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laddb
Topic Author
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Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2001 3:24 am

Pilot Practical Jokes

Tue Jul 27, 2004 11:53 pm

Has anyone been on a flight where the pilots or FAs played a joke on each other, or on the passengers?

I was flying Southwest from MSY to MCO on April 1. I had completely forgotten that it was April fools day, as did most everyone else on the plane. When we were about 1/2 hour out, the captain came over the intercom and told us that Orlando was fogged in and that we would have to land in Tampa and be bussed over. Everyone groaned about the delay, and being with my wife and 2 small kids, I was not thrilled either. However, it was the afternoon and I knew MCO could not be fogged in. So I asked the FA if the pilot really meant that there were severe storms. She said, no, it was fog. At which point I got a bit upset and asked her to tell us the truth, cause I was convinced she was lying. Then she asked me what today was. Finally it clicked. But the pilot did not let on until we had landed. All in all, it was pretty funny, and I was not upset at them, although some people were not happy.
 
usnseallt82
Posts: 4727
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2004 4:49 pm

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Tue Jul 27, 2004 11:57 pm

I love waking up ground control on early morning flights in my private CE-150 by claiming Cessna 978 Heavy for departure.  Big thumbs up

Some days they get a kick out of it and I can hear them all stand up to see where the hell a heavy is parked at in the GA sector. But other days...well, I'm just glad I don't return until the next shift change.  Big thumbs up

Cheers!
Crye me a river
 
su184
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 12:09 am

Two years ago we were flying a series of flights between Rome and Sharm El Sheikh, we operated the last flight and were returning ferry with no passengers to Sharm, operations called mid-route to change our destination to Aswan, southern Egypt, we kept the secret from the cabin crew till we were on ground and they recognised the terminal. We just told their Chief that Sharm was closed due to a sandstorm and we had to divert to Aswan as it was the only open airport, they were rescheduled for two more days from Aswan instead of going home on arrival date. They were REALLY REALLY upset.
 
md11dude
Posts: 128
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 12:38 am

Usnseallt82...
good one. Ive pulled that one on Ground CTL With a rented C-172...." heavy"....very amusing indeed!
Next I should try it from Inbound....Thad be a kick..
CP979
 
geoffm
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 12:49 am

Not sure if this was intentional, but on an easyJet flight from BRS to PRG recently, the pilot said "Hello, I'm Captain [whatever] on your flight today to....." (long pause) "oh, Prague!" (in a surprised voice). He then started again in a more normal tone of voice!

Also, a pilot of a small prop in Scotland was mid-flight when he backed out of the cockpit slowly, holding two strings taut and unravelling the strings from balls as he went. As he passed the front row of pax, he asked each of the two passengers in the front row to hold the strings, and to hold them tight while he went to the bathroom. He comes back a few minutes later, takes the strings off the sweating pax and then, to the shock of all the pax, drops the strings! Of course, the plane was on autopilot all the time...

Geoff M.

PS: I'll keep tally of the replies to this 2nd one...
 
SafetyDude
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 1:06 am

"In thrust we trust"

Not sure if this was intentional, but on an easyJet flight from BRS to PRG recently, the pilot said "Hello, I'm Captain [whatever] on your flight today to....." (long pause) "oh, Prague!" (in a surprised voice). He then started again in a more normal tone of voice!
That seems intentional.

-Will
"She Flew For What We Stand For"
 
BCAL
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 1:49 am

Many years ago when British European Airways (now BA) was operating small propeller planes with only a curtain separating the cabin and flight deck on internal flights within Scotland, the pilots were advised by management to improve customer relations. A large colourful Scottish Captain (whose name I cannot remember) took this a little too far. Amongst his antics that I have read about:

He used to get on with the passengers, take a passenger's seat at the back and pretended to wait for the "pilot" to board. After a short while when passengers' patience was beginning to run thin, he used to say that if the pilot does not arrive soon, he would fly the plane himself. Sure enough, the pilot did not appear and the "Captain" then got up from his seat to fly the plane, much to the horror of the passengers. He used to pretend not to know which the correct controls were, switching buttons on and off, before proceeding to take off. Just before the final run, he revealed his joke to his alarmed passengers.

