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AR385
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Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:14 am

I accompanied a high school friend of mine and the woman he is dating to the mall for some shopping. They asked me to go along. We were walking inside and suddenly another woman my friend and I knew from high school walks by, so I pointed her to my friend and we both stared in her direction.

So, this woman we are with, notices, turns around, and yells at my friend "Why are you staring at that woman? I´m with you and you are being totally disrespectful!"

Then, she slaps my friend across the face pretty hard. And my friend returned the favor.

I felt incredibly uncomfortable and had no idea what to do. After she sort of gathered her wits, she went off on her own.

I personally would not have returned the slap, but her slaping him was totally unjustifiable.

Is it ok to return it if you are the male?
 
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Tugger
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:32 am

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
Is it ok to return it if you are the male?

Sure, why not? We are not talking about an abusive situation, or a situation where the man just up and hits the woman. It is in response to an improper action in the first place by the woman.

Tugg
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HOMER71
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:37 am

To paraphrase the great Sean Connery: "It's not the worst thing to slap a woman..."
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airportugal310
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:58 am

If women women want to be considered equal to men, which I am all for of course (why wouldn't they be?), then it's only fair in this situation that if she slaps him for something as stupid as looking at another woman than he should be allowed to slap her back.

Quoting homer71 (Reply 2):
To paraphrase the great Sean Connery: "It's not the worst thing to slap a woman..."

To quote Goodfellas..."whats fair is fair"
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QFA380
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:06 am

I feel for your friend, he could have very well had the cops called on him and arrested in the mall.

While not discounting true victims of domestic violence, I think a large portion of domestic violence incidents follow a similar pattern as this with each side retaliating escalating, often initiated by the woman.

Without being a whiteknight, I think he should have just walked away, despite her being in the wrong. There is just too much risk for men to return to the favour.
 
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MillwallSean
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:06 am

A man never ever slaps or lays a hand on a woman or a child.
No if or buts.

gentlemen, some manners and chivalry should be left in this world.
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AR385
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:12 am

Quoting MillwallSean (Reply 5):
A man never ever slaps or lays a hand on a woman or a child.
No if or buts.

gentlemen, some manners and chivalry should be left in this world.

"
Great. This is where I wanted the discussion to go. Why? Why does a man never "ever slaps or lays a hand on a woman"

I would never do it. That´s just me. But why do you think this?
 
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:17 am

Quoting QFA380 (Reply 4):

They would have to arrest her too, no?
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:43 am

I probably wouldn't slap back as Chris Rock says "There is a reason to hit anyone just don't do it!!"

Quoting airportugal310 (Reply 3):
If women women want to be considered equal to men, which I am all for of course

I'm not speaking for all women and I am not sexist or a misogynist but I find that women want to be equal when it suits them. I think this would be a perfect example if the woman in case said that your friend was in the wrong for doing it back but feels they were completely justified in doing it to begin with.

The truth is she wasn't justified in doing it to being with

If men can't hit women (which I accept) then women can't hit men, simple as that.

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
Then, she slaps my friend across the face pretty hard. And my friend returned the favor.

It's a sign of an incredibly insecure girl and the slap is a huge red flag unless it was a play slap but as you are describing it she was probably pissed off and it was quite hard.

To all ladies out there us men are going to check out other women and there is nothing we can do to control it. When we stop doing it then it is time to get worried.

Quoting QFA380 (Reply 4):
While not discounting true victims of domestic violence, I think a large portion of domestic violence incidents follow a similar pattern as this with each side retaliating escalating, often initiated by the woman.

I think there is a lot of cases where the woman will physically attack a man (possibly with a object) and the man sucks it up and lets it be which is not a good thing.
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seb146
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:47 am

Quoting MillwallSean (Reply 5):
A man never ever slaps or lays a hand on a woman or a child.
No if or buts.

Women get away with a lot of abuse because of that.

If the woman hits first, all bets are off. If they are both sober and she wants to be the aggressor, fine. Give me a bruise or two and see how the cops treat her, since I have not a scratch on me.

Hit a woman first? Not a chance.

