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ffis34
Topic Author
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Joined: Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:14 pm

Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:42 am

so a few days ago, a 20 year old, mike hung himself at a local public park. He had more issues then we could imagine, but always always always made sure everyone was happy and would go out of is his way to make sure of this. Just in the recent months he finally got his life to be content in his eyes, a solid job, 2 lead parts in 2 plays here in the tampa area went back to school to get his GED...so if everything was going so well why would he do this???

Anyways was well known in area for his acting ability and passion, although I didnt know him real well a friend of mine was heart broken and I spent then entire day with her, comforting her, trying to answer questions...It hit me, how do people decided to do this? the strength in someone to go through with such an act must be immense? but why? why would you just throw life away? I dont get it, and I am struggling with this part more then anything, and although my sympathy goes out to the family i wasnt affected by this as much as others, but i cant get over how you bring yourself to do this. If you have someone to talk to, he had tons, he was in programs to get over his depression, he had a solid family although not his biological just a friend and his parents who took him in and loved him, why would you throw it away, not saying goodbye, not leaving a reason, no why to recognize the body. WHY?

i needed to vent and i wanted to know what you think about it

thanks
brad
 
JGPH1A
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:53 am

Because sometimes it seems like it's the only way out, especially where you have got to the point of a depressive episode where you are even contemplating it in the first place. As soon as the thought enters your mind, it's often a steep spiral downhil from there. If you don't get help at that point, it's very hard to get back to where the world doesn't seem so bad after all.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
ajd1992
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:56 am

Quoting Ffis34 (Thread starter):
the strength in someone to go through with such an act must be immense? but why?

It is... one of my ex-friends (won't go into that...) tried it by slitting her wrists. She very nearly died of blood loss.

I can admit, I've seriously considered suicide. My mum died when i was 7 so i was always sad about that, i was bullied pretty bad at school (mentally, which to me was far worse) because of my size (I was a really fat kid... not really any more but it still hurts me) and people used to be obsessed with thinking i was gay which was really depressing because i wasn't sure if i was at the time, i didn't need people saying anything about it because it was bad enough.

I guess it is a big deal but people will do it if their determined enough.
 
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AirPacific747
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 6:12 am

Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 2):

A little similar to me then.. Well my parents got divorced right after I was born. I got a stepmom which I have never been able to like and I still don't like her today, I was a fat kid too, and I was bullied for that and bullied during PE classes because I was slow at developing as a teenager. I got a girlfriend who I really loved, but after two years she broke up with me, which was actually the biggest blow to me yet, as I couldn't imagine a future without being together with her. That made me go into a depression which I am still suffering from a little bit today but it has gotten a lot better lately...
 
flyingbabydoc
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 6:12 am

Quoting Ffis34 (Thread starter):
needed to vent and i wanted to know what you think about it

There are many, many reasons why people would do something like that. It seems at first a rather coward act (i.e. "escape" from life), but it takes a lot of courage to actually do it - you go against one of your most primeval instincts, the instinct of survival.
Sometimes the reasons are pretty neurological, which means a chemical unbalance in the many neurotransmitters in the brain. Medication may sometimes help, but not necessarily always. Sometimes the reason is more psychological, and, like JGP1HA has said, you have to receive help rather soon before you reach a downward spiral that ends up in tragedy. Your friend was adopted, which might have created enormous issues for him that he was not able to address and overcome. Perhaps he felt rejected from his real family? not accepted by peers? who knows...
Sometimes, we simply have no explanation. And we must live with the tragedy of the loss, hoping that perhaps the lessons to be learned might help us to avoid similar situations in the future, when faced with other people with similar problems.

My condolences to the family. And to you, for he seemed to have been your friend. Now, if I may give you a piece of advice, do not dwell too much in trying to find a "meaning" if there is no apparent one - that only brings more pain to all involved.

Alex
Marriage is the art of turning a lover into a relative
 
jamesbuk
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Joined: Mon May 02, 2005 11:52 pm

RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 6:25 am

Quoting AirPacific747 (Reply 3):
That made me go into a depression which I am still suffering from a little bit today but it has gotten a lot better lately...

Dude seriously.. you have my MSN (as you know) and I'm always here for you! If you feel a bit sad then come on msn and I will drop everything for you and talk to ya and help you as much as I possibly can.  Smile

To be honest I think it is natural to feel/consider suicide sometimes... lets face it everyone gets a bit upset sometimes that they see the only way out is death but most people can get through it.

rgds --James--
You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
 
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AirPacific747
Posts: 9848
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 9:52 am

RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 6:28 am

Quoting Jamesbuk (Reply 5):

Dude seriously.. you have my MSN (as you know) and I'm always here for you! If you feel a bit sad then come on msn and I will drop everything for you and talk to ya and help you as much as I possibly can.

Thanks..  Smile
 
Doona
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 6:35 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 1):
Because sometimes it seems like it's the only way out

Yup. Which, in my uninformed opinion, is why suicide is the main cause of death for teens in the country. I'm not saying all teenagers who commit suicide are stupid, but they certainly have less experience in dealing with serious issues than adults. Younger kids usually have their parents, but when you're a teenager you're often inte the process of shedding off the protection that parents provide and therefore might feel more alone than you actually are.

