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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:48 pm

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 136):
It's probably very simple to get a UK passport these days.

"Wonderful, it's the last place they'll look..."

Signed
 
ME AVN FAN
Posts: 12970
Joined: Fri May 31, 2002 12:05 am

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:56 pm

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 149):
You assume that I read The Sun?

Who knows ? or maybe "News of the World" ?
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:59 pm

Quoting [email protected] (Reply 143):
Don't mention the war!

Don't mention "Don't mention the war"!!

Engerlaenders never understood that joke, even John Cleese had to admit it, and a Scot very likely doesn't even know what a joke IS!  Wink

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 149):
You assume that I read The Sun?

Scots can't read or if they can they are too drunk to do so...so no, we don't expect you to READ the Sun, but you certainly do look at the pics and try to figure out what people find attractive in girls that walk on TWO legs and have virtually no fur!  Wink Big grin

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 146):
for getting the Germans away from the old, boring style of football they used to play

Indeed we thought that it is time to use a new strategy to shock the football world after 2002 went so well (and we rightfully assumed that the Englanders of all idiots in the world will do anything to copy that strategy).

So we

a. invented our new style of playing...the best since 1990 actually!

and

b. gave you the great host and a 4,5 week permanent party!

Excellent strategy, works great so far!!!
 
Scotty
Posts: 1846
Joined: Thu Dec 23, 1999 10:51 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Mon Jul 03, 2006 6:53 pm

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 56):
Carlisle folk are usually the best of the English...the rest of you lot must be scum

Kirkie - I thought you were doing well and being very restrained up until that point

Quoting VHVXB (Reply 70):
When will it be England's time win the cup or will the ever win it again

Why do they think they will win it every time it's taking place? Can't they just chill out and take it one game at a time?

Quoting Cxsjr (Reply 75):
Scotland haven't even won it once

Aye but we DID beat the winning team on their home patch less than a year later. And at least WE HAVE won some silverware this year. Oh didn't you know? Thats probably because the so called "BBC" failed totally to cover it at UK level. Credit to "BBC" Scotland - they did cover it and well done to them.

And we have qualified for the Under 19 Euro2006 tournament which takes place in Poland in a few weeks time. England arent - so I dont expect it'll even get a squidly of a mention on the so-called "BBC"
 
Banco
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 4:06 am

Incidentally, we English do now have something to be proud about, as there is one area where we are head and shoulders above any other football nation in the world. It's true. No-one can match our record:

We are now officially (well, unless Italy have another nightmare in the semi-final and equal us) the worst team in the world at penalty shootouts, having partaken in six, and only managed to fluke a win in one - whilst raising the bar in this area to truly epic proportions by going out on penalties in no fewer than five of our last seven tournaments. Our brave boys efforts at the weekend have propelled us ahead of the Dutch and Italians, who can only stand aghast at our infinitely more complete record. Read it and weep, you Germans. Here's something that you'll never be able to take away from us...  Wink

It's a good job that the penalty-shootout is such a lottery isn't it? Otherwise anyone would think that Germany's continued success and our abject failure might have more about it than mere chance...  banghead 
 
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scbriml
Posts: 20210
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 4:57 am

Quoting AirbusA346 (Reply 128):
Why the heck has Beckham resigned as England captain for?

Oh please! It was a case of jump or be pushed. The only question I have is did he manage to think it all up himself or did someone have to draw him pictures? scratchchin 
 
Scotty
Posts: 1846
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 7:42 am

Quoting Scbriml (Reply 155):
did someone have to draw him pictures?

No Erikson anyway - he'd draw the same picture as the dismal Berti Vogts.
 
gkirk
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 7:44 am

Quoting Scotty (Reply 153):
Kirkie - I thought you were doing well and being very restrained up until that point

Indeed, but after what I seen in Carlisle, I'll change my mind.
A group of England fans (about 50 of them), attacking a Police Van and attacking the Police Officers as well. Took 5 mins before any other cops showed up to help them out.
It was at that point, I decided to leave England  Wink
 
TuRbUleNc3
Posts: 462
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 7:46 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 133):
Or join UKIP. Whatever.

BNP supporter actually, each to their own.

Quoting N229NW (Reply 134):

Superior to those illegal immigrants who have a british passport and they arent even from this country, yeah.

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 136):
Problem is though Michelin Man, he's very true. It's probably very simple to get a UK passport these days.

Cheers kirky!
 
