kevi747
Topic Author
Posts: 991
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2001 5:59 pm

You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 4:19 am

1. You can eat a 4 course meal standing at the kitchen counter
2. You search for a button to flush the toilet
3. You look for the "crew line" at the grocery store
4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard
5. All of your pens have different hotel names on them
6. You NEVER unpack
7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by their faces
8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin
9. You care about the local news in a city three states away
10. You can tie a neck scarf 36 ways
11. You know at least 25 uses for air sickness bags-none of which pertain to vomit
12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock
13. You own 2 sets of uniforms: fat and thin
14. You don't think in "months"-you think in "bid packs"
15. You always point with two fingers
16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice
17. You stand at the front door and politely say "Buh-bye, thanks, have a nice day" when someone leaves your home
18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: "At this time, " "For your safety, " "Feel free, " and "As a reminder"
19. You know what's on the cover of the current issues of In Touch, Star, and People magazines
20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to make sure the "gauge is in the green"
21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are
23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
24. Every time the doorbell rings you look at the ceiling.
25. You actually understand every item on this list


Someone e-mailed this to me a long time ago and I lost it. I was so happy to find it again on a retired F/A's website. Too funny!!

PS: I did a search and didn't see anything so please don't kill me if you've read it here before.
"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." --Stephen Colbert
 
EWRCabincrew
Posts: 4314
Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 2:37 am

RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 4:21 am

All sad but true (hangs head in shame). Very funny, though. Good chuckles for a lot of them. Thank you for sharing.
You can't cure stupid
 
MP
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 4:23 am

Lol, absolutely true.

Well, I dunno if I'll end up like this.............
 
TurkishWings
Posts: 1244
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 4:43 am

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
1. You can eat a 4 course meal standing at the kitchen counter
2. You search for a button to flush the toilet



Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
5. All of your pens have different hotel names on them
6. You NEVER unpack
7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by their faces
8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin
9. You care about the local news in a city three states away



Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock



Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
17. You stand at the front door and politely say "Buh-bye, thanks, have a nice day" when someone leaves your home
18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: "At this time, " "For your safety, " "Feel free, " and "As a reminder"
19. You know what's on the cover of the current issues of In Touch, Star, and People magazines
20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to make sure the "gauge is in the green"
21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are
23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
24. Every time the doorbell rings you look at the ceiling.
25. You actually understand every item on this list

All of the above happened to me for about a year after I quit  Smile Some still continues...

When I am flying as a passenger and I hear a chime, I automatically look at the ceiling  Smile And I still wipe around the sink everytime I use it  Smile
Coffee - Tea or Me?
 
iadguy73
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 7:30 am

You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

26. You are a US Airways flight attendant.  duck   stirthepot 
 
MX77W
Posts: 86
Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:57 pm

RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 8:11 am

Even for me as a former ticket counter agent... I still do some of those things... funny, funny, funny

 Big grin

MX 77W
Mexicana lives on...
 
GlobalATL
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 8:15 am

Quoting IADguy73 (Reply 4):
You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

27. If you're based out of SFO, LAX, SEA, PDX. Did I miss any other bases?

[Edited 2007-05-04 01:17:30]
TriStar BusinessElite FedEx AirTran Delta Air Lines oneworld SkyTeam JetBlue/jetBlue MAXjet SkyMiles Eos = good spelling
 
kevi747
Topic Author
Posts: 991
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 8:23 am

Quoting MX77W (Reply 5):
Even for me as a former ticket counter agent... I still do some of those things... funny, funny, funny

Yeah, I bet you guys can relate!

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice

I think this is my favorite. So true to life. I bet many F/A's would even be able to tell (C.S.I. Miami-style) which station a bag of ice came from just by its shape and condition. .

Examples:

A large solid frozen block of ice sloshing around in water: MIA.  thumbsdown 

Thickly shaped, completely frozen but not stuck together (so you don't have to chop it with a mallet at all): LHR.  bigthumbsup 
"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." --Stephen Colbert
 
Speedbirdie
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 8:34 am

Quoting GlobalATL (Reply 6):
27. If you're based out of SFO, LAX, SEA, PDX. Did I miss any other bases?

Oooh, dont leave out the pit of LHR our young american friend!

Quoting Kevi747 (Reply 7):
Thickly shaped, completely frozen but not stuck together (so you don't have to chop it with a mallet at all): LHR.

Our ice is constantly frozen together. We had a new trial of ice tongs recently, a few CSDs got excited about that and wouldn't let them out of their pockets as other crew were not trained how to use them!!
I must admit I do get quite excited about ice at outstations, its so much better Big grin
Never give up..
 
kevi747
Topic Author
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 8:57 am

Quoting Speedbirdie (Reply 8):
Our ice is constantly frozen together.

