zrs70
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Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 10:59 am

Perhaps I come across as self-righteous. But there are some things that really get under my skin...

Case in point.

Yesterday, I'm at Boston Terminal A at the Au Bon Pain. The woman at the the deli counter is conversing with her friend (a guy who didn't work there, but was just hanging around). The place was empty. It was 7pm.

When they finish their conversation, she starts typing on her phone.

I'm just standing there waiting.

Finally I ask for a tuna sandwich.

She tells me they are out of tuna then goes back to her phone.

I reply, "Can you help me with other options?"

She tells me it's almost closing time.

"Oh? What time do you close?

"8:30." She then goes back to her phone.

I remind her it's only 7. I then add that it's rude to be on her phone while a customer is standing in front of her.

She just kind of stared at me.

Not a big deal in the whole scheme of things. Do you all just keep quite in these circumstances?
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aloges
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 11:40 am

Quoting Zrs70 (Thread starter):
She just kind of stared at me.

I'd hazard a guess that it was the stare of someone who is paid as little as the employer can get away with and stopped caring long ago.
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Boeing717200
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 12:38 pm

Quoting aloges (Reply 1):

If she can afford her smart phone, she can afford to pay attention.
240 years and the top two candidates are named Dumb and Dumber. Stay classy!
 
ElanusNotatus
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 12:39 pm

Quoting Zrs70 (Thread starter):
Au Bon Pain

Perhaps they should change the name of the joint to "A Real Pain."  

Sometimes it is worth telling someone, sometimes not. I certainly don't buy from companies that tolerate rudeness.

It looks as if in this instance the woman knew that she was being rude and deliberately so. She cared so little that she was prepared to lie to you. Assuming that the woman was an employee, if you are a regular visitor to the airport you might like to comment to the business owner that you thought the service was poor. If the woman was the owner, perhaps she won't stay in business very long if she doesn't care whether people actually end up buying something.
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aloges
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 1:52 pm

Quoting Boeing717200 (Reply 2):
If she can afford her smart phone, she can afford to pay attention.

Nice one! Do you have any more? I always enjoy a good laugh.   
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cjg225
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:29 pm

Depends on the situation. I usually take the route of being kind about their rudeness such that maybe it makes them uncomfortable or confused. If I call them out about it, it usually doesn't help the situation.

Though, sometimes I call them out. Back many years ago when I still went to the Audi dealership in my area (unfortunately, a long way from where I live) for service on my A6, I had an incident with their Service Desk staff, who were awful. I was dropping off my car for service. The woman who was usually at the Audi service desk was not paying attention to what I was saying about what I was having done to the car, and I asked her if she needed me to write this down because clearly she was concerned with other things. She looked at me like I had used a horrible slur, started shaking, and said, "You have no idea the kind of day I am having and what I am dealing with!!"

Now, mind you, I didn't just walk up and start talking; she had called me up to the desk when I was next in line. So, I replied, "Oh no, you do not visit your problems on me. I am the customer and have been one here for years. If you're having difficulty you find someone to help you or you manage it yourself. This is basic customer service; you never visit your problem upon the customer."

Not coincidentally, that was the last time I went for service there. I was so fed up with their shoddy work and poor customer service that I started looking for 3rd-party mechanics to do the work. I finally settled on the one I go to now and have been very pleased. Very close to where I live, great customer service, and really know their way around an Audi.

Quoting Boeing717200 (Reply 2):
If she can afford her smart phone, she can afford to pay attention.

Well played, and totally true.

[Edited 2015-06-29 07:33:45]
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na
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:46 pm

It depends if a person makes me angry for no reason, or is deliberately lying.
Dump people on help lines sometimes get rude if you tell them they are in the wrong job if they cant answer simple questions.
The worst company I ever dealt with was Vodafone. Never I would want to hear from that craphole again. It was so bad, and bordering to criminal action, that in the end I wrote a personal letter to the German CEO. That finally worked, all his staff and the shopkeepers were a nightmare.

I also hate it if cashiers do not react to long lines at all by calling for another desk to be opened.

Or waiters in restaurants who deliberately ignore their guests by looking over their head or deliberately and repeatedly in the opposite direction. Once I was in a restaurant for lunch with some friends/colleagues. They got their hot meal served in time, my salad took longer. After 10 minutes further waiting I asked where is my salad? In a few minutes, was the answer. After 20 minutes I asked again. Answer: I´ll look. 5 minutes later I had to ask again, and asked wether they had to cool down the salad before I´d get it, all my friends being done with their food by the time. Answer: in 2 minutes. My friends asked for the bill. After 5 more minutes still no food. Then an excuse something went wrong in the kitchen. After the last of my friends had paid, the lunch break already 15 minutes over, the salad came. I said to the waiter: enjoy it, stood up, didnt pay for my drink and left the idiot standing with the plate.

