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AeroWesty
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"Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:00 am

An interesting blog post about an ex-gay activist, coming out of the closet concerning the failings of the ex-gay movement:

Quoting http://www.queerty.com/news/ex-gays-turn-on-movement-20070618/:

More and more so-called ex-gays are coming out against the movement, including one of the most prominent anti-gay activists, Alan Chambers.

Chambers reached national infamy as the spokesperson for Exodus International, an ex-gay group dedicated to “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ”.

Despite years of religious reparative therapy to “cure” his queerness, Chambers finally woke up to the dangers - and impossibility - of his movement.

The money quote in the posting is that the co-founder of Exodus International, Michael Bussee, later fell in love with another male "ex-gay". Perhaps more of these types will come to their senses. The news is somewhat encouraging.
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Klaus
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:04 am

... not that it ever was all that steamy to begin with...!  silly   innocent 
 
Superfly
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:08 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Thread starter):
Exodus International, an ex-gay group dedicated to "freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ".

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 

Perhaps they realized that women were not impressed by the fact that they liked men at one time.
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Klaus
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:13 am

Quoting Superfly (Reply 2):
Perhaps they realized that women were not impressed by the fact that they liked men at one time.

Worse: They realized they themselves didn't really care whether women were impressed...!  mischievous 
 
tootallsd
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:25 am

In San Diego, one of the loudest, most obnoxious ex-gays (he decided to 'ex' when he was diagnosed HIV+, is running for City Council. Truly an odious man. I was thinking about being ex-white but the cosmetic cost was too high.
 
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johnboy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:11 am

I watched a Frontline special on the "ex-gay" movement one time a few years back....they focused on several people throughout the program.

I think the saddest part for me, was that even though these misguided "ex-gay" souls did everything the Fundies 'n Fobes said to do -- "renounce" homosexuality, go to church, live a KKKhristian lifestyle -- in the end, the people in their church STILL shunned them.

Disgusting.

John
 
ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:23 am

Quoting Johnboy (Reply 5):
I watched a Frontline special on the "ex-gay" movement one time a few years back....they focused on several people throughout the program.

I think the saddest part for me, was that even though these misguided "ex-gay" souls did everything the Fundies 'n Fobes said to do -- "renounce" homosexuality, go to church, live a KKKhristian lifestyle -- in the end, the people in their church STILL shunned them.

Having been through Exodus personally, I can attest to what you say from a 1st-hand perspective.... particularly the last sentence.
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AeroWesty
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:28 am

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 6):
Having been through Exodus personally

Toured their facility or took their program?
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dtwclipper
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:44 am

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 6):
Having been through Exodus personally, I can attest to what you say from a 1st-hand perspective.... particularly the last sentence.



Please give us your insight into this programme. I would be very interested on your views.
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MDorBust
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:47 am

Hopefully they are moving on from the Ex-Gay movement to the Ex-Breather movement.
"I KICKED BURNING TERRORIST SO HARD IN BALLS THAT I TORE A TENDON" - Alex McIlveen
 
ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:51 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 7):
took their program

 checkmark 

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 8):
I would be very interested on your views.

...leaving work now, will do so in detail when I get home.
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cannibalz3
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 11:19 am

Anybody here see that South Park episode? Can anyone (ConcordeBoy) comment on it's....not accuracy, but I guess accuracy of reasoning?
 
ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:18 pm

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 8):
Please give us your insight into this programme. I would be very interested on your views.

Well, first and foremost; I still twitch somewhat when I hear the word "freedom", because the mantra of "Freedom from Homosexuality..." was so constantly rammed down your throat. They took great care never to utilize, or even insinuate, the notion of "curing" you however (which is why attempts to debate Exodus feature opponents who love to utilize the "c" word). Exodus Intl's goal instead is to be 'reparative', i.e., restructure the behavioral patterns you've learned to associate not only with each gender-- but in different situations concerning each (and at times, both) genders.

