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goboeing
Topic Author
Posts: 2583
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Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:11 pm

I am asking a female-advice post on airliners.net; I admit I am insane.

That said...

My mom, during pregnancy class years ago, met a lady sitting next to her and they kept talking to each other until the babies were born. One baby was me, and the other lady's was the girl. We played together when we were little kids up to about age 7, at which point we mostly lost touch because of different school districts. The only thing that remained was Christmas cards between our moms.

Fast forward to halfway through college: the girl sends a message on the computer out of nowhere. From that point on we'd just make occasional chit-chat online, every few months.

Right before I moved across the country for a new job, we finally met in person again, for the first time in fifteen years. I moved to the opposite side of the country the next day and we kept in touch.

Now I am back in the area that we originally resided in. I've seen here three times in the past three weeks. She's busy in medical school and doesn't have time for a lot of extra social stuff on the weekends, but she is the one that suggests we get together. I don't object! Now she has invited me over for dinner, with her parents.

Is she just really friendly? Or is there more. I think I'm just gonna ask her that tomorrow so I can quit wondering.
 
ANITIX87
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:27 pm

Quoting GoBoeing (Thread starter):
I think I'm just gonna ask her that tomorrow so I can quit wondering.

Don't. I tried that with someone this semester, and, long story short, it did not go well. I'm in a hell of a mess with her right now. Play it slowly. Go to meet her parents, and see how it goes. If they seem to like you, and if the night goes well, then you start inviting her out. If she says yes, then your chances go up, but it doesn't mean she's into you as more than a friend. The objective is not to let her know you're interested in more until you're relatively certain she is too. And that'll take time, unless she opens up to you and admits it.

I know I'm not old and wise, yet, but I am speaking from experience.

TIS
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AsstChiefMark
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:28 pm

You won't know until you act like a smart gentleman and accept her offer. I sure as hell would if I were you!

Mark
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
bill142
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:31 pm

Goto dinner and take "we're friends approach" if all goes well suggest to her in a day or two that we (you) should go out sometime.
 
LOT767-300ER
Posts: 8526
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:35 pm

This is the strangest thing..

I met my current girlfriend when I was 7 years old when I moved to the USA. She translated for me in 1st grade when I didnt know English. Her parents and my parents were pretty good friends also. In 2nd grade when I was 8 years old I moved from Chicago to Wisconsin and completely lost touch with her. Since then I moved back to Chicago in 7th grade and finally im going to school in Florida. It was just this year of college (middle of it just like you) that I found her..coincidentally on facebook by searching her name. Started some chit-chat because me and my friend were heading to Chicago for the weekend and we wanted to party a bit. She goes to Univ. of Illinois in Champaign so when I mentioned that to her she said come down here. So we did, before you know it I flew back to see her 3x in 4 weeks and started dating. Now im in a serious relationship with her and I can definately see myself marrying her (and I hope I do)

So to answer your question I think its definately something more...Take the advice from me, because I may be only 1 out of 5-6 people on here that has a pretty hot girlfriend  Wink

On a serious note, you will find out if its something more pretty quickly. However, I think if she is that busy and she makes time for you than she obviously has interest in you. Remember that every woman will judge you if youre good enough for a relationship and usually if you fail the test your hopes are over
 
jutes85
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:36 pm

Pics?



nothing
 
LOT767-300ER
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:37 pm

Quoting Bill142 (Reply 3):
Goto dinner and take "we're friends approach" if all goes well suggest to her in a day or two that we (you) should go out sometime.

Just a suggestion but I wouldnt do that. You can get stuck in the "we're friends" mode for a long long time if you play it like that. What I would do is play it like you like her. Dont drool at her but give her some signs. If she shoots them down then you know she wants to be just a friend and you will avoid an unpleasant situation
 
LOT767-300ER
Posts: 8526
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2001 12:57 pm

RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:39 pm

Quoting GoBoeing (Thread starter):
but she is the one that suggests we get together. I don't object! Now she has invited me over for dinner, with her parents.



Quoting Jutes85 (Reply 5):
Pics?

Right, make sure she is fit before you take the offer my friend  bigthumbsup 
 
goboeing
Topic Author
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:46 pm

Quoting ANITIX87 (Reply 1):
Play it slowly. Go to meet her parents, and see how it goes.

