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AerMickey
Topic Author
Posts: 85
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2003 12:55 pm

Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 11:47 am

On a United flight from SEA - DEN just prior to landing the Captain came over the intercomm and said,

"Ladies and Gentlemen and behalf of all of us here today, we hope you have enjoyed your flight. And remember, the next time you are soaring at 35,000, at 560 MPH with an outside air temperature of -55 degrees, think of United."

What are some really crazy or off the wall pilot announcement(besides the scripted Southwest announcements)that you may have heard?

Mick
 
flyf15
Posts: 6633
Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 11:10 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 11:51 am

Continental from Denver to Cleveland about a year and a half ago...

"Ladies and gentlemen, our flying time to Cleveland today will be 3 hours, 27 minutes, and 13.4 seconds."

while preparing to land on the same flight...

"This is your captain speaking, we are beginning our final descent into the Houston area ........................ (long pause with total silence in the cabin besides a few call buttons being pressed) ................... heh, make that Cleveland."
 
DIA
Posts: 3053
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2001 2:24 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 11:52 am

From my Father: After landing at DIA from FRA on a UA 777 a week after 9-11-01, the pilot started singing "God Bless America". . .and all the pax joined in, even the many Germans onboard the flight!

DIA
Ding! You are now free to keep supporting Frontier.
 
DIA
Posts: 3053
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2001 2:24 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 11:56 am

I just reread the post. . .I guess my posting wasn't goofy at all. Different. . .yes. Sorry 'bout that. . .

DIA

Ding! You are now free to keep supporting Frontier.
 
Night_Flight
Posts: 183
Joined: Wed May 26, 1999 9:00 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:17 pm

UAL 747-400 DEN-LAX last week, during the safety briefing, the lead flight attendent said:

"Please be sure to put on your oxygen mask first before helping children, or those acting like children with theirs."

-Night_Flight-

Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous?
 
danielbk
Posts: 184
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 8:20 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:42 pm

And what are those scripted SW announcments? (never heard of them...
and i didn't really fly southwest since i was about 10..)
cockpit? it's that little room in the front of the plane where the pilots seat.. but that's not important now
 
redngold
Posts: 6686
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2000 12:26 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:44 pm

I had a WN pilot who made his announcements as if he was a railroad conductor (so I don't think it was scripted...)

Two or three minutes before the cabin door was closed... "All aboard!"

Just before takeoff, "This is the Southwest Limited Express, leaving Albuquerque Union Station, all aboard! [Toot toot]" (yes, he actually had one of those whistles that sounded like an old steam whistle.)

Just before landing, "Las Vegas Station is next! All passengers debarking, prepare to leave via the forward doors. Las Vegas is next! [Toot toot]"

As we pulled into the gate, "Chuggha chuggha chug-ga chug-gaaah chug-gahhhhh. Pshhhh...."


redngold
Up, up and away!
 
HS-LTA
Posts: 221
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 1999 1:30 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:45 pm

I remember in 2000/Oct, I flew UAL from HKG to NRT.
The captain said:
"We are on the Boeing 747-400, which is a 4-engines jetliners and it is able to fly even with one engine is in operation........(3 seconds silent)......Of course in this case, we have to find a place to land it."

 Laugh out loud
 
danielbk
Posts: 184
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 8:20 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:49 pm

I was on an EL AL flight (i say that allot lately, i know) afew months ago.
before T/O the captain (or f/o) called "Flight Attendent, two minutes and 12 seconds to t/o..", and before landing did about the same thing.

then, after touch down the head flight attendent called "The passanger with the pink socks, please seat down!"
cockpit? it's that little room in the front of the plane where the pilots seat.. but that's not important now
 
miami1
Posts: 650
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2001 10:31 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 1:31 pm

Had a funny one by our Captain the other day....

"...We are approaching Sydney from the North though haven't been assigned a runway as yet. If you are on the left hand side of the aircraft you will get a fantastic view of the city..... Or it on the right hand side."
 
AM
Posts: 602
Joined: Sat Oct 02, 1999 8:49 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 2:06 pm

I was on the jumpseat of a Mexicana F100 from Cancun to Mexico City. Just before beginning our descent, the captain announced:

"For the passengers seated in the left side of the airplane, you can see the city of Veracruz through your windows... Passengers seated in the right side, you can see the passengers seated in the left side who are seeing the city of Veracruz".