Awww, I'm sorry. Maybe it's packed differently at AA. I love the ice out of Heathrow. It's just so......ready.  Smile
"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." --Stephen Colbert
 
MCOflyer
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:07 am

Add these:

You insert the girt bar every time you get in to drive.
You talk like your on the pa when talking to fellow friends.

Hunter
Never be afraid to stand up for who you are.
 
Dtw757
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:10 am

You've been a flight attendant too long if you can say that you flew with North Central Airlines. One of the flight attendants on my FRA-DTW flight was talking that she started with North Central way back. I shouldn't say that she has been there too long however because she was a very friendly lady but to say you started at North Central.....I'd say that puts here doing that job for a LONG time.
721,2,732,3,4,5,G,8,9,741,2,3,4,752,3,762,3,4,772,3,788,D93,5,M80,D10,M11,L10,100,AB6,319,20,21,332,3,346,388,146,CR2,7,
 
nwa757boy
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:20 am

I, too get very excited about different types of ice. lol. I like a ice that the cubes are all broken and easy to scoop. That brightens my day in the morning. Ice that comes in a big block that I need to beat the sh!t out of, that doesnt make me happy.
 
afrikaskyes
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:38 am

You chat on your cell phone while passengers are deplaning at the door on a CRJ. YOU deplane before all the passengers deplane on a CRJ.
 
LHFADUS
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:53 am

28. if you keep searching for the brakes on your shopping-cart, while in the super-market.

29. if you ask your visitors whether they want sparkling or still water.

Quoting Speedbirdie (Reply 8):
Our ice is constantly frozen together.

oh yes, LHR. we bring our own returnflight catering from germany now, so i haven't had one of those giant ice-cubes in years. but i will most definitely not forget them. the catering-guy taught me a real cool trick, after i once complained about that clump of ice: he just dropped it on to the floor of his catering-truck.....!  idea 
 
kevi747
Topic Author
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 10:17 am

Quoting LHFADUS (Reply 14):
28. if you keep searching for the brakes on your shopping-cart, while in the super-market.

 bigthumbsup  That's awesome!!!!! We should just keep extending out the list.

Quoting LHFADUS (Reply 14):
oh yes, LHR. we bring our own returnflight catering from germany now, so i haven't had one of those giant ice-cubes in years.

Man, we must be lucky at AA. You guys have all had bad experiences there.  confused 
"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." --Stephen Colbert
 
Ken777
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 10:26 am

30. Your spouse ask if you would please get them a beer and you tell them you are only there for their safety and they can get their own damn beer.

31. The not-so-hot paxs stop asking what hotel you're staying at.

32. When giving the kids a soft drink they only get half a can.

33. You can remember when business men actually wore suits when flying and you were able to remove any stain they got on their tie.

34. You can remember when overhead bins didn't have doors.
 
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BreninTW
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 10:38 am

Quoting LHFADUS (Reply 14):
he just dropped it on to the floor of his catering-truck

I used to do that at the ice-cream factory I worked at -- we had 15 kg blocks of frozen water -- drop it on the concrete floor -- instant usable ice! The other trick was to whack it with a 2" spanner (don't ask me where the owner got that from!)
 
EasyVictor
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:01 am

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are

Oh my God! That reminds me of 3:00AM wake up calls and jumping up trying to figure out where I was or what I was doing. It always had me freaked out for about 5 seconds. Then the search for the phone or note pad to remember where the hell I was.

You've been a flight attendant too long if you look at all the passengers from your jumpseat and wonder what the hell I am doing here looking at all these ugly people - I should be somewhere else.

You've been an AA flight attendant too long when you know all the grafitti on the closet door opposite the S80 L1 jumpseat on every S80. You realize there are over 300 S80's but you remember the last time you read that Captain such and such wears a tupee, First Officer such and such is gay or DFW ho's are scAAbs,,,,,,,,,,.
 
FLY2LIM
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 12:43 pm

Quoting IADguy73 (Reply 4):
You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

OK, I was on an AA A300 on a flight to LIM and there was a very senior F/A (Aida was her name, the poor soul) who couldn't walk fast enough to catch up to the dinner cart. The gal was pulling it up the aisle and she had to run to catch up to it. She was a very short, very elderly F/A and the first thought I had was that "she's been a flight attendant too long," so when I saw this thread I laughed.

Quoting Ken777 (Reply 16):
30. Your spouse ask if you would please get them a beer and you tell them you are only there for their safety and they can get their own damn beer.

Or you pour a guest in your home a glass of wine and charge them $5.00?

Quoting EasyVictor (Reply 18):
You've been a flight attendant too long if you look at all the passengers from your jumpseat and wonder what the hell I am doing here looking at all these ugly people - I should be somewhere else.

Darn, THAT'S WHY she was staring at me during takeoff, lmao.

