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caliboy93
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Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 5:39 am

Have you lost any family or friends at a young age? For me, I lost a college friend at 20, and many years ago a friend of a family friend died from a food allergy at 9 or 10.
 
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stl07
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 5:44 am

Yea, my friend killed himself in high school because he got caught smoking weed during school but he was a straight A kid and then he thought this would ruin his chance at any college/job even though he was probably the brightest kid the school ever had. Life is too precious to care that much about a mistake. Sure he was doing the wrong thing, but he could have easily bounced back
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TWA772LR
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 5:54 am

Morbid thread, but unfortunately it isn't uncommon to lose people you know and love at young ages.

My freshman year of college, in September of 2011, I had a friend (not a close friend, but he definitely a positive impact on everyone he met) that I knew since 1st grade die as the result of a motorcycle accident after a week in a coma in the hospital. He left behind an infant daughter. He was 18 as was I.

That same month a couple weeks later a girl I knew since middle school committed suicide. She was good friends with the aforementioned friend and I believe his death was the final straw for here since another friend told me she didn't have a good home life.

Fast forward about 4 years, I was reading on Facebook about how a guy I knew in the dorm passed in a car accident. The very sad part of this was one night in college I had to steal his car keys because he wanted to drive to get food when he was drunk. I lectured him telling him if he kept doing that, that it was gonna catch up to him. Unfortunately for everyone, I was right. He was ejected from the car at about 60 mph trying to make a turn without wearing a seatbelt while drunk. I was about 22 or 23.

About a year after that, a girl I read again on Facebook about a girl I knew since first grade who was murdered in her own apartment. I was about 23 or 24.

None of these people are particularly close to me (i.e not my best friends of family), but they still hit very close to home since I knew them for so long from a very young age. I'd say the first one mentioned was the hardest on me in particular because he was the epitome of someone being totally likeable. He was also a daredevil and truly lived life to the edge, a totally fearless kid. His passing was what made me fully aware of my own mortality.

I hope no one has to go through anything like that, but it is just an unfortunate part of life we have to work with.
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DLFREEBIRD
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 8:34 am

I lost a childhood friend at the age of six, he was my next-door neighbor and was in my class at school. We rode the bus together. He had hemophilia and we watched out for him, cause if he got hurt and started bleeding he could die. Everybody knew. I remember there was a fight on the bus going to school two kids were punching each other. I was afraid that he might get hurt, so I stood over his seat so the boys would stay away. I guess you could say I guarded him. they came really close to him, throwing punches. But he didn't get hurt. But that night, for some unknown reason his nose started bleeding and he died. I remember when my mother told me. I was so confused. I remember his mother at the funeral jumping in his coffin, saying he can't be in the dark. She had totally lost it and was hysterical. My mother whisked me out of there. I think of him all the time. He was so innocent. Of course, they now have medicine to stop the bleeding, but in the late '60s, they didn't. I also had a classmate, who was hit by a car and died. I think that happened the next year. That was a very bad situation. My cousin when she was 15 flipped her car by over correcting, she was instantly crushed. Her death was the worse. It had life long repercussions with all my family members. After that nobody else died for a long time.
 
ltbewr
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 11:45 am

Almost all of us can recall someone of a young age, as a minor or young adult, likely close to your age at the time who died or were killed. For me, it was in the late 1950's when a kid next door was hit by a car crossing a busy street to go to the store. Close to this time of year in 1967 when I was 13, a barely 19 year old cousin killed while serving in the Marines in the Vietnam War. Former HS classmates or neighbors or friends of the family a few years out of school who died in car crashes.

Today it might be from drug abuse or a victim of a mass/multiple gun shooting incident in a school, college or public streets. Still too many die at young ages from car crashes (usually operating a car in the winter or driving way too fast), diseases like cancer despite improved treatments, murder by a parent or other, suicide from mental health or other problems in their lives, house fires, while playing or practicing a sport and injured or with an unknown health condition that leads to a premature death.
 
