Well, It went out with a bang.

Apparently someone I considered a best friend told me she thought it would be best if we were not friends anymore    ... She told me I was distracting her from her studies, and that she didn't want to lose her parents (who hate my guts and would shit a brick if they knew we had been talking). So my best friend chewed her out, but surprisingly, I have not shed a tear over it. I don't know if it is because I agree with her, or if it is because of the hurtful things she has said recently. Either way, Our friendship is obviously over. She's a good person, but is a little misguided on how things work in life. I was talking to another friend of mine, who is a member here (although she isn't very active here), and she kept me laughing for some odd reason talking about Random things. I will admit that losing this friend really sucks, but I guess if she feels it is for the best, that's the way its gotta be.

The thing that sucks is I did EVERYTHING for this friend. Granted, she told me she appreciated it all, including buying her book for her class so that she would not fail, sending her money, and items here and there (she is a nursing student), and I did everything I knew how to do to be a friend. When she would go out and get herself distracted, I would harp her that she should be studying instead, and then I get this.

I'm sure a lot of you will say she was not much of a friend, but she was a pretty good friend to me for a while. She did help me out on a lot of things, but I guess the thing that confuses me, is why she did this.

Either way, I'm announcing it to the world that does not care, and you all can feel free to post Cargo Bays, and Give-a-damns.

I guess what I may need to know is why I am not sad about this? Shouldn't I be depressed, or a little upset over this? Is there something missing? Are my feelings burned out?

I have a feeling that what you felt for her was more than friendship. Spending money on women is usually a sign of being (or wanting to be) more than friends. I know, I've been there. Problem is, money can't buy love (or even friendship).

As to your lack of grief after this episode, I've seen it work both ways. I once broke up with a girlfriend and was expecting to feel crushed, but instead felt a tremendous sense of liberation and relief. Guess your true feelings for someone sometimes aren't clear until the relationship is over.

In any case, best wishes...

Quoting RNOcommctr (Reply 1): I have a feeling that what you felt for her was more than friendship.

The way she talked to me sometimes, I never felt more than friendship. At one point, a long time ago, I did, but as of the recent 8 months or so, Nah ah. She was usually quick to apologize, but the money I spent on her was mostly for her needs (a college student who has no job or source of income, so I helped her out). But sometimes, she was quick to apologize. however, these past couple of months, she talked to me as if I was dirt, and expected me to forgive her. The past few days before this happened, she accused me of using her, and I think that was the final nail in the coffin. I think I may feel a sense of relief, because honestly, if she had not severed contact, it would have been a matter of days before I would have.

I was supposed to go see her in WI for a week, among some other friends of mine, but I felt the strongest urge to cancel it, and part of me didn't want to kick her to the curb, and the other part of me was waiting for her to screw up, so I would actually have a valid, instead of a bullshit reason. All feelings aside, I do not wish to speak or even hear from her again. This is the second time this has happened, and I intend to see that there is no third time 

You just got burned man. You sound like you were a tool of hers. Spending money and not getting anything back? That's pretty bad man. I can't help but laugh that you sent her money. That's hilarious!

Just admit you were a tool and move on.

Quoting Copaair737 (Reply 3): You just got burned man. You sound like you were a tool of hers.

Yeah, Well.. I am generally a nice person, and try to be nice to everyone... Mistake #1

Quoting Copaair737 (Reply 3): Spending money and not getting anything back?

Mistake 2: I do that everytime I buy something at the liquor store  

Quoting Copaair737 (Reply 3): I can't help but laugh that you sent her money.

Yeah Yeah, Laugh it up.. At least it won't happen again  

Quoting Francoflier (Reply 4):

I'm serious when I say I have not shed a tear over it. I will admit it kind of sucks, but instead of being upset about it, I went out and bought a whole bunch of new shit. Bikes, GPS devices, Shoes, Horns, Tusks, A Proboscis.. Ok, maybe not a proboscis. LOL!

Francoflier

Quoting Francoflier (Reply 4): You're welcome...

You are da MAN!

I am still laughing.

BR715-A1-30 for someone as young as you are you do have a whole lot of self induced drama in your life.

Quoting BR715-A1-30 (Reply 6): I'm serious when I say I have not shed a tear over it. I will admit it kind of sucks, but instead of being upset about it, I went out and bought a whole bunch of new shit. Bikes, GPS devices, Shoes, Horns, Tusks, A Proboscis.. Ok, maybe not a proboscis. LOL!

