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Guest

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 10:56 am

"Westjet begins service to Kamloops, B.C"........I don't think it will ever happen, and if it does it will be when westjet buys some turboprop aircraft(like thats likely).
 
flyguy1
Posts: 1753
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 1999 9:45 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 10:59 am

-Richard Branson named chairman of BA.
-Coach class airline food is wonderful
-Major 717 order by AA.
727, L1011, MD80, A300, 777-200, 737-300, 737-700, 747-400, 757-200, 737-800, A320. E190, E135, 767-200, CRJ9
 
Guest

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 11:06 am

"SQ retires all A340s and 744s in favor of new Space Shuttles."

"SWA orders 10 A320 just for fun."

"Northwest hates old planes."

"DC-9s are sure as hell quiet in the back."

"Airbus CEO orders one BBJ."

"Boeing buys Airbus."

"Airbus buys Boeing."

"United orders A321 to replace 757."

"British Airways welcomes drunk passengers."

"KLM places major order for 707s."




There are 100's of them!
 
DEN-HNL
Posts: 162
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2000 8:38 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 11:17 am

International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers (IAM) name Frank Lorenzo man of the year!!!
 
access-air
Posts: 1577
Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2000 5:30 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 12:03 pm

1. Airline Deregualtion Act of 1978 Null and Void.

2. All post Deregulation Airline mergers Null and Void.

3. The US Sees the return of Braniff, National(original), Pan Am(original), Piedmont, Southern, North Central, People Express, Ozark, Hughes Airwest , Reno Air, PSA, Air Cal, Wein Air Alaska, Midway(out of MDW), Britt, PBA, Air Illinois, Ramsome, Allegheny, Golden West, Texas International, Mississippi Valley and a few others retrenching and back in business.

3. American and United kicked out of Heathrow in favour of TWA and Pan AM.

4. All noise regulations become null and void!

5. Twin engined transoceanic flights probitied by law.

6.Production resumed witht he following aircraft:
DC9, BAC-111, Caravelle, L1011, CV880/990 (smoke free or smoking option).

7.Airbus finally admits the A318/319/320/321 Fly By Wire service is as safe as the original unmodified DC10 cargo doors.

8. The ATR42/72 recalled for defective wing design and decalred permenantly unairworthy.

9. Larger airliners to once again server smaller US cities.

10. People living around airports that complain about noise stop bitching.

11. Concorde is ordered by TWA and PAN AM to compete in Trans Atlantic routes.

12. UAL and AAL stripped of international status and bumped back down to Trunk Airlines.

13. Northwest to readopt "Orient" titles.

14. All US carriers dump all A320/319 aircraft. (see #7.)

Access-Air
Remember, Wherever you go, there you are!!!!
 
MrFord
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2001 9:03 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 12:05 pm

- Airbus 340-300 beats Boeing 757-200 3 time out of 4 in climbing test at MTOW

- A Boeing 727-51 reached 41 000' without JATO enroute BOS from LGA with a full load of pax

- Paint of Dorval's gates stop to peeling off; ADM is willing to invest as much money as necessary to upgrade Dorval and Mirabel and made them profitable

- Parcometers introduced at Dorval's gates - or how to paid theses f***ing constructions

- Airbag are now standard for captain; co-pilot's airbag in option and only can ben ordered with the right mirror and manual transmission

- GreenPeace upgraded his fleet with Convair 880 and 707-121

- FAA resolve congestion problem at LGA, DFW, ORD... : Minimum air separation reduced to 50' and ½NM and aircraft are authorized to take-off two-by-two to save time

- "It's now safer to drive on the Métropolitain at 5PM in a twin-turbo Lada Samara at 130MPH than to take the plane, at the exception of Korean Air" experts saids

That's my guesses  Smile

PS.: The Métropolitain is the main highway at Montréal and had this little tendency to be congestionned at peak hours...  Smile
"For radar identification throw your jumpseat rider out the window."
 
TWA717_200
Topic Author
Posts: 1410
Joined: Tue Nov 23, 1999 3:51 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 1:19 pm

I thought this topic might lead to some good humor but....Man!

