TedTAce
Topic Author
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Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 2:38 am

So in another thread a certain user espouses that he's denying his daughter access to the HPV vaccine because he wants to teach her abstinance is the correct way to go about her life.

I think this idea is ABSOLUTELY stupid and irresponsible.
By denying his daughter access to this drug he's saying that the 'cost' of her having premarital sex is the possibility of catching the virus that could lead to her possibly having a DEATH from uterine cancer as an ADULT.
I think it's showing how out of control he is and will garner her resentment towards him because instead of treating her like an adult and teaching her responsibility by explaining to her the proper way to act he's heavy handidly forcing his views of morality on her.

It would be one thing if she choose not to take the vaccine, but for anyone to deny her access is foolish.

My Daughter is only 5 now, but my plan is to give her access (when she's old enough) to everything she needs to have a safe sex life when she chooses to have one, but also talk to her time and time again about how special she is and how she needs to protect herself. Sex will be her decision, not mine; If I have done my job as a parent she will be safe and she will wait.

[Edited 2007-05-17 19:58:35]
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strasserb
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Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:46 pm

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 2:51 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
My Daughter is only 5, but my plan is to give her access to everything she needs to have a safe sex

 eek  Perhaps it's a good idea to post this thread again, let's say so around May 2017?
Still, even in the most arid desert is an airport somewhere ...
 
airfoilsguy
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 2:52 am

No child should ever be denied a vaccine. I don't care how you catch a disease, if there is a vaccine, it should be made available.
It's not a near miss it's a near hit!!
 
Superfly
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 2:55 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
My Daughter is only 5, but my plan is to give her access to everything she needs to have a safe sex

PLEASE RE-WORD THAT!  scared 
Bring back the Concorde
 
cxsjr
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 2:57 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):

I wholeheartedly agree with your summary!

I don't have children myself but my sister has three. They are all grown up now, all are living with their partners and one has a child of his own. IMHO, they are all extremely well brought up and my sisters attitude was much like yours. She made sure they had everything they needed for a safe sex life, and she even allowed (once at the age of consent) her children to have sex in their rooms, knowing that the alternative was probably a seedy grope and fling in the back of a car in a multi-storey car park!

The attitude of this 'other person' (I didn't see the other thread) is quite probably deluded by some far flung, outdated religious belief that abstinence is the way forward .... what utter nonsense!!
The world is a book, those who do not travel read only one page ....
 
TedTAce
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 3:00 am

Quoting StrasserB (Reply 1):
Perhaps it's a good idea to post this thread again, let's say so around May 2017?



Quoting Superfly (Reply 3):
PLEASE RE-WORD THAT!

I changed it already!! I thought the line about when her Dr. thought it was appropriate tipped it off I was speaking speculatively.
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Kunoichi
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 3:08 am

I wholeheartedly agree, Ted!

What a (excuse me) dumbass!  irked  Not giving his daughter the vaccine will NOT make her think twice about having sex pre-marriage if she wants to- it will however endanger her life, whenever she chooses to- be it before or after marriage!

What if she listens to him, has sex after marriage and still gets cancer?  Yeah sure Way to go, jack*ss... I really hope you're reading this!!!  mad 

You can't stop her- she'll be having sex before her marriage if she wants to, vaccine or not- why not make sure she doesn't get cancer and find other ways to push your view that "sex before marriage is bad, mmkay"?

When I get children, I'll certainly be making sure that they know what there is to know (when they're old enough of course), and though I'm all up for no-sex-before-marriage, it's certainly not anything I'll be risking their lives for...
"Do you speak fluent Canadian?"
 
andessmf
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 3:15 am

Had a good friend of ours die young of cervical cancer, she was 35 IIRC. You bet my daughter will get that vaccine. And it has nothing to do with being promiscuous, because our friend wasn't.

Let's all recall that HPV can take years to develop into cancer. So you can have many women in their 20's (and that applies to men as well) who are not overtly concerned with their health, yet, while this disease slowly kills them. I rather vaccine my daughters when we can have control over their health, not when they are concerned about other things in their 20s.
 
AGM100
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 3:33 am

Quoting Cxsjr (Reply 4):
don't have children myself but my sister has three.

With all due respect , before having children of my own I did not really think about it much. It does not have the same meaning when the person that you have raised for 15 years and loved like nothing else ,is faced with the perils in our modern world.

