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LHMark
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Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:00 am

I know it's a day early, but I'm bored.

Have you ever taken Route 81 from the NYS Thruway, throught the Delaware Water Gap, to New York City? Imagine driving all day, having to take the worst piss of your life. I mean, your bladder is stretching and little squirts keep going into your tidy whities. The agony of holding it is like a cake fork piercing your urethra. All you can think of is getting of at the next exit to open the firehose.

Just when you think you're gonna let go, an oasis of city lights rising from the blackness of the Pocono foothills... your salvation is nigh. Then you seem the sign. "Scranton, next exit."

And you keep driving and hold it in a little longer.

Scranton-Wilkes Barre, you see, is a grimy little fire hazard of a city laid out in a long, narrow valley. It's home to such attractions as "The Anthracite Museum," and "Girls, exit 12A, 15mi." There used to be maineline air service to SWB, until the airlines wised up.


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Photo © Yasir Raja


The busy tarmac at Scranton-Wilkes Barre International Airport, soon to be served by Emirates

Now, there's nothing to do in that coal-less coal-mining town but watch the AAA farmclub of the Philadelphia Phillies (who, for christ's sake dont ask me why, play in a replica of now-demolished Veteran's Stadium, the most hated park in the game).

http://www.minorleagueballparks.com/Lackaw98.jpg
The beautiful and classic home of the SWB Red Barons

Other than the ball game, there's, um, let's see, the Scranton Philharmonic Orchestra, which just learned The Chicken Dance, so it's interactive fun. They just colored in the main exhibit at the Art Museum, and the city is regularly visited by such musical greats as Vic Damone, Bowser from Sha-Na-Na, and Roxette. Other than these activities, there's little to do in scranton but go bobbing for french fries at the nearest Long John Silver's.

Had Dante known about Scranton, he would have included it in his book. Unfortunately, even Hell has limits to its residents' suffering.

Scranton-Wilkes Barre Pennsylvania. Feel free to pile on!

[Edited 2005-12-06 20:03:55]

[Edited 2005-12-06 20:09:21]
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
NIKV69
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:04 am

I have driven many miles through PA. 76 going and 80 coming the entire length of the state. I have to say there is not much to it. Ohio and PA both are BORING! I mean how bad is it when you are actually glad to see New Jersey!  crazy 
90 Day Fiancé has taught me that Russian woman are excellent.
 
BCAInfoSys
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:07 am

 rotfl  Scranton itself really is a craphole. In the summer of 2001 I worked at a summer camp up near the PA/NY line and flew in/out of AVP. Back then they even flew a mainline US 733 in there. On the way back out it was an old Dash-8. That has to be the worst airport I've ever been to. It's right up there with ELP (before the remodel) in my eyes; it's just that bad.

That whole part of the state has no industry, no real traffic, and no appeal. If it wasn't for the summer camps, that whole place would be even more dependant on welfare then they already are. Though I have to say, I had some good nights in some shitty bars in Hancock, NY. The Towne House was pretty much a camp gathering. I have no idea what those parts of PA/NY do in the non-camp season.

http://www.lohikan.com
Militant Agnostic - I don't know and you don't either.
 
aerobalance
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:20 am

Never heard of the place...
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
USAFHummer
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:26 am

I move that the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania immediately hand over the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area to the state of New Jersey, to become a New Jersey enclave...it definitely would be a better fit there!

Greg
Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
 
ScarletHarlot
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:33 am

Oh man. My first business trip in the States was to Scranton. Or actually Moosic, which is between the two. We nicknamed it Scrotum. Yes, at that time we flew in on a US 737.

Memories of Scranton:

The Ramada Inn just off the freeway that looks exactly like a jail.

A strip mall near Montage Mountain with two stores next to each other: Montage Tobacco and Montage Dental.

A really weird dude working the US check-in counter (although, I was upgraded to first class for one trip AVP-PIT-SEA, which was really nice).