Thanks, all, for the contributions.

Had to stop reading it at work. People were starting to wonder at my laughter.

 
Guest

Anyone Ever Heard This:

Thu May 31, 2001 2:30 pm

It was kinda funny, my dad sent me a whole page of funnny news headlines, one of them said:

"Something went wrong in plane crash, experts say."

LOL!



Here is some more:

"Swissair signs contract for 107 Cessna 152s"

"Boeing and Airbus CEOs got into a fist fight."

"747 wings falls off in flight."
 
Guest

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 4:48 pm

Avensa bought 10 777s

Embraer buys Boeing

Qantas airplane crashed after takeoff in SYD

Boeing launches Next Generation 727s

American carriers to go for an all Airbus Fleet

Airbus CEO's daughter marry Boeing CEO's son

"Tupolev introduces Stage 3 TU134's"

Concorde flies again







 
User avatar
BNE
Posts: 2928
Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2000 9:37 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Thu May 31, 2001 8:16 pm

Continental to restart Service to the South Pacific.
Airtran to be renamed as Eastern Airlines.
2010, the 717 the most popular aircraft model of the last ten years.
Virgin Blue to reconfigure their aircraft with 34" pitch.
Virgin move in on Canadian market as the government relaxes ownership limits.

Why fly non stop when you can connect
 
redngold
Posts: 6686
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2000 12:26 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 12:47 am

"Southwest adopts new c/s; dried-bone white and barrel-cactus green"

"Airlines admit: spotters more reliable than ground radar."

"Congress passes spotter-friendly airport construction legislation"

"Continental admits that Southwest was at Dallas Love Field first"

"Continental says Embraer not good, going to all-ATR service"

"USAirways admits Allegheny Commuter flights overpriced"

"Pittsburgh says USAirways out, Vanguard in as hub carrier"

"Pilots admit: we like LGA landings, we just complain so the passengers don't think we're insane"

"America West: tired of being misspelled, we're changing to American West"

"United: we're too big, we're splitting up"
followed by
"PANAM: we're buying United assets"

"Northwest abandons DTW, moves to ORD"

"ORD says one hub carrier enough"
Up, up and away!
 
imkeww
Posts: 676
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2001 1:48 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 12:57 am

"A Tribute to Stephen Wolf"

"In Honour of Goodwin's Glorious Reign at United"

"United ranked best US airline" <-- no matter how much they try, THIS will never happen, though we all wish it =)
 
deltairlines
Posts: 7222
Joined: Mon May 24, 1999 4:47 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 1:16 am

BNE, just to let you in, CO serves the South Pacific, flying 738s to CNS.

Here's some of mine:
Boston operates at full capacity in winter noreaster
NIMBYs change their mind about BED expansion
Southwest starts service on BOS-LGA against DL and US
PTVs in every seat of every plane
The ALPA disappears off the face of this planet!

Jeff
 
L-1011Alpha
Posts: 296
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2000 8:23 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 2:24 am

" I saw a concorde @ SJU"

"NAVY leaves Vieques"

"Airbus says,"Boeing is the Best"

" I flew a B777 "

"For Us, Sky is not the limit.. Its Ground" / L-1011Alpha.
 
VgnAtl747
Posts: 1333
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2001 3:59 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 2:28 am

No baggage was lost at Chicago O'Hare today!

There was a Continental Express passenger that actually liked the service!
Work Hard. Fly Right. Continental Airlines
 
User avatar
airpearl
Posts: 860
Joined: Tue May 01, 2001 7:42 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 2:35 am

"Singapore Airlines and Malaysia Airlines get back together: Malaysia-Singapore Airlines (MSA) reinstated!"

 
jaysit
Posts: 10185
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2000 11:50 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 3:01 am

"Ariana Afghan Air to hire all female cockpit crew for new non-stop Boeing 777 services to New York"

"Singapore Airlines to hire first Plus size flight attendants."

"Delta to serve full meals on flights of 45 minutes or more."

"Bombay Airport voted best airport in the World."

"SouthWest to purchase Airbus A340s for Phoenix-Albuquerque shuttle services"







Atheism is Myth Understood.
 