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
Sex will be her decision, not mine; If I have done my job as a parent she will be safe and she will wait.

Ted, kids at age 13/14/15/16 are so fucking vulnerable that you can not just trust their decisions. I had a situation recently with one of my daughters fifteen year old friends. This girl was googling over me ! She would come over to visit my daughter but would want to stay close to me and talk and laugh ... obviously flirting.
This scared the crap out of me, and made me realize that these girls are on the hunt so to speak. At first I just dismissed it as puppy love crap, but she would flaunt about in her bathing suit around me and was obviously trying to get my attention. This made me realize that they have the need like older women to get attention , and sex is the path that they use. Obviously It would be easy for me to dismiss her as just a freak and blame her parents , but I do think it is far deeper than that. I am not saying that this girl would just have sex with a 40 year old guy, but what I do think it that if the 40 year old wanted to push it ..he could probably persuade her into it. Scary stuff to think about when your daughter goes out for a sleep over at her freinds house.

All that being said , scaring the hell out of them by discussing what HPV is and letting them know that the best way to not get it is abstenance until they know their partner seems reasonable.

On the other hand , you view makes some sence as well. Your assumption is that they will choose to do it . Then they will tell the guy to put this on ... Equally scarry and risky.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
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LTU932
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 4:16 am

Well put, Ted. When I have kids, I'll make sure they know about sex and get proper sex education once they are old enough to understand. If they want to have sex before they marry, all I demand is that they have safe sex and that it's all consensual. In this day and age, sex is part of our lives, and we can't really deny our kids to have sex outside of marriage. As parents, we should make sure that they become responsible with such matters and stay safe.

And if I have a daughter and she has to get an HPV vaccine, she'll get it. Better safe than sorry.
Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. - Ferengi Rule of Acquisition 208
 
andessmf
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 4:40 am

Quoting LTU932 (Reply 9):
In this day and age, sex is part of our lives, and we can't really deny our kids to have sex outside of marriage.

Sex has been part of our lives since time immemorial, and not that long ago, most people would marry by 18, if not before. Therefore, I doubt that the age that most people have lost their virginity has changed, only the age of when people get married has. How many of us here have parents that married by 18?

I want my kids to do one thing that their parents (we) did: play the field enough to end up with someone you believe is the best sexual partner for you. By the time my wife and I got married, I knew from experience that she was the best, and viceversa, so both have no questions in our head whether we could have done better. And don't let anyone kid you. A good marriage requires good sexual chemistry.
 
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LTU932
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 4:57 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 10):
Sex has been part of our lives since time immemorial

What I meant is that sex is part of our everyday lives in the sense of it being mostly accepted as something we do not just for procreation, but also for recreation; plus it's something that is being discussed a lot among people. Just look back a few decades and centuries, and you'll see that back then, sex was a taboo subject and back then you may even have a marriage annulled, on the sole reason of your wife not being a virgin anymore (something like that is nowadays unthinkable in many places around the world).
Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. - Ferengi Rule of Acquisition 208
 
AGM100
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 4:57 am

Quoting Kunoichi (Reply 6):
What if she listens to him, has sex after marriage and still gets cancer? Way to go, jack*ss... I really hope you're reading this!!!

I am reading this , and pretty much have categorized you the same. But I respect your opinion to get the vaccine for your daughter , I never said that it was a choice everyone must make.

I chose to use the opportunity to really discuss this with my daughter , as I do often. The way her doctor played it was that I should just let her get it that day ... then I would not have to worry when she has sex @ 14/15/16...you know you cant stop her anyway. Bullshit , sex at that age is not good for our kids ! And we as parents should have the backbone to say it just like that. period. Its not about religion or being smart , its just basic reality.

She will get the vaccine , their is no doubt about it. But right now I am making a stand for her own good and she is fully aware of the consequences if she "chooses" to do it anyway.


PS , WADR Let me know when your daughter is 14.... right now you cant play in my house.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
andessmf
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:04 am

Quoting LTU932 (Reply 11):

I know, but I just wanted to point out that not that long ago, people were losing their virginity and having sex at about the same starting time as now.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 12):
Bullshit , sex at that age is not good for our kids !

I would much rather have them start at about 18 or 19 for a simple reason. If you start too early, you might have a higher chance of getting the wrong ideas about the joys that you could get from sex, and sex would slowly lose its appeal, possibly endangering future marriage when one of the partners complains about the other.