Probably not the same thing in some peoples' eyes but: My last boyfriend was smaller and younger than me. When he threw that first plate at me, that was when I decided he had no right to do that to me. Period. We both ended up with bruises and he left. And I never looked back.

Women have to know: Men look. Even in gay relationships, men look at other men AND women. So what? Looking is nothing. Acting on that impulse is something else. I know my partner (5+ years) looks at other men and women. I don't care because I Iook too. And he knows it. It is the nature of men. Get over it.
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Georgetown
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:48 am

I have to admit I'm disturbed and a bit shocked that there's those on here that somehow think it's ever okay to hit a woman. Maybe my opinion is hard line, but any man that slaps or otherwise brings any physical harm to a woman is actually a good step below worthless. Actually it's an insult to the word "worthless" to be in the same sentence with them. Can you imagine having to answer the question "when did you stop beating your wife?". There's no good answer to that.

Was it right for the girl to hit the guy here? Absolutely not. But for him to slap her back? Places him somewhere between pond scum and that white stuff that builds up in the corners of your mouth.
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:57 am

Equality is Equality in all aspects of life. That is what the feminist activists fought for. Every human being has the right to not be harmed by another, and the right to self defence. That is the only excuse for violence.

I would hit a female if she genuinely assaulted me first - I don't consider she did so in this scenario, but she certainly deserved to be dumped on the spot for being a jealous and violently insecure bitch. That kind of nonsense doesn't sit well with me, and that is what I would have done rather than hit back. If she overreacts like that in public, she could be dangerously psychotic behind closed doors and not worthy of my further attentions.
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vikkyvik
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:09 am

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
I personally would not have returned the slap

Nor would I.

However, in your shoes, I probably would have left their company right then and there. If it's a situation that warrants mediation or summoning the authorities, that's one thing. But even if not, I don't want to be around that crap....that goes for both of them.

Quoting tugger (Reply 1):
It is in response to an improper action in the first place by the woman.

I'm a firm believer in "two wrongs don't make a right". As much as it might be considered fair to slap the woman back, it is also escalating the situation, and that doesn't help anyone.
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:12 am

I used to be against hitting women but after a recent experience now I'm OK with it. IMHO, if a woman is man enough to dish out a blow, she's man enough to take one.
 
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:17 am

Quoting AR385 (Reply 6):
Why does a man never "ever slaps or lays a hand on a woman"

I suppose that it might stem from the time that men were seen as the protectors of women. It was a false sense of chivalry in which women had few or no rights and men were their legal guardians. Throw in notions about women being the "weaker sex", etc. Of course this notion has never been truly applied in reality. A man may not hit a woman but he may bomb an entire city in which women and children reside. At that point they cease to be women and become objects and can be dismissed as collateral damage.

Quoting seb146 (Reply 9):
Men look.

And women do too. It is human nature to look at other people in all sorts of ways, assessing them as potential bed-mates or rivals, future friends or objects of derision.

Quoting georgetown (Reply 10):
But for him to slap her back?

Laughing might have been a far more effective response.
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:57 am

Quoting MillwallSean (Reply 5):
gentlemen, some manners and chivalry should be left in this world.

Not in my view. As far as I'm concerned, chivalry is dead. Good riddance.

If she initiated the slap, he has every right to slap her back. I would've done exactly the same. I give as good as I get. If a woman hit me, I will strike back with equal force, no ifs or buts.

[Edited 2012-03-25 00:59:35]
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:17 am

Quoting QFA380 (Reply 4):
Without being a whiteknight, I think he should have just walked away, despite her being in the wrong.
Not everyone agrees with you on that...
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:51 am

Quoting AR385 (Reply 6):
I would never do it. That´s just me. But why do you think this?

I dont belive in hitting as a way to solve anything.
Seems rather immature and anti-intellectual and is something I used to do in kindergarten and maybe primary school. Then I grew up, sans a few decent rucks at football that is...

If a man cant take a slap without retaliating he needs to grow some balls.
If a woman deems it fit to slap a man for looking at another woman that in itself probably is enough evidence that the woman isnt someone to spend too much time with. Good riddance Id say. But slapping her back in public?
Not in a million years.
As a mate Id never tolerate that my friend slaps his woman. Simple as that. If he did, Id explain what I expect from him and if he isnt man enough to do the right thing he can find some other mates.