Not exactly rude, more ingorant: The other week I urgently needed to refill my car and noticed the fuel price was 20 cents per liter (!) higher than the day before on another station, an extreme difference I have never encountered before. I said so to the cashier. He answered, totally uninterested "ok", and I told him loud and stern: No, thats not ok!
 
Elite
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:49 pm

Quoting na (Reply 6):
He answered, totally uninterested "ok", and I told him loud and stern: No, thats not ok!

Well, to be fair, what do you want him to do?
 
na
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:06 pm

Quoting elite (Reply 7):
Well, to be fair, what do you want him to do?

At least acknowledge that it isn´t an example of fair business. He was a low-paid employee, how can he say a clearly overpriced product is "ok".
 
zrs70
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:10 pm

Quoting na (Reply 8):

At least acknowledge that it isn´t an example of fair business. He was a low-paid employee, how can he say a clearly overpriced product is "ok".

I don't agree. An employee needs to tow the company line. If he agrees with you, he should refer you to his manager rather than speak against the company.
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einsteinboricua
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:25 pm

Quoting na (Reply 8):
At least acknowledge that it isn´t an example of fair business. He was a low-paid employee, how can he say a clearly overpriced product is "ok".

Because he's not the one that controls the pricing. if anything, you were the rude person. If you didn't like it, take your business elsewhere.
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Elite
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:26 pm

Quoting na (Reply 8):

At least acknowledge that it isn´t an example of fair business. He was a low-paid employee, how can he say a clearly overpriced product is "ok".

You kind of nailed it! He is a low-paid employee, a cashier. He's not the one responsible for setting the prices nor would he really have that much influence over it. Besides, for fuel, prices tend to follow the general trend in that particular area.

//

On the other hand - and I don't know if this falls under rude or ignorant - but in Asia, the amount of expats who have complained about how things are done here and how it is "better back home" should get on back home.
 
ElanusNotatus
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:40 pm

Quoting elite (Reply 11):

On the other hand - and I don't know if this falls under rude or ignorant - but in Asia, the amount of expats who have complained about how things are done here and how it is "better back home" should get on back home.

That would surely depend on what they are complaining about. Poor service is poor service. While at a remote location I would not necessarily expect the facilities and service tbat I might receive in Biarritz or Sydney, downright rudeness or unwillingness to provide basic services is unacceptable anywhere.
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bennett123
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:50 pm

Sometimes you would say something.

Other times, you just take your business elsewhere.
 
IADCA
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 5:29 pm

I live in the DC area. If I spent time telling every rude person how rude they were being, I'd have no time for anything else.
 
diverted
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 5:54 pm

A lot of it depends. I get that if someone's rushed, the service level will drop. However, as a paying customer somewhere, do not ignore me.

Case in point, I'm at the dealership the other day getting my car serviced. While there, I browse the showroom. After about 15 minutes of taking a pretty deep look at a Nismo 370Z, I walk out after watching the salespeople comparing, of all things, their suspenders.

As I'm walking out, the receptionist asks me if I've "found everything" to which I reply that my car was just being serviced and I was considering trading it in right then and there, but no one seemd to want to talk to me. As I was walking back to my car, I watched a sales guy SPRINT out after me.

Too late...

I had 0 intention of trading in my car that day, but if you work in sales, at least give a potential customer the time of day.

I understand service industries to an extent, but come on. I'm sure the girl at BOS that Zrs70 was talking about probably had a bunch of crappy customers that day and was ready to go home. But at the same time, move on. Don't let something so pedantic cause you to treat all customers poorly.
 
bennett123
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:58 pm

I recall my parents visiting a restaurant in the local Mall.

The staff were so busy wining and dining the Mall management that they did not have time to serve paying guests.

Soon after that, the restaurant closed.
 
jetblueguy22
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:11 pm

In my personal life it really depends. If it is over the top I will make sure they know my displeasure. Honestly, the rudest moments that come to mind are when flying. One time I was able to score a ticket in first on DL for the price of a coach ticket. When I took my seat the FA told me "Coach is in back", I shot back "Yes I know, but the ticket I paid for says I belong right here, but thanks for the condescending remark."

Another time my flight was delayed and then when we got to the gate the jetbridge broke. The flight was marked as arrived though and my next flight was closed just as I got to the gate. I was Diamond Medallion at the time and the lady was giving me the run around. I dropped that I was Diamond trying to get help of any kind. Finally she did a 180 when I called the Diamond line and got connected immediately. Ended up with a hotel, food vouchers, and a 500 dollar flight voucher.