"... for there you have been and there you will long to return."
 
POSITIVE RATE
Posts: 2121
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2001 11:31 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 2:55 pm

I've heard a few times whilst listening to my scanner the pilots are making a PA call and they accidentally key the radio mike button and inadvertently transmit it to ATC. One such example was a DJ 737 i overheard on Melbourne Center frequency 124.3- "Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, we are currently cruising at 39,000 feet and passing overhead the city of Mildura. We have a slight tailwind and should arrive in Melbourne about 10 mins ahead of schedule. Our approach into Melborune will take us via blah blah blah"- this went on for about 3 mins and at the end of it ATC came back with a sarcastic reply of "thanks for telling us all that captain, very interesting".
 
res
Posts: 383
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2000 8:53 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 3:00 pm

Three minutes? You sure about that?
FLY NAVY
 
US Air/TWA Fan
Posts: 124
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2001 4:47 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 3:01 pm

A United B737-500 from ORD-DAY maybe 5 years ago:

The tractor that pushes the plane back at ORD broke down. Capt. says "We will have a slight delay as the pushback tractor has died... Lets have a moment of silence for the tractor..."

Then upon landing at DAY... "Thank you for flying United...and I really mean that...by flying us you help me pay for my daughter's college, my wife's shopping habits, etc."
 
flyboy36y
Posts: 2897
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2000 1:45 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 3:24 pm

TWA 767 JFK-BOS

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard TWE flight 347 with nonstop service to Boston. For those of you not going to Boston - I suggest you deplane immediatley.

AA 757 JFK-CUN

(We are by the runway)
"Folks, again, weclome aboard American flight 1587, we're next in line for takeoff. We'll be crusing at 32,000 feet and -SOUND OF TRAIN WHISTLE- well folks, looks like this train is ready to pull out of the station!" TRAIN WHISTLE again as we began our roll.

On the way back.... the pilot read off football scores.




 
AroundTheWorld
Posts: 268
Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2003 7:42 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 3:56 pm

On a SAS ORD-CPH flight a few years ago we taxied for what seemed to be an eternity after a 5 hour delay due to ground damage....the pilot came over and said, "Just to let you know we are actually going to fly at some point during this trip and not drive all the way to Copenhagen."

On a Southwest flight the flight attendant offered "Mixed drinks, beer and cheap wine for $3"

On a ATA flight pilot came over to tell us he was turning off the fasten seat belt sign and it'd be a smooth ride most the way in. Almost immediately we hit moderate turbulence and he said in an exasperated voice "well why don't you just go ahead and make a liar out of me" Later in the flight he said "I'm going to try and turn off the seatbelt sign again and as I'm sure you noticed the last time I tried this, unexpected turbulence can and...does happen"
 
fl350
Posts: 501
Joined: Thu Feb 27, 2003 5:05 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 7:06 pm

On a City Bird MD11 flight from MEX to BRU via PVR:
After full stop at the gate with doors being open, PA annoucement "Last passenger leaving the aircraft will be assigned to clean the entire cabin!!"

Usually I try to avoid the hassle of disembarking by waiting that everybody has left, so I was friendly greeted at the door with a bucket and a pair off rubber gloves...
Fabrice Sanchez - Brussels Aviation Photography
 
fritzi
Posts: 2598
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2001 2:34 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Mon Mar 24, 2003 8:18 pm

On a LX flight from ZRH-VIE, the captain said this after landing:

"Ladies and Gentle men, welcome to London Heathrow. We will be arriving shortly to the gate and we ask you to hold your passports ready and stay seated until we have reached our parking position."

There was a long silence which ran through the cabin until about 20 seconds later, the captain came on and corrected his mistake.
There were quite a few people who were starting to get nervous. Even the FAs looked puzzled.
 