However I guess that where you want to go is why cant a man hit a woman. In an equal society I can understand the philosophical argument. But I disagree.
In my world men dont hit women, doing so is frowned upon. Simple as that.

A man that hits women or children is a coward with no self respct. A man that needs to hit someone has self control issues..
Hitting women and children is wrong when youre a man. In my eyes he lacks self esteem and shows youre insecurity.
(Yeah im sure there is the odd exception where a nutty woman comes charging tooled up etc and sure id defend myself then as well but thats an extreme and not a slap or a hit or what were referring to here or in 99.9% of the usual cases. Id defend myself if a child tried to stab me as well for that sake - still doesnt mean I think its ok to hit children)

If I see a man hit a woman Ill deal with that man myself.
I dont like the idea that someone else, usually the same government we compalin about, should solve issues, noir di I think all responsabilities should be put on them always. If I see a man step out of line I tend to have a few words with him myself. My kind of society is one where people themselves handles petty stuff, not one where we always ask others to do our work.
I dont need to take such man out (as a former elite thaiboxer I have no doubt I would be able to do so if needed against 99% of the public) but Id put that man in a position where he is no danger to me and explain how a man acts and behaves. Send a message and explain he just made a fool out of himself and if the woman is around ask him to pop over and explain he wronged.

Quoting CXB77L (Reply 15):
Not in my view. As far as I'm concerned, chivalry is dead. Good riddance.

I never understood that common nickname for Aussie men. Got it now hehe.
No wonder I feel like Brad Pitt when Im in Australia.
But by all means please avoid chivalry. Just more women for men like me.
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CXB77L
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:12 am

Quoting MillwallSean (Reply 17):
If I see a man hit a woman Ill deal with that man myself.
I dont like the idea that someone else, usually the same government we compalin about, should solve issues, noir di I think all responsabilities should be put on them always. If I see a man step out of line I tend to have a few words with him myself. My kind of society is one where people themselves handles petty stuff, not one where we always ask others to do our work.
I dont need to take such man out (as a former elite thaiboxer I have no doubt I would be able to do so if needed against 99% of the public) but Id put that man in a position where he is no danger to me and explain how a man acts and behaves. Send a message and explain he just made a fool out of himself and if the woman is around ask him to pop over and explain he wronged.

Would you do that if you saw a stranger hit a woman, or just someone you know? Because if someone I don't know told me how I should behave, I'd probably be telling him to mind his own business. What gives anyone the right to interfere in someone else's business?

Personally, I would never hit anyone except in retaliation. If I hit someone, it's because they hit me first. I don't discriminate between men, women or children. If they hit me, I will retaliate with equal force.
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MillwallSean
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:45 am

Quoting CXB77L (Reply 18):

Would you do that if you saw a stranger hit a woman, or just someone you know? Because if someone I don't know told me how I should behave, I'd probably be telling him to mind his own business. What gives anyone the right to interfere in someone else's business?

Thats what people like me are like. I see it as my right to step in when people step out of line.
Same as if I see a pickpocketer, a shoplifter or a petty crime. Ill step in if I can and I deem it safe to do so. And hitting someone isn't ok in our societies so Im happy to interfere.

Hopefully a man that has hit a woman will remember that the last time he did so this bad arse man came and grabbed him and explained what manners mean. If he faces the same situation again he might think twice about his actions. Not everyman shows as much restraint as I would. Hitting a woman always carries a high risk and I believe that most men that's been apprehended once and taught a stern lesson knows that they aren't invisible and that others might interfere in their business when they step out of line.

Maybe Im old fashioned but that's how I work and that's how I see the world.
When I was a cocky wannabee teenager down The Den the elders there ensured I didnt step out of line and believe me I learnt that fast.

(And yeah I have stepped in on several occasions both when I have seen men hit women or when I have seen parents hit children etc etc)
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ltbewr
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:49 am

First of all to me, both were wrong. The woman seems to be immature and insecure in her objecting to the man looking at another woman in a public place. The man should have been a bit more careful in his observing of other women, and he should not have used a psychical assault back that is likely more severe than her slap on him. While his return slap may be a natural reaction, is still wrong by our social and moral codes.