The tougher situations are with work. Part of my job is calling customers when their packages are misdelivered or some error occurs. Obviously nobody is happy when that happens. There have been a few times when I've been called some really unpleasant names and it became really tough to bite my tongue. I had one guy come in over Christmas calling me all sorts of names. Extremely mean stuff. Well I was talking to one of my professors a couple months ago, and he yelled as a guy walked by "Hey Bill! Come here! I want you to meet someone." We both recognized each other and it was beyond awkward. Really taught me to make sure you treat someone with respect, because you never know when you will see them again.
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WarRI1
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:27 pm

Quoting Zrs70 (Thread starter):

Ignorance to a fault. That would tick me off royally. I have never witnessed such action in a restaurant. I would tell her, but I would never let her fix my food.

[Edited 2015-06-29 12:29:08]
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seb146
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Tue Jun 30, 2015 1:00 am

Quoting Zrs70 (Thread starter):
Not a big deal in the whole scheme of things. Do you all just keep quite in these circumstances?

Depends on the circumstances. We just had to change planes at LAX. There is a great food court at T-6. I wandered through it seeing what I was in the mood for. Yes, there were order takers on their phone if there were no customers. But, as soon as a customer came even remotely in their area, the phone went down. Maybe their child was sick? Maybe their parent was sick? Maybe they were mad they could not go to Disneyland?

I have been in other situations similar to the OP. When that happens, I just (very loudly) say something like "I guess I will try this place over here" and make it VERY obvious why.
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af773atmsp
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Tue Jun 30, 2015 3:35 am

I'm not a fighter, so if an employee is being rude to me I either ignore it or move on somewhere else that wants my business.

Working at a car dealership every once in awhile I encounter rude customers. Again, I just ignore it and try to be as courteous as possible.
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TWA772LR
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Tue Jun 30, 2015 4:57 am

I've always been the "nice guy". Becoming a check-in agent has given me the balls to stand up for myself. I love it when people start screaming at me, because that gives me the right to be a dick back at them, classy of course. I once literally had to tell a grown man to act like a grown man, HE WAS COMPLAINING HOW SOMEONE CUT IN FRONT OF HIM IN LINE! I tell those kinds of passengers they can't talk to me like that and I will not tolerate it. There's a point where rudeness becomes abuse, and that's where you draw the line and pull out the "refuse service" card, or "I'm gonna call the cops" card.
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seb146
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Tue Jun 30, 2015 5:39 am

Quoting TWA772LR (Reply 21):
There's a point where rudeness becomes abuse,

I don't understand how some people can think they can abuse others and get better service. I have seen people scream and yell at a cashier and end up with less than they started with.
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sccutler
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Tue Jun 30, 2015 5:56 pm

I try to be mindful of the circumstances; a customer service agent facing a line of dozens of irate passengers at the airport? I'm giving a lot of latitude, because odds are, they are dealing with a lot of very demanding and often, unreasonable, people. Indeed, in the circumstances, I sometimes find that a gratuitous pleasantry, perhaps some empathy with their situation, can go a very long way.

I know, for a fact, that being polite and understanding of a gate-agent's difficult circumstances, in stark contrast to a self-entitled jerk who immediately preceded me, secured me a last seat on a flight in preference to the jerk, another standby passenger (who had higher pass priority than I).

Outside the customer service environment, unless a rude person is being threatening or abusive to someone else, I generally chalk it up to bad karma-"they'll get theirs in the end." In addition, if someone is being outrageous or offensive to another, it can sometimes help to engage them in conversation, essentially asking them if they are truly intending to act in the way that they are. The opportunity to amend one's ways, with a measure of dignity, can often improve attitudes and reduce stress for everyone involved.

If someone's rudeness and behavior amount to threatening or demeaning another person, sometimes conscience dictates an intervention of some sort, but one must always be cautious and exercising this remedy-you may not know all the particulars, and you may be inviting a most unpleasant encounter for yourself.

Finally, if I'm encountering rude or disrespectful behavior in a restaurant, I am more likely to simply leave and take my business elsewhere then to blatantly complain to the server or other staff member; remember: you really don't know what happened with that food before it gets to your table, do you? Those of you who have seen the movie "Road Trip" know what I'm talking about.
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cgnnrw
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Tue Jun 30, 2015 10:36 pm

Quoting na (Reply 6):
didnt pay for my drink and left the idiot standing with the plate.

While I agree with you not paying for your salad, not paying for your drink is just as rude. In Germany that same waiter could have called the police and you'd be charged with fraud.
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DLFREEBIRD
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:20 pm

When i worked at the airport i had the rudest people. I wish there was a proper way to handle people. people are so unpredictable.