The building where we were working looked right at Montage "Mountain". That's a mountain?

Dining out at Scranton's finest establishments. I remember a pizza joint in the mall. On a positive note, we had a really good meal at the hotel / train station and an excellent meal at a dive Mexican restaurant. When we went to the Mexican restaurant I asked if we could sit in nonsmoking. There was no nonsmoking section, but the waitress said that she would sit us near people she knew didn't smoke - which she did. I guess the clientele is pretty consistent!

One of my coworkers was telling me that he went to school in Pennsylvania. The only place in PA I really knew of was Scranton so I said "Don't tell me you went to school in Scranton!" and he did! Still not sure why!
But that was when I ruled the world
 
redngold
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:34 am

Two cities that are such poor excuses that they have to band together to get any respect.  Wink

However, Scranton gets kudos for hosting the western end of the eastern I-84, which makes a good diversion around traffic jams on I-80 when leaving downstate New York for parts west.
Up, up and away!
 
Go3Team
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:42 am

That place certainly does suck. Seems like everytime I travel thru there, there is always construction going on causing large amounts of traffic. Whoever designed the surface streets there should also get a foot to the face.
Yay Pudding!
 
desertjets
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:11 am

Wilkes-Barre/Scraton is my usual stop when driving from Sorrycuse to DC. Seems fitting that the only thing I do in that down is take a piss and a crap; and chow down on bad fast food.

Definately a whole of a town. And for some bizzare reason they drop the speedlimit on I-81 to 55 for 35 miles all the way through the Wyoming valley.
Stop drop and roll will not save you in hell. --- seen on a church marque in rural Virginia
 
jumpseatflyer
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:36 am

Quoting DesertJets (Reply 8):
Definately a whole of a town. And for some bizzare reason they drop the speedlimit on I-81 to 55 for 35 miles all the way through the Wyoming valley.

Take 476 through those 35 miles. No other cars, no speed traps, but no exits either, so make sure you have gas.

Quoting DesertJets (Reply 8):
Sorrycuse



Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 5):
Moosic



Quoting BCAInfoSys (Reply 2):
Hancock, NY



Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
Pocono

With all these winners of places, I'm just waiting for BUFFALO to come up.

And don't forget Jim Thorpe. What the hell is Jim Thorpe? Jim Thorpe wasn't even from Jim Thorpe.
 
Newark777
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre P

Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:46 am

My cousin goes to Kings College in Wilkes Barre, and has an apartment in a shitty area off campus. After parties there, they pay homeless guys to clean up all the bottles and garbage. I walked downstairs in the morning, and walked into the backyard, and myself and the hobo gave each other odd glances, because I had no idea what the hell he was doing, and I was covered in Sharpie. Fun weekend. Crappy city.

Anyway, PA is Philly and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between.

Harry
Why grab a Heine when you can grab a Busch?
 
srbmod
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 6:12 am

You can't forget about the AHL WBS Pens, who are doing better than their parent club in Pittsburgh (perhaps Pittsburgh can be Vol. 4?). The WBS Pens have yet to have a regulation loss (they've had 2 OTLs and 1 SOL) for a 20-0-2-1 record. That's about the only redeeming thing in that area.....
 
KROC
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:39 am

Quoting Redngold (Reply 6):
Two cities that are such poor excuses that they have to band together to get any respect.

At least Scranton-Wilkes Barre haven't set a major body of water on fire. That being said, it still sucks. What better place to give the people of Binghamton hope!
 
UALPHLCS
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 9:41 am

Is it any wonder why it was chossen as the setting for the American version of The Office?!

For those of you in Britain: Slough = Scranton.

Chilie's is considered a fine dining experience in Scanton.

Scranton is so bad people from Allentown look down on them.
A little less Hooah, and a little more Dooah.
 