All I say is this: the level of enjoyment from orgasm at our age is way, way higher than we were younger.
 
TedTAce
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:09 am

So you say this: (really polite discussion language BTW)

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 8):
Ted, kids at age 13/14/15/16 are so fucking vulnerable that you can not just trust their decisions.

Then you say:

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 8):
All that being said , scaring the hell out of them by discussing what HPV is and letting them know that the best way to not get it is abstenance until they know their partner seems reasonable.

It's like you want to have your cake and eat it too. It's like you want to believe that she will not do what you are obviously affraid of just because your are keeping the medicine away from her. Well guess what, the chances are in all likelyhood she will go out thinking a condom will make the difference and be wrong, and because she is spiting your spiting her she will suffer the ultimate cost when all you had to do is say I here is the medicine 'just in case'. I hope I did a better job as a parent that you will not need it.

My rationale is that my children will decide what's right for them and when. I can try to influence them and I can even give them every tool imaginable to help them make a smart choice, but ultimately, it's their choice, and not mine. It's not right to scare children about sex, scare them about the possible consequences, but sscaring them about sex makes it something mysterious that they want to debunk. Ask My sister in law who is a grandmother who scared her daughter into getting pregnant @ 16.
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AGM100
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:12 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 13):
I would much rather have them start at about 18 or 19 for a simple reason.

Andes , at 13/14/1516 thier reason is simply peir pressure and aceptance. IMHO it has nothing to do with the joy of sex .. it is role playing. And sadlly role playing some kind AKON video or something.. scarry.

I agree with you , I think 18/19 they will.. especially girls know what they basically want. And of course my daughters will be treated with the vaccine by then. Right now I want to see how they react to my strong stand. This may change ,,, life is never black and white ... but I am hopefull that they will abstain.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
ANCFlyer
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:17 am

My daughter is now 13. I'm not overly concerned regarding her impending Sex Life - yet. Since her Step-Dad is a US Marshal  bigthumbsup  and of course, there's me, I assume anyone that wants to date Miranda will of course have the 10-19/10-20 run on them long before they show up at the house . . .

That said: I've talked with my ex-wife about this vaccine as regards Miranda. As some of you know, this vaccine holds a certain special interest to me. My first wife died on our 5th Anniversary from Cervical Cancer. So a vaccine that is designed to prevent that would of course hold my interest.

We've decided, in Miranda's best interest, to get the vaccine when it's offered. I watched my first wife fight that cancer like a hero, and she lost . . .

I don't want to have to see my Daughter deal with it.

Now, as for this utter non-sensical  redflag  that not getting this vaccine will prevent or mitigate sexual contact between young folk.  rotfl .

Someone is delusional.

If there is a proven vaccine against a disease, that has virtually no side effects and virtually no negative ramifications and it's not taken advantage of, thats simply assinine.

Watch your wife bleed out in the living room and twenty years later, discover there's a vaccine for the cause, and I guarantee, you'll change your mind.
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
TedTAce
Topic Author
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:18 am

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 15):
Right now I want to see how they react to my strong stand.



Quoting TedTAce (Reply 14):
Ask My sister in law who is a grandmother who scared her daughter into getting pregnant @ 16.

Good luck with that.
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Kunoichi
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:22 am

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 12):
I am reading this , and pretty much have categorized you the same.

Well, at least I won't put MY child in danger. If that makes me a jack*ss, I'm proud of being one.  Smile

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 15):
I agree with you , I think 18/19 they will.. especially girls know what they basically want. And of course my daughters will be treated with the vaccine by then.

At 19, it's too late to get the vaccine- it's most effective when they get it at 12-14. Most doctors say there really isn't a point to give the vaccine to them at that age.

You're not stopping your girl/s from doing ANYTHING by not giving them the vaccine. You're just endangering their lives. Period. If one of them goes and gets cancer, would you be able to look yourself in the mirror and say "I could have prevented this, but didn't"?
"Do you speak fluent Canadian?"
 
jaysit
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:31 am

Just when you thought that we in the US have antiquated attitudes about sex education, India decides to go back yet another 1000 years.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18723555/

And read this:

The Hindu nationalist government in Madhya Pradesh said sex education had “no place in Indian culture” and plans to introduce yoga in schools instead.

