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Airstud
Topic Author
Posts: 5012
Joined: Wed Nov 29, 2000 11:57 am

Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Wed May 11, 2022 4:50 am

Lately I have been having more severe emotional problems than is usual (even for me). I moved here to Minneapolis in 2010 because I'd gotten a job offer and national unemployment at the time was 12%. I therefore couldn't object to the fact that the job was three overnight 12-hour shifts Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night (4hrs Wednesday for a full work week). Naturally this was socially crippling and I was already in my late 30's at the time. I'm on Facebook (and discussion boards :biggrin: ) too much; I'm also in phone contact with longtime friends but I in fact, these twelve years after moving here, still have no friends in Minnesota. (Nice going.)

In late February of 2020, six weeks after my father died, my aunt and uncle were both killed in a small plane crash, and it was fortunate that at least by that point in my life I knew myself well enough to predict how I was most likely going to "handle" that, so I urgently scheduled a doc visit to see about pharmaceutical intervention. I've been on Wellbutrin for more than a year now and it has been of help. My doc has at least twice recommended that I also see a therapist and I finally made that appointment a few days ago (I think maybe the Wellbutrin had fired up the mental circuits telling me I deserve the wellness?)

Yet twice in the past week (psych appointment is the 16th) I had a couple of moments when the emotions were just too burdensome, and it goes without saying that the social desolation of my Minnesota existence makes those situations 500x worse than they otherwise would be.

When I think of the fact that there are people who've been in bad enough of a place that they've sincerely wanted to end their own lives, I reflect that I must truly be lucky, that I've never ever ever ever felt that way, nor even come close to it. I lost a high school friend to suicide when she and I were 15; for that reason I'm sensitive to the phenomenon and I place immense value on the support structures that are in place in this country to help people who find themselves in that incomprehensible-to-me situation.

That's the reason I've always cited behind my decision not to call any support numbers: No matter my problems, gloriously I am not suicidal and the line needs to be kept open for those who are.

The website says "People call to talk about lots of things: substance abuse, relationships...getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and loneliness, " so it's not like people with my problem were being disinvited. It just really seems wrong to me to utilize services when those services could potentially be needed to pull someone out of much more dire straits.

I also realize that an additional aversion I have to reaching out for services like that is that I really, really, dislike the notion of me needing them anyway. Like, Airstud, what part of in-real-life-you-need-real-life-friends did you not understand?

What about the rest of youse? Do you have any stories you can share about experiences you or people close to you involving that sort of anonymous, 24-hour support type hotlines?
 
cpd
Posts: 7292
Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:46 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Wed May 11, 2022 5:14 am

I haven’t - but I’ve been lucky to have lots of people checking on me daily to make sure I’m coping okay. I probably most needed it the first week when I was in hospital and then when I first got home and being in pain all the time.

In hospital I had plenty of people checking on me all day doing usual tests and injections of blood thinners.

I’m through the most difficult part and I’m starting the long path to trying to walk again, although I’m really weak. But it’s progress and every small step is a win, something I couldn’t do the week before.

These hotlines are there for a reason and if someone is feeling down, by all means reach out. It’s the right thing to do. Speaking to someone and letting people know you need help is important, then they can do something.

We aren’t robots, we are human and sometimes we go through rough times. It’s not weakness.
 
FGITD
Posts: 2120
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2016 1:44 pm

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Wed May 11, 2022 5:23 am

Airstud wrote:

I also realize that an additional aversion I have to reaching out for services like that is that I really, really, dislike the notion of me needing them anyway. Like, Airstud, what part of in-real-life-you-need-real-life-friends did you not understand?


This is the major hurdle for people to get over, and to put it very bluntly…no one cares but you.

You may be disappointed in yourself or feel like a failure for seeking out that help, but I can positively guarantee that feeling is exclusively internal. It’s you being hard on you.

In regards to calling a hotline…don’t try to compare your suffering or emotions to others, and don’t let that be an obstacle. Thinking that is just a cop out to keep feeling bad. You can bet that there are truly suicidal people in need of dire help who still think “I bet someone else feels worse, I’m being so stupid and dramatic.”

Feeling down can be strangely addictive because improving it takes effort and effort is hard. But you need to remind yourself that you deserve to feel good, to be happy and live your best life. Everyone does. Don’t let the thought of others being potentially worse bring you down and keep you there.

You want to call that number and see what they can offer? Call it. Whatever happens can’t hurt, and it’s between you and only those that you want to involve, up to and including no one.
 
bennett123
Posts: 11209
Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2004 12:49 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Wed May 11, 2022 6:01 am

There is no reason not to call one of the support numbers.

Two other thoughts, where did you live before Minneapolis. Do you have friends/family there?.

Secondly, those hours are not ideal. Can they be changed. If not, can you build a social around them?.
 
Airstud
Topic Author
Posts: 5012
Joined: Wed Nov 29, 2000 11:57 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Wed May 11, 2022 6:05 am

cpd wrote:
I haven’t - but I’ve been lucky to have lots of people checking on me daily to make sure I’m coping okay. I probably most needed it the first week when I was in hospital and then when I first got home and being in pain all the time.

In hospital I had plenty of people checking on me all day doing usual tests and injections of blood thinners.

I’m through the most difficult part and I’m starting the long path to trying to walk again, although I’m really weak. But it’s progress and every small step is a win, something I couldn’t do the week before.

These hotlines are there for a reason and if someone is feeling down, by all means reach out. It’s the right thing to do. Speaking to someone and letting people know you need help is important, then they can do something.