WMUPilot
Posts: 1428
Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2003 2:48 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 2:21 am

Not really an announcement but more of an act. I was non-reving from MDW back to my base in GRR and all of you that fly ATA or ATA Connection know of the busses from the terminal to the C8 Planes. Well we were sitting on the bus right next to the plane waiting for the pilots. Out of the operations door comes our 2 pilots. Both were wearing dark sunglasses and using seeing-eye sticks that the blind use. To say the least all the passengers were speechless and watched verycarefully as the "felt" their way to the plane and up the stairs into the cockpit. the F/O even put in a very well times stumble to make it more realistic. I couldn't help but try not to laugh to give the joke away.
JetBlue - Bringing humanity back to air travel
 
UN_B732
Posts: 3532
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2001 12:57 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 2:44 am

Anyone heard that joke iwth the 2 blind pilots, they are obviously blind, one in glasses wiht a cane, the other with a guide dog, so they are on T/O and the passengers start screaming and then the F/O says "Some day, when they aren't scared we are all going to die.
-Transaero Boeing 737-200
What now?
 
ny-jfk-lga
Posts: 331
Joined: Sat Jan 22, 2000 2:09 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 2:47 am

I was in Hawaii earlier this month and and kinda got stuck in HNL. I was traveling with a standby pass and could NOT get on a flight as one had cancelled and filled all the rest for that airline. So I had to buy a ticket, a very very veryyyy expen$ive one way ticket home, to NYC that is, from HNL. Since I had to pay soooo much money, I chose not to give it to anyone at all but United Airlines. But back to the point here, twas my first 777 flight, LOVED it. As the doors closed, the captain said "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard United Airlines flight 62 (I think it was) for those of you who live here in Hawaii, welcome to flight 62 to San Fransisco, for those of you who live on the mainland, welcome to the flight back to reality". Which is what it definitely was, UGH, I did NOT want to leave! I'm definitely going back sometime this year again!
Bring back McDonnell Douglas & T W A!!
 
HS-LTA
Posts: 221
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 1999 1:30 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 3:04 am

Another story from my friend:
few years ago, he was traveling on China Northern MD-82 from Sanya to HKG. At that time, there was a typhoon approaching to HKG. When the plane is on the descent into HKG. The captain said:
"There is very windy at HKG and Don't worry. TRUST ME.....I can land it".
My friend suddenly feeling scare and finally the plane dirverted to CAN.......
 
LPL
Posts: 1038
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 2:13 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 3:21 am

During LHR-LAX on a BA 744:

"We're crusing at approximately 38,000 feet over south Greenland, so keep an eyeout for those penguins".

Penguins don't fly and if they did, you wouldn't see them in Greenland!
 
Guest

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 4:14 am

My Father was flying CLT to LYH and was riding on a Beech 1900D US Airways Express...

The Captain said over the PA: "Welcome aboard our Mighty Beechcraft....."

1900D's are probably to weakest(power wise) airliners out there  Big thumbs up


DeltaASA16
 
brons2
Posts: 2480
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2001 1:02 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 4:16 am

Quite the contrary, the Beech can rocket off the runway if needed. I have experienced some breathtaking takeoffs in the 1900.
Firings, if well done, are good for employee morale.
 
hmmmm...
Posts: 1967
Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 8:32 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 4:17 am

What this thread indicates is that pilots make lousy comedians.

So we may not always laugh with them. Sometimes we need to laugh at them:

Many years ago Toronto had only two terminals:Terminal I and Terminal II.

KLM used Terminal II.

After landing at Toronto, the Captain announced that we would be soon disembarking at Terminal Eleven.


An optimist robs himself of the joy of being pleasantly surprised
 
Guest

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 4:20 am

I have to say though that the announcement from the Captian about the Dead tractor and having amoment of silence for it is the funniest one I have ever heard of....

Great one USAir/Twa Fan Big grin

I believe you Brons2, I'm just saying, A Beech 1900D is not as mighty as a 737 or MD-80 which most people are use to! So, saying that the 1900D is Mighty is a funny comment...


DeltaASA16
 
Shamrock_747
Posts: 1499
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2002 3:25 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 6:31 am

I haven't had any funny pilot announcements, but on my last LTN-ATH flight on easyJet a male FA really couldn't stop making very poor jokes over the PA, here's some of what he said...

