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andz
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:27 pm



Quoting Cgnnrw (Reply 48):
Schmidt-Meyer

That brings to mind another topic altogether.... German qualifications as part of the name. Such as: Prof. Dr. Dr. rer nat. Dr. Ing. Klaus von Schmitt-Trigger (okay this is an exaggeration but I have seen similar!)  Smile

Germans feel free to correct this!
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ScarletHarlot
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:19 pm



Quoting Falcon84 (Reply 39):
It mean that "we" were actually one. Not two checking accounts; not two sets of vactions; not two different last names, but one. She took my last name as a sign of honor and committment to me. And I took a vow to lover her above all others, and to, in my view, treat her as an equal.

When I hear the hyphenated name, or people who don't change their names at all, to me, I just think it is, in some ways, a sign that they aren't one in marriage, but somehow, they're still separate.

Many people are non-traditional in their marriage but that does not mean that they are any less committed to their partner and shared family. We often don't wear our rings but this has nothing to do with the state of our marriage.

What if someone had been in a bad marriage and had had all their assets drained by their spouse? Now imagine they are getting married again but are leery of pooling their assets. Would it not be even MORE of a marriage for the couple to work through it together, perhaps by having separate assets?

Names, money, vacations, rings are all just outer indicators of a marriage. Mutual respect and committment are what count.

Quoting Falcon84 (Reply 39):
I think it's a marital power trip for many people to keep a different name.

For me, I think it's a marital power trip for a man to bully his wife into taking his last name by questioning her committment to the marriage.
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desertjets
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:54 pm

Ultimately who takes what name is a personal choice and I see no reason to get cheesed up over it.


When the time comes and the GF and I make it official we discussed that she would keep her last name, and for very good reason. Because of her relationship with her biological parents and the fact that she was raised by her grandmother (eventually adopted by her) she decided several years ago to legally change her name to her gram's last name. Her attachment to the family name is now heightened by the fact that her gram passed away two years ago too. And frankly I have no problem with it either. Not to mention the fact that it is a cool name and makes her ethnic identity pretty clear.

As for kids we've agreed they would be hyphenated.
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AM744
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:03 pm

In general I like traditions, so if a was an American with deep roots on the country I'd kindly ask my wife to take my name. I guess it would be a bit demanding to explain everybody the rationale behind not following the conventions. I wouldn't have the patience for that.

Around here, names don't change, kids take both of the surnames. That's the norm, and it works beautifully.
 
767Lover
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:04 pm

Socially, and with new clients, I use my husband's last name solely, without my maiden name.

However, my email address and stationery still has my maiden name on it. I have some clients who drift in and out of my life and I left my maiden name for those who might not know I'm married, or what my married name is.

Thankfully, I don't attach my identity to my maiden name at all. No offense to my father or my father's family, but to me I am just "Lisa" (not my real name)...not "Lisa _____."

I was happy to take my husband's name, and I didn't even think twice about it. I have a lot of friends who either hyphenate or use their maiden name solely, but for me, it felt more comfortable to use my husband's. As a practical matter, his name is easier to spell and pronounce, and my maiden name is not.

Interesting side note: We had three women invited to our wedding who only used their maiden names and nothing of their husbands'---and all three women had the same first name.
 
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EA CO AS
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:07 pm



Quoting Scbriml (Reply 47):
Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 26):
But why do people have to make it into something ugly by suggesting it's tantamount to ownership and/or subjugation?

Because, historically, that's exactly what it was!

Certainly in the UK (and I believe the US), wives were basically their husband's chattel. They couldn't have a separate bank account, they couldn't complete any business or financial transaction or even travel without their husband's permission. A husband could even have his wife committed to a mental institution without any medical agreement whatsoever. To use the modern internet term, wives were PWNED.

Late to the party, are we? Your point was already made (and refuted) in reply 38:

Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 38):
Quoting Pyrex (Reply 35):
Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 26):
But why do people have to make it into something ugly by suggesting it's tantamount to ownership and/or subjugation?

Because it is. How do you think those things got started in the first place'

Correction - it WAS. And not only does it no longer hold any such meaning, it hasn't for centuries.