The situations you allow yourself to fall into are a big factor of that reparative philosophy. As such, for those new to the program-- there's some strictly enforced guidelines as to where, with whom, and what situations you can involve yourself in. Multiple males are never to be in tandem without the presence of at least one female, period. Large groups should have an equal or greater (in favor of females) female:male ratio. [[Something that should immediately jump out to any gay guy (as it did me) is their prevalent belief that any gay people (either gender) would not be able to resist the urge to sexually interact, even without physical contact, with ANY other person of that gender. I can hear all the queers reading this start to chortle uncontrollably ]]

While on the topic of guidelines: they have recommended churches and tonnnnsss (and I mean tonnnnnnns) of required/recommended reading. I often compared it to the SugarBusters plan, which was all the rage back at this time (or to the Atkins Diet, for those who don't remember that far/clearly): you have Atkins-approved food, Atkins-approved beverages, Atkins-suggested exercise regimes, etc.... just as there were Exodus-approved churches, Exodus-approved movies/shows, Exodus-suggested philosophy (such as THIS), and of course Exodus-approved/suggested/required readings.

.....I could go on and on, but it's 11:11pm and I'm starting to ramble. Any particular questions, just ask.

[Edited 2007-06-19 06:33:50]
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AeroWesty
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:29 pm

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 12):
Any particular questions, just ask.

Just one. Why did you do the program?

(BTW, is anyone else getting the "RealJock" ads in this thread?  yummy  )
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ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:36 pm

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 13):
Why did you do the program?

At my mother's insistence, after my older sister (mistakenly) outted me, and I refused to deny it.
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BN747
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:49 pm

Quoting Tootallsd (Reply 4):
Truly an odious man. I was thinking about being ex-white but the cosmetic cost was too high.

BAAH hA HAHAHA...
...that is is just a spleen buster!!!

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 6):
Having been through Exodus personally, I can attest to what you say from a 1st-hand perspective.... particularly the last sentence.

Wow..that explains alot. Many of your past responses to come across as (or appear to be ) gay-neutral AND race-neutral (while being an example of both - race as in obviously a person of color) seemed to come across as a unnerving combination of self-loathing (or discomfort) and a reaching desireability of 'a perfect world' (as if that positioning would achieve it (if even ..only for yourself). I only comment as observing your and 'a fews others' previous posts. Again..just an observation, and being sincere here, not taking cheap shots at your trying to make fun of you and your situation in any way, shape or form. But your revelation explains quite a bit.

A Movement like 'Exodus' was bound to fail because as 'good of intentions' they believed they had in mind..they were in effect attempting to put a lid on something natural (sex) and store it in jar and hope it would simply go away while they worked thier voodoo. A natural force like sex (like life itself..will find a way, it always does). It's like the police stings of johns & hookers, arrest them, confiscate their cars, post their names on tv and the net--basically scaring the bejesus out these people. But then, over time..the natural drive of sex is back and finds a way -- unfortunately, when forced deeper underground in pursuit, it can yield some not so pretty results (child molestation, obliterating familes ala Gov. Jim McGreevy [but the countless family names we'll never know], rape and worse. Not always, but sexual repression and denial almost always wreak havoc in one form or another. It works the same way with race, perfect example were the posts by Texdravid, the Indian (as in from India). He towed the hard conservative, rightwing 'all american' political line--then came his post of him being pulled over for being a dark fella driving a very expensive car--his words... not mine. Point is, being an accomplish MD (he says).. but know he was suddenly a minority and ecerything he said about things happening to minorities weren't try...was NOW true.

In both cases, the problems starts with veined attempts 'to be' something of perfection sculptured by 'someoneelse' while abandoning attempts to discover for ones self--just who you are... a little self-doubt is all that's needed to pull someone into the ranks..not everyone, but enough to ruin the lives of many. Not sure how much psychological damage they did to you (if any),,but for them to cut and run after 'curing' ***cough cough***so many... there's cured guys somewhere looking at themselves in mirror asking 'what will I fall for next?' (I'm aware you went at the insistance of your mother..but nonetheless..it had an affect on you)

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 13):

(BTW, is anyone else getting the "RealJock" ads in this thread? yummy )

Saw that..just what is A.net coming to??? I guess all cash is green--


BN747
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ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 4:12 pm