FLY2LIM
Faucett. La primera linea aerea del Peru.
 
aacun
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 12:53 pm

You've been an AA flight attendant too long......... if you used to be based in BUF...............
 
nzblue
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 1:27 pm


  • ...When your doorbell rings, you look at the ceiling.
  • ...When you get home from a trip, you check under your bed, in the closet, and behind the shower curtain.
  • ...When you think three alarm clocks isn't excessive.
It's an entirely different kind of flying; all together.
 
WesternA318
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 1:32 pm

Quoting IADguy73 (Reply 4):
You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

If on your first day of flying it took you eight hours to get from Los Angeles to Salt Lake, stopped in Vegas, AND had to issue chewing gum to the 12 pax!
 
jetdeltamsy
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 2:14 pm

Add to the list "When every one of your employers filed for bankruptcy."

That's what happened to me. Eastern. Pan Am (briefly). Delta.

My experience did make me a hopeless cheapskate/tightwad and I am (somewhat) financially sound in spite of the status of my employers. Much better off than most of my co-workers, but only through scrimping and saving since I was 20 years old.

I've recently joined an airline as a low-level manager that hasn't (yet) filed for bankruptcy. If I work until I'm 65, I should get a decent pension from this outfit.

But I fully expect by the time I'm 65, the world will have changed again. Oil supplies and/or terrorism will have been disruptive to the point that every airline goes bust.

It's sad to say, but i'm betting my retirement on an inheritance that is still years away and the money I managed to save.
Tired of airline bankruptcies....EA/PA/TW and finally DL.
 
davidkunzVIE
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 4:38 pm

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
You refer to cities by their airport codes

Hey, that's what I'm doing.
DH3 DH4 CR1 CR2 CR7 CR9 F70 732 733 734 73G 738 752 762 763 772 742 743 319 320 321 333 343
 
trent1000
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 6:57 pm

If you ask your children/partner "Beef or chicken"? before dinner without much thought about what actually to prepare...
 
n318ea
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 7:33 pm

You can remember actually (US) serving meals!  Smile
Red Red Red Red Red Neck!
 
Stealthz
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 7:54 pm

OK, I am not in the industry but there was a period where most of the above applied, I probably flew as much as some F/As certainly as much as some pilots.
But bringing it back to the industry

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are

I know a longhaul pilot married to a longhaul FA, they never have any idea where the other is except when they are home together... in the old days they would keep track of each others schedules so they could call and talk... cell phones have made them lazy, they still talk but have no idea where the other is most of the time.

Cheers
If your camera sends text messages, that could explain why your photos are rubbish!
 
PA101
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 8:14 pm

Quote:
12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock

LOL...
As with the metric system, everyone around the globe - expect for US-Americans - uses that...
 
FlyingColours
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 8:33 pm

What about constantly being in Zulu time regardless of where you are?

You can say you have worked on, DC8, 707 and in the UK the L1011.

Great list, I can safley say most of them apply to me too, I've got our crewcall Hi-Lo as my message tone on my phone too...

As for the ice, you can get the best Ice in Greece, KGS and RHO have the best supplies, perfect blocks which don't stick. MAN ice is hit and miss really, we sometimes have to pour some boiling water on there to try and help loosen it up, of course dropping the bag on the galley floor does the trick sometimes.

Quoting EasyVictor (Reply 18):
Oh my God! That reminds me of 3:00AM wake up calls and jumping up trying to figure out where I was or what I was doing. It always had me freaked out for about 5 seconds. Then the search for the phone or note pad to remember where the hell I was.

Definitly agree there, if you have ever stayed at the Sofiatel (LGW) and have used their wake up call service, the phone sounds like a fire alarm. Try not realising that and standing out in the corridor at 4am with your trousers in your hand and your keycard in the room  Sad

Phil
FlyingColours
Lifes a train racing towards you, now you can either run away or grab a chair & a beer and watch it come - Phil
 
JoeCanuck
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 8:57 pm

You guys are cracking me up. I've flown enough miles to have seen these effects on a great many of you. Keep up the great work. Some of us appreciate it...
What the...?
 
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B747-437B
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:02 pm

Quoting FlyingColours (Reply 29):
What about constantly being in Zulu time regardless of where you are?

What about simply understanding what Zulu time means!  Smile
 
Gemuser
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:23 pm

Quoting PA101 (Reply 28):
As with the metric system, everyone around the globe - expect for US-Americans - uses that...

Actually that ones not just the Americans! I don't think in ANY English speaking country the public uses the 24 hour clock. Certainly The US, UK, OZ & NZ don't and Im pretty sure SA don't.

