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Sokes
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How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Fri Dec 18, 2020 4:21 pm

We have a nice dining table. My son would like a table tennis table, but because of space requirements I would have to give away the dining table.
I believe joy comes through activity. And though I like my dining table, I can't say it gives me joy.
Put a table cloth on the table tennis table and it can function as dining table as well.

So what's my problem?
Why am I not really willing to give away my dining table?
 
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casinterest
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Fri Dec 18, 2020 4:37 pm

It isn't a problem
You are holding out for a pool table.
 
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seahawk
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Fri Dec 18, 2020 4:41 pm

Snooker table, much more sophisticated.
 
alfa164
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Fri Dec 18, 2020 8:51 pm

Air hockey - a son would love air hockey...
 
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T18
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Fri Dec 18, 2020 10:43 pm

Why not get a rectangular table and a removal table tennis net for it. Best of both worlds.
 
LabQuest
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:06 pm

How often do you use the dining table for dinners? How often would you use it to play with your son?
 
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fallap
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 19, 2020 12:39 am

Exert your authority and tell your son that he can get a table tennis table the day he starts bringing home the green. Also, give him a few heart warming slaps to show how much you care about him.

If you want to show your son what the future holds, show him a leather boot trampling in his face forever
 
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seb146
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 19, 2020 6:00 am

I think T18 has a great compromise. Get two pieces of plywood and some hinges. Make a folding ping pong table to place over the dining table.
 
Redd
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 19, 2020 1:10 pm

Sokes wrote:
So what's my problem?


You need to think long term investment. Get one of these.

Image
 
Sokes
Topic Author
Posts: 2773
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 19, 2020 2:15 pm

T18 wrote:
Why not get a rectangular table and a removal table tennis net for it. Best of both worlds.

If one has a dining table around 9 x 5 ft with a hight of around 2,5 ft that's indeed the best idea.

Image
source: https://www.houseplanshelper.com/dining-table-size.html

From same source:
"Dining tables tend to be made to a standard height of 30 inches (76cm).
...
Dining chair seat height is usually 18" (46cm) high. Some tables have a kind of fringe under the table surface which strengthens the table but decreases the distance between knees and an obstruction."

So hight should be quite perfect, but for 5-6 people halve a table tennis table (4,5 x 5 ft) should do for meals. This is when one uses only three sides of the half table.
 
Sokes
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 19, 2020 2:23 pm

fallap wrote:
...
If you want to show your son what the future holds, show him a leather boot trampling in his face forever

We live in India, not in Sparta.
 
bennett123
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 19, 2020 3:27 pm

I would like a Red Ferrari.
 
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gunsontheroof
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 19, 2020 6:52 pm

This is probably outside of my ballpark, but is the dining table in an area of your home where you entertain guests? Unless your son is an absolutely avid table tennis player, I'd probably stick with the dining room table. Every tennis table I've ever seen purchased/gifted has gotten maybe a month of heavy play before becoming a thing that's mostly taking up space. There's a reason most of the ones I've helped friends transport have been in good condition, free for the taking and not new purchases...
 
NIKV69
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 19, 2020 7:02 pm

Poker table for sure!
 
Sokes
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sun Dec 20, 2020 12:28 am

bennett123 wrote:
I would like a Red Ferrari.

At least you show some empathy with my bourgeois attitude.
So how do you deal with it?
 
Sokes
Topic Author
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sun Dec 20, 2020 1:04 am

gunsontheroof wrote:
...is the dining table in an area of your home where you entertain guests?

Yes, but so does my son. I assume his guests will find a table tennis table far more functional than a dinning table.
If you visit a friend who has a table tennis table instead of dinning table, would you play with him?

Unless your son is an absolutely avid table tennis player, I'd probably stick with the dining room table. Every tennis table I've ever seen purchased/gifted has gotten maybe a month of heavy play before becoming a thing that's mostly taking up space.

That's a very strong point.
Table tennis is fun, but not that much fun.
Probably a plywood kept on top of the dinning table for a few months is the solution I'm looking for, at least for time being.
Thanks for this advise.

I liked the air hockey idea.
Sounds more fun to me than table tennis.
 
DLFREEBIRD
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sun Dec 20, 2020 3:07 am

get your son a beer ping pong game for Christmas, that way you can keep your dining table. That's what college students are doing. They go to the dollar store buy plastic cups and ping pong balls use any table or desk and try to hit the ping pong ball in a cup full of beer, if the ping pong ball lands in the cup, they get to drink the beer. I'm sure he will enjoy that as much as a ping pong table. Seriously, just buy a foldable ping pong table, you can store in your garage, and take outside when weather permits.
 
slider
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Mon Dec 21, 2020 4:05 pm

Sokes wrote:
So what's my problem?
Why am I not really willing to give away my dining table?


Because you're the grown up.
 
Kno
Posts: 630
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Sat Dec 26, 2020 5:43 am

Tables are nonsense. Get rid of all the tables in your house.