Yes, indeed. Yoga.

Because the best way to protect yourself from sexual diseases is to strike a pose.
Atheism is Myth Understood.
 
TedTAce
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:32 am

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 16):
Watch your wife bleed out in the living room and twenty years later, discover there's a vaccine for the cause, and I guarantee, you'll change your mind.

DAMN. I thought I had a good enough counter argument, but yours is very revealing and brilliant. I'm really sorry to come to know you had that experience, but I'm glad you are the better for it.
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Superfly
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:37 am

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 16):
My first wife died on our 5th Anniversary from Cervical Cancer.

ANCFlyer:
I am really sorry to hear about this. I had no idea that you lost a wife in the past.
A really good friend of the family and neighbor died a few years ago of cervical cancer and yes she was married and a born again Christian.
She was such a sweet person and we considered her part of our family as she and my mother shared babysitting us and her daughters.
She was very strict on her daughters and preached abstinence yet one of her two daughters got pregnant at 16 and 17 by two different men and out of wedlock. The other daughter (now age 36) is still in the closet and has never had a serious boyfriend even though she is rather attractive, nice and well educated.
Those strict morals didn't seem to seem to do any of them any good.  Yeah sure
Bring back the Concorde
 
bezoar
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:40 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
I think this idea is ABSOLUTELY stupid and irresponsible.

Ted, as a father and physician I agree with you.

This fellow is rather naive to think that his child - amongst all kids - will abstain from sex because of a vague threat that won't seem real to her. I think that being 'in heat' decreases blood flow to the brain, thus impairing the ability to think. The values he instills in his daughter could go by the wayside in a moment of curiosity, experimentation, and passion. I think a caring father would want to take away that risk.

Vaccines are not without their own risks, and any new therapy carries a certain amount of unknown risk. However, this father is not appealing to those possibilities.
"There are none so blind as those who will not see."
 
TedTAce
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:41 am

Quoting Jaysit (Reply 19):
Because the best way to protect yourself from sexual diseases is to strike a pose.

Isn't India having a major Aids crisis?
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Superfly
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 5:55 am

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 23):
Isn't India having a major Aids crisis?

Yoga and strict religious beliefs will solve that.  Yeah sure
Bring back the Concorde
 
andessmf
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 6:15 am

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 16):
My first wife died on our 5th Anniversary from Cervical Cancer

Damn! You can never recover from something like that.

Let me throw another argument:

We were all kids once, and we know that at a certain stage we decide that we know better than our parents. I know that at one point, my kids will believe (at least temporarily) that they can run their own lives. WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT AS PARENTS, this will simply happen. I much rather force my daughters to do something THEY MIGHT NOT DO in the future (or when its too late), than watch them die early and painfully.

I had somewhat similar situation, where one parent let me decide what to do, and the other wanted to force me to do something I did not want to do at the time. Now I wish I HAD been forced to do some things I did not do before. Therefore, I would get the vaccine for my daughters when we still have some control over their lives, not before it is too late.
 
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yowza
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 6:16 am

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 16):
If there is a proven vaccine against a disease, that has virtually no side effects and virtually no negative ramifications and it's not taken advantage of, thats simply assinine.

That phrase should herald the end of this thread. Nobody can make a clearer more valid statement with regards to this or any other vaccine.

YOWza
 
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LTU932
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 6:23 am

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 16):
My first wife died on our 5th Anniversary from Cervical Cancer.

My sincere condolences, John.

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 16):
If there is a proven vaccine against a disease, that has virtually no side effects and virtually no negative ramifications and it's not taken advantage of, thats simply assinine.

 checkmark 

Which brings us back to what I said in my earlier post: Better safe than sorry
Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. - Ferengi Rule of Acquisition 208
 
jafa39
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 6:43 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
I think this idea is ABSOLUTELY stupid and irresponsible.

Yup, you said it Ted!

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 8):
obviously trying to get my attention.

This has happened to me but the first time you give tham any attention they usually pack it in, its the fact that you won't take notice that drives the whole deal. Its about power and especially power over men.

But trying not be "pervy dad" is a mine field. Nowadays if one of The Hormone's half naked ho's bounces about in front of me I act the same as if she had clothes on and there is no issue. I believe they feel safe to do that at my house and I take it as a compliment...I also find it very funny as they're barking up the wrong tree....I'm a MILF Hunter  Wink

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 12):
And we as parents should have the backbone to say it just like that. period. Its not about religion or being smart , its just basic reality.