Quoting BN747 (Reply 15):
Many of your past responses to come across as (or appear to be ) gay-neutral AND race-neutral

 Confused

Quoting BN747 (Reply 15):
I'm aware you went at the insistance of your mother..but nonetheless..it had an affect on you

...ya mean like drinking a bottle of bleach in front of them to prove no I'm not f^cking around I'd really rather croak that be further subjected to this sh!t? Yeah, not my finest moment, but learned/grew a lot (to some extent Big grin) from it.
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johnboy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:28 pm

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 16):
...ya mean like drinking a bottle of bleach in front of them to prove no I'm not f^cking around I'd really rather croak that be further subjected to this sh!t? Yeah, not my finest moment, but learned/grew a lot (to some extent ) from it.

Glad you made it thru and are still around.  Smile

Surviving and thriving -- it's the biggest "This is who i am/'Fuck You" we can give to the world at large....

Take care,
John
 
Doona
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:57 pm

Quoting AeroWesty (Thread starter):

The money quote in the posting is that the co-founder of Exodus International, Michael Bussee, later fell in love with another male "ex-gay".

Somehow that's really sweet. Would make an excellent movie. Someone should get on the phone to Hollywood. Imagine how that little love story would piss of the exodus-types...

Cheers
Mats
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AeroWesty
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:08 pm

Quoting Doona (Reply 18):
Would make an excellent movie. Someone should get on the phone to Hollywood. I

It would certainly be "high concept", wouldn't it? LOL
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dtwclipper
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:27 pm

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 14):
At my mother's insistence, after my older sister (mistakenly) outted me, and I refused to deny it.

I am so sorry that you were forced to partake in such cruel non-sense. I hope that you have had the time to recover from the torture that your mother put you through.


What is your current relationship with her, if I may ask?

My parents have always been so accepting of my partner, almost to the point of embarrasment, but that is what mothers do best  Wink . She would often introduce my other half as her "fifth son" which often confused many a stranger!
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Doona
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:41 pm

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 20):

My parents have always been so accepting of my partner, almost to the point of embarrasment, but that is what mothers do best

Same here. My mother gets nostalgic of her "hippie day" of the early seventies, because I'm gay. And for some reason she thinks it's OK to talk about sex with me now.

Cheers
Mats

[Edited 2007-06-19 13:42:12]
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TSS
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Tue Jun 19, 2007 11:02 pm

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 16):
Quoting BN747 (Reply 15):I'm aware you went at the insistance of your mother..but nonetheless..it had an affect on you
...ya mean like drinking a bottle of bleach in front of them to prove no I'm not f^cking around I'd really rather croak that be further subjected to this sh!t? Yeah, not my finest moment, but learned/grew a lot (to some extent ) from it.

Perhaps they should mention that as one possible reaction to their "treatment" in their brochures.
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ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:22 am

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 20):

What is your current relationship with her, if I may ask?

We get along absolutely great, so long as the subjects of dating/relationships/marriage don't arise.

....dunno why, but in the last two years or so, her (particularly church-) peers and our relatives seem to reflexively bring it upon themselves to ask "So when's Freddie getting married" every friggin' time they see the two of us in proximity. Always makes for an awkward 5minutes  Yeah sure

Quoting TSS (Reply 22):
Perhaps they should mention that as one possible reaction to their "treatment" in their brochures.

Sad truth is, that was a cry for attention. There's much more efficient ways to off oneself for anyone who has that as their sole objective-- and I'd heard of quite a few, who went through the program, being successful at such.  Sad
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Boeing744
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:37 am

Concordeboy:

Thanks for all your very insightful posts in this thread. Something you didn't make clear though (or maybe I didn't understand), was when you were forced to partake in this program, did you go in with an open mind, or did you go in thinking it wouldn't work?

EDIT: ...Just reading my question over makes me sound like I'm a Fundie myself haha. What I mean by an open mind is did you think yourself that there was a chance it was possible, or did you just know it wouldn't work, and were just doing it to please your mother? (Personally I also believe (know) this ex-Gay crap is BS).