I have serious problems with anyone in public being psychical violent or even verbally violent to each other, including between men and women or adults to children.
 
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:57 am

Quoting MillwallSean (Reply 19):
Thats what people like me are like. I see it as my right to step in when people step out of line.
Same as if I see a pickpocketer, a shoplifter or a petty crime. Ill step in if I can and I deem it safe to do so. And hitting someone isn't ok in our societies so Im happy to interfere.

Hopefully a man that has hit a woman will remember that the last time he did so this bad arse man came and grabbed him and explained what manners mean. If he faces the same situation again he might think twice about his actions. Not everyman shows as much restraint as I would. Hitting a woman always carries a high risk and I believe that most men that's been apprehended once and taught a stern lesson knows that they aren't invisible and that others might interfere in their business when they step out of line.

Is there a line that says women can't hit men? Would you step in if you saw a woman slap a man? You said hitting someone is wrong in society, and I do agree only if that is applied equally regardless of gender. I will not stand for a woman hitting a man, because her actions constitutes an assault. I won't step in, however, unless I am the victim.

In my view, there is absolutely nothing wrong with striking back if I am struck first. There is, however, everything wrong with initiating the violence. I won't initiate violence, but if violence has been done on me, I will strike back, whoever the attacker may be, and whatever their gender happens to be. What some people fail to understand is that there are times when men are victims of domestic violence, rather than the instigators. Why should violence against women be classified and treated any differently to violence, generally? Why isn't there a societal outrage when men are victims of domestic violence, yet when women are the victim, the male perpetrator is treated as scum?
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einsteinboricua
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 3:29 pm

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
Is it ok to return it if you are the male?

I don't see why not. Women ask for equality in society, so it's equally justified that if they slap a man (especially for a thing as little as this) they should not expect for a man to be on all fours and beg for forgiveness. Even if I had criminal charges against me, I'd be at peace knowing that I returned the favor.

Quoting MillwallSean (Reply 5):
A man never ever slaps or lays a hand on a woman or a child.
No if or buts.

gentlemen, some manners and chivalry should be left in this world.

I'm sorry. While I respect women, I think respect has to be mutual. If you want me to respect you, show respect to me as well. If you purposely hit me, don't expect me to remain still. As I said, women are asking for equality in society. I have no problem as long as they have it very clear that equality means not being in the privileged position anymore.



Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 8):
I'm not speaking for all women and I am not sexist or a misogynist but I find that women want to be equal when it suits them. I think this would be a perfect example if the woman in case said that your friend was in the wrong for doing it back but feels they were completely justified in doing it to begin with.

The truth is she wasn't justified in doing it to being with

If men can't hit women (which I accept) then women can't hit men, simple as that.

         Ding ding ding, we have a winner.

Quoting georgetown (Reply 10):
I have to admit I'm disturbed and a bit shocked that there's those on here that somehow think it's ever okay to hit a woman.

Hold on a minute. I don't think anyone here has said they would hit a woman first but rather that if they were hit by a women they would not hesitate to hit back. If you are a child and are spanked by your parents, that's one thing because your are being disciplined for wrongdoing and subjected to obedience. If you are a man and are slapped by a woman because your eyes wandered to another person (even if you are married, which I would give the woman more credit but still not enough) it's only a jealous action from her part. I will not be subjected to humiliation in public nor to any other action. Just like she slapped him, she could have very well let her emotions get the best of her and perhaps kill him (I've seen cases like that on the news).

Quoting CXB77L (Reply 21):
Why isn't there a societal outrage when men are victims of domestic violence, yet when women are the victim, the male perpetrator is treated as scum?

   And for this, I have added you to my Respected Users list.
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ROSWELL41
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 3:41 pm

Many of you are out of your minds. In this situation, the correct thing to do is to walk away. Go ahead and hit a women or child in front of law enforcement in the USA and you will find yourself cuffed and on the ground in no time. Some of you need a reality check.
 
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EA CO AS
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 3:54 pm

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
Then, she slaps my friend across the face pretty hard. And my friend returned the favor.