The thing is, I've met her parents. Both of the last two times after we went out to dinner, we went back to her house and I chatted with the parents a bit too (her dad has a thousand hours in light airplanes up to the size of the twin engine C-421 and we talked airplanes for an hour). Her parents are friendly and if, after already meeting them twice, she is still inviting me over again this time for dinner at their house, then the parents at least cannot hate me.

Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 6):
Just a suggestion but I wouldnt do that. You can get stuck in the "we're friends" mode for a long long time

That's what I don't want. Tomorrow is the last time I will see her for a while as I am going away for seven weeks; she knows that and a few days ago I said will I see you when I get back? And she said, well we can do something later this week again before you go.

For someone who constantly says how busy she is with med. school homework, she seems to be going out of her way recently.
 
goboeing
Topic Author
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:47 pm

Quoting Jutes85 (Reply 5):
Pics?

You wish! Actually her dad took a picture of us but I don't think I am going to post it for the world to see at this time.

She ain't ugly.
 
GQfluffy
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:50 pm

Quoting GoBoeing (Reply 8):
I am going away for seven weeks

Bring her back a snowglobe...
This isn't where I parked my car...
 
LOT767-300ER
Posts: 8526
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2001 12:57 pm

RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:54 pm

Quoting GoBoeing (Reply 9):
She ain't ugly.



Quoting GoBoeing (Reply 8):
That's what I don't want. Tomorrow is the last time I will see her for a while as I am going away for seven weeks; she knows that and a few days ago I said will I see you when I get back? And she said, well we can do something later this week again before you go.

For someone who constantly says how busy she is with med. school homework, she seems to be going out of her way recently.

Yea you want to just approach it like she wants to date you. Especially if she is American and has American values. A Polish girl for example will tell you to stop wasting time if you get too friendly with her for a long duration without doing anything.

I think if she is going out of her way she wants something and probably is testing waters. Make sure you make a good impression on her folks!

[Edited 2007-01-26 06:56:09]
 
BA
Posts: 10516
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:02 pm

Quoting GoBoeing (Thread starter):
My mom, during pregnancy class years ago, met a lady sitting next to her and they kept talking to each other until the babies were born. One baby was me, and the other lady's was the girl. We played together when we were little kids up to about age 7, at which point we mostly lost touch because of different school districts. The only thing that remained was Christmas cards between our moms.

Interesting story. My cousin actually ended up marrying the daughter of his parent's friend that he grew up with for many years during his childhood. He met her again only recently in a mall after many years of not seeing each other.

This doesn't answer your question, but kind of reminds me of a situation I had when I was younger.

My dad has a close friend in Upstate New York and we would regularly visit them on an almost yearly basis to see them and other friends too. His friend has a daughter who I would regularly play with, so we basically grew up together until the visits stopped. The last time I saw her was in 1993 when I was 7 years old too. I think she is a year younger than me.

The friendship between my dad and his friend sort of waned, though they still keep in touch every now and then over the phone. She's supposidly in college now.

The funny thing is my parents and her parents thought we were a cute little couple...in a child like sort of way of course.

I sometimes wonder what she looks like now...
"Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need." - Khalil Gibran
 
S12PPL
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:28 pm

I'd hardly call it "dating". She did invite you over for dinner, though. That is encouraging. See what her body language is. She'll make it obvious if she wants you to make a move. Or, ask her on a date at the end of the night. If she says yes...You're on your way to a relationship maybe. Just don't assume. That's your first mistake. Going to her place thinking that you're dating now is not a good idea. It sets you up for disapointment later.
Next Flights: 12/31 AS804 PDX-MCO 2/3 AS19 MCO-SEA QX2545 SEA-PDX
 
rammstein
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:07 pm

Quoting GQfluffy (Reply 10):
Bring her back a snowglobe...

How is a snowglobe able to track people?

 Silly
He who wishes to be rich in a day will be hanged in a day. --Leonardo Da Vinci
 
bezoar
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:31 pm

It appears that you guys have a great friendship that's survived years apart. That's really special. One doesn't get too many of those in a lifetime. To have one potentially lead to a greater commitment is rare these days, but it appears you may be fortunate to have such a blessing. Don't be guilty of 'paralysis by analysis.'
"There are none so blind as those who will not see."
 