Case in point - if you're married and your wife has taken your last name, try telling her you now 'own' and 'subjugate' her and see how far you get.

"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan

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dvk
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:11 pm

To each his/her own. Personally, I find hyphenated names unwieldy, and prefer the simplicity of an uncomplicated last name. If I were a married woman, the choice for me would be to keep my maiden name or take my husband's name, but not to hyphenate. Again, though, that's just my  twocents  .
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vc10
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:39 pm

This might have been already answered , however if married couples go in for Hyphenated surnames then the children of that marriage will have this double barrelled name, and should the daughter get married then she would insist on a triple barrelled surname and as the generations go on so the surname would get longer. This is very handy if you want to trace your family history as every family name would be recorded , but it would not be very easy to use

littlevc10
 
slider
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:50 pm

I'll probably get flamed as a zealot if I speak my mind on this one.

To each his own I guess, but the sacredness of a name means a great deal to most cultures. How they are formed, changed and combined through marriage is a matter of religious and cultural traditions and I can respect whatever people want to do.

Whether people stay married or divorce, whatever, is one thing, but I think the unity of a couple typically dictates (and Biblically speaking) a woman should relinquish her name.
 
N1120A
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:00 pm



Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 38):
And not only does it no longer hold any such meaning, it hasn't for centuries.

Centuries? It is still legal to rape your wife in some US states.
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cytz_pilot
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:21 pm



Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 3):
I had my own identity and my own family name before I was married. Why should I give that up?

Very true. In the months leading up to our wedding, my wife was in university and going through textbooks about the renaissance and in particular a woman's role in society - how she was nothing but the sum of her man. She came to me one evening and said she didn't feel she could morally take my name, because of what the connotation is (ie the woman becoming a man's property).

I was taken aback but the more I thought about it, the more I thought - the only problem I had with it was breaking tradition. Now - tradition is doing something simply because it's what has always been done...not doing something because there is an actual logical reason for it.

We talked about both hyphenating but we just kept our own last names. Our son took both names though.
 
tsaord
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:31 pm

It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or what opinions they have. When two people get married any decisions they make as a married couple if their own business and right since they are together. Its for them to work out. So really the peanut gallery needs to let married couples do them and worry about their "traditions" when they marry someone. You don't want opinions thrown at what you and your wife/husband decide to do in your marriage.
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scbriml
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:43 pm



Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 55):
Late to the party, are we? Your point was already made (and refuted) in reply 38:

I'm a slow typist, but my point was perfectly valid. As for your refutation, for many women the taking of the man's name still has a stigma attached because of the history associated with the practice.
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N1120A
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:15 pm



Quoting Slider (Reply 58):
but I think the unity of a couple typically dictates (and Biblically speaking) a woman should relinquish her name.

Why should a woman do so? Why not the man?
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TylerDurden
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:28 pm



Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 1):
To make it clear, I often use Scarlet O'Hara-Harlot.

That is, by far...THE BEST...Southern name I have every heard.

Georgia should adopt you. People will never know if it's a name...or a description.
 Smile
 
ronglimeng
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:29 pm

I've always felt that hyphenated names were annoying and pretenious. It often seems in British comedy that if you are creating a character who is a pompous ass, you give him a double-barrelled name.

When my wife and I were married, she changed her last name to mine, in spite of my preference that she did not. I think as a modern couple we should have our own unique names.
 
kmh1956
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:10 pm

Ok, here's a novel idea...how about when folks get married if they just swap surnames? The husband takes the wife's maiden name and the wife takes the husband's last name....how's that for partnership and cooperation?
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
 
Falcon84
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:32 pm



Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 51):
What if someone had been in a bad marriage and had had all their assets drained by their spouse? Now imagine they are getting married again but are leery of pooling their assets. Would it not be even MORE of a marriage for the couple to work through it together, perhaps by having separate assets?

Again, to me, that's just pre-planning for another divorce, so it doesn't get 'messy". Again, as far as I'm concerned, when you get married, the old phrase "they will travel on to where the two shall be as one" comes to my mind. You're a team, then, not sepearate, in that light. What is mine is hers, what is hers is mine.