EDIT 2: Also, when was this, and how long were you in the program? I hope you are alright with all these questions from people because it is a very personal and probably painful topic, but it is extremely fascinating to hear your views. So thank you!  Smile

[Edited 2007-06-19 17:38:03]

[Edited 2007-06-19 17:41:22]
 
Klaus
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:52 am

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 23):
dunno why, but in the last two years or so, her (particularly church-) peers and our relatives seem to reflexively bring it upon themselves to ask "So when's Freddie getting married" every friggin' time they see the two of us in proximity. Always makes for an awkward 5minutes

Why not ask them, then, to stop preventing you from ever marrying...!  mischievous 
 
TSS
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:10 am

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 23):
her (particularly church-) peers and our relatives seem to reflexively bring it upon themselves to ask "So when's Freddie getting married" every friggin' time they see the two of us in proximity. Always makes for an awkward 5minutes

My Dad's side of the family still does this to me as well. The sh!t-stirring, love-to-see-the-looks-on-their-faces part of me is always tempted to answer their question with "When it becomes legal in all states for two guys to get married".

Quoting Boeing744 (Reply 24):
I hope you are alright with all these questions from people because it is a very personal and probably painful topic, but it is extremely fascinating to hear your views. So thank you!

I most heartily agree.
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ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:03 am

Quoting Boeing744 (Reply 24):
was when you were forced to partake in this program

See, here's the thing, I'm not sure "forced" could be considered a fair description.

I was given an option, one I could hardly refuse, but still a very definitive option: go through it, or don't.

Consequences being that the parentals would still love me no matter which option I chose, which they made quite clear... but if I wanted to remain as part of their family under their roof, then I would do it.

Quoting Boeing744 (Reply 24):
did you go in with an open mind, or did you go in thinking it wouldn't work?

I went in with the sole objectives of 1) keeping my family intact, 2) normalizing my life back to what it had been, and most importantly to me at the time 3) retaining access to my parents' finances.

It was for the desire for the aforementioned three that I wanted change, not any abject longing to be(come) a heterosexual.

Quoting Klaus (Reply 25):
Why not ask them, then, to stop preventing you from ever marrying...!

Touche'!



[Edited 2007-06-20 01:07:36]
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Doona
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:15 am

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 27):
Consequences being that the parentals would still love me no matter which option I chose, which they made quite clear... but if I wanted to remain as part of their family under their roof, then I would do it.

That just doesn't make sense to me... "Yes, we're your family, and we'll always love you no matter what, but if you don't do as we say, you won't be part of our family". Sheesh, the idea just scares me...
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ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:53 am

...which shows you apparently haven't been all that exposed to Southern "Conservatives".  Wink
Very common sentiment not only among those with gay children, but those 'afflicted' by teen pregnancy.
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Klima
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:47 pm

This thread reminded me of this funny movie I watched a while ago.



Here's Roger Ebert's review: http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/...AID=/20000714/REVIEWS/7140302/1023
 
Boeing744
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:32 pm

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 29):
Very common sentiment not only among those with gay children, but those 'afflicted' by teen pregnancy.

You know, I've heard homosexuality is a very good "cure" for that...  Wink  mischievous   stirthepot 
 
frequentflyer
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:58 pm

To me going to such programs is an abomination. I understand however some personal circumstances, as ConcordeBoy mentioned, may have an impact on your decision to go.

But to me it is utter Bulls#$#.

How can people believe or be led to believe that one can alter their sexual orientation to something completely different?
It is such a defining part of us, it is like asking them to grow a 3rd arm. Stupid. And am not even talking of the religious aspect, which puts a stain on said Religion.
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ConcordeBoy
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:49 pm

Quoting Frequentflyer (Reply 32):
How can people believe or be led to believe that one can alter their sexual orientation to something completely different?

...because when it comes right down to it, the people who subscribe to these such activities still believe people choose (be it consciously or subconsciously) to not only be, but "act" gay.