If you wanna talk basic realities.....do some research and see how many teenage girls actually take any notice of what their parents lay down as "law".

With kids you cannot gain compliance through confrontation, you have to do it by stealth and you have until they are 8 yrs old to set the tone of their lives. People adapt very well to their environment, if you give them the boundaries from birth (and not in an opressive way, just by the way you interact and the things you tell them) they'll end up with the right self-esteem and identity.

The Hormones has always been taught that men have to earn her respect and I have tried to be a good role model, where there are behaviours that I know she will indulge in (drinking, sex, driving, partying) we have always taught her how to do those things in a safe manner and she is in control of her sex and emotional lives, drives sensibly and parties with dignity.

She takes no crap from boyfs and will dump them if they don't meet her standards.

If I were to try to withold access to contraceptives or vaccines in order to prevent her from having sex, i would be a deluded dumbass of some magnitude. I introduced her to the family planning clinic where she has access to free contraceptives.

She isn't "promiscuous" and both gives and expects 100% committment when in a relationship.

In short, she has control, Mrs Jafa and I just hepled her to have that control and that is the best you can expect from a teenage girl...balance, moderation and safety, she lives by her moral code and not mine, we influenced that moral code but that was done well before she was 10 yrs.....teenage years are way too late.
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
Superfly
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 6:44 am

Re: my post #21
I don't want to sound like I was knocking the daughter that had two out of wedlock children either. She did take care of her mother day in and day out until she passed. That has to be a incredibly difficult and heart-wrenching task for anyone to see there own mother deteriorate. I have a tremendous amount of respect for her.
Bring back the Concorde
 
andessmf
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 6:47 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 28):
She takes no crap from boyfs and will dump them if they don't meet her standards.

Sounds like my wife.  biggrin 

So, Jafa, for the first time I tell someone about getting into my RU list. Fortunately, we are in complete agreement as to how to raise daughter. I'll ask for tips once my daughters get older. Great post.
 
Superfly
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 6:50 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 30):
She takes no crap from boyfs and will dump them if they don't meet her standards.

Sounds like my wife.

Conrad, your wife is still seeing other guys?  Wow!
Bring back the Concorde
 
jafa39
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 6:55 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 30):
So, Jafa, for the first time I tell someone about getting into my RU list. Fortunately, we are in complete agreement as to how to raise daughter. I'll ask for tips once my daughters get older. Great post.

Gee thanks! But ask for tips now, the work you do when she is little will pay dividends later....you gotta be able to sleep at nights when your kid starts having a life  Smile
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
wrighbrothers
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:00 am

In my opinion, if you force things too much upon people, you just drive them away to do the thing you don't want the to do, like, when you say 'don't look over there' what's the first thing most people do ?
You've got to put your view point across and make actions in the knowledge that it is not YOUR life, but theirs.
There's people who have unprotected sex aged 13, 14 and they simply don't know anything and end up with a big shock that they've now become a mummy or daddy. Like drinking, children need to be introduced at a correct age and taught properly about sex or else it all comes as a nasty surprise when it all goes horribly wrong.

Lots of people have sex, not just because it's a fun thing to do and sounds cool when you're talking with your mates about how you 'got off with this chick', but also the 'danger', the fact they're able to do this and mummy and daddy aren't stopping them, either because the parents are too lax, or too strict and so they do it almost out of rebellion to their parents.

My generation is very different from your generation. Things are very different, having sex and drinking young is seen as 'cool' within our age, we act differently and we think differently. The problem is, kids don't want to talk about things like sex with their parents, not just because it's embarrassing, but because you just won't listen and/or understand. I'm pretty sure if most people over 20yrs old walked in and spend a day on a normal school day as 'one of us', you'd be pretty shocked. Kids use bad language part of general conversation, talk about girls and the things they'd like to do to them etc etc.
This is the problem, you've really either got to keep up with the ideas, or become a stuffy old person who still believes in no sex before marriage and thinks the bible has all the answers for kids. As I said, we thing very differently and most kids would rather learn sex through experience or their mates talking about their sexual activities, than a beasting from dad about how they're wrong wrong wrong, because, as I keep saying, that just won't help.