I just think it's a way to make things easy if one or both feel "well, this isn't for me, so we'll split".

Sorry, but that's how I view it.

And, I've never taken my ring off in 21 years.  Smile

Quoting AM744 (Reply 53):
In general I like traditions, so if a was an American with deep roots on the country I'd kindly ask my wife to take my name.

I never had to worry about it, so it wasn't an issue. But had it been one, would I have seen it as a problem. Quite possibly yes. If it came along with "well, I want my own checking account, my own credit cards...", blah blah blah, I'd have given a second thought to the marriage.
Work Right, Fly Hard
 
tsaord
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:27 am

In the Bible it states that the woman takes the last name of the man and he is the head of the household. Not saying that the woman is a servant. Now I go to church and women there take their husbands last name since they are one family and run their family's according to Bible or at least try to without any problems. Again it depends on what the MARRIED couple wants to do and what traditions are associated with them. It is for them to decide. There are probably over a thousand reasons why because each couple is different. Many celebrities don't share last names because of name recognition. Or they do the hyphen like Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith. She was known before she married him but she kept her name and took his for reason's they settled on. Their children have his last name.
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Falcon84
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:34 am

I do understand it for professional reason. I have a cousin who is an actress and musician, and her husband has had success on his own. She keeps her maiden name for stage and music, but I know she takes his name on a non-professional level.

That I can deal with. I just don't like the whole hyphenated name thing, or not taking the husband's name in any way, shape or form.
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SlamClick
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:42 am

No woman married to me would keep her hyphen!
In fact I wouldn't even care if she still had it when we met.
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tsaord
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:43 am



Quoting Falcon84 (Reply 69):
That I can deal with. I just don't like the whole hyphenated name thing, or not taking the husband's name in any way, shape or form.

Well if you plan on getting married then you work that out with whoever lol.


I read a story in the Chicago Sun Times about a man who had a wife that was just off the page about the name thing. She said "since women do all the work carrying and giving birth to a child then the child/ren should have the mothers last name. But they worked out something where the children did the hyphen. But he found out they when she took them to participate in out door activities that she left his last name off completely lol. So she went back on her word and he wanted to know what to do. Now that I though was bizarre.
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Falcon84
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:47 am



Quoting Tsaord (Reply 70):
Well if you plan on getting married then you work that out with whoever lol.

Been married 20 years, so there was nothing to work out.  Smile
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Pyrex
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:34 am



Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 44):
Does it affect you? No.

Does it affect your family or friends? No.

Does it affect Falcon84 if women hyphenate or don't use their husband's name? No. Yet I don't see you calling him out...

Quoting MD-90 (Reply 46):
Reading it gives the impression that the woman in the relationship is worth much less than the man.

That is the point of the whole name-taking thing.

Quoting VC10 (Reply 57):
but it would not be very easy to use

Why not? This whole notion that people are simply defined by their father's identity is an anglo-saxon one. People in other countries routinely have more than two last names without any problem whatsoever.

Quoting Slider (Reply 58):
(and Biblically speaking) a woman should relinquish her name.

Well then, if a book written a couple of thousands of years ago by a group of guys in the Middle East says women should subjugate themselves to their husbands then it must be correct.  Yeah sure I just love the way people pick and choose the passages they want to support the points they happen to be defending at that moment.
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MD11Engineer
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:37 am

German chancellor Merkel kept her maiden name. She had a career before she got married (to a successfull university professor), and got known under her maiden name. Changing the name would probably confuse many voters.

Jan
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JJJ
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:00 am

Around here nobody ever changes names.

Before the 50s old snotty types used to add "Señora de XX" to indicate to whom they were married.

Hyphenated names here are an indication that someone wanted their 2nd surname to survive the 2nd generation.
 
andz
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:03 am



Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 66):
swap surnames

That would only have implications for the man, under traditional convention.