Kiwirob
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 11:57 am

A few times, the first when when I was 16/17 a guy in my class fell from an escalator and went headfirst onto the floor 3 stories below, he was drunk. The next was a girl I had a crush on, a group of us had been out for the night, the car she was in slid of the road, she hit her head on the door pillar and was killed instantly, she was wearing a seatbelt, the car was undamaged, it was a freak accident, she really should still be alive today. And the last was a guy I worked with at McDonalds, Friday night he told his parents he was gay before they went away for the weekend, on the Saturday night he wrecked his dads brand new car, when his parent came home on Sunday they found his body hanging from the garage door mechanism. In his suicide note he apologised for being gay and wrecking the car.
 
tommy1808
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 12:10 pm

caliboy93 wrote:
Have you lost any family or friends at a young age? For me, I lost a college friend at 20, and many years ago a friend of a family friend died from a food allergy at 9 or 10.


yup, Leukemia took a friend when i was 16. She threw an awesome farewell party before going to a hospice to die, and is the reason why i have life insurance since i turned 18 to pay for a cocktail party at my funeral. About the same time a friend was blown over a low railing at a bridge about this time of year and she was run over and killed by a car. Since then i was pretty lucky when it came to losing people ...

best regards
Thomas
Well, there is prophecy in the bible after all: 2 Timothy 3:1-6
 
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N14AZ
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 12:16 pm

I played in a big band during high school. One of our trombonist died at the age of 18, give or take. He was burried on a cold and windy winter day. We played some swing classics but due to the low temperatures and the wind the brass section didn’t manage to tune their instruments properly and the sound was awful. This made the funeral even more depressing. R.I.P.
 
Kno
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 2:07 pm

Unfortunately I've had a few childhood friends die at a young age due to drugs or suicide. Very surreal looking your friends parents in the eye and giving your condolences when they've just passed.
 
vikkyvik
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 3:02 pm

Lost my mom when I was 9.

You don't really ever get over that.
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seat64k
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 4:18 pm

N14AZ wrote:
We played some swing classics but due to the low temperatures and the wind the brass section didn’t manage to tune their instruments properly and the sound was awful.


I was in marching band in high-school. We used to rehearse before school during the winter for the competition in spring - I know the hardship.

Tuba player in the same band was a year younger than me. I bumped into him on a university campus two years later. We made plans to hang out the next week, but he never showed up. I found out later he slipped and fell 9 stories out of a dorm window. He had a sister whoa year older than him - she was in my class in shcool. She died in a car crash almost exactly a year earlier. I can't imagine what their parents went through.
 
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Braybuddy
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 9:17 pm

My mother died when I was 5, and then my dad when I was 14. The funny thing was that I didn't think it was unusual at the time. The environment kids grow up in is their normality. When I started working and heard guys ten years older than me talking about their parents I used to think "Wow, his mother/father is still alive!". I can't remember when the penny dropped that I was the odd one out, but I sometimes wonder if they had lived till I was older if I would have a different outlook on life. I've never really had any sense of longevity, so I'm grateful for every year that I notch up. I think I wouldn't be as resilient: losing your parents at a young age certainly gives you a harder shell. I don't have any time for people who whinge over trivial things. A couple of years ago one of my mates -- who is older than me --was shocked when his mother, aged 91, collapsed and was taken to hospital. She survived, but the doctors told him that her life was hanging by a thread. He was unprepared, and angry, which really surprised me. Did the thought that she might die never enter his head? And this guy used to be a psychologist! She's 95 now, and still battling, despite a number of setbacks.
 
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ER757
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Mon Dec 09, 2019 9:25 pm

Lost two friends while in my teens
one fell through the ice while playing hockey on a pond - horrible experience for all who were there, I was glad I wasn't - can't imagine what that must have been like for them
The other was hit by a car while changing a flat tire on the side of a highway.
I remember how difficult it was for the parents to keep it together at the funerals.
 
mrgrtt123
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Tue Dec 10, 2019 12:25 am

My dad died when I was 5-years old. I don't have memories with him because my parents have decided to separate ways after my first birthday. People say that I look like him but I am not sure since the only photo that I have with him was when I was a toddler.
 