In case you're wondering, I'm in the age group you're talking about.
Wrighrothers
Always stand up for what is right, even if it means standing alone..
 
andessmf
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RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:01 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 32):
But ask for tips now, the work you do when she is little will pay dividends later

We already do what you are saying, so I feel pretty safe so far. I keep good watch over your advice.
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:03 am

Quoting Bezoar (Reply 22):
Ted, as a father and physician I agree with you.

Dr. Why do I feel that it is same thing as giving my daughter clean needles just in case she decides to shoot smack ? After all I can not stop her ? I have not tried to say that my way is the best way ! I am just as confused about it and second guessing as the next guy ? As a doctor , could I ask for the vaccine but not tell my daughter what it is for . I am taking her in next week for Meningococcal vacine , maybe I will do it at the same time . Do I have to tell her about it ??

I am reading the HPV hand out right now that was given to me by her doctor. Under who should get the vaccine ... it states " Reason #1 they should get it before having sex . It also states that the vaccine can be given from ages 9-26 or before they are infected with HPV.

I am not arguing the merit of the vaccine .. of course it is great. I am worried about the message it sends to my daughters.

I know it is much easier just to call me a jackass and a fool (pretty common responce here) , but it is a real concern to me. So far I am alone in this concern I guess.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:18 am

Quoting Superfly (Reply 31):
Conrad, your wife is still seeing other guys?

No, she's got enough with this man!  biggrin 

(I passed her rigorous tests)
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:18 am

Quoting Wrighbrothers (Reply 33):
Kids use bad language part of general conversation, talk about girls and the things they'd like to do to them etc etc.

Hey dude, I'm 46, believe me...you didn't invent being a teenager  Wink  Wink

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 35):
Why do I feel that it is same thing as giving my daughter clean needles just in case she decides to shoot smack

Because you are overreacting due to your belief system, same as we are by calling you a dumbass, truth is...we care and would like to help you get this in perspective.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 35):
Do I have to tell her about it ??

No, you don't have to at all, after all, its just a vaccine, not like you're having her sterilised.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 35):
I am worried about the message it sends to my daughters.

The message could be "One day you'll be an adult and this vaccine will prevent you getting a disease that affects adults but you have to have it now or it doesn't work".

Fact is she'll have sex one day, giving her the vaccine shows her that you care about her in the long term and the message will be that people need to think long-term to survive....that is a good message to give a kid...trust me.
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:25 am

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 35):
I am worried about the message it sends to my daughters.

If you do it early enough, say about 12, it is just another vaccine.
 
TedTAce
Topic Author
Posts: 9098
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:31 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:27 am

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 35):
me a jackass and a fool



Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
idea is ABSOLUTELY stupid and irresponsible.

Just because one had a bad idea it doesn't necessarily mean they are bad and worthy of being called a name.


I know you meant the following for the Dr. but let me say....

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 35):
Dr. Why do I feel that it is same thing as giving my daughter clean needles just in case she decides to shoot smack ? After all I can not stop her ?

You are comparing apples and oranges here. Unless your family has a history of addiction, I think that your daughters will be fine if you have been constantly reminding them to say no to drugs.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 35):
Do I have to tell her about it ??

Do you REALLY think it's MORALLY correct to give someone a drug without telling them?

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 35):
I am worried about the message it sends to my daughters.

The message is up to YOU. The way I would say it is that "While I think the idea of you being sexually active is totally repulsive and irresponsible on your part, I'm not going to let you go out there unprotected when something can be done to help you later in life. Please understand I'm allowing you to have this because I trust you and because I want you to be safe in case you are exposed to this as an adult. Do you have any questions?"
This space intentionally left blank
 
TheCol
Posts: 1857
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:30 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:37 am

Quoting Airfoilsguy (Reply 2):
No child should ever be denied a vaccine. I don't care how you catch a disease, if there is a vaccine, it should be made available.

Agreed.

Quoting Superfly (Reply 21):
Those strict morals didn't seem to seem to do any of them any good.