On night flights he used to appear from the back of the plane after everyone had boarded, walking down the aisle wearing dark glasses and holding a white stick. He entered the cockpit, drew the curtains shut and after a short while reappeared to put a notice up for all passengers to read, "Blind flying tonight" grinning at everyone!

Of course, this was in the days before hijackings etc.


MOL on SRB's latest attack at BA: "It's like a little Chihuahua barking at a dying Labrador. Nobody cares."
 
infiniti757
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 5:24 am

One night when I was flying across south Florida I heard a Fine Air check in like this, "Miami Approach, Fine Air 128 heavy at 11,000, student pilot."

Another night I heard a Continental Express pilot in Key West chat up the tower controller and get her phone number.
Give me the luxuries in life and I will gladly do without the necessities. (Frank Lloyd Wright)
 
quickmover
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 5:29 am

I heard a story once about a pilot that dropped some dry ice into the lav. A flight attendant later went in and saw the steam coming out and informed the pilot. He peaked in the door and said "oh sh--, CLOUD SMOKE!" and darted back to the cockpit. The F/A had a cow.
 
SleepyFlyBoy
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 5:36 am

the calling in a c152 and c172 was funny the first 20 times controllers dealt with it. I heard one guy pull that crap in a pa28R with new york approach when he was asking for class b clearance and then an approach into islip followed by a trip to Providence RI... he was in holding over Kennedy for so long he couldn't make providence and had to return to his home airport in new jersey. so if you try it... especially ifr be careful. try and be creative.
kick the tires and light the fires
 
HikesWithEyes
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:05 am

AA used to televise landings from the cockpit of their DC10s.
On one flight the flight engineer put on part of a gorilla suit
on his arm, so periodically the passengers would see a really
hairy arm reaching up to adjust switches and dials.
Pretty funny, but I heard that he got suspended for that.

Skywest is based in St.George, Utah and one F/O made an
announcement that said "Welcome to St.George, be sure
to set your watches back 50 years".
Funny, but another suspension.
First, benzene in my Perrier, and now this!
 
SlamClick
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:22 am

When I was flying part time and in the office full time, my secretary checked out as a flight attendant. The first time we flew a trip together I asked the captain if he'd mind playing a trick on her. When we shut down I went out the cockpit window, which was very easy on the DC-9. I ran around the nose and was standing there on the ramp when my secretary opened the cabin door to put the stairs down.

She rocked back on her heels and her mouth made a little silent "O" but she never said a word about it.

* * *

Once I was riding jumpseat on a DC-3 from San Clemente Island to Navy North Island. As we were taxiing out I went back to help the flight attendant with something. When I went back up forward the cockpit door had closed and locked. The key was all the way back in the galley and I could see that we were taking the active. I heard several passengers in the first couple rows muttering about "what is he doing back here" etc. So I stepped back from the door and said; "Well I wonder who is up there?" And sat down in a passenger seat for the takeoff.

* * *

One junker C-402 that I flew had the autopilot removed but the control head was still on the panel. I always turned it upside down when I flew that plane. Sometimes a passenger would ask. Mostly they never noticed.

Fun stuff but you cannot do things like that anymore.

Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
 
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EA CO AS
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 7:22 am

AA used to televise landings from the cockpit of their DC10s.
On one flight the flight engineer put on part of a gorilla suit
on his arm, so periodically the passengers would see a really
hairy arm reaching up to adjust switches and dials.
Pretty funny, but I heard that he got suspended for that.


Adding to that, after the plane successfully landed, the rest of the cockpit crew would reward the "gorilla" by handing him a banana - it got tons of laughs.
"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan

Comments made here are my own and are not intended to represent the official position of Alaska Air Group
 
miamiair
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:16 am

I saw this one afternoon when flying jump seat on a DC-10. There was a new FA that the FE wanted to play a gag on. So the FO pours banana baby food into a barf bag and calls for the new FA to be sent to the cockpit. When she knocks, the door is opened and the FO pretends to be finishing barfing into the bag. He asks the FA to please dispose of it when the FE grabs it and dives into it with a plastic spoon saying " I just love it when its nice and warm!"
needless to say, she was not amused but we laughed until our stomachs hurt.
Molon Labe - Proud member of SMASH
 
jutes85
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 9:24 am

AA used to televise landings from the cockpit of their DC10s.
On one flight the flight engineer put on part of a gorilla suit
on his arm, so periodically the passengers would see a really
hairy arm reaching up to adjust switches and dials.
Pretty funny, but I heard that he got suspended for that


Why would they get suspended for that?
nothing
 
HikesWithEyes
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 10:07 am

Why would they get suspended for that?