Ken777
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Tue Dec 10, 2019 1:33 am

A kid in my 5th Grade class lost his 13 year old brother to a "gun that wasn't loaded". Don't now why they had a gun in the house, but it certainly wasn't there to "protect" the family. That also set my mind on having guns in my house throughout my life.

Situations ike this are so painful on the family and friends and it happens to tens of thousands each year.
 
tommy1808
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Tue Dec 10, 2019 11:01 am

ER757 wrote:
Lost two friends while in my teens
one fell through the ice while playing hockey on a pond - horrible experience for all who were there, I was glad I wasn't - .


That had almost finished me, I got lucky that my friends reacted quickly and effective, and beyond being really cold on the way home nothing else happened. ....

Best regards
Thomas
Well, there is prophecy in the bible after all: 2 Timothy 3:1-6
 
SpaceshipDC10
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Tue Dec 10, 2019 9:36 pm

When I was about to turn 10, my younger sister died. She was ill, I knew it, but it was a shock anyway. Years later, my stepsister killed herself. I can add that the only real aunt I have ever had died when I was 15.
 
DeltaConnection
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Wed Dec 11, 2019 6:43 am

Fortunately still have my mother/father/sister still around but I lost all 4 of my grandparents before I graduated High School, and being born after one of them died so never had any interaction with them.

Felt weird because there are still people my age who have all or most of their grandparents still alive. I think both sets of mine had my parents at an older age so that probably played a part as both my mom and dad are the youngest sibling in their families.
 
Kiwirob
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Wed Dec 11, 2019 7:45 am

DeltaConnection wrote:
Felt weird because there are still people my age who have all or most of their grandparents still alive. I think both sets of mine had my parents at an older age so that probably played a part as both my mom and dad are the youngest sibling in their families.


I lost my three remaining grandparents in the space of 12 months, my grandma died on the 20th May, my nana in March then my grandad on the 20th May the following year. This was three years ago. I'm happy to have had 3 wonderful grandparents for 43 years of my life.

My grandma and grandad were divorced for more than 30 years, my grandad remarried but they still died on the same day 12 months apart.
 
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trpmb6
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Wed Dec 11, 2019 6:32 pm

There are stages in your life where losing someone affects you differently. A few have alluded to this above.

Lost a neighbor when I was in second grade on Halloween because her tiara fell off in front of the bus and the wind caught it. She went back out in front of the bus to get it and the bus ran her over. Driver never even saw her. She just finished the route. One of the reasons that school buses (at least around that area) are now fitted with these arms that stick out in front of school buses so the kids have to go around them and the driver can see the kids.

A few years later we lost a friend because someone hit him in the back of the head with a skateboard. Senseless. Fleeting moment of poor decision making.

A few to heroin.

Then something weird started happening. Friends started getting Hodgkin's or leukemia. Not just a number consistent with normal populations. It was more than usual. A few have died. Some have survived for now. We now know there was radioactive material improperly dumped into a landfill and it caused an underground fire that is (I believe) still burning. I'm not sure there is much proof, but most of us believe the illnesses and the landfill fire are related.

Lost two grandparents while in college. Mom wanted me to stay at school and to not worry about it but when I showed up I think that meant more to her than anything else I've done in my life. Except maybe give her grandchildren.

Freshman year of college I met a girl who was fun to be around. Smart. Kind. A drunk driver hit her on her way home for the holidays on a windy road. I still remember my last conversation with her.

All of those events shaped me in one form or another. And have obviously stuck with me. The closer they are to you the more vivid it impacts you.

But nothing has impacted me more than the events of the last few months where I spent a long period in the hospital and almost died myself. You always here people say you're young and healthy and in good shape. We're not invincible. It can happen so fast. Young with three children who aren't even school age yet and they wouldn't have understood at all. I'm not sure I had much say in living or not, but the thought of them not having a father definitely weighed heavily on me while the doctors tried to figure out how to reverse my infections. I like to think those thoughts made the difference between giving up and drifting off or being here typing this message right now.
 
johns624
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Re: Losing loved ones at a young age

Wed Dec 11, 2019 11:07 pm

This thread proves that death is a part of life.

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