While I generally believe "if you're going to hit like a man, you'd best be prepared to GET hit like a man" I don't know that I'd have returned the slap in this instance; I'd probably have just walked away and not looked back.

Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 8):
the slap is a huge red flag

More like a full-on Red Square Military Parade!

Quoting CXB77L (Reply 21):
Why isn't there a societal outrage when men are victims of domestic violence, yet when women are the victim, the male perpetrator is treated

  

My wife and I made a deal long before we got married; if EITHER of us ever raised a hand to the other in anger, it would be a one-way ticket out of the relationship. There's no going back from ever hitting someone - it's the biggest sign of disrespect you can show.
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Derico
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:20 pm

I would not have slapped her. However, maybe he did so out of a reflex reaction, which can happen.

The key is to understand the basics of women psychology, but most importantly, what actually hurts the other side the most. I know for a fact that what hurts women most is what you DON'T do and not what you do.

So, I would have not returned favor, not so much for my own chivalry (which does count), but because it is short term vs long term. I would have just stood there for about 10-15 seconds, looking at her (that image will stay with the woman forever), and then told her "I'm going for a while". Don't say it's over (both for your own sake if you really didn't mean it, but also for psychological strategy), don't say you are mad, don't give any clues, just say exactly those words. Then leave and cease all contact indefinitely.

What is a woman's worst enemy? Uncertainty in what the other side thinks or will do. Because women use manipulation as a key resource. Take that away from them, and they are utterly lost (yes, women are manipulative is what I'm saying, because men tolerate in order to get "home". It's biology).

She will be contacting within 72 hours, or if a working female who may try to distract herself with work, by the weekend when she faces solitude plus her whirling mind. Believe me, during that time she will have tortured herself with the fact she hit you, with the memory of your face looking at her, with the fact you show no urge to talk to her again. She will have tortured the entire office she works at with the story making her persona non grata, and/or have used up all her "girlfriends' ears" for about a month.

The best weapon to use against a woman is her own overly-built brain.

[Edited 2012-03-25 09:25:48]
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:11 pm

My response would have been to give her a very dangerous look, make myself look as big as possible (and I can do that), and then calmly say: "I can hit you a lot harder than you can hit me."
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Georgetown
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:34 pm

Quoting einsteinboricua (Reply 22):
I will not be subjected to humiliation in public nor to any other action

Absolutely don't have to subject yourself to such humiliation in public. Seems to me the best way to do this is with dignity by simply walking away. Hitting her back is ten times more humiliating. Either way you're walking away from that situation, best not to walk away a coward that just slapped a woman.
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einsteinboricua
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:59 pm

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 26):
My response would have been to give her a very dangerous look, make myself look as big as possible (and I can do that), and then calmly say: "I can hit you a lot harder than you can hit me."

While that can make you look dangerous, it can also be used against you. She might go and say you threatened her with physical violence (even going as far as to twist the story and make it seem like YOU forced her to hit you out of self defense).

Quoting ROSWELL41 (Reply 23):
Go ahead and hit a women or child in front of law enforcement in the USA and you will find yourself cuffed and on the ground in no time. Some of you need a reality check.

For starters, there's no law that says I can't hit a woman in retaliation of her hitting me. It's only manners and dignity that allows many men to take the high road and do nothing. Second, unless I hit her for no apparent reason (which would mean that out of the blue I WANT to hit her), I don't see why I can't act in self defense. Third, there's a big distinction in how I hit a person. A slap in the face to a grown up is no different than a spank to a child. However, if I used an object to hit the person and repeatedly strike the person, you can bet I'll be on the ground in no time.

Now why is it that YOU think that if I hit a woman I'll be on the ground? Would the same consequence apply if a woman hit me?
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:01 pm

Quoting einsteinboricua (Reply 28):
I don't see why I can't act in self defense.

There's a question of what constitutes "self defense" here, though - if she continued hitting you, you'd be justified in hitting back in self-defense. If it was one slap across the face, slapping back would probably be viewed as simple retaliation rather than self-defense, since the "threat" was over.
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:15 pm

Quoting einsteinboricua (Reply 28):
While that can make you look dangerous, it can also be used against you. She might go and say you threatened her with physical violence (even going as far as to twist the story and make it seem like YOU forced her to hit you out of self defense).