PanAmOldDC8
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:49 pm

Quoting GoBoeing (Thread starter):
Is she just really friendly? Or is there more. I think I'm just gonna ask her that tomorrow so I can quit wondering

Go for it. "Faint heart never wins fair maiden" I met my wife on the 12 of June 1974 and asked her to marry me on the 25th June 1974, got married on the 19th July 1974 and have been married for the last 33 very happy years. So there you go. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained" And have a ball, you are young enjoy the world while you can with a new love
Barbados, CWC soon, can't wait
 
TedTAce
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 10:13 pm

Quoting GoBoeing (Thread starter):
dinner, with her parents



Quoting GoBoeing (Thread starter):
Or is there more

There is more, but you have to be careful.

Quoting ANITIX87 (Reply 1):
Play it slowly. Go to meet her parents, and see how it goes. If they seem to like you, and if the night goes well, then you start inviting her out.

 yes 

Quoting GoBoeing (Reply 8):
And she said, well we can do something later this week again before you go.

That's awesome, means she doesn't want to wait  Wink

Quoting GQfluffy (Reply 10):
Bring her back a snowglobe...

 no  But make sure you do bring something nice back.

Here's the deal: Follow her lead but whatever you do keep her studies as her main focus. Make sure she is well into her residency beffore you expect things to go long term. One of the biggest sore points with my ex-to be is that I messed up her education and I don't blame her for that resentment.
This space intentionally left blank
 
texan
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Fri Jan 26, 2007 10:20 pm

Quoting GoBoeing (Thread starter):
I think I'm just gonna ask her that tomorrow so I can quit wondering.

Bad idea! While talking with the special lady friend, she let it slip that women absolutely hate having guys ask this. It puts added pressure on them and puts them in a place to make a decision they may not want to make at that point.

Play it slow, be yourself, just see where things lead. If they are going somewhere, she'll let you know. If not, you can let her know what you think, just don't ask her what she thinks about it or what she's doing. Never a good idea.

Texan
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
 
pelican
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:36 am

Quoting PanAmOldDC8 (Reply 16):
Go for it. "Faint heart never wins fair maiden" I met my wife on the 12 of June 1974 and asked her to marry me on the 25th June 1974, got married on the 19th July 1974 and have been married for the last 33 very happy years.

 faint  Some people are lucky...

pelican
 
aerobalance
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 2:03 am

Quoting GoBoeing (Thread starter):
but she is the one that suggests we get together.

Considering this statement...and since women only want one thing from us guys...
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Just think of this...
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Don't get mushy over it, if she leads you down the path then one must go...
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

[Edited 2007-01-26 18:05:10]
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
Pyrex
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 4:46 am

Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 4):
However, I think if she is that busy and she makes time for you than she obviously has interest in you.

Unfortunately that is not true. Believe me, I learned it from experience (the hard way).
Read this very carefully, I shall write this only once!
 
brettbrett21
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:21 am

I think if you even need to ask that question, it's more then likely no. Which isn't to say you shouldn't ask her out, but don't assume ANYTHING until she's on top of you! Even then it's risky....
i'm so excited i wish i could wet my pants!
 
GQfluffy
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:50 am

Quoting Brettbrett21 (Reply 22):
but don't assume ANYTHING until she's on top of you! Even then it's risky....

 yes  Because she can up and leave you the very next day. Oh wait...should I actually be admitting that?  guilty 
This isn't where I parked my car...
 
ANother
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 6:08 am

I suggest a slight variation on a theme.

You are going away for seven weeks - so before you go tell her;

"I've been thinking about you a lot over the last days (weeks),

and I've decided that I like you, ... a lot.

I think we should take our relationship to the next step but, I'm not certain if you feel the way I do. I also understand that your studies are important to you and you may not need distractions at the moment.

So, what do you think? Should we give it a try?"

If she doesnt' immediatly jump up and say no, KISS her! (and keep your hands in your pockets).
 
comorin
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 6:34 am

Here's my 2c:

1. Be Cool, be Natural.
2. Don't try to read her mind.
3. Put yourself in her shoes.

What's happening:

1. She likes you.
2. She wants to know if you like her.
3. She is waiting for the moment of 'LOVE'.
4. Emotion has not yet built up sufficiently in this relationship.


What to do:

1. If you like what you see and want something to develop - keep seeing her.
2. Don't try to sweep her off her feet unless you are ready and really want to.
3. If you continue to get mixed messages, a Kiss will settle matters once and for all.