BTW my wife's maiden name was Loots, which is Afrikaans for Pilot  Smile
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Revelation
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:29 am



Quoting Kent350787 (Reply 20):
But the name change or otherwise was always her choice, and she is strongly against the sense of "ownership" or "subjugation" it can suggest.

What about the sense of "union" it can suggest?

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 28):
Now, one thing I CANNOT stand is being called Mrs. Bob Harlot. Dear Lord! Call me Mrs. Scarlet Harlot if you wish, but I am not defined solely as my husband's wife. Wedding invitations usually cheese me off for this reason - "Mr. and Mrs. Bob Harlot". Arrgh!

Take one for the team!  Smile

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 28):
User currently offline ScarletHarlot From Canada, joined exactly 5 years ago today! ,

Happy A.net Anniversary, Scarlet Harlot!

Quoting Pyrex (Reply 35):
And what commitment have YOU shown to the marriage?

One thing I've seen is both people choosing an entirely different last name, one that neither had before the marraige, one that to them gives a name to their union. If I ever felt close enough to someone to get married again, that is one avenue I'd persue. To be honest, once I explained it to my family, I think they'd have no problem with it. A marraige to me is the creation of a new family, and to me it's good that the new family has a new name.

Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 66):
Ok, here's a novel idea...how about when folks get married if they just swap surnames? The husband takes the wife's maiden name and the wife takes the husband's last name....how's that for partnership and cooperation?

I like the "let's pick out a new name together" approach better.
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ltbewr
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:47 am

I have worked for law firms and with lawyers for almost 29 years. I have seen a relative few female attorneys go for hypenated names. They did so as acquired their law degree, their initial licence to practice and their early careers under their maiden names and want to reduce confusion as to their professional history. Of course, it creates issues when there is a divorce, one will have to apply for a legal name change, name entries in some (older) computer programs and so on.
 
tsaord
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:51 am



Quoting JJJ (Reply 75):

Before the 50s old snotty types used to add "Señora de XX" to indicate to whom they were married.

Hold that thought. When I started learning Spanish a year ago it gave me a phrase "La senora de Fernandez" to refer to a married woman in polite form. Are you saying its outdated? The only other time I heard that phrase was on youtube watching the new President of Argentina make her speech. They added "de Kirchner".
there are icons, then there are legends, then there is rick flair
 
JJJ
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:04 pm



Quoting Tsaord (Reply 79):

Hold that thought. When I started learning Spanish a year ago it gave me a phrase "La senora de Fernandez" to refer to a married woman in polite form. Are you saying its outdated?

In European Spanish it certainly is. Outside of nobility and such no one will say 'señora de -surname-' but her actual name. If you want to stress the relationship name + surname then 'esposa de' sounds better.
 
texan
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:42 pm



Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 21):
Disagree if you wish - people are certainly entitled to their own opinions on this - but to many, the tradition of taking the husband's name and no longer using the maiden name is a sign of honoring the husband and his family.

See, I've just always felt that by agreeing to put up with me for the rest of my life she would be honoring both me and my family  Wink

In all honesty, I understand your points but do just happen to disagree. The important thing for me is simply that we love each other and will be there for each other. I don't expect her to change something as big as her name just to be with me. If she wants to change her name, fine (although I think that giving up one's name is partially giving up one's uniqueness and individuality so I will make sure that is what she wants to do). But if she doesn't, I'm even happier. Either that or we both hyphenate our names to show that the two of us and our families are coming together. Well, that and it would piss off Falcon to no end!

Oh, and my mom did not take my dad's name when they married way back when.

Texan
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Analog
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:34 pm



Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 28):
Now, one thing I CANNOT stand is being called Mrs. Bob Harlot. Dear Lord! Call me Mrs. Scarlet Harlot if you wish, but I am not defined solely as my husband's wife. Wedding invitations usually cheese me off for this reason - "Mr. and Mrs. Bob Harlot". Arrgh!

That kind of thing really bugs me. It's bad enough if it's Mr. & Mrs. John Smith, but when it's Mrs. John Smith... that's just crazy.