AA767Boy
Posts: 93
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2000 7:54 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 3:10 am

1. Boeing going out of busines

2.Airbus = good

3. Airliners.net sucks (never see that one)

4.Concordes declared air-worthy

5. Airliners.net logo being changed to A380

6. Fokker plans to build new widebody called F-U

7. AA offers none stop flights OKC-LHR

A A 7 6 7 B o y
 
Boeing757/767
Posts: 2183
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 1999 11:05 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 3:40 am

American, Delta and Continental ditch Boeing for Airbus.
Free-thinking, left-leaning secularist
 
Guest

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 4:06 am

-Cargolux and Atlas Air to introduce PTV's on their code-sharing-flights between Lux .and the USA

-Air Zaire named officially"airline of the olympic games" 2004

-Luxair considers acquiring ex-Delta -L1011's for planned transatlantic services.

-LH and UA -pax are very impressed with the low noise level of the MD-90 airliner .

-BA-Concorde was given stage 3-certification for the new scheduled services to Orange-county John Wayne-airport.

-Il-76,VC-10 and Concorde most -spotted planes on John Wayne-Airport in Orange-county.

-The MD-11 prod.line just experiences a major order boost.

-The A380 will not be built in the end.

-Why did the DC-3 never become a sucess?
 
Delta717
Posts: 460
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2000 8:56 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 4:54 am

I just had to post more!

"American to Paint All of Their Planes in the ex-Reno scheme"

"David Neeleman resigns as CEO of jetBlue"

"MDW was finally re-modeled"

"There is no more construction at Kennedy or Newark"

"Aeroflot shows a profit"

"jetBlue raises their prices"

"Key West residents want UPS to fly their DC-8s in"

"Southwest disposes of all 737s, looking towards bigger planes"

"American and United retire 727s"

"EgyptAir 990 Co-Pilot's family finally admit that the crash wasn't the first time he was suicidal"

"Gordon Bethune admits Frank Lorenzo did a better job than him"

"United drops out of Star Alliance-looking to join SKYTEAM"

"BA and VS merge to form British Virgin Atlantic Airways"

"British Airways opens two new subsidiaries--BOAC and BEA"

"PAN AM flies a new route"

"LGA isn't slot restricted anymore"

"Midway decides to buy A320s again"

"Boeing decides to stop 737 production"

"Boeing's Sonic Cruiser has just been rolled out"

"I Lost 50 lbs. on Airline Food"

"Delta leases two 747's from ILFC"
 
L-1011Alpha
Posts: 296
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2000 8:23 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 6:01 am

"AA changes its livery"
"For Us, Sky is not the limit.. Its Ground" / L-1011Alpha.
 
prebennorholm
Posts: 7145
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2000 6:25 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 6:35 am

Last DC-3 being retired.

Last DC-4 being retired.

Last DC-6 being retired.

Last DC-8 being retired.

Last DC-9 being retired.

Last DC-10 being retired.

And:
TEDSKI seen flying on a GE powered plane. (Sorry, I just couldn't resist)  Acting devilish.

Best regards, Preben Norholm
Always keep your number of landings equal to your number of take-offs
 
redngold
Posts: 6686
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2000 12:26 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 9:12 am

"Fokker revived with new model called 'Mothership.'"
I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

"Frank Lorenzo hiring for startup"

"Hughes: TWA was supposed to be a write-off!"

"BKL to expand, become Cleveland's primary"

"JFK sinking, EWR to be NYC's only international airport"

"LGA to expand, East River not necessary"

"American to buy & fly 744's in TWA colors"

"FAA asks spotters to direct ground traffic"






Up, up and away!
 
tupolev154b2
Posts: 1269
Joined: Mon Jun 26, 2000 9:01 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 9:57 am

"TEDSKI seen flying on a GE powered plane."

HAHAHAHAHA!

Some other ones:

"The PLAAF Detonates a United Airlines 777"

"777 vs. DC-3"

"American Airlines A319 Downed Near Moscow"
 
Delta717
Posts: 460
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2000 8:56 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 10:06 am

The Tupelov Tu 144 Flying again
 
Guest

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 11:44 am

"El Al announces plans to open new hub in Tehran, Iranians giddy!"

