
Posts: 1826
Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2004 10:56 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 11:37 am

Dear Honey,

Welcome to Splitsville, UK.
Population: You

Love,
Me
"Traveling light is the only way to fly" - Eric Clapton
 
User avatar
ClassicLover
Posts: 5008
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 12:27 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:10 pm

hahaha...

Honesty works the best.

The last person I dumped got -

"When I see you, it feels more like we're friends moreso than boyfriends... so I think it's just silly for us to keep being together as boyfriends when it's not."

Which was quite true.  Smile

Trent.
I do enjoy a spot of flying, especially when it's not in economy!
 
AWspicious
Posts: 2780
Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2001 7:47 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 2:08 pm

ALCregular;
If you've been feeling this way for any lenght of time, believe me, he's already aware something's wrong. We guys have a sixth sense when it comes to these things. He's probably already expecting the worst... So, no sense in putting both yourselves through further torture. Just end it and set both yourselves free.
There's nothing more frustrating for someone than to be involved and have feelings that are way stronger that the other person's. During the relationship, you expected honesty from him. Now, it's your turn to reciprocate and be honest with him. It's far better for you to be straight-up about this.
I'm assuming you've probably been exibiting signs such as short temper; easily annoyed; no longer amused; unable (reluctant) to meet him, etc.? Therefore, he's probably waiting for you to end the relationship, but really hoping you won't. Don't be surprised if he isn't (...surprised, that is).
Nevermind political correctness - Envision using your turn signals!
 
saxdiva
Posts: 2331
Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:51 pm

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 2:38 pm

How to tell someone it's over?

"Honey, I've decided to take up the accordion."

That usually does the trick.

See terms for details....
 
alcregular
Topic Author
Posts: 2139
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:53 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Fri Oct 08, 2004 10:38 pm

I told him to back off last night, I just feel as is he is smothering me and I cant breathe because of him. He took it ok, he just wished I 'd told him sooner, even though he has only been like this for about two weeks. I've been ill for a couple of weeks, and he just fusses all the time and won't leave me alone. He loves me more than I love him. But i think this relationship has run it course, so will end it by the end of next week at the latest, I think. I'll see how it goes over the next week. Thanks for all your help guys, i really appreciate this.

Sharron
Why drive when you can fly?
 
alcregular
Topic Author
Posts: 2139
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:53 am

RE: How To Tell Someone It's Over.

Sun Oct 10, 2004 11:52 pm

Well guys, thanks for all your help, Im now officially back on the single shelf. I told him the truth, that we just don't seem to be getting along and I don't think it will work out. He was a bit teary but was fine.
Why drive when you can fly?

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