Well, there are plenty of nervous flyers out there
and also airline execs who would say that his joke
was unprofessional behaviour.
First, benzene in my Perrier, and now this!
 
nycfuturepilot
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 10:33 am

My friends brother is a pilot for Ghana Airways and one time he put on and eye patch and started walking around the cabin. hahaa
Father, Son, HOYA spirit
 
american762
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 10:53 am

One time sitting on a plane from LAX-JFK, back last year when they flew a 777 flight a few times, I was on that flight seated in J Class when the right engine was reported for maintenance and we were informed by crew that we would be sitting for a period of time. The captain later came back to talk to Business Class FA's and one of the FA's was talking with a passanger about how big the T7's cabin was, the Captain heard this and said intentionally loudly, "I sometimes get lost in the cabin, I often forget where the cockpit is" and continues to proceed loudly "whispering" to the FA, "WHICH WAY TO THE POINTY END"

Me and my dad got a laugh out of it for a good 3 hours.
Pan Am has a place of its' own. You call it the world, we call it home.
 
usnseallt82
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 11:17 am

Sleepyflyboy,

Thanks, I'm not that stupid!  Big thumbs up

Calling into ground clearance with a CE-150, and it is a 150 not 152, as heavy is one thing and is usually consider humorous by ATC when its in rural areas. But doing it on IFR transitions into B airspace is dumb as hell. You don't play around in that sector and they don't play back. Especially when you're by far the little boy on the block.

So, thanks for the advice. Next time read the thread a little more carefully.  Big thumbs up

Cheers!
Crye me a river
 
futureualpilot
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 11:56 am

A friend of mine and my family's is the back seater on F-18D's with the Marine Corps. I was talking with him one night and he said that sometimes at night when they're flying low and fast over the desert, they'll see a freeway (here in Cali its usually I-8), but anyway, they'll go fly right across it with full blower, causing many people to call in reports of UFO's and such. Also, they'll paint different vehicles with their radar and he says its fun to watch the ones with detectors all slow down suddenly cuz they think a cop is painting them.



[Edited 2004-07-28 05:03:21]
Life is better when you surf.
 
infiniti757
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 12:16 pm

Don't know if this is true or just hangar talk, but a friend who worked for Kiwi told me this story.

A new flight attendant was in the forward galley during her first week. The forward lavatory door got stuck. The FA went up to the cockpit to tell the flight engineer and ask him to get it open so she could do her pre-landing check.

On the 727 there is a panel on wall to the right of the flight engineer station, (I think fuel dump valves). The engineer opens up the panel, pretends to look in and proclaims there is no one in the lav. The flight attendant is completely surprised and just goes back into the cabin. The crew had a good laugh.

About 3 days later the flight attendant lead comes up to the guys and scolds them about it. Apparently the new FA would not use the forward lav after that.

Pretty funny!
Give me the luxuries in life and I will gladly do without the necessities. (Frank Lloyd Wright)
 
flyboy36y
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 12:41 pm

I was taking off at ISP when my freind reached behind me and pulled the door open on takeoff. Scared the shit out of me...
 
Kerberos
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 12:50 pm

Heard this once on the scanner:

Tower to approaching 744: "XXXX heavy cleared to land, caution - wake turbulance departing Cessna 182"

744 to tower: (Chuckling) "Rgr cleard to land, copy the turbulance from the little guy..."
This is your captain speaking. I’ve turned off the no-smokin’ sign. Hell, if the plane is smokin' why can't you?
 
brodiebrazil
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 1:22 pm

speaking of listening to the scanner... heard this once from OAK tower...

southwest: oakland tower southwest xxxx on the visual for 2-9er

tower: southwest xxxx, oakland tower, clear for the option on 2-9

southwest: ok, clear for the... huh?

tower: hey it's a nice night for a landing, why not make two?
 
wjcandee
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 1:27 pm

Do funny cockpit statements count? On a recent Airtran flight, the captain was obviously an old ValuJet guy. Funny as hell. Played the harmonica. Demonstrated with the "test" button which were the f/a calls (they all lit up red) and how we should push the OTHER button if we wanted our reading light. And when we were ground held by ATC after departing the gate (I *think* this was the same flight...) told us: "Well, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that air traffic control is holding us here in ____ for another 20 minutes due to weather in Atlanta. The good news is that I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO." Corny, but all the passengers laughed -- and were much more relaxed.