You don’t need them nearly as much as you think you do, and once you’re rid of them you’ll come to feel immeasurable liberation.
 
TSS
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:59 pm

Sokes wrote:
fallap wrote:
...
If you want to show your son what the future holds, show him a leather boot trampling in his face forever


We live in India, not in Sparta.


A leather sandal trampling in his face, then? :mischievous:

Sokes wrote:
gunsontheroof wrote:
Unless your son is an absolutely avid table tennis player, I'd probably stick with the dining room table. Every tennis table I've ever seen purchased/gifted has gotten maybe a month of heavy play before becoming a thing that's mostly taking up space.


That's a very strong point.
Table tennis is fun, but not that much fun.
Probably a plywood kept on top of the dinning table for a few months is the solution I'm looking for, at least for time being.
Thanks for this advise.

I liked the air hockey idea.
Sounds more fun to me than table tennis.


Gunsontheroof beat me to it: A table tennis table almost always winds up as A. More junk in the garage, or B. A great surface upon which to fold clothes provided there is room enough to set it up near the clothes dryer. Unfortunately air hockey tables tend to end up the same way.
 
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Aesma
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Tue Dec 29, 2020 12:32 am

My tennis table is made for outdoor and stays outdoor. Dinner table is much more important and I would never trade one for the other, but then I'm French.

I stayed once for some weeks with an English family and they had no dining table, they ate with a platter in front of the TV. I was a teen so at first the concept seemed good, but in the end, it wasn't, it was terrible in fact.

edit : BTW table tennis as a real sport is fine and will get kids tired, however that's in a club with proper equipment. I did that for a time as a kid and it was fun.
 
Sokes
Topic Author
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Thu Dec 31, 2020 9:40 am

Kno wrote:
Tables are nonsense. Get rid of all the tables in your house.

You don’t need them nearly as much as you think you do, and once you’re rid of them you’ll come to feel immeasurable liberation.

I'm not sure if this is a joke.

There is a story. I thought I read it in Anthony de Mello's book "song of the bird"
https://archive.org/details/SongOfTheBird-TonyDmello
, but I can't find it now.

By memory:
A bird, IIRC an eagle, collected all kind of stuff in its nest. It was so attached that he didn't fly away for long, concerned somebody may steal its things.
One day there was a storm. Its nest and all its belongings were blown away. So it finally spread its wings and went up in the sky.

Gandhi said a rich man is so attached to his material goods that he can't become a satyagrahi (a man offering nonviolent resistance).
 
texdravid
Posts: 1835
Joined: Fri May 14, 2004 3:21 pm

Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:20 pm

I have a solution. Why don't you get a better job or work a second job and get a bigger place to live?
With that, your problem would be solved.

Life is not a zero sum game. Improve it with more money=more apartment or house=plenty of space for both a dining table and a table tennis.

Ok, Mr. Bourgeois?

:banghead:
 
737307
Posts: 2945
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Tue Jan 05, 2021 6:36 pm

The OP is too soft on the son.
When I was old enough to hold a towel, my parents told me: "This is NOT a hotel! People work here to put food on the table! Here is a towel, start doing the dishes!"
 
Sokes
Topic Author
Posts: 2773
Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2019 4:48 pm

Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:02 am

texdravid wrote:
I have a solution. Why don't you get a better job or work a second job and get a bigger place to live?
...
Ok, Mr. Bourgeois?

:banghead:

Or I could replace my dining table and spend the time I don't need to work for your proposal playing table tennis.

While this may be good philosophy on an individual level, it would be a disaster for society if many people adopt this attitude.
For the government to finance education till children are 23 years old and for social insurances to finance all those who are sick, unemployed or old it is required that the remaining population works hard and long and pays high taxes/ social insurance.

So we are both wrong. I'm wrong on a macro level. You are wrong on a micro level.
 
Sokes
Topic Author
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Re: How to defeat my bourgeois attitude?

Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:21 am

Dieuwer wrote:
The OP is too soft on the son.
When I was old enough to hold a towel, my parents told me: "This is NOT a hotel! People work here to put food on the table! Here is a towel, start doing the dishes!"

You exclude the possibility that somebody is strict to children and at the same time wonders if a dining table is necessary?

In my case you are actually right. I really struggle to follow up enough on my son. He lacks executive functions which makes it extreme tiresome for me to follow up. Moreover he is stubborn and struggles to understand what I (or others) feel. Above that I also struggle with executive functions, which again makes follow up more difficult.
I tried to be strict with him. We ended up only fighting, I got frustrated and it spoilt our relationship.
In maybe a year I will give him into a boarding school. When I was his age I also didn't function properly at home. Strange enough I became a high performer in boarding school. It is related to autism. Such people often perform much better in an institutional setting. On the top of it my son is a bit hyperactive. So he is a worse case than myself.

So if you see parents who seem to have no control over their children, don't assume teaching their children would be as easy for them as for you.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_functions

Autism can not have only advantages. Great as it is, one has a price to pay.

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