FlyingTexan
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:00 am

I’ve been there many times, most recently in early October. I arrived late, dead tired. Was checking into this absolute piece of shit Days Inn by the VA. I asked the desk manager where a good place to grab a beer is. His reply ~ there is no beer. It was just after midnight. I inquired about the nearby convenience store. I gathered from him there are no beer sales (cash and carry) in PA on Sundays (which is bullshit).
"Wouldn't your boss like to fly home nonstop at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon?" -Airline Exec to Congressional Staffer
 
ltbewr
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:54 am

For many years when I was a kid, I remember riding through the Scranton area on I-81 (and US-11/611 before I-81 to the mid-1960's). I remember the huge coal waste piles, the stark scent of burning coal and wastes. The old roads were windey, often hit really bad fog, traffic and construction. I haven't been on that area in over 8 years when I went to do some work in Binghamton, NY (also a dying town).
 
Newark777
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 11:15 am

Quoting UALPHLCS (Reply 13):

Scranton is so bad people from Allentown look down on them.

To be more blunt, people from South Bethlehem look down on them.  Wink

Harry
Why grab a Heine when you can grab a Busch?
 
777DadandJr
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 11:28 am

Quoting FlyingTexan (Reply 14):
I gathered from him there are no beer sales (cash and carry) in PA on Sundays (which is bullshit).

Texan, you are correct.
In Pennsylvania, beer is only sold by the case in "beer stores." None are open on Sundays. Wine and Spirits are only sold in "State" liquor stores. None are open on Sunday. If you want a six pack to go, you must go to a bar or tavern and buy it. No beer is sold in convinience stores or grocery stores in Pa.
It does suck, indeed. They are testing wine sales in grocery stores in selected areas right now though. There is hope for us!

Russ
My glass is neither 1/2 empty nor 1/2 full, rather, the glass itself is twice as big as it should be.
 
USAIRWAYS321
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Wed Dec 07, 2005 11:31 am

Hmm, sounds like the eastern version of Lewiston, ID/Clarkston, WA, minus the constant smell.
 
BigOrange
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Thu Dec 08, 2005 12:35 am

I went there last year to see the Nascar Air Force which was in town.

There were no signs for the airport anywhere on the major highways. I eventually got into some small suburb (Forty Fort?) and saw a sign for an airport. Got there and it was some small tin field with a C-130 with chopped wings being used for something.

Asked some old guy the way to AVP and he told me to go back the way I came and take 80 north and I would find it. Now even I know 80 runs E-W so I figured he meant 81 north, which was correct!

I think Nascar weekends are the busiest time of the year at the airport, and landing fees from these weekends actually subsidize the airport for the next 6 months!
 
stlgph
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Thu Dec 08, 2005 4:02 am

Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
and the city is regularly visited by such musical greats as Vic Damone, Bowser from Sha-Na-Na, and Roxette.

Cher visited town on May 31, 2003 and stopped at the First Union Civic Center.
My friend working the tour said the entire town went nuts with the arrival of the show. People were camped outside the arena trying to get a look at Cher. The concert itself had sold out within minutes of going on sale.
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
USAFHummer
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:28 am

Quoting USAIRWAYS321 (Reply 18):
Hmm, sounds like the eastern version of Lewiston, ID/Clarkston, WA, minus the constant smell.

Ive been there, and both those places are way better than Scranton...
Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
 
srbmod
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RE: Pile On A City, Vol.3: Scranton-Wilkes Barre PA

Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:28 am

Quoting 777DadandJr (Reply 17):
In Pennsylvania, beer is only sold by the case in "beer stores." None are open on Sundays. Wine and Spirits are only sold in "State" liquor stores. None are open on Sunday. If you want a six pack to go, you must go to a bar or tavern and buy it. No beer is sold in convinience stores or grocery stores in Pa.
It does suck, indeed. They are testing wine sales in grocery stores in selected areas right now though. There is hope for us!

I will never again think that the alcohol laws in Georgia suck. Compared to PA, Georgia seems like Louisiana in terms of alcohol laws.

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