--Bill
 
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TripleDelta
Screener
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 5:37 pm

Don't know if this one's true, sounds a bit dangerous, but apart from that its a good lesson  Smile

This one happened back in the 80s at ZAG. At the times, there was a lot of traffic at ZAG and it would not be uncommon to see 20 or so aircraft lined up on the taxiway for departure - and given the size of ZAG, it was a lot! So one day, an African 707 (can't remember which company) was lined up on the RWY doing the final checks and since the pilot apparently did not know the area and procedures around here well, took it slowly. An empty JAT 727 was number 15 for takeoff, but was standing right beside a taxiway that led to the second quarter of the runway. Behind it was a Lufthansa 737. So, he called to the tower that he's empty and to allow him to takeoff before the 707. The tower controller agreed and the 727 rolled out a couple of hundred meters in front of it and started takeoff.
However, the 737 did not like the 727 cheating in line. The captain, an experienced pilot who, among other types, flew on the 727, watched as the 727 started its takeoff roll. As the plane neared V1, he picked up the mike and armed the Engine Fire selftest. Just before V1, he initiated the self test and put the mike near the speaker so the engine fire tone was heard all over the frequency. After it stopped the 727 radioed an aborted takeoff due to engine fire. As it rolled off the runway, the tower controller reported that he did not see any engine fire, but before the 727 could answer, the 737 said "JAT yyy, Lufthansa zzz, you're number 15 again"  Smile
Hawkeye: "It doesn't make any sense."
Radar: "Well, none of it makes any sense. You just have to send in the right number of forms." - MASH 4077
 
fxra
Posts: 600
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 1999 1:03 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 5:56 pm

Heard on Airtran flts:

"Ladies and Gentleman this is captain (whatever) from the flight deck, we've reached our cruising altitude and i have turned of the seatbelt sign, so feel free to take a leisurely stroll to one our spacious lavatories if so inclined"

Before departure the captain was reading a weather report "Currently the weather in Atlanta is light winds out fo the northeast with some borken clouds... we'll try to have those repaired before arrival"

And most recently, a captain was giving a flight breifing to the passengers, like the wx, route, etc. (it was a 0530 departure) and then at the end he adds "My name is.... and I approved this message"

But, the best stories i have heard were from crews at a former employer... ONe captain introduced the head F/A as the recent winner of the whatever county hog calling competition and urged everyone to wish her luck at state. Another time, he told the passeneger the ISM was a formerly of the circus and holds record for longest distance to be shot from a cannon.

Different captain.. while having a kid look around the cockpit before departure, see the kids a little nervous and asks if it is his first time flying, the kid responds yes and the captain goes "Mine too, and they say if i do real good they'll let me come back next week" Fun stuff
Visualize Whirled Peas
 
ZKSUJ
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:45 pm

Wow, I got to try some of these if/when I become an airline pilot. Great stuff  Big grin
 
KLbambie
Posts: 94
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:53 pm

Nothing as funny as some of these i'm afraid.

We used to swap demo life jackets for real ones when we had new F/A's onboard.
We also had one Senior F/A who liked to discretely tie our Demo kit to the bottom of passengers seats just before the Safety brief.

Both extremely embarrassing but the punters got a kick out of it!
 
pumaknight
Posts: 227
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 3:23 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:11 pm

Two from the early days of Ryan Air - around the time there we ex-eastern block military trained Pilots flying for them and the pilots were threatening strike action for more pay (in line with BA crew for info!!)