Cheers
Mats
Sure, we're concerned for our lives. Just not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a roundtrip to Ft. Myers.
 
ShyFlyer
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 6:56 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 1):
If you don't get help at that point, it's very hard to get back to where the world doesn't seem so bad after all.

Exactly! You can think of depression like quick sand. The longer you go without help, the harder it will be for you to be extricated from the situation.


What many people don't understand about depression is that it is painful, not just emotionally but physically as well. At a certain point, that pain becomes too much to deal with, then the desire to get away from the pain overrides one's basic survival instincts. The key once again to get help before that happens. Since eveyone has different coping skills, one person may go from happy go lucky to suicidal in a matter of days, while another person may not get to that point for many months, or years even.
I lift things up and put them down.
 
jafa39
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:41 pm

Quoting Ffis34 (Thread starter):
i needed to vent and i wanted to know what you think about it

You'll never fully understand it, some people get lower than you or I could imagine.

I had a friend kill himself last year, he saw himself as a failure and that he was worthless to anyone and they would be better off without him....nothing would convince him otherwise (he was a hell of a nice bloke) and no meds helped in the slightest.

I just assume that some people are sensitive to such a degree that they just can't go on. I know I work at blotting out some things that get to me, not everyone can do that.
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HAWK21M
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:53 pm

It depends on the Individual,their inner strength & how they can cope up with pressures.
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
trekster
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RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:58 pm

We all have our own problems. No one can say they dont have something bad in there life.

Im greatfull I have some, well 1 very close friend, and alot of great mates to talk to and annoy when time gets a little tough. Even though i may have a few problems, I will still do anything to help a friend, and will talk and listen for how ever long it takes till there OK again.

I relaly do hope I never stoop that low, as i know I will have someone to talk to if it ever gets that bad, but for some people the pressure just gets to much, and there is nothing that can be done to help, no matter what  Sad
Where does the time go???
 
CAMPBELL
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 8:26 pm

RE: Suicide....why?

Thu Aug 30, 2007 11:49 am

My father committed suicide due to poor health and his quality of life had pretty much imploded. I was notified by my mother while getting ready to return to South Carolina from Hill AFB, Utah where I was staying with friends. Off to SLC, pay excess baggage charges, go thur security and board N845MH for my flight to ATL and watch the movie "Rumor Has It" with no earphones and contemplate what had just happened with the family. Dad pretty much had it all planned out, left mom a letter (They were married 48 years) and went on the front porch and shot himself in the temple. Dad was a retired Air Force Master Sergeant and I was notified in June that I had made the Air Force Master Sergeant promotion list.
 
flyingbabydoc
Posts: 1059
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 6:12 pm

RE: Suicide....why?

Thu Aug 30, 2007 8:24 pm

Quoting CAMPBELL (Reply 12):
My father committed suicide due to poor health and his quality of life had pretty much imploded.

I am very sorry to hear that. My condolences to you and your family.

This is not an uncommon scenario. Many patients who are afflicted with terminal or severely disabling diseases to contemplate suicide at one point or another. Not so many actually go through with their plans, but sometimes the loss of quality-of-life is just too much for them to cope. The problem is, this is the one situation we can seldom do anything against.

Again, my sympathy to you.

Alex
Marriage is the art of turning a lover into a relative
 
AGM100
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RE: Suicide....why?

Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:51 am

The only thing that may push me over the edge would be the death of my kids. (all of them). I hear from time to time about parents who lose their children in a car accident of something. Every time I hear these kind of stories I wonder how the parent can go on living. I really do not think I could motivate myself to exist if I had to bear that memory everyday.

That kind of tragedy IMO may be a valid excuse .
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CaptOveur
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RE: Suicide....why?

Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:02 am

This is going to sound cold. But at least he succeeded. I think the only thing worse than a successful suicide is a failed attempt.

It may look like the only way out to someone, and if they really, truly feel that way they succeed at killing themselves. The people I absolutely hate are the ones who try suicide as a way of getting help or just attention. I have come across more than a few of them in my life and those are the people who totally disgust me.

I can understand it in the case of terminal illness or something else where living might far worse.
Things were better when it was two guys in a dorm room.
 
don81603
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RE: Suicide....why?

Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:09 am

When my sister commited suicide in 1988, it was the culmination of a life gone bad.

She was diagnosed at age 30 with a degenerative bone disease (can't recall the name, but it did a number on her). By this time, she had blown through college and university courses to become a CPA. She had such a mind for numbers, that she could do the calculations in her head as fast as you could throw them at her. Then the disease took over, and over the course of a few years her bones disintigrated to the point that she slipped on some grass, and shattered her femur so bad the doctors could do nothing to repair it. From that day on, she was in a full leg cast and a wheelchair. She had also had both hips replaced, and all the knuckles in both of her hands. She couldn't use a pencil, pen, or even dress herself. The problem for her was, her mind was still just as sharp, but she couldn't get her body to do anything. She lived on a diet of pain killers and coffee (needed both hands to hold the mug) until her weight dropped to the point she was admitted to the hospital (32 years old, 98 lbs). Upon her release, she moved in with mom and dad, which she hated, as she was always very independant. A few weeks later, he took all of her pain killers, and that was the end of it. The autopsy revealed enough pain killers in her system to kill a horse. To this day, while I can understand her reasons, I can't understand why. She had a massive support system in place, but she just decided enough was enough, I guess.