"This is a non-smoking flight. If anyone is caught smoking whilst we are in the air they will be forced to leave the aircraft."

"Karen and myself will be going wild in the aisles with the easyTrolley within the next few minutes."

After landing... "It is important that you keep your seatbelt fastened until we are parked at the gate, because the Captain can not drive as well as he can fly and we don't want a passenger reaching the gate before the plane."

The only really funny comment he made was just before disembarkation... "If you enjoyed your flight, thank you very much for flying easyJet. If you didn't enjoy your flight, thank you for flying British Airways."

Shamrock_747
 
clrd2go
Posts: 976
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2003 4:43 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 6:55 am


Not really very funny, but one I got a kick out of at the time..after a long
week on the road, flew BOS-DEN (stapleton)..and had a short hop from
DEN-COS..sitting on a CO 727 about to taxi onto the active, the pilot/fo
gets on and says "folks..we're turning onto the active..flight attendants
please take your seats..and let's get outta town". For some reason
I chuckled about that for a few days.

Jim
What a long strange trip it's been
 
Continental
Posts: 5223
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2000 3:46 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 7:08 am

2000: CO EWR-MSP Pilot says: "Folks, keep in mind we are heading to Minneapolis, not Indianapolis!" Turns out two people got off, they were on the wrong flight. I was suprised the gate agent missed that, and that those two were that dumb!!??

2001: CO EWR-MSP (again) Pilot: "We off to the Twin Cities, say that THREE times fast!" I thought this guy was nuts or he was drinking or something. Then we had a lengthy taxi. F/A: "Yeah, it may seem like we're driving to Minneapolis, but sit down we're almost to the runway." Inflight, pilot goes, "only 300 miles west which is thataway, or is it thataway? I'm not sure." Then the F/A: "Remember to pick up your things, or do us a favor by leaving stuff like money, jewelry, but NO kids!" I started to wonder if they were drinking.

Continental flights are always a great time!

co
 
dinker225
Posts: 984
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2000 9:18 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 7:24 am

I was on a United flight from Denver to Minneapolis. The head F/A came on the intercom and said "ladies and gentleman, welcome aboard United Airlines flight XXX with nonstop service from Denver to Cincinati." The entire cabin went silent. A few minutes later the F/A came back on the intercom and said "Ladies and gentleman, it has been brought to my attention that many of you are traveling to Minneapolis and not Cincinati. Sorry for the mistake. If you would like to go to Cincinati with me I will be going there from Minneapolis." You could hear everybody in the cabin was relieved to learn that they had not gotten on the wrong flight.

Dinker
Two rules in aviation, don't hit anything and don't run out of gas, cause if you run out of gas yer gonna hit something.
 
EverettWA
Posts: 108
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 1999 12:28 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 8:57 am

AA BZE-MIA on a pretty silver 727:

upon landing at MIA, the FA comes on to make the normal local time is so and so etc announcement, but starts to sing Will Smith's "Welcome to Miami" song.
 
wannabe
Posts: 652
Joined: Wed Jun 30, 1999 3:37 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 10:24 am

San Juan to NYC - American 767, after a 10 minute mechanical delay. "Sorry for the delay, but the machine that breaks your luggage was broken, so we had to break your luggage by hand. We apologize for any inconvenience."

Chicago to Las Vegas - American MD80 - "We are approaching the Las Vegas area, and you may sense that this aircraft feels a bit sluggish. That is from all of the money you'all are carrying. Trust me, when we leave Las Vegas, this thing handles like an F-16."
 
BR715-A1-30
Posts: 6525
Joined: Thu May 30, 2002 9:30 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 11:21 am

On FL 658 on 3/8/03 GPT-ATL, The Flight Attendant came on and said.

"Welcome aboard AirTran Airways 658, Non-Stop Service to Atlanta. If Atlanta is not part of your itinerary, it just became one."

A Few moments later he said


"If you request service from a flight attendant, press the little clear button above your head and the Red light will come on, press it again, and the light will go off. If you press it a 3rd time, you will be ejected from the aircraft."

Then he started singing "If you're going to Atlanta clap your hands, If you're going to Atlanta Clap your hands :CLAP CLAP:: If you're going to Atlanta, Not to Boston, or Savannah, if you're going to Atlanta Clap your hands."