Don't overthink this. Be cool, hang loose and things will come to you.
 
767Lover
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:56 pm

Be sure to call her while you are away for those 7 weeks.

(CALL -- not just email.)
 
jutes85
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:59 pm

Step 1: Cut a hole in a box.
nothing
 
Pyrex
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 1:43 am

Quoting ANother (Reply 24):

"I've been thinking about you a lot over the last days (weeks),

and I've decided that I like you, ... a lot.

I think we should take our relationship to the next step but, I'm not certain if you feel the way I do. I also understand that your studies are important to you and you may not need distractions at the moment.

So, what do you think? Should we give it a try?"

Dude, I believe I used those EXACT words (without success  Sad  weeping  )
Read this very carefully, I shall write this only once!
 
ANother
Posts: 1833
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 2:13 am

Quoting Pyrex (Reply 28):
Dude, I believe I used those EXACT words (without success)

Depends on how you define success. If she didn't want you there was nothing you could say to change her mind.

I suspect it was a success, because you then knew where you stood (outside).
 
corey07850
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 2:22 am

Quoting Jutes85 (Reply 27):
Step 1: Cut a hole in a box.

 rotfl 
 
dl021
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:00 am

Dude...if you are really wondering then lay one on her and see how she responds.

Or you could try asking her where she thinks you guys are at....that's always a conversation starter.

if all else fails put your hand on her ass and see what happens.
Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
 
pelican
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:24 am

Quoting DL021 (Reply 31):
if all else fails put your hand on her ass and see what happens.

Action is often better than talking, but wouldn't be a kiss more suitable?

pelican
 
goboeing
Topic Author
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 1:33 pm

Well I just adore some of the helpful comments I've read on here, such as putting my hand on her ass, etc.  Silly

I went over to her house for dinner...that turned out to be not including the parents as I thought. They left to go out to eat and she had the whole meal cooked for us two.

Between that and the fact that she instant messages me daily and/or tells me to call and wants the address of the hotel I will be living out of for two months so she can send something, I think it is quite obvious now. I better not get a dick in a box from the lobby desk though.

'Tis a shame I'll be away on February 14 but who says Valentine's day can't be done as late as around April Fool's day!
 
adopim88
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 5:32 pm

Just a small word of advice, even though it seems really obvious (which it does) still be careful. Don't assume too many things because you gotta watch out not to get heartbroken or disappointed.I can't make any judgements about this girl because I don't know her, and I can't say that she isn't just "playing" but I just advise to stay a little weary. That's my 2 cents.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
 
LOT767-300ER
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 5:37 pm

Quoting Adopim88 (Reply 34):
Just a small word of advice, even though it seems really obvious (which it does) still be careful. Don't assume too many things because you gotta watch out not to get heartbroken or disappointed.I can't make any judgements about this girl because I don't know her, and I can't say that she isn't just "playing" but I just advise to stay a little weary. That's my 2 cents.

Or you can just go for it. What the hell does he have to lose? Everything to gain.

We need to stop freaking giving ridiculous theories on what shes thinking like we are some ancient mathematicians and just tell him to go for it.

This is exactly why most guys have problems (excluding a.net...because here guys track their chicks flight to ATL) they think about this crap all too much and are afraid to act on what they want to say/do.
 
adopim88
Posts: 1988
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 5:50 pm

Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 35):
Or you can just go for it. What the hell does he have to lose? Everything to gain



Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 35):
We need to stop freaking giving ridiculous theories on what shes thinking like we are some ancient mathematicians and just tell him to go for it.

I didn't say not to go for it. If you never take chances and risks in life you can't get too far. No, on the contrary, he should go for it.
I wasn't trying to theorize how she is thinking either. I was just generalizing. I never like to see people get hurt. And from what I've seen from a lot of women, I was just putting it out there as a word of advice.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
 
dl021
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Jan 28, 2007 10:50 pm

Quoting Pelican (Reply 32):
Action is often better than talking, but wouldn't be a kiss more suitable?

I suggested that first. Ass grabbing is suggested as the second to last resort.


anyone care to guess the last resort question?
Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
 
TNNH
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Mon Jan 29, 2007 12:36 am

dude.. just get her drunk one night and put the moves on. you never thought of that?
 
ANother
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Mon Jan 29, 2007 2:42 am

Quoting GoBoeing (Reply 33):
'Tis a shame I'll be away on February 14 but who says Valentine's day can't be done as late as around April Fool's day!