RIP Dianne.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
 
ADXMatt
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RE: Suicide....why?

Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:22 pm

Quoting Ffis34 (Thread starter):
he was in programs to get over his depression

He had depression

When your problems/depression is worse then your coping skills this can happen.


Try to remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

It is always sad when a young person takes their life.
 
steve6666
Posts: 491
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RE: Suicide....why?

Sat Sep 01, 2007 2:43 am

My boyfriend hung himself on 2 April this year and died in hospital two days later. He was 23 years old.

Symon also had issues going back decades - and not to trivialise anyone else's experiences of bullying - we're not talking about short term name calling over weight/sexuality/whatever, we're dealing with long term physical and sexual abuse from his father and first long term boyfriend. In the big picture therefore, I know why, and I suspect therefore that the issues that Mike had will give you the big picture as to why he did it. Why Sy waited until 2 April 2007, when his life also seemed to be looking up, we will never really know, and acceptance of that is really hard.

I spent yesterday, once again, sat on a plane for 12 hours sobbing over Sy, and I really cannot think of anything in my life that will give me any great pleasure again. The difference between Sy and me is that Sy was very damaged and - so I am told - that damage destroys any boundaries a person may have. So, although I have done an inventory of all the painkillers I have at home (it's a lot, due to various bits of surgery over the years) I am not massively damaged and I know I don't have the balls to do anything about it. For Sy, hanging himself was just one more bit of physical abuse.

One website I've found useful is Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide. You can find it through google or any other search engine.
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MCOflyer
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RE: Suicide....why?

Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:50 am

I had tried it but failed and my parents prevented me from doing that. When my moms died, it was total blow to me because I was a mamma's boy and I had barley gotten to know my birth mom.. I went everywhere with her with my adoptive mom. My dad got me the proper help and today I live a great life. I work with good people and have a great support system. Do not attempt suicide because it will drive away those around you.

Hunter
Never be afraid to stand up for who you are.
 
aa757first
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RE: Suicide....why?

Sat Sep 01, 2007 12:07 pm

Quoting Ffis34 (Thread starter):
He had more issues then we could imagine, but always always always made sure everyone was happy and would go out of is his way to make sure of this. Just in the recent months he finally got his life to be content in his eyes, a solid job, 2 lead parts in 2 plays here in the tampa area went back to school to get his GED...so if everything was going so well why would he do this???

Depression isn't caused just by social issues. No one fully understands all of the factors that make someone depressed, but there are biological factors that contribute to the problem too.

And, sadly, someone with depression so severe that they're considering suicide probably can't fully think about a decision like that. Just like a heart attack prevents the heart from working correctly, depression prevents the brain from working correctly.

Fortunately, less of a stigma surrounds depression today and medicine and therapy make it much easier to treat than before. Unfortunately, people still commit suicide everyday.

I'm very sorry to hear about this and your friend's loss.
 
milan320
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:25 pm

RE: Suicide....why?

Sat Sep 01, 2007 5:44 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 1):
Because sometimes it seems like it's the only way out, especially where you have got to the point of a depressive episode where you are even contemplating it in the first place.

Agreed, to some extent. I lost the love of my life in April of this year. The morning of her accident we decided on getting married next year - so unofficially we got engaged. After her accident she spent 2 weeks in a coma and died on my birthday. Sometimes it seems doing yourself in is the only way out and believe me I thought about it. But at the same time, seeing how her family suffered while she was in a coma realised that it really is a selfish act. My girlfriend didn't make a conscious decision to die, yet when you do it consciously and consciously hurt your family and friends then many people can suffer because of your actions. That said, if I had no family nor close friends, I would have probably killed myself in the weeks following her death. But I realized that I can show my love for her in many other ways now. I spend a lot of time with her family and they need me as much as I need them.

I admit though in many ways I've also been lucky. My employer has sent me to a crisis therapist, and my family and my girlfriends family are the most wonderful people in the world and we all stick together, at least as best we can, as we're all in the same boat.

/Milan320
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LASoctoberB6
Posts: 1936
Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 4:23 pm

RE: Suicide....why?

Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:04 am

my brother did it almost 4 years ago, September 12, 2003.... we buried him on his 19th birthday, October 1st that year, but 17 days before my birthday... i was trying not to think of it just yet, but...
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SA7700
Posts: 2930
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2003 9:38 pm

RE: Suicide....why?

Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:30 am

My sister did it 399 days ago, on July 30, 2006. We buried her on a snowy day, a few days later. She had so much going for her, but unbeknown to us, had been diagnosed with major depression. Almost 400 days after her death, the questions still remain…


SA7700
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