"Airbus announces new 3 seater A313, 320 family member. Us Air orders 15, plans to resturcture PHL/PIT transatlantic service."

"Boeing test flies new next generation 747."

"Southwest announces new LAX-BUR-SNA-ONT-SNA-BUR-LAX 737 service."

"Cubana joins star alliance."

"Tupolev hurting Airbus/Boeing sales."

"JFK construction completed after 50 years."

"UA announces DCA-LHR non-stop, says [email protected]$K the feds and their 1250 mile rule!"

"Jet Blue changes name to TWA, takes over Terminal 5 at JFK, and announces return to aviation golden days with 707 round the world flight, and UD 747 lounge."

"Airbus planes actually ARE .0005% more efficient than Boeing."

"A380 v. B707. What do you think?"

"Wolfgang Puck to oversee new UA Y class menu."

"China Airlines announces buy out of China Eastern. Mao rolls over in his grave."

"AA announces mass pilot hiring. Looks to ex-Aeroflot pilots."
3 months later...
"Pilot's kid crashes AA 767 into LAX encounter restaurant. No one notices."

"Tree-Huggers claim that planes are negatively affecting the hearing of birds. Air Traffic in the US halted until further studies are done on deaf birds."
 
trintocan
Posts: 2790
Joined: Sun Apr 23, 2000 6:02 pm

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 1:27 pm

A few more:
Dassault announces new and improved Mercure 200!

BWIA and Air Jamaica are merging!

AA forms a major hub in ATL!

Air Caribbean is the national carrier of Trinidad and Tobago to LHR!

LHR has more flights, less congestion and flights to any US city!

Tower Air is #1 for service and on-time performance!

Valujet returns to the skies!

 Smile
Trintocan.
Hop to it, fly for life!
 
Guest

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 2:08 pm

Kansai isnt sinking no more

Hong Kong Intl closed, Kai Tak Reopens spotters are now happy again

Gulfstream to expand service to LHR

American paints all of their aircraft to the Retro Jet Scheme

JetBlue opens feeder carrier named PropBlue flying B1900d's
 
high_flyr69
Posts: 497
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2001 6:19 am

The Truth

Fri Jun 01, 2001 8:51 pm

The truth for the Qantas Impulse merger
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice Doggy' until you find the shot gun
 
EGGD
Posts: 11884
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2001 12:01 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Fri Jun 01, 2001 8:55 pm

ok i didn't read all so sorry if these have been said before:

US Airport voted Spotters Paradise

Low cost airline to start first class service

Caledonian Wings/celtic Airways commences service to JFK using L1011's from Prestwick.

Digital beats SLR

I am not a Patriotic American, says US citizen

KLM orders 100 Airbus aircraft

US Government allow Concorde to fly in its skys.

DH Comet 4 given second chance

B737-16000 first flight today!

B737-16000 becomes worlds largest aircraft flying commercially today!

Boats become more popular to travel on than airliners! Hurrah!

JFK was deserted this morning

First commercial flight for Blind pilot

Kai Tak re-opened, as Chep Lap Kok was too dangerous

Look at this photo, isn't it boring!

Side on Views more popular than cockpit and cabin shots

Singapore airlines domestic routes a big success!

ok, this is actually true, check
Click for large version
Click here for full size photo!

Photo © Don Boyd

and look at the date when added.

Why do aircraft need wings?

EGGD Big grin



 
lubcha132
Posts: 2642
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2001 10:37 am

RE: Topics You'll Never See On Airliners.net

Sun Jun 03, 2001 12:50 pm

"Somali Airlines orders new aircraft"
"Uganda airlines orders new aircraft"
"Ethiopian airlines orders new aircraft"
"FAA allows blind pilots"
"FAA allows trained baboons to fly planes"
"SAS cancels service to Norway"
"Continental reverts to "meatball" scheme"
"United designs nice paint scheme"
"American man 'I actually liked my flight on a Russian plane!'"

Hope i didn't offend anyone, my apologies in advance,

Josh

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