Exodus makes it quite clear that they're not going to "cure" you of homosexuality, but instead teach you to route around it as best as possible in order to simulate a "normal" lifestyle.
About the best analogy possible would be to think of someone born with a slightly-crippling leg deformity: their natural composition would never be cured, but the organization would attempt to teach them to strive their best to overcome their innate limitation such that they could walk as normally as possible.
I guess that's the easiest way to describe Exodus' philosophy, as it was expressed to me anyways.
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TSS
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:48 am

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 33):
Exodus makes it quite clear that they're not going to "cure" you of homosexuality, but instead teach you to route around it as best as possible in order to simulate a "normal" lifestyle.

About the best analogy possible would be to think of someone born with a slightly-crippling leg deformity: their natural composition would never be cured, but the organization would attempt to teach them to strive their best to overcome their innate limitation such that they could walk as normally as possible.

And therein lies the core flaw in their reasoning: Simulating either someone else's idea of a "normal" lifestyle when you're gay or a normal gait when you naturally walk with a limp are both forms of lying and of denying who you really are. Far better to accept the things that make you a unique individual, whether those things are perceived by society at large as good or bad, and to expect society at large to do the same.

Trust me, I know whereof I speak: Not only am I gay, but I also walk with a limp. Sometimes it's hardly noticeable (or so I'm told), but if I've been standing or sitting in the same position for a long period of time it's quite pronounced. Frankly, I don't think about it and it doesn't keep me from enjoying walking and even hiking, although if I get in a hurry I'm prone to falling down. It's just the way things are and I accept that, and anyone who doesn't accept that needs to take two giant steps outside my circle of friends, period.

Having a limp actually has one distinct benefit as well: Whenever I'm walking through an airport, the drivers of the electric taxis always take it upon themselves to stop and ask me if I'd like a ride to my connecting gate. Big grin
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mt99
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:37 am

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 12):
groups should have an equal or greater (in favor of females) female:male ratio.



Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 33):
simulate a "normal" lifestyle.

Like simulating a hetero marriage? having 'fake' children? isnt that terribly selfish?
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kevi747
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:35 am

God, I am so lucky!! My family has been so accepting and supportive of me. There was a little weirdness with my dad when I first came out, but he came around within a few months. And my straight friends couldn't have been more sympathetic.

But my best friends parents forced him to go through one of these programs. It's so funny to hear the stories about what it was like. He says it was so pathetic. Just a bunch of nelly queens and butch lesbians siting around pretending to be interested in each other. I can't even imagine how awkward it must be. It really pisses me off that people are forced into such horrible situations.

Quoting BN747 (Reply 15):
Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 6):
Having been through Exodus personally, I can attest to what you say from a 1st-hand perspective.... particularly the last sentence.

Wow..that explains alot.

Yes, it does. I'm sorry you had to go though that. And, no disrespect to her, but your mother owes you an apology.

Quoting BN747 (Reply 15):
seemed to come across as a unnerving combination of self-loathing (or discomfort) and a reaching desireability of 'a perfect world'

See, I've always thought he takes great pains to point out that while he acknowledges being gay, he's not "a gay man". Meaning that it's very important to him that no one lump him in with the rest of us "moral-less, AIDS-chasing, bed-hopping, disgusting fags". He's way up there; we're way down here. That separation is very important to him. It's a totally f-ed up view, but I also used to think that way. It's just a crutch you use on the way to totally accepting yourself.

Quoting Klima (Reply 30):
This thread reminded me of this funny movie I watched a while ago.

That movie was hilarious!  bigthumbsup 
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frequentflyer
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RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:53 am

Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 33):
...because when it comes right down to it, the people who subscribe to these such activities still believe people choose (be it consciously or subconsciously) to not only be, but "act" gay.

Exodus makes it quite clear that they're not going to "cure" you of homosexuality, but instead teach you to route around it as best as possible in order to simulate a "normal" lifestyle.

Concorde, I feel for you. First those guys make the big mistake to believe it is a choice.
2nd, they have people pretend they are somebody else, instituting Lies as a basis for their existence.
3rd, they consider it an illness

Really screwed up! And so sad.

Live and let live
Love and let Love
Take off and live
 
ConcordeBoy
Posts: 16852
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2001 8:04 am

RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:25 am

Quoting TSS (Reply 34):
both forms of lying and of denying who you really are.

