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Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 6:48 am
by dragon-wings
Does anyone else in here have a real hard time making a decision? I have a real had time making simple decisions like what to eat for dinner. I have a decision to make and I am really getting emotional (mad, tearing up) because I can not make up my mind. Do I have a problem?

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 7:14 am
by Airstud
Quoting dragon-wings (Thread starter):
Do I have a problem?

If you are in fact getting mad to the point of tears because you can't decide what to have for dinner; then yes, you have a problem.

The emotions arising in you in this particular situation have nothing to do with the bill of fare; they are related to something else in your life; the dinnertime decision is merely what's bringing it up.

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 7:21 am
by WestJet747
Quoting dragon-wings (Thread starter):
I have a decision to make and I am really getting emotional (mad, tearing up) because I can not make up my mind. Do I have a problem?

Maybe.

In the past I've battled with some of my own issues, and in doing some home reading on what I had been diagnosed with, I came across some pieces of literature that discussed depression (I never had depression, but is was worth looking into anyway). The inability to make simple or minor decisions can be a symptom of major depressive disorder.

It also may not be depression. I've also read that during periods of high stress (from work, family life, etc.) the brain sometimes decides to over-emote during seemingly random events, like deciding what to have for dinner.

But with that said, you should take whatever I say with a grain of salt and go talk to a professional about it. You really have nothing to lose. If you go and talk about it with a psychiatrist and it turns out it's just stress or something, they'll give you tools to deal with it. If it turns out you really do have depression or some other disorder, they'll be able to diagnose and treat you.

Either way, go see someone about it. If you've thought about it enough to start a thread on A-net seeking advice, then you're already at the point at which pursuing professional help is the best course of action.

Hope it all works out!

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 8:05 am
by kiwiinoz
As suggested above, it sounds as though you may have some kind of underlying issue and I would certainly get it checked out. I am in no way qualified to make any recommendation on how to remedy such an issue

I am, however, a good decision maker, and can make some recommendations on a mental framework to make decisions.

Firstly, each decision in life should be categorised by it's level of importance, on a scale of 1-10. 10 being of absolutely no consequence, (ieg should i walk to the right or left side of the lamppost), 1 being the most important, (shall I turn off the life support system......you get what I mean)

Categorising them in this manner will allow you to apply the right amount of time and emotional investment against the decision. Your dinner scenario, I would place at about a 7, (if you are dining alone), or perhaps a 6 if you were dining with someone. This is personal. If I were on a weight loss diet, or weight gain diet, perhaps this decision would be more important.

Hopefully, once you recognise the decision as a "7" this will automatically reduce your level of stress around the decision.

There are of course, other factors, eg the time critical nature of the decision, the potential flow on effects, etc. But in the meantime, start with the level of importance

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 10:45 am
by LH526
Quoting dragon-wings (Thread starter):

Does anyone else in here have a real hard time making a decision? I have a real had time making simple decisions like what to eat for dinner. I have a decision to make and I am really getting emotional (mad, tearing up) because I can not make up my mind. Do I have a problem?

What helped me decide between two options: Flip a coin ... the outcome is not important, but once the coin spins aloft, you immediately will know what you wish for.

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 11:27 am
by Revelation
Quoting dragon-wings (Thread starter):
Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Maybe.

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 11:37 am
by na
Quoting dragon-wings (Thread starter):
Does anyone else in here have a real hard time making a decision?

It depends.
I do, if the decision will have a negative effect whatever I decide. Like, do I do my tax declaration next month like the tax office wants or do I do it after the summer and write them a letter I have to much work? I will mostly delay such decisions until the very last day. Same about any things involving contracts. I rather pay a little more than hasten to read contracts.

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 8:18 pm
by ZKSUJ
Quoting dragon-wings (Thread starter):
I have a real had time making simple decisions like what to eat for dinner.

I take a while to decide as well whenever I get take-aways. I don't see it as a big deal though but after reading this thread it's got me wondering.

Quoting WestJet747 (Reply 2):
The inability to make simple or minor decisions can be a symptom of major depressive disorder.

Oh Sh*t. Ah well, I doubt I have a big case of depression because I don't know what I feel like eating most of the time

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 6:00 am
by Airstud
Also, ya know what's good for dinner some of the time... is pancakes.

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 6:17 am
by comorin
Quoting dragon-wings (Thread starter):
Does anyone else in here have a real hard time making a decision?

Very hard here. Also always see both sides of a story. Finally, my brain hurts whenever I have to think rationally or analytically. Happiness is looking outside my window at clouds going by...

I think I would like to live in a world where we have set menus, wear uniforms and we had only one channel on TV.

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 6:28 am
by flyingturtle
Not being able to decide occurs often in people who have made painful experiences in the past. Often they're regretting a choice they've made at some point, and it has backfired.

Quoting LH526 (Reply 4):
What helped me decide between two options: Flip a coin ... the outcome is not important, but once the coin spins aloft, you immediately will know what you wish for.

  


Or make a list of the pros and cons of every alternative, and assign +3 for a good reason to do it, +1 for a weak reason to do it, and make a tally.

Deciding has been two things for me: The first thing is cranking up my brain to find good reasons to do something, and if I fail to do so, I won't do it. So I shut out emotions and get on a purely logical base.

The other thing is letting a dice decide for me if two alternatives are more or less equal. So I completely shut out logical reasoning. Why? Because I will miss something everytime anyway. If I go to bed now (It's 8:15 AM), I will be rested more, but I haven't done work. If I do work, I feel more tired.

I suggest to you to get used to "missing out" on something. Just decide for the first thing that comes up, and stick with it - you'll probably make the experience that missing out on the other stuff did not kill you, did not hurt you, and did not make you feel bad.

You will miss out on many things more if you're wasting time with decisions.


David

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 1:54 pm
by comorin
Quoting flyingturtle (Reply 10):
Just decide for the first thing that comes up, and stick with it
Quoting flyingturtle (Reply 10):
You will miss out on many things more if you're wasting time with decisions.

   Excellent advice, y'all!

RE: Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:56 pm
by cgnnrw
Quoting Revelation (Reply 5):
Quoting dragon-wings (Thread starter):
Do You Have A Hard Time Making A Decision?

Maybe. Perhaps sometimes but not always. But on the other hand I'm not sure. Depends how you look at it but then again....