Not if I didn't hit her and not if she hit me first and there are witnesses. It certainly makes me look better than hitting her back.
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smittyone
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:20 pm

Regardless of who hits you (man or woman), IMO there is no need or justification to retaliate unless the function is to neutralize the threat of a second blow. And slapping someone in the face would be a pretty ineffective way of doing that anyway...it's just macho bullshit.

The best response would be what we learned in Top Gun - "Take a hard right, select zone five, extend and escape". Walk away, cool off and decide whether this lady is worth the hassle.

If an attacker backs you into a corner, then do what you have to do...but the goal is always to get yourself out of the situation safely. The secondary goal is to do it so that the attacker is not seriously hurt - regardless of how justified you are you could find yourself in court and paying for the idiot's medical care.

The truly strong man doesn't give a crap about being 'insulted' or 'humiliated'. These concepts mean nothing to him.

[Edited 2012-03-25 11:29:22]
 
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:41 pm

Quoting ROSWELL41 (Reply 23):
Many of you are out of your minds. In this situation, the correct thing to do is to walk away. Go ahead and hit a women or child in front of law enforcement in the USA and you will find yourself cuffed and on the ground in no time. Some of you need a reality check.

Yes, the right thing to do is walk away, but some times one retaliates just as a reaction.

In this same situation, if you were in front of a cop, there's no guarantee of what would have happened.

Due to domestic violence laws, chances are one of you is going away, but if the female instigated it, she may go, especially if there were other circumstances, like she was visibly drunk.

You folks do realize we have women's prisons, right?

There are some nasty, violent women out there too.
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Flighty
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:16 am

The majority of domestic violence is women against men. However, men do more damage, so it is considered a worse crime.

Quoting Revelation (Reply 32):
There are some nasty, violent women out there too.

Right. Some people go so far as to say, "it is never OK to hit a woman," which is ridiculous. Some women kill kids. Some women kill cops. People deserve to be hit occasionally. It's not impossible such a person is female. But, in general it is a bad move to slap your girlfriend in public.
 
flymia
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:31 am

I am very surprised to see so many people say it was ok to hit a woman. Unless the woman instigated a serious fight where injury is possible it is NEVER ok to hit a woman plain and simple. Really it's shocking to here otherwise.


As for domestic violence I worked at the local state attorneys office in Miami one summer in the do Eric violence unit. One of the things I did was read police reports and enter data into th computer and call the victims. I was surprised how many men victims there were but there was still more women victims. Also women would be injured far worse most of the time.
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Tugger
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:05 am

Quoting flymia (Reply 34):
I am very surprised to see so many people say it was ok to hit a woman. Unless the woman instigated a serious fight where injury is possible it is NEVER ok to hit a woman plain and simple. Really it's shocking to here otherwise.

Here's the part I'm surprised at.... that people are saying " it is NEVER ok to hit a woman plain and simple" when everyone should be saying: "It is never OK to hit anyone plain and simple". Ever.

Why is anyone limiting it to a certain sex? It is simply not OK to hit someone. Period.

Tugg
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texan
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:13 am

I will not do it. If a woman makes a move to slap me I'll block her arm and back away. Unless I am in fear for my safety I will not strike anyone.

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airportugal310
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:21 am

What would be nice is if we had some female prospective on the subject. Otherwise, we have nothing but males arguing about 'chivalry' or what is otherwise seen as a bad/good move...

Come out of your hiding holes ladies!!!!!
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CXB77L
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 9:16 am

Quoting flymia (Reply 34):
I am very surprised to see so many people say it was ok to hit a woman.

If she initiated the violence, why not? Other than some archaic and anachronistic notion of chivalry, why is a man hitting a woman any more wrong than a woman hitting a man, or anyone hitting another regardless of gender, for that matter?

We live in a time when women are equal to men in every way. That means that they will be treated the same way. If a man hit another man, would you not expect the victim to strike back? Why should it be any different if the perpetrator was female? The law does not distinguish between an assault committed by a woman on a man, and an assault committed by a man on a woman.
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 9:58 am

Quoting texan (Reply 36):
I will not do it. If a woman makes a move to slap me I'll block her arm and back away.