In particular, I remember getting really upset at the airport. This family came in and dumped all there luggage in a pile and told their 3 year old girl to stay with the luggage and they left. I didn't know what airline they were flying with. So I immediately went over to keep the little girl company, i was worried about her safety. When the parents finally came back. I told them, that the airport was not safe to leave a 3 year old child unattended. I was very polite. I was told to mind my own business not only by the husband, but the wife went off on me as well.

As they left to get even more luggage or park the car. I told them, if you leave this child alone again. She won't be here when you get back. They started to walk away ignoring me. So i picked up my walkie talkie said Security we have a 3 year old child left unattended. Only then did the mother come back and stay. I was able to finally get back to my job.

10 minutes later, to my horror they came over to our ticket counter and i had to check them in. Karma. because i usually don't get upset. I had gotten on my soapbox, because i just couldn't' fathom someone leaving that precious child alone. What were they insane? You don't leave a 3 year old unattended at a airport.

[Edited 2015-06-30 16:24:17]
 
sccutler
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Wed Jul 01, 2015 12:24 am

Quoting DLFREEBIRD (Reply 25):
You don't leave a 3 year old unattended at a airport.

It is fortunate for them that a principled and honorable person like you was there to watch over and protect their child.

Whatever the parents did or did not do, you were protective of the innocent child, and for that, I salute you.
...three miles from BRONS, clear for the ILS one five approach...
 
DLFREEBIRD
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Fri Jul 03, 2015 5:38 am

thank you, it seems silly to get upset about something like that. It would be a tiny Nat on most people's radar screen. I think we all have different tolerance thresholds. Normally, i'm laid back, and say to myself. only 40 more minutes to go and i never have to deal with that jerk again. Then my sympathy goes towards the poor unsuspecting flight attendants.
 
coolian2
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Fri Jul 03, 2015 10:29 am

I don't usually tell people when they're being rude, however

Quoting na (Reply 6):
Not exactly rude, more ingorant: The other week I urgently needed to refill my car and noticed the fuel price was 20 cents per liter (!) higher than the day before on another station, an extreme difference I have never encountered before. I said so to the cashier. He answered, totally uninterested "ok", and I told him loud and stern: No, thats not ok!

You're being unbelievably rude. Do you shit on the flight attendants because another airline is offering a comparable service at a different price, or at the teller if their bank is offering different rates to a competitor?
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Elite
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Fri Jul 03, 2015 10:30 am

Quoting jetblueguy22 (Reply 17):
"Coach is in back", I shot back "Yes I know, but the ticket I paid for says I belong right here, but thanks for the condescending remark."

What did she say after that?
 
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cjg225
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:26 pm

Quoting jetblueguy22 (Reply 17):
In my personal life it really depends. If it is over the top I will make sure they know my displeasure. Honestly, the rudest moments that come to mind are when flying. One time I was able to score a ticket in first on DL for the price of a coach ticket. When I took my seat the FA told me "Coach is in back", I shot back "Yes I know, but the ticket I paid for says I belong right here, but thanks for the condescending remark."

That reminds me of "Come Fly With Me" when Penny doesn't believe that the husband and wife actually have First Class tickets because they look like "peasants."
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airportugal310
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:09 pm

Quoting DLFREEBIRD (Reply 27):
I think we all have different tolerance thresholds.

That's all this comes down to; we all have our peeves. Some really push the button...others not so much.

For the record, I am all for voicing ones displeasure with other's rudeness IF, and only IF, they are blatant.

The gas station issue above it hardly the poor clerks fault. Someone cutting in line in front of you because they are too damn lazy to join the back of the queue needs to know it!
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CplKlinger
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RE: Do You Tell Rude People They Are Being Rude?

Fri Jul 03, 2015 2:53 pm

Quoting na (Reply 8):
At least acknowledge that it isn´t an example of fair business.

I spent the better part of 6 years in the fuel business, 4 years indirectly and 2 years directly. All of it in management. .20 cents in a day, while a bit steep, wasn't outside of the realm of possibility. We set the prices based on what the cost of the fuel is, and I can say factually (as in hold my hand over a bible and swear in a courtroom) that we usually make 1-2 cents on a gallon of fuel. In one week, we actually LOST several thousand dollars off our bottom line on fuel because the market dropped out on us. We made all of our money inside the store and in the tire shop out back.

Yelling at the guy selling the gas does nothing other than show you as being the rude one. Hell, even yelling at the manager does no good, as we just follow what the email tells us for setting the price. Fuel prices are volatile, the nature of the market.

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