Then upon landing he came on the intercom and said.

"Attention passengers, we would like to be the first to welcome you to Hong Kong. If Hong Kong was not part of your itinerary, we apologize for the mistake our illiterate pilot made. On behalf of Captain Kirk, and Captain Kangaroo, we welcome you to Atlanta. We will be taxiing to Gate C-2 Momentarily. Thank you for flying Cathay Pacific, and once again when you wish to book travel on Cathay Pacific, go to www.airtran.com."

I think this flight attendant had an obsession with Hong Kong.
Puhdiddle
 
Milesdependent
Posts: 629
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2001 5:27 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 11:42 am

On a UA flight a few years ago from ORD to LAX. It was about -19c in ORD, and as we were about to head onto the runway the pilot said:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will shortly be taking off for Chicago. I am happy to report that the termerature in LAX is a delightful 75f. I know some of you will be quite excited by that news, but we ask you to reframe from dancing in the aisles until the seat belf sign has been turned off".
 
Captain Moya
Posts: 64
Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2001 12:55 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 6:04 pm

Not really a pilot announcement but it was made by a flight attendant aboard an AA A300-600R on a flight from STI to JFK. Traditionally, Dominicans applaud when their aircraft finally touches terra firma. On this landing, however, the applause was rather weak so one of flight attendants said, "Not loud enough!" Upon hearing this, the passengers applauded cheerfully (including myself) with the loud reversers in the background.
Awesome experience.
 
UN_B732
Posts: 3532
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2001 12:57 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 9:13 pm

Southwest Manchester-Baltimore
"Ladies and Gentlment, please turn off all of your electronic devices, Game Boys, Game Girls and other things. You may now takeall of your unwanted belongings, including children, into the trash, which is being passed by the F/As.
jetBlue Commercial
"Ladies and Gentlemnt, please sit back in your comfy leather seats, and enjoy LiveTV. Just one problem folks, this isn't jetBlue." "That's not funny" from the aisle. www.jetblue.com
-Transaero Boeing 737-200
What now?
 
AS_GSC
Posts: 72
Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2002 9:55 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Tue Mar 25, 2003 11:07 pm

As boarding staff, we like to loosen passengers up a bit.

"Will passenger Johnson please ring your flight attendant call button?"

Silence

"Will passenger Johnson who left a bag with $10,000 at the checkpoint please ring your flight attendant call button?"

Dinging throughout the cabin

"Ladies put your hands down!"

Cheers!
AS_GSC
 
LPL
Posts: 1038
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 2:13 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Wed Mar 26, 2003 1:13 am

My dad told me this from a NZ flight from Honolulu to Auckland. It's funny, though not really 'goofy'.

"Ladies and Gentlemen welcome on board NZ*** to Auckland. My name is Michael Caine..."

(Michael Caine's a cockney actor)
 
Give it a GO
Posts: 131
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2001 10:00 pm

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Wed Mar 26, 2003 5:08 am

I heard this recently on a Ryanair flight, it was a boarding announcment by the First Officer;

"ladies and gentlemen welcome on board Ryanair flight FR*** to London Stansted, this is the First Officer, my name is blah blah and your flight today is under the command of Captain Trixiebelle...... {more flight information} ........... looking after your safety and comfort in the cabin this evening are Mavis, Mauld and Maureen........."

The thing was that he said it in such a normal voice, in normal pilot style, coupled with the fact that hardly anyone listens to the announcments anyway, and what made it even more funny was that only a handful of people picked up on what he was saying!

Oh and by the way... for those of you that haven't flown Ryanair, these were 3 typical Ryanair girls, bleached blonde, plastered in make-up, up themselves, rude, incompetent at their jobs, and without doubt not called such names as Mavis Mauld and Maureen! You should have seen the looks on their faces!
 
funny
Posts: 311
Joined: Fri May 11, 2001 4:07 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Wed Mar 26, 2003 5:36 am

This is not a real anouncement, its actually a joke. After a hard landing, the flight attendent has a word with the passengers on the PA. "Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry about the hard landing, now captain kangoroo is going to bounce us tho the gate"
 
flyyul
Posts: 4473
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2000 11:25 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Wed Mar 26, 2003 6:58 am

A buddy of mine on a flight between YYZ-MBJ..