Although it could be quite funny: Mrs. Analog has a different last name, so she could refer to herself as Dr. MyFirstName Analog and I could also call myself Dr. MyFirstName Analog (well, when I finish the defense). As of now she's the only Dr.
 
N1120A
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:33 am



Quoting Analog (Reply 82):

Although it could be quite funny: Mrs. Analog has a different last name, so she could refer to herself as Dr. MyFirstName Analog and I could also call myself Dr. MyFirstName Analog (well, when I finish the defense). As of now she's the only Dr.

Here is something even more funny. Lawyers generally don't refer to themselves as Doctor, unless they also have a Ph.D, S.JD or some other doctoral degree. A friend of mine from law school, on the other hand, decided to do it just because he was tired of getting letters addressed to "Mr. and Dr. Classmate". See, his wife is an ER doctor.
Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
 
slider
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:02 pm



Quoting N1120A (Reply 63):
Why should a woman do so? Why not the man?

Tsaord nailed the response.

Quoting Pyrex (Reply 73):
Well then, if a book written a couple of thousands of years ago by a group of guys in the Middle East says women should subjugate themselves to their husbands then it must be correct. I just love the way people pick and choose the passages they want to support the points they happen to be defending at that moment.

I’m sorry, I must have missed the part where there was a statute of limitations of God’s word. Maybe you can show me where that sunset provision is.

And perhaps you can cite where I’ve ever “picked and chose” Biblical reference or Scriptures selectively to support a point. If anything, and I’ve made my personal battle over the death penalty quite clear, I’ve come round to not being as pro-capital punishment because of being more attune to the teachings of Jesus.
 
A342
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:14 pm



Quoting N1120A (Reply 12):
Actually, my friends did something like this. When they got married, they both changed their last names to her name - his name

As did one of my former teachers. He is mow married for the third time and has changed his last name at least twice. The reason he did it this time: He didn't want to be reminded of his ex all the time!
Exceptions confirm the rule.
 
MaidensGator
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:53 pm



Quoting N1120A (Reply 83):

Here is something even more funny. Lawyers generally don't refer to themselves as Doctor, unless they also have a Ph.D, S.JD or some other doctoral degree.

That reminded me of a lawyer I litigated against. The guy had been a surgeon for about 25 years, retired and went to law school. He signed everything Joe Blow, M.D., Esquire. He was a pompous jerk...

So far as the married names....

My wife was a widow for 15 years before we met. She's Canadian, so her passport read something like Rita Sharon Blake. Blake was her former husband's name. We got married and applied for her green card as Rita Sharon Stone. While the green card was pending, she got a Florida DL as Rita Sharon Stone. So her passport and DL had different names. USCIS told her that her legal name was Rita Sharon Stone and to use that name. So while the green card was pending, we got plane tickets using Rita S. Blake-Stone, to explain why her ID's had two different names. Surprisingly, TSA never had a problem with it. Now she has the green card and just uses Rita Sharon Stone. I thought she might want to keep using Blake since that is her son's name, but she didn't. Lost in all this was Owens, her maiden name...

(All names used as examples are pseudonyms)  Cool
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
 
AM744
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:19 pm



Quoting Tsaord (Reply 79):
Hold that thought. When I started learning Spanish a year ago it gave me a phrase "La senora de Fernandez" to refer to a married woman in polite form. Are you saying its outdated? The only other time I heard that phrase was on youtube watching the new President of Argentina make her speech. They added "de Kirchner".

Presidents' wives are customarily referred to in that way. It is also used by some people in certain situations, it's not completely outdated, but its use is nowadays confined to certain niches.

Quoting JJJ (Reply 80):
If you want to stress the relationship name + surname then 'esposa de' sounds better.

Great option for day to day speech.
 
huskyaviation
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:31 pm



Quoting LTBEWR (Reply 78):
I have worked for law firms and with lawyers for almost 29 years. I have seen a relative few female attorneys go for hypenated names. They did so as acquired their law degree, their initial licence to practice and their early careers under their maiden names and want to reduce confusion as to their professional history. Of course, it creates issues when there is a divorce, one will have to apply for a legal name change, name entries in some (older) computer programs and so on.