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n229nw
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 2:21 pm

I don't know what to believe. The Sun has Rooney aparently threatening to split Ronaldo in two; the Mirror has it that he was so enraged after the game he planned to go start a brawl with Portugal...yet official statements from both players say that they talked (well by SMS) after the game and bear no ill will blah blah.

Frankly, I don't know what is LESS credible, The Sun or an "official statement" from a player whose case is about to be reviewed by a FIFA disciplinary committee...or from another player who winked after the send-off and seems to say different things about the incident to different people. Well, it is a toss up.

___________________________

Quoting TuRbUleNc3 (Reply 158):
BNP supporter actually, each to their own.



Quoting TuRbUleNc3 (Reply 158):
Superior to those illegal immigrants who have a british passport and they arent even from this country, yeah.



Wow...Yeah, you kind of have to be gullible/stupid/angry/delusional enough to vote BNP if you believe that "illegal" immigrants can get a British passport!!!!! All immigrants are inherently "illegal" in BNP reasoning, huh?

[Edited 2006-07-04 07:46:52]
 
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nighthawk
Posts: 4890
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 4:32 pm

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 157):
Indeed, but after what I seen in Carlisle, I'll change my mind.
A group of England fans (about 50 of them), attacking a Police Van and attacking the Police Officers as well. Took 5 mins before any other cops showed up to help them out.
It was at that point, I decided to leave England

Have you only just realised this...? Carlisle is one of the worst places in england, they are all a bunch of chavs, with really annoying accents. Plus a lot of them hate the scots, the fools!
 
ME AVN FAN
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 6:43 pm

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 157):
at that point, I decided to leave England

and to go to ............. France ?
 
Andreas
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Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 7:31 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 154):
Read it and weep, you Germans. Here's something that you'll never be able to take away from us...

Ok, we hereby declare England the undefeated, the brilliant, the unforgiving, the....whatever CHAMPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON of the shitty shootout performances!! (Try to imagine having Paul Bettany say that during the opening party of the new Wembley Stadium....and afterwards, a 90-minute penalty shootout England-Germany, the farer off the ball goes, the more points.....it'll be a brilliant 2,000 - 0 win for England!!)

Germany stands defeated!! JAWOLL!

Quoting Banco (Reply 154):
Otherwise anyone would think that Germany's continued success and our abject failure might have more about it than mere chance

Actually we do not want to elaborate on that... it might disillusion you big time  Wink Big grin
 
Banco
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 8:35 pm

Oh dear, Andreas. And here was me thinking it was Americans who couldn't grasp irony...  Wink
 
Andreas
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 9:10 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 163):
And here was me thinking it was Americans who couldn't grasp irony...

Well I can assure you, based on countless occasions especially here on this Forum, that you have the same problem with those Brits.....  Wink  duck 
 
ME AVN FAN
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 9:37 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 163):
me thinking it was Americans who couldn't grasp irony...

British humour is NOT universally liked ! You can find this kind of "misunderstanding" worldwide. To translate jokes from one language to the other therefore often is difficult. A joke causing people to laugh into the night in one country will just result in raised eyebrows in the next country.
 
Banco
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 9:43 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 164):
that you have the same problem with those Brits.....

Nonsense. We invented it, I'll have you know.  snooty 
 
Andreas
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 9:54 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 166):
Nonsense. We invented it,

Allegedly you invented modern football, too (penalties, most of all.....)...and look where it got you!  

But take a look at this:

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 165):
British humour is NOT universally liked ! You can find this kind of "misunderstanding" worldwide. To translate jokes from one language to the other therefore often is difficult. A joke causing people to laugh into the night in one country will just result in raised eyebrows in the next country.

I guess we can agree that the Swiss are close to the Americans here!

[Edited 2006-07-04 15:12:45]
 
Klaus
Posts: 21638
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:02 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 166):
Nonsense. We invented it, I'll have you know.

Yep, you are indeed a joke!  crazy 
 
Klaus
Posts: 21638
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2001 7:41 am

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:05 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 167):
Allegedly you invented modern football, too (penalties, too.....)...and look where it got you!

I guess in this particular case, it actually was appropriate and even necessary to rub it in...!  mischievous  Big grin
 
ME AVN FAN
Posts: 12970
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:15 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 167):
can agree that the Swiss are close to the Americans here!

yes we can. British humour in Switzerland is DISliked by many people.
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:17 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 167):
Allegedly you invented modern football, too (penalties, most of all.....)...and look where it got you!