"If you are not going to Montego Bay, you are now... the door is closed"

"Please remember to take all valuable with you, otherwise, all remaining items are subject to the possesion of the crew, such as wives/children etc."

Mark
 
FrequentFlier
Posts: 410
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2000 10:45 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Wed Mar 26, 2003 8:06 am

Not really a funny pilot announcement, but rather one from an flight attendant.

On a CO flight from EWR-LAS: "Ladies and gentlemen welcome aboard Continental Airlines flight xxx with nonstop service to Bangor, Maine. If Bangor is not part of your travel plans today..." (Screaming up and down the aisle- it was about 10 degrees in Newark, much less Bangor and about 75 in Sin City.)
 
B727-200
Posts: 1008
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 1999 11:28 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Wed Mar 26, 2003 12:35 pm


On an early evening Ansett flight out of warm and sunny Brisbane to cold and wet Melbourne, the captain made the following anouncement:

"......we are presently climbing through 20,000 feet on our way to a cruise altitude of 37,000 feet. The current temperature in Melbourne is 14 degrees celcius (everyone groans) with an expected minimum of around 8 degrees - but don't worry, we have spoken to our ground crew and hope to have this rectified by the time we arrive".

On a recent Virgin Blue Melbourne-Sydney flight, the flight attendant finished her usual speech, followed by: "....I would also like to inform our guests that XXX, one of our lovely flight attendants, has decided to pursue a career elsewhere. Could I ask that you all stop XXX on her way down the aisle and wish her all the very best, or try to convince her to stay with us..."

B727-200.
 
737-8K5
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2001 1:20 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Wed Mar 26, 2003 9:20 pm


Onboard a Hapag-Lloyd flight.

Just after landing, the flight attendant said:

"Ladies and gentleman,..., please remain seated until we have reached our final parking position, because our pilot is flying really good, but driving really bad!"
 
StarFlyer
Posts: 929
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2002 10:07 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Fri Mar 28, 2003 5:39 pm

Just recently, flew into Singapore on Air NZ, and the flight attendant announced:
"If you are transferring onto a domestic flight, please clear immigration first, then pick up your luggage and recheck".

I've heard about those domestic flights within Singapore...  Wink/being sarcastic
Yours truly - StarFlyer
 
trnswrld
Posts: 1390
Joined: Sat May 22, 1999 2:19 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Sat Mar 29, 2003 12:18 am

Years back on a TWA DC-9-32 while starting our descent into Chicago we hit the wake turbulence of someone passing in front of us (bounced the plane pretty good for a second). One of the pilots come on the PA and says "well folks looks like we hit the curb"
 Smile/happy/getting dizzy I still remember that one!
 
XFSUgimpLB41X
Posts: 3961
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 1:18 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Sat Mar 29, 2003 2:14 am

On a NW 757 going from MSP-MEM-

The captain comes on and goes (not word for word, has been a while):

"hello folks, we're beginning our final descent into Memphis at this time, we will be passing through some build ups (cumulus clouds) so there will be a few intermittent bumps. The first one will be in about 10 seconds, I'm turning the seat belt sign on"

(we pass through the cloud top)

"Ok.. so that was about 5 seconds, but who's counting anyways?"
Chicks dig winglets.
 
DeltaRules
Posts: 5306
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2001 11:57 am

RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Sat Mar 29, 2003 6:25 am

I had to dig up one of my old trip reports for this one. It's not as funny, but still- We were on a DC-9-10 CMH-MEM in August, when before the boarding door closed, we heard the captain say:

"Welcome aboard Northwest 1927 to Memphis! We're buttoned down, doors closed, and we're ready to go!"

The entire trip report can be found here: https://www.airliners.net/discussions/trip_reports/read.main/24612/6/

DeltaRules
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RE: Goofy Pilot Announcements

Sat Mar 29, 2003 9:03 am

Air New Zealand 747-400 to Brisbane from Auckland, before departure the captain welcomed the pax aboard this service to Sydney.......silence, correction Brisbane.

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