Gemuser
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georgiaame
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:36 pm

Sorry fella, but I'm a bit jealous. They are all better than "turn your head, and cough"
"Trust, but verify!" An old Russian proverb, quoted often by a modern American hero
 
DAYflyer
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 9:58 pm

Very funny thread, thanks for sharing. I would like to add one to the list:

30. You walk down the aisle of your minivan to make sure all the seatbelts are fastened, tray tables are locked and seat backs are in the fully upright position before leaving the shopping mall parking lot.
One Nation Under God
 
HBJZA
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 10:22 pm

I also would like to add one

31. When flying as PAX and during the flight one fellow PAX leaves the overhead locker open after getting something out of it, you jump out of your seat and run to close it quickly.........(it really happened to me, what a shame !!!!!)
 
bastew
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 10:25 pm

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard

Still can't manage this one. Still usually check my delsey into the hold, even if it is just a 24 hour slip in NYC. Who knows what the night will bring downroute, need to pack for all options that might arise!  Wink
 
IAHFLYR
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 10:26 pm

 rotfl 

Tis an ill mind who thought this all up......love it!

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard

MMMMM not sure what this says about me as I've not yet been a flight attendant but have been to Europe for 2 week trip and packed all 1 roll-aboard.
Any views shared are strictly my own and do not a represent those of any former employer.
 
wilco737
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 10:50 pm

good one  Wink

I am not an F/A though, but I had a good laugh...

WILCO737 (MD11)
 airplane 
 
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B747-437B
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 10:53 pm

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows



Quoting LHFADUS (Reply 14):
if you keep searching for the brakes on your shopping-cart

Big version: Width: 2560 Height: 1706 File size: 677kb


If you can look at the above picture and realise that it was caused by your colleague forgetting to lock her brakes and hence jamming someone's foot between the cart and a seat.
 
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zeke
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:20 pm

32. You call ahead or use a code to get into the cockpit on your boat.
Human rights lawyers are "ambulance chasers of the very worst kind.'" - Sky News
 
brilondon
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:21 pm

This happens to apply to us people in business who fly two to three times a week. Excellent thread.  laughing 
Rush for ever; Yankees all the way!!
 
BN727
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:26 pm

Don't forget:
You've been a Flight Atendant to long if you started out as a stewardess....
 
CanadianNorth
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:32 pm

Quoting Ken777 (Reply 16):
You can remember when overhead bins didn't have doors.

Air North still has that on the Hawkers...


CanadianNorth
HS-748, like a 747 but better!
 
ConcordeBoy
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:36 pm

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
23. You refer to cities by their airport codes

That's just a sign that you're a FrequentFlyer in general

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
24. Every time the doorbell rings you look at the ceiling.

ROFL!
Faire du ciel le plus bel endroit de la terre c'est impossible sans Concorde!
 
JoeCanuck
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:50 pm

Quoting Ken777 (Reply 16):
34. You can remember when overhead bins didn't have doors.

You might be a flight attendant on a Tu 134 in Ukraine. The rack above the seats might be big enough to hold a small coat...certainly nothing that could be described as a bag...
What the...?
 
flashflyguy
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:52 pm

Great thread. I once witnessed my cousin and his friend (both FA's) have "an episode" on my local bus, we were all sitting on the back seat. As the bus came into the bus stop most of the passengers got up, to get ready to get off. They both automatically reached behind their heads for the intercom, to tell them to sit down.  rotfl  Needless to say we gave them both a  bigthumbsup  for it.
 
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B747-437B
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Fri May 04, 2007 11:53 pm

Quoting Ken777 (Reply 16):
You can remember when overhead bins didn't have doors.

You can remember when they were called "hat racks" and not "overhead bins".
 
ncelhr
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Sat May 05, 2007 12:03 am

33. You still have the habit of announcing "Extinguish your Cigarettes" before "and Fasten your Seat Belts".
 
lincoln
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RE: You've Been A Flight Attendant Too Long If...

Sat May 05, 2007 12:18 am

I'm not a flight attendant (though I have been asked if I was one...), but....

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
All of your pens have different hotel names on them

Yup. I just came to this realization the other day. I have 6 or 7 Hiltons, a couple Double Trees, one very lonely Embassy Suites, and a few dozen Hampton Inns spread between my apartment and my office

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
You NEVER unpack

Just this morning I was thinking I should probably put my suitcase away.

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
You always point with two fingers

You know if you work for Disney you can be fired for not pointing with two fingers?

Quoting Kevi747 (Thread starter):
You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are

Sadly most hotel stationary no longer includes this information...at least at the hotels I wind up staying at. Sometimes the phones don't even have it (and of course, those that don't usually don't have phonebooks in the room.) In one case I even resorted to looking out the window and trying to figure it out based on the license plates of cars in the parking lot,

Quoting FlyingColours (Reply 29):
What about constantly being in Zulu time regardless of where you are?

Ok. I'll admit I don't use UCT in my day-to-day life, but I never change my clocks from Eastern. I just mentally add or subtract time as necessary -- it seems easier for me, this way.

Lincoln
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