Or before you go away, completely unexpected - she will swoon!
 
GQfluffy
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Mon Jan 29, 2007 3:28 am

Not taking the time to go re-read some of the responses, I'll say this-

If you get to see her again before you leave, maybe you should say "I can't wait to see you when I get back." See what her response is. If it's "Me too." Or "I can't wait either." Or something similar, I'd say You got a fairly good chance of it going further. But then, if you two are very good friends, I'd think you'd be able to sit down with her and ask "Is this going somewhere?" And don't expect anything, and don't be a jerk about it, just ask in a conversational tone. And if she did this:

Quoting GoBoeing (Reply 33):
I went over to her house for dinner...that turned out to be not including the parents as I thought. They left to go out to eat and she had the whole meal cooked for us two.

I'd say you are going somewhere, but just take it slow.  goodvibes 
This isn't where I parked my car...
 
Pyrex
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Mon Jan 29, 2007 7:05 pm

Quoting ANother (Reply 29):
Depends on how you define success. If she didn't want you there was nothing you could say to change her mind.

I suspect it was a success, because you then knew where you stood (outside).

You are right. Doesn't make it any less painful, though.
Read this very carefully, I shall write this only once!
 
jran225
Posts: 298
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:51 am

Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 35):
We need to stop freaking giving ridiculous theories on what shes thinking like we are some ancient mathematicians and just tell him to go for it.

This is exactly why most guys have problems (excluding a.net...because here guys track their chicks flight to ATL) they think about this crap all too much and are afraid to act on what they want to say/do.

Amen to that, welcome to my RU list Piotr. 

Greets,
-Omar S.

[Edited 2007-01-30 03:52:06]
Never tell your girlfriend about all the 'action' you're getting at the airport - only photogs understand that.
 
WestJetForLife
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:47 pm

Just be cool. Like everyone else has said above, take it slow and see what evolves.

That's what happened with my current (and only) relationship with my present and hopefully forever girlfriend Brittany (even though she lives in YWG and WS is charging $400 round-trip, bastards!). I didn't expect it to go very far, and it evolved, FAST.

Just take it easy, sir, and things will be good.

Cheers,
Nik
I need a drink.
 
runway23
Posts: 2387
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:48 pm

I'm surprised nobody has suggested this:

Grab her hand, if she grabs back at you chances are you are in. If she doesn't then more likely than not she doesn't feel much towards you other than friendship.

Sure it is simple but small signs tell a lot.
 
jutes85
Posts: 1854
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 12:50 pm

RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:08 am

Quoting Runway23 (Reply 44):
Grab her hand, if she grabs back at you chances are you are in. If she doesn't then more likely than not she doesn't feel much towards you other than friendship.

Why not just grab her ass.



Step 2: Put your Junk in that box.
nothing
 
User avatar
c172akula
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RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:32 am

Quoting WestJetForLife (Reply 43):
That's what happened with my current (and only) relationship with my present and hopefully forever girlfriend Brittany (even though she lives in YWG and WS is charging $400 round-trip, bastards!). I didn't expect it to go very far, and it evolved, FAST.

Oh man if you are in YYC I'll buy you the beer when the heartbreak happens. I also subscribe to the belief that you have to have more than 1 girl in your entire life, how do you know what you could be missing?

And for the OP, man up already! And if you are gone for seven weeks I wouldn't even bother putting it out there, what reason would she have this early on to wait around? I know it sounds harsh but it is true, you two aren't even dating and she is going to wait for you to get back?

But if it does work out then congrats, if she is playing games, get out.
 
WestJetForLife
Posts: 704
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2005 3:37 am

RE: Am I Dating This Female?

Sun Feb 04, 2007 8:27 am

Quoting C172Akula (Reply 46):
Oh man if you are in YYC I'll buy you the beer when the heartbreak happens. I also subscribe to the belief that you have to have more than 1 girl in your entire life, how do you know what you could be missing?

Haha, I live in YYC, Akula. I've been living here for 14 years.

And don't worry, I've had my share of girlfriends, but most of them were either mean and nasty, distant or just didn't put effort into the relationship. I've been dating Brittany for about a good four months now, and I'm really happy to be doing so.

And yes, I take you up on your offer if heartbreak happens (probably won't though).

Cheers.
I need a drink.

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