I've got a funny feeling the Scots invented penalties. The bastards.  grumpy 

Quoting Andreas (Reply 167):
I guess we can agree that the Swiss are close to the Americans here!

Oh no. I think the Swiss are in a league of their own.  Wink
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
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RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:17 pm

Quoting Klaus (Reply 169):
it actually was appropriate and even necessary to rub it in...!

Ah, don't be so hard on them. I've seen thousands of Engerlaenders, grown up hoolig...erm...men crying helplessly in the streets of Gelsenkirchen and neighbouring Bochum Saturday night, not a pretty sight, I can tell you!!

Give them a week or so to recover before we start kicking their asses again! Big grin
 
JamieD
Posts: 597
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2002 8:38 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:21 pm

Quoting Leigh pilgrim (Reply 108):
Why did Ashley Cole not take a penalty?

Because he's left-footed.  Silly

Quoting Leigh pilgrim (Reply 108):
Why we moaning at Ericsson?, after all hes on 4 mill a year and hes leaving, HE DOES NOT GIVE A SH*T

That's exactly why we're moaning at him.
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:22 pm

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 170):
yes we can. British humour in Switzerland is DISliked by many people.

Yes, the Swiss are truly renowned for their appreciation of humour. Think Germans without the wit. Oh dear...
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:26 pm

apparently theres some football match on tonight. No idea who's in it mind you. Hasn't everyone stopped playing for the summer ?  Wink

Too much football on as it is if you ask me..........
 
ME AVN FAN
Posts: 12970
Joined: Fri May 31, 2002 12:05 am

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:29 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 174):
the Swiss are truly renowned for their appreciation of humour.

it just is a different kind of humour, as explained above.
And "Germans with wit" ?? You mean "Schadenfreude" ?

 duck   wink 
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:30 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 175):
Hasn't everyone stopped playing for the summer ?

I think the England team stopped around May. Don't know about anyone else...
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:34 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 174):
Think Germans without the wit.

Or Engerlaenders trying to talk funny....there are even more similarities between England and Switzerland, you know: How to make a complete fool out of yourself during a penalty shootout!  duck 
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:35 pm

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 176):
it just is a different kind of humour, as explained above.

Ah. The kind that involves a serious analysis in the middle of a piss-taking competition?

I see. What fun and japes you must have in the mountains....
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:39 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 178):
there are even more similarities between England and Switzerland, you know: How to make a complete fool out of yourself during a penalty shootout!

Thats totally out of order Andreas. England didn't miss all their penalties.

Our German-based Canadian scored  Wink
 
Klaus
Posts: 21638
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2001 7:41 am

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:39 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 174):
Think Germans without the wit. Oh dear...

"Oh dear" indeed... that admission will come back to haunt you in due time...!  mischievous 
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:41 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 178):
Or Engerlaenders trying to talk funny

How would you know, you Teutonic automaton? Do they still run those humour classes over there? Actually, if they do I've an idea for them: Just show successive England penalty shoot-outs. That'd have you all in stitches for months.  grumpy   Wink
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:45 pm

Quoting Klaus (Reply 181):
Quoting Banco (Reply 174):
Think Germans without the wit. Oh dear...

"Oh dear" indeed... that admission will come back to haunt you in due time...!

I rest my case, m'lud.  Yeah sure

Andreas, help the old boy out will you? I think he's out of his depth here.... Big grin
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:48 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 180):
Our German-based Canadian scored

Indeed, and THAT should give you something to think about Big grin

Quoting Banco (Reply 182):
That'd have you all in stitches for months.

I have a strong suspicion that from now on the saying will be:
Don't mention the penalty shootout!
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:51 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 184):
Don't mention the penalty shootout!

Indeed so, to which the answer is the customary "Which one?"  Wink
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:54 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 185):
Indeed so, to which the answer is the customary "Which one?"

The same answer the Germans could give to the original line we taunt them with......  duck 
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:57 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 186):
The same answer the Germans could give to the original line we taunt them with......

Yes. Precisely. Keep up old boy...  Yeah sure  Wink
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:58 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 185):
Indeed so, to which the answer is the customary "Which one?"



Quoting Cornish (Reply 186):
The same answer the Germans could give to the original line we taunt them with......

That's not quite true, gentlemen! There are THREE shootouts that come to mind...... Big grin
 
ME AVN FAN
Posts: 12970
Joined: Fri May 31, 2002 12:05 am

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:59 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 179):
you must have in the mountains....

sheer envy ! of people who regard some hills as mountains !