Actually, now that I think of it, this is exactly what I did with the one girlfriend who had a tendency to violence. I just grabbed her hand and asked her what the hell she was doing.

She was quite a tomboy. She was athletic and competitive. She had a brother, and as kids, they would wrestle with each other. The first day we met, she challenged me to wrestle. I thought she was joking, but she was dead serious. I was a lot bigger and taller than her, but that didn't matter to her. After a few rounds, as it got clear she wouldn't beat me, she got angrier and angrier, to the point where our friends had to break it up.

Months later we started to date, and ended up being a couple on and off for four years. With her, it was heaven and hell. The hell side was a tendency for violence and anger and to hold a grudge. The heaven side was the physical relationship, and her huge capacity for love and for bonding with another human being.

I tried to coach her about the negative aspects of her personality, but I ended it due to the hell part. I don't regret it, but I do regret not getting some counseling, but at the young age of 20 such an idea would have seemed to be ridiculous. From what I understand she's gone on to get advanced degrees and is working in a professional field, so I bet she's gotten past a lot of things that held her back as a younger woman.

But I did learn girls are not all "sugar and spice and everything nice".

This and other experiences have convinced me there are some downright mean, violent and angry women out there, and the same can be said for men too.
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garpd
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:37 am

In my opinion, if a woman comes up to me and punches, kicks or slaps me, she waivers the right not to be touched. I will defend myself. I’d far prefer a short sharp slap that will tell her enough is enough. But if that is not enough then I’ll do what is needed to get her off of me.
Why should I stand there and receive injuries for an archaic tradition? Sorry, she has assaulted me, I will do the least needed to subdue her.

In today’s modern society, Women are regarded as equals to Men. I’m all for that and fully support it.
This equality works both ways however. They can’t be considered equal on all levels AND keep their “Though shalt never touch” right.

In the situation described by the OP, her insta-slap without so much as a verbal challenge was out of line and deserved retaliatory action. Personally I would have told her to F-Off, and that that was an old school friend I was just about to call over to and say ‘Hi’. I’d then probably re-evaluate my relationship with that person. If she’s going to insta-slap at the slightest glance at another woman, what’s she going to do if I have to talk to a strange woman in her presence? She sounds like a very jealous individual and is either high maintenance or unbalanced. Either way I understand his reaction and wouldn’t think twice about it.

Now, I do firmly believe that the man should never, ever hit first. That is unacceptable, unless of course she’s about to plunge a knife into him. There are always exceptions to the rule.

In summary, a man hitting a woman should only ever occur in a defensive capacity.
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FingerLakerAv8r
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:07 pm

I was raised with the idea if some starts a fight with you, you finish that fight regardless of sex. And yeah, that was my mothers belief she instilled in us. (my sisters included)

I seem to notice (where I live at least) that domestic violence seems to be more suburban and urban than rural. I haven't heard of a single case of domestic violence where I live and I'm a good 90 minutes away from the nearest city. I also think the idea of women being seen as the weaker sex in rural communities is almost non existant, especially when your region is dominated by farming and a "all hands on deck" approach is needed to be successful in agriculture. If you can lift, twist, bale, plant, sow, harvest, push, pull and dig then no one cares if it's boxers or panities underneath the jeans. Just get the job done and done right and then we can all have a cold beer.

Or, country women are a bit tougher and can take a hit while dishing some out. Most of the women I know agree that if your woman enough to hit a man than you better be woman enough to get hit back.
 
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einsteinboricua
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:19 pm

Quoting tugger (Reply 35):
Here's the part I'm surprised at.... that people are saying " it is NEVER ok to hit a woman plain and simple" when everyone should be saying: "It is never OK to hit anyone plain and simple". Ever.

Why is anyone limiting it to a certain sex? It is simply not OK to hit someone. Period.