1. Pavlov (Captain) says "lady & gentmen - I fly to lutone today" A opening door and a FA mummering in the background can be heard "Oh......no....I fly to Stansted today......"
All PAX look around at each other nervously! Not sure if it was a joke or genuine mistake, but had me smiling for the whole flight!

2. Extremely rough ride on finals into Dublin due to real stormy weather. Pilot does what can only be described as a fantastic job of putting us down safely. He come on the intercom and brashly states "And that's why we get paid so much!!!"

NO URLS in signature
 
andrewuber
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Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 10:45 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:19 pm

This actually happened on an Alaska flight going from Mexico to Seattle in 1999. The crew encountered a problem enroute, and decided to do a precautionary diversion to LAX to have the problem fixed. When they landed, they deplaned all of the passengers except one blind man who was seated in first class. He had a leader dog with him, but didn't want to wander around in the unfamiliar terminal at LAX. The Captain politely asked him if he needed anything and the man replied "It would be great if you could take my dog for a quick walk". The Captain agreed, and took the handle of the dog's collar, put on his dark sunglasses, and proceeded out of the jetway and into the terminal at LAX! Can you imagine the looks on passengers faces as they see him emerge from the jetway?!?  Big thumbs up
I'd rather shoot BAD_MOTIVE
 
Leon8828
Posts: 41
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2003 12:36 pm

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Wed Jul 28, 2004 9:20 pm

I heard about this one from a pilot buddy.

While flying small aircraft, look over your shoulder at the passengers in the back and ask them to adjust the fresh air vent by turning "that knob", while pointing vaguely in the back of the cabin.

When the passenger moves the knob, srcream hysterically, "NO NOT THAT ONE ! ! !" while simultaneously nosing the plane over very steeply.

This may promote sudden, uncontrolled bowel and other excretory functions from you passengers.
 
JET1977
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu May 13, 2004 5:17 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Jul 29, 2004 12:12 am

Hey SlamClick,
Funny stories. I especially liked the one about DC-9, what airline did you fly? Was wondering the meaning of your screen name. I have heard this term used before to describe pilots and flight attendants on layovers.
Thanks

Jet1977
 
wjcandee
Posts: 8986
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2000 12:50 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Jul 29, 2004 4:30 am

"SlamClickers" are pilots and f/as that do not go out partying with the other airline crews on layovers. These are the serious ones, the ones with boyfriends or girlfriends that they actually want to spend time on the phone with, the ones that want to get up early and exercise, the teetotalers, etc.

The "slam-click" comes from the sound of the hotel room door immediately upon arrival as it is closed and locked for the night.

--Bill
 
bohica
Posts: 2440
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2004 3:21 pm

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Jul 29, 2004 12:59 pm

1. The captain sends a new F/A into ops to get the keys to start the plane.

2. The captain rings a new F/A to the cockpit and tells her the plane is overpressurizing a bit. He asks her to help solve the problem by flushing the lav a few times. She does it and comes back to the cockpit to see if everything is fine. He then yells that the plane is losing too much pressure and she needs to seal herself on the lav to keep the plane from depressurizing. She runs back to the lav and is sits on it butt naked while the pilots are laughing for the rest of the flight.

3. Ever notice that when the F/A is making announcements they never put the earpiece next to their ear. To many of them have been victimized by pilots saying something into their ears making them abruptly stop their announcements mid-sentence.
 
KAUST
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Jul 29, 2004 1:23 pm

I heard that Robin Williams once played a prank on upstairs passengers of a 747 in mid-flight. He borrowed an extra flight suit from the crew and snuck to the back of the seating area, ducked into a lav and put on the suit. He then went seat to seat greeting people, while moving towards the front of the plane. The Captain, then was doing the same thing moving towards the back of the plane, eventually the two met and and "Aren't you flying the plane?" "No! I thought you were flying the plane!" And both bolted towards the cockpit. Not sure it if it true or just an urban legend but it is always great to hear my friend tell it.