They know, they don't care. They feel as if they're doing you a favor by giving you a pathway to normalcy and in the end saving your damned-because-you've-committed-an-abomination soul.

Quoting Mt99 (Reply 35):
isnt that terribly selfish?

They feel it's for the good of society's moral fabric, so to them it's the exact opposite-- quite the personal sacrifice.

Quoting Kevi747 (Reply 36):
And, no disrespect to her, but your mother owes you an apology

I don't agree... she thought she was doing what was best for me, nor would I feel as if pushing for that would accomplish anything.

Quoting Kevi747 (Reply 36):
See, I've always thought he takes great pains to point out that while he acknowledges being gay, he's not "a gay man". Meaning that it's very important to him that no one lump him in with the rest of us "moral-less, AIDS-chasing, bed-hopping, disgusting fags".

...you talking about me?
Faire du ciel le plus bel endroit de la terre c'est impossible sans Concorde!
 
Charles79
Posts: 1119
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:35 pm

RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:44 pm

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 20):
My parents have always been so accepting of my partner, almost to the point of embarrasment, but that is what mothers do best

It's funny how my parents now accept and adore my partner when not too long ago they were very anti-gay, before I outed myself to them. Most of my friends/relatives/coworkers, many of whom are also in the military, just haven't been exposed to gays at all, so all of their judgement is based on stereotypes...

I grew up in a very conservative church that used to denounce homosexuality as a sin, and in a way it was a similar experience to being in a program like exodus. I grew up hating myself, uncomfortable with the thoughts in my head, and praying to God every night to make straight...now, I thank Him that he didn't answer my stupid prayer, instead gave me a chance to accept myself for who I am. Perhaps 20 years down the road we'll look back and laugh at our ridiculous "gay conversion" programs!

Btw, anyone seen the movie "But I'm a cheerleader!". Hilarious!

Cheers

Charles
 
airtebiong
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2007 6:32 pm

RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:34 pm

Reminds me of the time when i came out to my family. My big bro said he would accept me only if i'd tell him that there's a chance that i would change...

Quoting Charles79 (Reply 39):
I grew up in a very conservative church that used to denounce homosexuality as a sin, and in a way it was a similar experience to being in a program like exodus. I grew up hating myself, uncomfortable with the thoughts in my head, and praying to God every night to make straight...now, I thank Him that he didn't answer my stupid prayer, instead gave me a chance to accept myself for who I am. Perhaps 20 years down the road we'll look back and laugh at our ridiculous "gay conversion" programs!

me too! only not christian, but islam. When i was little, i was told that sinners would be boiled to death in a big container, and gays would be used as the wood for fire... ouch!

Im still lucky though, my family has accepted me for what i am.
i believe that beauty is skin deep, and my skin is very deep!!
 
Charles79
Posts: 1119
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:35 pm

RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Fri Jun 22, 2007 1:14 pm

Quoting Airtebiong (Reply 40):
Im still lucky though, my family has accepted me for what i am.

I'm happy for you that they did!
 
ConcordeBoy
Posts: 16852
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2001 8:04 am

RE: "Ex-gay" Movement Losing Steam

Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:07 pm

I still believe that I got off rather "easy" as well... in the grand scheme of things.

Dude I went to school with Hal, who came out around the same time I did, saw his parents throw him out... his paternal grandparents also refused to take him in unless he "got help". He ended up finishing high school staying at a disadvantaged youth shelter (keep in mind that this is a boy who's previous most-dire daily concern was choosing between driving his coupe or his suv to school) and eventually one of our friends' parents took him in until he could get a dorm at LSU.

He's had no communication with his parents since 1999, even though they live less than 10mi from where he does now. The last thing he recalls his father telling him is that he'd sooner go to hell than have a faggot for a son. The most outstanding thing about this whole sad story-- if you met Hal, you'd probably think he was 1) straight and 2) just a typical well-balanced normal guy. Amazing how strong he turned out, with nearly no support from anyone since his late teen years.
Faire du ciel le plus bel endroit de la terre c'est impossible sans Concorde!

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