We aren’t robots, we are human and sometimes we go through rough times. It’s not weakness.


Very sorry to hear of the difficulties you are experiencing. I really hope you get to keep feeling better every day.

FGITD wrote:
Airstud wrote:

I also realize that an additional aversion I have to reaching out for services like that is that I really, really, dislike the notion of me needing them anyway. Like, Airstud, what part of in-real-life-you-need-real-life-friends did you not understand?


This is the major hurdle for people to get over, and to put it very bluntly…no one cares but you.

You may be disappointed in yourself or feel like a failure for seeking out that help, but I can positively guarantee that feeling is exclusively internal. It’s you being hard on you.

In regards to calling a hotline…don’t try to compare your suffering or emotions to others, and don’t let that be an obstacle. Thinking that is just a cop out to keep feeling bad. You can bet that there are truly suicidal people in need of dire help who still think “I bet someone else feels worse, I’m being so stupid and dramatic.”

Feeling down can be strangely addictive because improving it takes effort and effort is hard. But you need to remind yourself that you deserve to feel good, to be happy and live your best life. Everyone does. Don’t let the thought of others being potentially worse bring you down and keep you there.

You want to call that number and see what they can offer? Call it. Whatever happens can’t hurt, and it’s between you and only those that you want to involve, up to and including no one.


Thank you so much, for all of this. (That was one of those posts that makes it frustrating that we can't "like" or upvote posts on here. :smile: )
 
cpd
Posts: 7292
Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:46 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Wed May 11, 2022 8:35 am

Airstud wrote:

Yet twice in the past week (psych appointment is the 16th) I had a couple of moments when the emotions were just too burdensome, and it goes without saying that the social desolation of my Minnesota existence makes those situations 500x worse than they otherwise would be.


The best thing of the hotline is that it will help you until the appointment. It’s there and they will help you a lot.
 
M564038
Posts: 1123
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2016 11:16 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Wed May 11, 2022 6:23 pm

Just want to say I wish you all the best! Hope you’ll get some kind of break on the social side of things!
 
Virtual737
Posts: 1459
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 6:16 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Wed May 11, 2022 7:43 pm

Calling a hotline like that is a sign of strength, not of weakness. I'm amazed and delighted you have the emotional intelligence to be able to be so articulate and open about how you feel. All strength to you. Many people have been and are in similar positions, not all have your talent.
 
Airstud
Topic Author
Posts: 5012
Joined: Wed Nov 29, 2000 11:57 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Mon May 16, 2022 4:53 am

bennett123 wrote:
Two other thoughts, where did you live before Minneapolis. Do you have friends/family there?.

Secondly, those hours are not ideal. Can they be changed. If not, can you build a social around them?.


I lived in San Francesspool from 1993-2010. No family there and, as a person who is neither gay, nor a tie-dye 60's burnout, nor a Silicon Valley supertechie, nor a radical political ultralib, didn't have much luck in the friend-finding department.

Changing the hours means changing jobs, back when I started that was an outrageously tall order due to 12% unemployment and by the time the economy picked up, I couldn't undertake the effort to change jobs because I was in severe depression. Due to my social deprivation, which is due to my (wait for it) ...work hours. :banghead:

M564038 wrote:
Just want to say I wish you all the best! Hope you’ll get some kind of break on the social side of things!


Thank you!! Psych appointment is nine hours from now, looking forward to learning the prognosis!!

Virtual737 wrote:
Calling a hotline like that is a sign of strength, not of weakness. I'm amazed and delighted you have the emotional intelligence to be able to be so articulate and open about how you feel. All strength to you. Many people have been and are in similar positions, not all have your talent.


Hmmm... This post surprised me.

talent? :boggled:

Thank you, anyway, for the kind words.


p.s. :boggled:
 
Virtual737
Posts: 1459
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 6:16 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Mon May 16, 2022 5:03 am

Airstud wrote:
Hmmm... This post surprised me.

talent? :boggled:

Thank you, anyway, for the kind words.


p.s. :boggled:




The talent is being able to articulate well how you feel and to do so among relative strangers )
Last edited by Virtual737 on Mon May 16, 2022 5:04 am, edited 2 times in total.
 
User avatar
seb146
Posts: 24649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 1999 7:19 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Mon May 16, 2022 5:03 am

I hate crisis hotlines. Don't get me wrong: they work for some people. They must be there. For me, they are awful. I will never call another one ever again. I was dismissed from both I called.

Find something that works for you. Don't settle,
 
Redd
Posts: 1495
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:40 am

Re: Ever call the crisis hotline? (***NOT*** suicidal)

Mon May 16, 2022 7:57 am

Without getting into details, I'd had a terrible time in 2018, was also on strong anti depressants. Even though I'd always been into sports and fitness, I got very serious about it at that point, after having a bout of anxiety that kept me from leaving my flat for almost 2 weeks. 2h gym in the mornings, 10k run in the afternoons, 100+km weekend road bike training rides. Quit the antidepressants within 3 months, there was just no need for them.

From personal experience, healthy body = healthy mind, I don't believe a healthy mind can exist in an unhealthy body. Plato and Aristotle knew this millennia ago, it's interesting to look back and to see how successful Greek society was, and the weight they put on sport and physical fitness.

In Plato's view, good sport is the sport directed toward the fulfillment of self, all the way to the ideal – the idea itself. And only sport like that can bring true contentment to the human – the reasonable being. With this sport is essentially intervening in the sphere of philosophical cognition.


https://www.gymnica.upol.cz/pdfs/gym/2006/02/10.pdf

Best of luck with everything!

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