KAUST
"Houston, this is Apollo 8. We are now in Lunar orbit."
 
planespotting
Posts: 3026
Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 4:54 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Jul 29, 2004 1:32 pm

A friend of mine flies parachute jumpers in Lancaster wisconsin. He's about my age (21) and a CFI-I and all that shit. and so one day this jumper who is goin up for the first time comes up:

Guy: "You're the pilot!? aren't you a little young for that?
Matt: "well, im not really a pilot yet, i have a few more internet classes to take but i think i can handle it"


ohh the hilarity. oh and one day i flew the Cessna into Midway, and we heard this exchange on the radio:

ATC: Airtran xxx cleared to runway 22R via taxiway Alpha, turn right on C2 proceed across 22L and make a left on Delta, hold short 22R.
Plane: Airtran xxx cleared to runway 22R and ughhhhh....come again?



Do you like movies about gladiators?
 
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Buyantukhaa
Posts: 2327
Joined: Thu May 13, 2004 5:33 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Fri Jul 30, 2004 12:00 am

A friend of mine told this story a few years ago:

On a LH flight from Frankfurt to Porto, while waiting for the last passengers to board, the captain announces through the PA: "Ladies & gentlemen, welcome on board this flight [bla bla, usual stuff]" and then forgets to switch off the mike. He then turns to the F/O and says "OK, first we'll have a coffee and then we'll f*** a stewardess". Some F/A's in the back galley realised what was happening and one of them ran forward to warn the flight crew. That's when one passenger shouted: "Hey, wait! They have to drink coffee first!" *hilarious laughter in cabin* F/A was not seen the entire flight.

Disclaimer: as I'm sure the average passenger plane has some internal communication line between cockpit and galley, this is probably urban legend....
I scratch my head, therefore I am.
 
COAMiG29
Posts: 500
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 10:30 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Aug 05, 2004 2:52 pm

I saw this on the internet and thought you might enjoy it so here it is.

Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean." The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation, but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency, and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane, and all the swimmers are on the right side."
After this announcement, all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later, the captain made a belly landing in the ocean.
The captain once again made an announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... "Thank You For Flying Lufthansa."



--COAMiG29--
If Continental had a hub at DFW with nonstop flights I would always fly them, unfortunantely good things take time.
 
COAMiG29
Posts: 500
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 10:30 am

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Aug 05, 2004 2:57 pm

i would like to add that this did not happen, we can only hope.

the website for this is http://cargotracking.utopiax.org/jokes1.html

--COAMiG29--
If Continental had a hub at DFW with nonstop flights I would always fly them, unfortunantely good things take time.
 
tbanger
Posts: 253
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:11 pm

RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Aug 05, 2004 7:00 pm

An old tale that I will always remember is:

Army Troops travelling on RAAF C-47's used to play pranks on the pilot. Often they would all get up and move to the front of the cabin, hence the pilot having to dramatically re-trim the aircraft. They would wait a few minutes and then all move to the back. When the pilots realised what was going on they would get their own back.

The captain would have a nut with a length of string tied around the end. He would open his left side window and allow the nut to flap against the side of the fuselage hence making a tapping sound. After a minute or so, he would feather and shutdown the left engine.

This would force the troops back to their seats. After about 5 minutes had passed, the F/O would open his right side window and feed the nut down the right side of the fuse....The troops would behave from now on.

-------------------

Not a practical joke but a funny comment I heard on local news once. A Dakota National Air DC-3 from Bankstown (Sydney) used to do joy flights at weekends. On one particular Saturday afternoon, this DC-3 had low engine oil pressure in the left engine and the Captain elected to shut the engine down. Being quite a way out from Bankstown, he declared a PAN and BK Tower was notified of the problem and so the EMS and Media were swarming around the airport when it arrived back.

One reporter asked the Captain what went wrong and his reply was: "Well I looked out my window at the left engine and noticed that their wasnt any oil running out, so I shut it down."





 
JJMNGR
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RE: Pilot Practical Jokes

Thu Aug 05, 2004 9:52 pm

I was on board an AA flight outbound St. Marteen to MIA and the captain speach was..." ladies and gentlemen, this is your capt. spaeking..very wellcome on board this flight to MIA on this very sunny afternoon...you look to the window on your right side and all this gorgeous sea on our and may be questioning...what am I doing here??? I confess you all guys I did it when I jumped here in the cockpit...by the way this flight is going to take 8 hours, but as you are flying with the very best crew ever, it will take only 2 hours and 15 mins..."

I found it funny..first time ever saw something like this and I liked it very much!

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