Quoting Banco (Reply 182):
show successive England penalty shoot-outs

sounds as if you have a kind of obsession with this.

Quoting Banco (Reply 179):
piss-taking

Who was "piss-taking" above ?
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 187):
Yes. Precisely. Keep up old boy...



Quoting Andreas (Reply 188):
That's not quite true, gentlemen! There are THREE shootouts that come to mind......

You see Banco - your dig was too subtle so I had to try and make it more obvious for our continental colleagues......Even then I'm not sure....  Wink
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:03 pm

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 189):
Who was "piss-taking" above ?

Piss-taking ? Swiss trying to speak German is taking the piss - what exactly are you saying ? It certainly isn't German as I recognise it  Wink
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:05 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 188):
There are THREE shootouts that come to mind......

Heaven's above man, we've moved way beyond our disastrous penalty shoot-outs with the Germans. Now we  banghead  about our penalty shootouts against the Argentinians and the Portuguese. You Germans, you're just fixated with the past and refuse to recognise that England is a very different country to those dark days of 1990 and 1996.  Wink

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 189):
of people who regard some hills as mountains !

Well, they're mostly in Scotland, so we tend to think of them as "There be dragons"...

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 189):
sounds as if you have a kind of obsession with this.

No, not at all. 5 penalty defeats in the last seven tournaments hasn't remotely affected my WAH-WAH  hissyfit  equilibrium in the NUUUUUURRRRSE!!! slightest (dribble). I'm fully in control of my  cry  faculties and face the world with a smile.  banghead 
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:13 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 192):
England is a very different country to those dark days of 1990 and 1996

It is? Where's the difference? You still get kicked out on a regular basis and make the world helplessly watch grown-ups bawl on the grass (vomit in the case of Becky).

Quoting Banco (Reply 192):
No, not at all. 5 penalty defeats in the last seven tournaments hasn't remotely affected my WAH-WAH equilibrium in the NUUUUUURRRRSE!!! slightest (dribble). I'm fully in control of my faculties and face the world with a smile.

See, ME AVN FAN: Only 4 more to go and you'll end up like this!! Isn't that sad...?  duck 
 
Klaus
Posts: 21638
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2001 7:41 am

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:18 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 192):
No, not at all. 5 penalty defeats in the last seven tournaments hasn't remotely affected my WAH-WAH     equilibrium in the NUUUUUURRRRSE!!! slightest (dribble). I'm fully in control of my     faculties and face the world with a smile.

There, there... if it helps, we might let you touch the trophy - no, scratch that; That would probably send you over the edge for good - maybe we might let you smell the bag the trophy came in...!  devil 

Would that help...?  innocent 
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:18 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 193):
It is? Where's the difference?

Well, we're starting to get used to it now...
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:18 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 188):
There are THREE shootouts that come to mind......

Ups sorry, but I do have an excuse: These were championships I have deleted from my personal history books for obvious reasons... ashamed  ill  weeping 
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:22 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 195):
Well, we're starting to get used to it now...

You should...by now! Unfortunately there's this:

Quoting Andreas (Reply 193):
grown-ups bawl on the grass (vomit in the case of Becky).

But then, we're starting to get used to THAT, too Big grin
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:24 pm

Quoting Klaus (Reply 194):
There, there... if it helps, we might let you touch the trophy - no, scratch that; That would probably send you over the edge for good - maybe we might let you smell the bag the trophy came in...!

You know, there are times when I really, really dislike you...  grumpy   Wink

Quoting Andreas (Reply 193):
See, ME AVN FAN: Only 4 more to go and you'll end up like this!! Isn't that sad...?

Weren't the Swiss neutral in this World Cup?
 
ME AVN FAN
Posts: 12970
Joined: Fri May 31, 2002 12:05 am

RE: England Out Of World Cup.

Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:25 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 191):
German as I recognise it Wink

trouble is that you apparently do NOT recognize German as it really is ! It is a variety of dialects. I mean, when learning English in London, you are ill-prepared for what is spoken in Texas -- similar. And if in Switzerland, you when talking standard-German will be replied to in Standard German. Btw., do you understand Bavarian ?

Quoting Andreas (Reply 193):
Isn't that sad...?

Exceedingly sad indeed. The happy thing about the outcome CH-Ukraine however was that a match CH-Italy was avoided which would have been a "serious" matter ..... and would have been lost by CH anyway.

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