At the end of the day, the decision falls on the child. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that a religious upbringing doesn't have much of an effect. I know plenty of religious young people who have waited until they got married.
No matter how random things may appear, there's always a plan.
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 7:53 am

quote=Jafa39,reply=28]If you wanna talk basic realities.....do some research and see how many teenage girls actually take any notice of what their parents lay down as "law".[/quote]

Jafa , despite my tone I do not "lay the law " with my daughters. I ,like the way you sound have a good relationship with my kids. We talk about everything , we struggle though life together (I am a single father). We talk about sex , politics , we talk about life and death. I simply make my position clear that sex is for later when its enjoyed to the fullest.And that sex to young may ruin your ability to have that special relationship later on. I try to teach my kids that they have a long life ahead of them and not to be in a hurry.

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 37):
"One day you'll be an adult and this vaccine will prevent you getting a disease that affects adults but you have to have it now or it doesn't work".

I have thought about that to , My daughter would "get that" I know she would understand that and appreciate it. But at what point does lowering the risk of having sex under age enable her in that moment of weakness. A moment that if she thought about the consequence of a nasty disease may cause her to reflect a bit more.

Jafa , you make a solid argument here , I tend to agree with your perspective since your such and old dude... 46 wow.  Big grin Thanks
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
Kunoichi
Posts: 743
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:22 pm

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 8:02 am

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 39):
Just because one had a bad idea it doesn't necessarily mean they are bad and worthy of being called a name.


I realise I overdid it, and for that I apologise...
But like a couple of people in this thread, I've experienced this type of cancer up close and personal- though it's not an excuse to take it out on others, I hope you understand.
-Janni
"Do you speak fluent Canadian?"
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 8:07 am

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 41):
A moment that if she thought about the consequence of a nasty disease may cause her to reflect a bit more.

We can ask women, but I am of the opinion that a woman would be more concerned of the pregnancy consequence that a disease that may or may not get her later.

I would suggest therefore that for control I would do it when they are younger and you may not have to answer completely the reason why she is getting the vaccine. After all, the explanation we give our kids now is that they get a vaccine to prevent a future disease, with no further explanation required.
 
Kunoichi
Posts: 743
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:22 pm

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 8:16 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 43):

We can ask women, but I am of the opinion that a woman would be more concerned of the pregnancy consequence that a disease that may or may not get her later.

 bigthumbsup  Yep...

apart from that, sex is not the ONLY thing that can cause cervix cancer. So even if she does keep up the abstinence, she might get it anyway...
"Do you speak fluent Canadian?"
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 8:25 am

Interesting chart that seems to insinuate that the prevalence for getting the virus is higher for younger women.

See it please.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:G..._HPV_infection_incidence_graph.png

(no wonder authorities want girls vaccinated early)
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 8:27 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 43):
We can ask women, but I am of the opinion that a woman would be more concerned of the pregnancy consequence that a disease that may or may not get her later.

Well pregnancy is not a big deal... you can always just get a abortion...
 Yeah sure
I did not just say that , forget it


I am going to have the vaccine done next week, I am not sure if I am going to tell her yet. I will call her doctor tomorrow and ask her if we can couple it with the MPSV4.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 8:35 am

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 46):
I am not sure if I am going to tell her yet.

I don't think you should, especially if she is young enough. I would do the same with my daughters.
 
Kunoichi
Posts: 743
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:22 pm

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 8:38 am

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 46):

I am going to have the vaccine done next week, I am not sure if I am going to tell her yet. I will call her doctor tomorrow and ask her if we can couple it with the MPSV4.

Thanks. And once again, sorry about the name-calling.

If it's anything to you, I want you to know that absolutely NO woman takes abortion lightly- and those who do are very, very few. It's not something that you "just do", and when it's done a woman will carry it with her for the rest of her life- whether she feels guilty or not differs, but don't worry that your daughter may grow up and think of abortion as an "easy way out". I'm sure she'll learn to protect herself properly when that time comes.  Smile

Heaps of respect for making the right decission and actually listening to the people on here- some of us (*cough*me*cough*) expressed ourselves in a quite unfortunate way, but I do hope you understand that we only meant well.

Good luck!  Smile
"Do you speak fluent Canadian?"
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Your Children And Sex

Fri May 18, 2007 8:59 am

Quoting Kunoichi (Reply 48):
If it's anything to you, I want you to know that absolutely NO woman takes abortion lightly

I hope you are right , and I think you are.


Most on here mean well , but I see very few who will ever give up a position and see the other side. I do consider the constructive replies on here and attempt to reflect a bit. Maybe thats why I have not reached 8000+ posts in 3 years...
 Wink  Wink  duck 
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !

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