I have no female colleagues in my office that have hyphenated names--approx. 35 female attorneys. They've either adopted their husband's name before they were admitted to the bar, or they've used their maiden name if they were married after. One former colleague changed her name after she had been practicing for 7 years, but it is comparatively rare.

I've heard that it's somewhat difficult to go through the process of registering a married name with the NY bar, and it's damn near a nightmare to do it with the DC bar.

Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 13):
What about him taking your name? It seems just as important to you as it was to him, all traditions aside.

I've never thought about that issue--my partner and I are not legally married, but I've always assumed we'd both keep our given surnames, since we're both established professionally. We do joke that our dogs have hyphenated last names though  Smile
 
Analog
Posts: 1193
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RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:15 pm

One thing that's surprised me about having different last names is that the Mrs. (Dr.?) & I have never been asked to provide evidence of being married, even when our IDs had us living in different states, with different nationalities, etc.
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:46 pm



Quoting TylerDurden (Reply 64):
Georgia should adopt you. People will never know if it's a name...or a description.

I did spend a lot of time in Georgia when Delta Air Lines was my client. I learned how to say "thank yeeeeeeew" and "fraaahd chick'n". I don't like sweet tea or grits, though, so I suspect Georgia would never quite accept me.  Smile

Quoting SlamClick (Reply 71):
No woman married to me would keep her hyphen!
In fact I wouldn't even care if she still had it when we met.

Slammer, that is TERRIBLE!! (I LOL'd, though...  Smile )
But that was when I ruled the world
 
lincoln
Posts: 3133
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 11:22 pm

RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Fri Jul 25, 2008 1:11 am



Quoting MaidensGator (Reply 86):
Surprisingly, TSA never had a problem with it. Now she has the green card and just uses Rita Sharon Stone

Aparently your travels didn't take you through DTW.

True story:

For the reasons listed above, no boarding pass has my true legal name on them, it's usually KINGCLIBY/LINCOLN or some variation.

I was doing an interline itinerary with SAN-ATL-DTW-CVG-SAN on DL and DTW-PLN-DTW on NW -- at the time NW and DL were in separate terminals at DTW (DL in Smith, NW in the McNamera). On the flight back, the NW (Mesaba) agent in PLN issued boarding passes for all segments, on, of course, NW-branded stock.

So I get to DTW, exit security, take the interterminal shuttle and get in line for security at the Smith terminal.

The #1 TSA dude starts getting excited and tells me that I'm in the wrong terminal and I have to leave, etc., etc.; I pointed out the "DL xxxxx" flight number and explained that the "DL" stood for Delta... then he starts examining my ID and boarding pass and literally starts shreaking that the names don't mats and I'm in the wrong terminal (aparently King-Cliby and KINGCLIBY is a huge difference, after all there are so many of us Clibys, let alone King-Clibys on this planet).

Supervisor comes over and starts with the "wrong terminal" thing, so I point out the DL flight number again (by this point I'm thinking it would be easier to go over to the DL counter, and get a replacement BP) and he understands, but the other guy starts shreaking about the names not matching again... supervisor takes a look and decides that it is, after all, close enough.

Lincoln
CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
 
duke
Posts: 1177
Joined: Tue Sep 21, 1999 9:52 pm

RE: Women Taking Hyphenated Names When Married

Sat Aug 02, 2008 7:46 pm

Hyphenated names may work for some. I find them cumbersome. I dislike the fact that so many women in today's world take their husband's name, or at least hyphenate it, but almost no men take their husband's name! I think it's sexist. Many women do keep their surname, but their kids almost always get the father's name, or else an impractical hyphenated name. If I ever get married, I plan to take my wife's name (I may keep my surname as a middle name, but would not hyphenate it).

I think that it's good that parents and children all have the same surname, but would consider the spouses' keeping or not keeping their surnames a matter of choice. However, I think that men should be no more entitled to their wives/children their taking surname than women should be entitled to their husbands/children taking theirs. Seriously, I wish more women would suggest this to their fiances. It's the 21st century, wake up, women are no longer their husbands' inferiors.

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