Hard to say. Was this a sudden thing out of the blue or deep down did you see the handwriting on the wall? That may be a partial explanation. Secondly, you mentioned above this is the second time this has happened. I'm not surprised you may be feeling a bit numb and detached at this stage. Don't be surprised, however, if this boils to the surface at a later time.

I guess the thing to remember is the patently obvious: relationships are messy. They require you to put yourself out there and take the risk to be vulerable. Problem is, however, if you let youself be vulnerable, you also take the risk of being hurt. Humans are social animals and as such we crave emotional intimacy. That is why we keep trying, but if you're hurt enough times we can become increasingly "gun-shy" wanting to control future relationships or not allowing yourself to feel vulnerable because of fear you are going to be hurt. If you are able to, talk about this with someone you trust you can be vulnerable with. That will help. Also, just give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling right now. Don't worry about how you think you should be feeling or what you are or are not doing, or worry about the compassionately challenged who have posted above. That too can become a trap. Just remember what a friend of mine once said, "Too many shoulds will give you the shits."

Charles, SJ

Quoting BR715-A1-30 (Reply 6): Yeah Yeah, Laugh it up.. At least it won't happen again

Judging by your other threads in Non-Av over the years, and if past is any indicator of the future, I don't think this will be the last time.

Quoting Luv2fly (Reply 7): BR715-A1-30 for someone as young as you are you do have a whole lot of self induced drama in your life.

Quoting Copaair737 (Reply 9): Judging by your other threads in Non-Av over the years, and if past is any indicator of the future, I don't think this will be the last time.

You should check out his Myspace bullitens he constantly sends out. WOW. The drama issues with friends and such was coming so fast and furious I had to take him off the friends list.

Quoting KROC (Reply 10): You should check out his Myspace bullitens he constantly sends out. WOW. The drama issues with friends and such was coming so fast and furious I had to take him off the friends list.

DOWN GOES BR! DOWN GOES BR! DOWN GOES BR!

Quoting BR715-A1-30 (Thread starter): Either way, I'm announcing it to the world that does not care

Why us? Why didn't you just spill it all to your mom?         

Quoting BR715-A1-30 (Thread starter): So my best friend chewed her out

Are you sure that was after she dumped you?  

Just to add a correction here.. This was not my girlfriend. I do not consider it being dumped. She was one of my best friends. One that I could tell almost anything to. Lucky for me, I didn't tell her too much. Not that I don't trust her, but gee.

There were quite a few of my other friends who even asked me why she and I weren't dating, and aside from her stubbornness, There was no way in Hell, MI that I would date her (at this point in either of our lives). She was only a friend, and look at how I got treated. Just imagine if we had been one step further.

Spill it to my mom? Why?

I spilled it on here because I was bored.

Quoting BR715-A1-30 (Reply 13): I spilled it on here because I was bored.

Here's to hoping you find another hobby before you next best friend sends you packing.

Quoting KROC (Reply 14): Here's to hoping you find another hobby before you next best friend sends you packing.

Dang ROC is pulling out all the stops.... Must be sleeping on the couch tonight or something  

Quoting BR715-A1-30 (Reply 13): I spilled it on here because I was bored.

I don't doubt the fact you may need to talk about these things. That being said however, you may be better off posting such things on Myspace or other outlets, or better yet talking to someone face to face. All posting here seems to accomplish is that it gives the trolls the pathetic satisfaction of using you to overstate the size of their penises.

Charles, SJ

Ever thought of helping yourself instead of helping others? It's ok to be selfish, for yourself, at times.

Quoting Aerobalance (Reply 17): Ever thought of helping yourself instead of helping others? It's ok to be selfish, for yourself, at times.

Yah, I realized that. A Lesson I learned too.

Quoting KROC (Reply 14): Here's to hoping you find another hobby before you next best friend sends you packing.

Don't be hating, KROC. Then again, all this, coming from the man who gave plenty of users here "The Shaft" over time.
I like Planes, Trains, and Automobiles for my hobby. Also, you say all of this as if this situation depresses me in some way..   

Quoting BR715-A1-30 (Reply 18): Don't be hating, KROC. Then again, all this, coming from the man who gave plenty of users here "The Shaft" over time. I like Planes, Trains, and Automobiles for my hobby. Also, you say all of this as if this situation depresses me in some way..

Bro. At least I'm using my shaft. From the blogs I saw of yours and all the bulletins, you have all the drama and problems of those of us in relationships...except you're still not getting laid. That leaves the door wide open my man. Oh and yeah, it depresses you. You're just trying to put up a front. Don't worry. We won't tell!