Well, here's the thing: if a guy purposely hits you and you retaliate, there's no "crime". If two women purposely hit each other, that's not a crime either. Now, if a woman hits a man, what should the guy do? That's what we're discussing. I think it's pretty clear that all of us would never strike first, whether a woman or a man. Where we all differ is how do we respond if we were in the situation where a woman slaps you for no apparent reason.
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:34 pm

Quoting einsteinboricua (Reply 42):
Where we all differ is how do we respond if we were in the situation where a woman slaps you for no apparent reason.

The case we are discussing has an "apparent reason": the woman was angry because she thought the man was paying too much attention to another woman. In this case it would have been better IMHO if the guy had blocked her slap, but maybe he wasn't able to see it coming. I can't blame him for slapping her back out of instinct/reaction (hey, we're all human), but it wasn't the best response. Ideally he would have told her what he thought instead of slapping back.
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Wake now, discover that you are the song that the morning brings
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ROSWELL41
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:29 pm

Of course its wrong for the woman to hit the man. Those of you arguing equality as a reason to hit back are missing some key points. One, in the United States, courts, juries and most law enforcement view the woman as the weaker one and will be more likely to side with her in domestic violence issues. Reference numerous divorce cases and the 'battered woman' defense used to justify homicide. Two, most men are larger and stronger than most women so any retaliation would be hard to argue as self defense. Look, a life threatening attack by a female assailant is different the 'b-slap' we are discussing here.
 
tommy767
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 6:53 pm

Here's the say I look at it --- since it took place in a mall:

--Woman slaps man and there are witnesses: likely viewed as a misunderstanding or as comical like, "whoa wonder who is the catcher in that relationship?"

--Man slaps woman in retaliation and there are witnesses: The man will likely get arrested. Keeping in mind we're living in modern day society.

I don't think it's right to hit a woman ever and vise versa. Sometimes they definitely deserve it, but humans have the power to restrain themselves if they really think about it. We all lose control and make mistakes, but this is generally when we're not sober.

If this guy was in some sort of toxic relationship then he can get her back in other ways as opposed to physical violence. Trust me, I've been in my fair share of toxic relationships where I got hit and it makes you feel like they have the upper hand and it's not a good feeling. Relationships aren't about having the upper hand, ever. If it's a competition, there are things you can do to get the ball back in your court, but violence is never an option.
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luv2fly
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:29 pm

He should ditch the b*tch, ASAP that is for sure.
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Georgetown
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:51 am

For anyone that lives in SF: was walking by Matrix Fillmore a few years back. Saw the following unfold: a couple were in line. Who knows what was said, but the girl turned and slapped her boyfriend. The boyfriend wound up and slapped her right back. The guy standing behind him picked him up and threw him through the plate-glass window. A couple cops were across the street at Mauna Loa. They heard the commotion and rushed over. Of course they asked what happened, then picked the guy (slapper) up off the ground. They then told him to leave before he got his ass kicked again. Seems to me he got off easy.
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Quokkas
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:59 am

Quoting georgetown (Reply 47):
Seems to me he got off easy.

So who paid for the plate-glass window?
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DarkSnowyNight
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RE: Slapping A Woman

Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:49 am

Quoting MillwallSean (Reply 17):

So basically the thrust of your argument is to solve violence with violence. And as for how tough you say you are... There's always a bigger fish out there. I'm sure sure you'll find that out soon enough though, with habits like that.

Quoting MillwallSean (Reply 19):

Thats what people like me are like. I see it as my right to step in when people step out of line.

People like you are usually called felons. Violating boundaries and starting trouble is frowned upon in every country on earth. You may have some notion of being the local do-gooder, but the honest truth is that you are coming off like someone who really isn't that great to be around. This may not be true in real life (as it is hard to judge others online), but your posts read a little... ...psychotically.

Quoting Revelation (Reply 39):

But I did learn girls are not all "sugar and spice and everything nice".

Lol, true. I liken women to A330s. Sure they look cool, have great lines, some sound nice, and we all like the idea of being in one every now and again. But up close we see that they require frequent MX action, are expensive to operate, can only be optimized in very selective environments, and come with lots of sharp and dangerous things to hurt yourself with, if you don't have respect for them. Just saying...



And lastly, almost 50 replies in this thread... And no links to this classic scene? Really?

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